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December 08, 2004
Fake SPAM Contest
While we're waiting for me to rope some judges in on the Alexander Caption Contest, I thought maybe we could keep ourselves amused by making up fake SPAM messages. I have some hostility issues I need to work out after last night - I'm having a major Sense of Humor Failure.
Or just submit a particularly ridiculous real one to mock.
Posted by Cassandra at December 8, 2004 09:55 AM
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» Fake Spam Contest from King of Fools
Details here. My entry: I am exiled world leader John F. Kerry, a long speaking Senator from the United States of America. I have served as the personal assistant to the heiress of the Tomato Pulp Magnate for several years. After using my influence as ... [Read More]
Tracked on December 8, 2004 12:56 PM
Comments
Wow! Great post! Dealing with Spam can be a real hassle. You should take the hassle and worry out of your loved ones lives too by planning carefully for the most important moment of your life.
Posted by: spd rdr
at December 8, 2004 10:57 AM
[reaching for an enormous gun...]
I'm not sure whether to shoot myself or the spammer...
*BLAM!*
*BLAM!*
Posted by: Cassandra
at December 8, 2004 11:06 AM
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Posted by: Masked Menace
at December 8, 2004 11:21 AM
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Are you a pathetic loser with a huge beer belly and no social skills?
You're their kind of man! Especially if you haven't showered in 3 days and the last time you had sex was in 1982.
www.baby_ohbaby_ohbaby.com
Posted by: Cassandra
at December 8, 2004 11:43 AM
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at December 8, 2004 12:33 PM
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Posted by: Pile On
at December 8, 2004 12:38 PM
I am exiled world leader John F. Kerry, a long speaking Senator from the United States of America. I have served as the personal assistant to the heiress of the Tomato Pulp Magnate for several years.
After using my influence as a Senator and the money from the Heiress to elevate myself to the office of President in order to do much good, voter fraud and ignorance stripped me of the victory most won by me. The difficulties after such painful times was sorely difficult on my source of endowment and my future with her is now uncertain.
It is also much disturbing to me that the one who fraudulently obtained office will certainly lower taxes on those with greater financial resources. Being so opposed to such a maneuver, I have decided in my heart to separate myself from the source of my judicious wealth. Unfortunately, an action such as this one not being enough to completely eliminate the possibility of reduced taxation, I am in urgent need of your assistance to help complete this transition to a proper moral standing.
Assessing my material standing revealed a previously unknown account in a bank in Dakar, capital of Senegal, with substantial balances. Consequently, my proposal is
that I will transfer monies from this account into yours thus insulating myself and mine own estate from the grim realities of a failing to properly fund the government of this country.
Note that this transaction is simple and risk free because I will provide expert legal
services that will guarantee the successful execution of this deal. I wish to point out that after I would want 20% of this money to be shared among charity organizations, with another 20% left in savings accessible to me in case I should ever find myself in need of it. The remaining 60% is yours to keep, provided that you declare it as earned income and that honesty is the policy on your income tax return.
If you are interested, please contact me via my email address jfkerry@jfkerry.org.
Upon your response, I shall provide you with more details and how we shall proceed with this transfer. I expect you to observe utmost confidentiality and be rest assured that this
transaction would be profitable for both of us.
Awaiting your urgent reply
Thanks & Regards
Mr John F. Kerry (Esq.)
Posted by: King of Fools
at December 8, 2004 12:39 PM
Oh THANKS guys... I have now sprayed my lunchtime beverage all over my monitor. I'm not going to be able to talk on the phone for at least 10 minutes without laughing.
Posted by: Cassandra
at December 8, 2004 12:46 PM
Truer words were never spoken, friend. It's tough to deal with idiots day in and day out. That's why I've invented a simple device to help you thorugh your busy day. Try it free for three weeks and if your not completely satisfied with its magical powers, return it for a free refund.
Posted by: spd rdr
at December 8, 2004 12:53 PM
Does it come in extra large?
Posted by: Cassandra
at December 8, 2004 02:44 PM
Does it come in extra large? - Posted by Cass the wife of the perhaps aptly named Unit?
Posted by: Masked Menace
at December 8, 2004 02:51 PM
Oh boy... I'd say I'm not gonna touch that one, but...
Posted by: Cassandra
at December 8, 2004 02:56 PM
Re: overdue account
Absolutely guaranteed!
If at the end 30 seconds you have not expanded 12 inches, gotten completely out of debt and been awarded a free trip to the USA by the American Government, return for a replacement absolutely free except for a small* charge for shipping and handling.
Plus, you will weigh only 3 pounds!
Click SpamIAm.nut for more information or call 1-800-igotcha
*$70,000 US dollars. Please no rubles.
Posted by: MrsPurpleRaider at December 9, 2004 05:54 PM