Villainous Company

Look, Senator Anita Hill, I like Clarence Thomas as well as the next Republican, but I don't care what he said that day to you. This is what I saw, and I would hardly compare that to that Long Whatever Silver guy he was talking about.

I'm squishing your head! I'm squishing your head!

"Could I at least talk to someone with this much of a spine."

I'm holding your ethics right here, Teddy.

Steamed Rice

"Rusty Nail, neat."

"I got big balls, you got little balls."

"Senator Kennedy had this much left in his bottle."

"Exsqueeze me!"

"And this is how I personally created a new orifice in that woman."

"You're this far from pithing me off."

"Dick Cheney's is not so long, and is about yay wide. . . Yep, its pretty compact for a pacemaker."

I'm about THIS FAR from kicking. your. honky. ass!

Senator Boxer, I have a quote here of yours supporting President Clinton when he launched an attack on suspected WMD facilities in Iraq, "the president had no choice but to act today, anyone who questions the timing of his decision ignores the fact that we committed a month ago to act if [chief U.N. weapons inspector] Richard Butler reported that Saddam was not cooperating."

So this, THIS, IS HOW MUCH CREDIBILITY YOU AND YOUR DUSTMOP HAIRDO HAVE WITH ME!!

Damn, Masked Menace beat me to it! The correct quote, however, is: "I'm crushing your head" (famous skit from "Kids in the hall").

Senators Kennedy, Kerry, Boxer: you all collectively can't even come up with a can of whoop ass any bigger than THIS? BRING IT ON!"

You know, Senator Boxer, you need to use this much hair spray. Obviously the fumes from your hair spray have done a good job in addling your mind. And wasn't there any studies done showing that direct inhalation of hair spray is hazardous to your health?

"Briefs, Boxer!"

"Senator Byrd, didn't yo' Mama ever tell you not to mess with a Voodoo chile? No? Well, how does this feel under your old sheet?"

Babs, this is why your husband won't go near the swim club.

Talk to the hand Senator. What, you want it to talk back - OK. 'FU Senator.'

...

What, did my lips move?

Even without the glove puppet Secretary select Rice made more sense than her inquisitors.

"This close senator.......and usually I am on top.

Adjusting the wavelength of her intellect-crushing mindforce, Dr. Rice suddenly realised that in Sen. Boxer's case such action would be pointless......

"Senator Boxer, you must really think we're stupid....Well people are watching these hearings and your party's disgraceful record has not gone unnoticed."

"You're about this far from losing your monopoly on the black vote. Let my people go."

"Let me spell out what I think of you ,Senator........"C"....."U"....."oh wait, the C is backwards"...

Greg

DEATH TOUCH!!!

I'm tellin' ya- Monica said it was THIS BIG!

President Bush put his new ball buster on display in Capitol Hill today. Apparently, size doesn't matter after all...

Senator Kerry, you're about THIS far from winning the election...in France.

"This is how big Al Qaeda will be when we get through. Any further questions?"

I went over to "Caption This" and laughed until I hurt. My abs are almost washboard now...and John of Argghhh! needs to read Liberal Larry's suicidal SUV story.

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

"Oh Teddy... Did you know that a person can drown in just this much water?

Senator Boxer, spare me your theatrical anguish. Your close-minded support of Roe v. Wade only means that American citizens this big will never have an oportunity to vote you the hell out of office.

Sorry. It's just that sometimes....

Senator Byrd, I can only understand about this much of what you are mumbling, but did you just say something about miscegenation?

Senator Byrd, if you refer to me as cornbread one more time, I can assure you I WILL pop a cap this big in your as*.

Senator Byrd, I am THIS CLOSE to slapping you upside
your fat head. And did that comment come from off the top of your head, or the bottom?

"Well, Senator Boxer seeing as you ask I have it on good authority that the French foreign minister's measures a twelve......but don't forget, that's metric....

Dr. Rice: Now, are you sure you want to have a fight? Because I'm only gonna use my thumb and first finger.

Boxer: Thumb and first finger?

Dr. Rice: My left ones. The Right ones' are too powerful for you.

"I find your lack of faith in the Force disturbing, Senator Byrd..." {As Condi closes the gap in her fingers, Robert Byrd (former KKK Kleagle of W.Va. -D) begins to choke}.

or, how about this one:

"Former CIA operative under the Clinton Administration, Maxwell Smart, missed the intelligence appraisal of Iraq WMD by this much."

I will pick you up like a bowling ball and whip your arse through the lobby if you don't confirm me !

"This is your mind compared to mine. Take a picture so we are crystal clear."

I think we ought to mail these to Dr. Rice.
She might get a big old kick out of them and have
some Senator Hash for dinner. Heh.

"Senator Byrd, I've seen the CIA file on your KKK activities, and it's THIS DAMN THICK!.So your choice now is either STFU or see the Million Man March across your front lawn.And we'll be taking that stupid lawn jockey with us."

Greg

Dr. Rice explaining why Bob Dole endorsed Viagra.

Damn. Now I'm getting surfing instructions in the comments of other people's blogs. Sheesh people, gimme a break!

"Senator, I'm going to squeeze your head until it pops like the rotten melon it is..."

"Senator, what I've forgotten about foreign policy fits into the same, tiny bottle of your knowledge of foreign policy"

You obviously need taking in hand, John - there's always a woman around to do the job.

Perhaps you should get with SWWBO and set up a duty roster. She's gonna be traveling a lot here soon.

Ooo! A little, tiny, Argghhh!-alanche! At least people follow the links... but you'd think they'd do some more commenting/captioning!

C'mon, visitors! Read and heed!

If you just use this much bleach, Senator Byrd, on your next lynching you will have much whiter and brighter sheets.

Senator Boxer, you just can't use this much botox.

If you had about THIS much sense, Senator "Stand By My Man" Clinton, you would have left him years ago!

"Allright Senator Boxer, the gloves come off now...THIS is how close I am to opening a can of Del Monte Whup-Ass on your little "Traveling Salvation Show", and btw,Rep. Pelosi says she left her shoes under your bed, and wants them back"

Greg

Sen. Boxer, if you had a penis, it would be this big.

"Oh the shark bites... with his teeth, dear... and he keeps them... pearly white... Look out, Iraq is back!"

Hi Freeven :)

Boxer: "You expect me to believe that you were not complicit in the blunders of the Bush administration? You must think I'm really stupid."
Rice: "Only a leetle."

"Let me tell you how smart I think you are Senator Boxer. You take your brains, put them in a matchbox about this size, and they will bounce around like a BB in a boxcar."

"Let me tell you how smart I think you are Senator Boxer. You take your brains, put them on the edge of a razor blade, and they would look just like a pea rolling down a four ... lane ... highway."
:)

All things considered, the game of charades went fairly well, until Boxer left open the possibility of a racial slur by guessing Left Handed Monkey Wrench to the above picture. Fortunately for Boxer, Condi missed her with the chair.

"Two wrongs are only the beginning."

"This is what I think. Give a man an inch and he thinks he's a ruler."

C is for cock-a-doodle-doo, Senator Boxer.