Villainous Company

"Are there 2 knives in my head? Or are you just happy to see me?"

Greg

As with most medical advances, progress was slow. In a rare photo, Dr. George Playtex unsuccessfully attempts to insert an early feminine hygiene product.

Hey, great to see you're back Cassandra. I will drive right into this caption contest.

"In the age before gun powder, Alexander the Great shows that is still possible to make a bomb."

Marvin the Martian on steriods:

"Get that earth creature and bring back the Uranium Pew-36 Explosive Space modulator!"

"You naughty Turk specimens!"

Also, speaking of the Hall of Shame, Pile brought a First at OTB home!

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah.

"When I pull this helmet down, my eyes can shoot flames!"

HALT!!! Or I shall see to it that a harshly worded resolution condemning your actions is passed immediately....after the proper amount of time for deliberations of course.

How could someone post anonymously without an e-mail address?, unless of course they were the person that came in third in that same caption contest.

Actually it wasn't even me, Pile, but congratulations! I knew you were going to win :)

I haven't set up all the options yet - I'm sure there's all kinds of stuff I still haven't configured. I didn't even start until last night.

"A curse upon your putrid souls! I have passed the 'Global Test' for approval for my military campaign"

Greg

After teaching Alexander how to rid his uniform of those nasty blood staines, Martha Stewart added a nice red duster to the top of his hat. In addition to a keeps his ceilings cobweb and dust free.

Now playing at a theatre near you....

Alexander The Open Minded Tolerant Fabulous Bisexual Warrior. Oh, and he was great too!

<Lisp>
I think I see what you're going for here dahhhling. The spatters of blood are little over the top on the whole masculinity bit, but the intricately detailed gold armor is simply fabulous sweety. And don't even get me started on that magnificent plume.
</Lisp>

Gayer than a french trombone, it's

ALEXANDER THE STUNNING,

and his friend Mr KY Sword.

"Get me rewrite!"

Nattius Maximum, you fwank the awmy to the left. Biggus Dikkus, you fwank the awmy on the wight. I shall chawge stwait ahead!

"Tis' better to die in battle on your feet....than to die from infection, on your knees"

Greg

I'm sorry to disturb you. I saw that this place was called "VC" in the above title and I thought I might see some old friends here.

"Now that we've deboned the camel, we'll let it simmer in the elephant broth that we made earlier...HEY!!! YOU!!! FAT LADY!!!! WOULD YOU KINDLY SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE???? I'M TRYING TO DO A COOKING SHOW HERE!!! Crimminies.
Where was I? Oh yes, the broth..."

Cooking with the Conqueror
Mondays on the Cooking Channel

Next on BRAVO..."Queer Eye for the Macedonian Guy" after these messages......

Greg

"And then its on to Macedonia! And Barfonia!!!And Cretonia! And Upper Elbonia! And YEEEAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!"

Ancient Primary Campaigns
Tonight on Tee History Channel

Before Thorax stumbled off the set and into the big fight scene in "Alexander", he would never have believed it was possible for a movie to suck more than "Revenge of the Killer Ants".

Strangely, no one questioned his presence on the set.

even better:

Twee History Channel...

Link Attempt

Just seeing what we can do with this new site thing!

I loooove the smell of elephant dung in the morning. Smells like.......... WICTORY!!

Hey big boy! Come up and see me sometime!

Stay tuned to C-SPAN for Rep. Barney Franks' review of "Alexander".

Greg

After his narrow escape from the Roman Bathhouse on Castro Street, Tuckus Maximus resolved never, ever to work another Pride Parade weekend.

"Hah!! Come back and see the REAL Macedonian sword I unsheath!!"

Greg

"You will fear the rubber sword of the Spanish Inquisition!"

You WILL bow to my manly massive love muscle or face the wrath of my mighty schword! Biatch!

Hey! you linked to it Cass! :-o

Greg, you fool... :)

That's twice now.

This is going to be a tough one to judge... I may have to get a team of judges.

I'd better stock up on beer.

Yes, I linked to it, but even my gutter mind didn't anticipate the full horror of the ....err... plentiful male references. All I saw was the stupid look on his face and those demented things coming out of his helmet.

Silly me - I must be more pure-minded than I thought.

"Mmmmmmmm, more beer!!!!"

Greg

Thorax of Ajax went over the top on his audition for "The New Village People."

"OOohhh...." Sashay swooned. "I just LOVE the way he uses that sword of his! So direct and to the point!"

"Good evening, this is Dan Rather.In an exclusive interview, Darius of Ionia reveals that Alexander was not "the great" but merely the "better than usual Friday night"."

Details on 60 Minutes II.

Greg

Yes, Dilbert, there has always been a pointy-headed boss.

"And that's the LAST time that I find foul laguage on my blog!!!!"

A candid of the Right Honorable Doctor Harden Stuhl after a hard day of medical blogging with assorted trolls.

Long before he blew the Democratic primaries, Howard Dean would stand in front of his mirror and practice screaming.




(If you go back a few contests you will also find the Cricket got a first at OTB, first)

THE SERVER'S UP! THE SERVER'S UP!




(IT humor)

Once a king always a king,

but once a (k)night is enough.

"Welease Bawwabus!"

The result after the first gay divorce

Australian for Moyhel

In the olden days before the advent of litigation caused toy manufacturers to put soft plastic, rounded tips on JARTS, outside lawn games were a lot more fun.

That is funny Rodney, I just relooked at the picture and that sword looks so dull you couldn't cut warm butter with it.

You seem to have a lot of pent up captioning in you? That is what would suck about running one of these contests like you do at OTB.

"And now, for sthomething completely different....sthlaughter the women and rape the men!"

Pent-up captioning didn't seem to help me all that much, Pile.

I think you guys are just good at it.

Thank you. Pile on

I always put my own captions on the winners page, as Rodney's bottom of the Barrel, and I try to name the edition of each contest with what is essentially another caption.

Leopold Stotch has been running third contest at OTB every week, that and the Wizbang contest is enough, though I missed Cassandra's. I wonder if McTrip will find his (at list I assume male) way over here. McTrip is another name I've started to depend upon, like yourself, to always come up with one or two really good captions.

"Kittens kittens kittens!!! Would you people PLEASE stop voting Republican!!"

In the deepest depth of his heart Edgar finally realized that the desires that lead him to become a Roman gladiator revolved around the sight of himself in that short, tight, leather skirt.

The endless grind at the lunchtime deli counter finally got to Cosmo, and in an uncontrolled moment he finally let slip what he'd been choking back for so many dreary years:

"Is THAT 'rare' enough for you, ASSHOLE?"

Having donated most of his winnings to the Church of Latter Day Saints and deeply depressed over his recent loss loss on Jeopardy, Ken Jennings, in an attempt to regain his know-it-all celebrity, signed on to the new reality TV game show Roman Carnage. The anxiety of having to start from scratch had an affect on Ken's thinking as he inadvertantly misjudged "Taking the Gladius." as a good thing.

It's Oliver Stone and my agent!!!!

The KING of SWORDS
(from the new Warrior-Wannabe Tarot deck)

"Tis I, Fellatus Deepus, come to claim my rightful reward!!"

Greg

"The Gods be praised!! We won't have to play Auburn!!"

(oblique USC reference)

Greg

Less Well Known Episodes in Scottish Economic History - # 375

No ya dumb bastid - I said "Go sell the tartans"

"I don't want to hear about any more failure rates!"

"I would wear condoms on my head! I would I would!"

MACEDONIA NUT

The med tech who was assigned to get a sample of Michael Jackson's DNA savaged the doctor who gave him the job and held the entire clinic off in a bloody showdown.

Meanwhile, news agencies from all over the world are camped out at the testing center to see if the ultimate secret Jackson has kept so long will be revealed: What species and gender he truly is.

MACEDONIA NUT ? Or, given the Persian upset, is he is just pistachio about something ?

Suddenly it occurred to Colin Farrell that Oliver Stone may have had an ulterior motive in giving him the lead role in "Alexander the Ingrate".

"ALEXANDER" - an Oliver Stone film - now on global release.

Fortune Favours The Bold !

Time Waits For No man !!

Newsweek Pans The Movie !!!

With the addition of blades to the chariot's axles, Alexander just knew that valet parking would never be the same again.

Scenes From The 2004 Election - No. 69 :

With typical dexterity and humility, a representative of the red states offers directions to the border with Canada.

After an exhausting day wielding his chopper, Alexander the Straight looks to be increasingly bent.........

Great Homophobic Moments in Movie Making # 517 :

When Oliver Stone first introduces Jared Leto's character to the battle scene - by barking "Hephaistion comes up to cover your ass" - all that Colin Farrell hears are the words "fist", "up" and "your ass".

The med tech who was assigned to get a sample of Michael Jackson's DNA


Cricket, I like just this part of your caption alone.

Well, I was going to leave it at that but got carried away. Thank you!

SADiator

Nice :)

(no no not another Jeopardy caption)

The competition to out do Ken Jenning's and become the next great Jeopardy Champion was fierce and came to a head when one costumed contestant said. "I'll take the Roman Empire for $2,500,000.00, Alex. The show and the host came to an abrupt end as Trebek's response was "but that category's question is only worth two thous...gwuuurrrk"

"On to Miami, and a crack at those Sooners!"