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April 05, 2005

The Interview Game, Part II

Last week I got sucked into The Interview Game. Fortunately for the rest of you, spd rdr, that dashing former Navy man and penetrating legal mind, gallantly threw himself on the ticking time bomb. Masked Menace was the next victim volunteer. After torturing him with the hope of reprieve, I finally sent him his questions, the answers to which appear below:

1. If you could be a superhero, which one would you be? Why?

The older I get the more I wish I had read comic books as a kid. It seems every comic book is being turned into a movie these days. When they're done well, they're some of the best wastes of 2 hours. When done poorly they are barely worth the waste of the trailer.

Superman: Naw. Too plastic. Too Goody-Two-Shoes. Life is perfect except for the whole funky love triangle between Superman-Lois Lane-Clark Kent. Of course, he's not the first man to be brought to his knees by a rock.

Spider-Man: Hmmm. He's probably the most compelling character. He's real. He struggles with who he is. He gets to fly around the city and beat up the bad guys. But, he still wants to live a normal life with Mary Jane. He's conflicted, so both sides of his life are compelling characters, not just the superhero side like most everyone else. He's a superhero, but he has his demons. He's a loner and a geek. If I were a superhero this is probably who I would be. But since I get to choose would I really want to have to deal with all that haunted crap?

The Batman: Does he even really have superpowers? I mean really. Isn't he just a freak with a bat and rubber fetish who inherited enough money to work out a lot and buy lots of really cool toys? But then again, what geek can complain about being rich and having lots of cool toys?

The Batman it is.

2. Who, in your opinion, is the greatest baseball player that ever lived?

Wow, there is a reason baseball enthusiasts have, and will continue to, debate this for years. Baseball is such a role based game. A great pitcher, infielder and outfielder have such different responsibilities and skill sets. I really don't believe that any *one* person can qualify as best all around, even so called "five tool" players (Throwing Strength, Throwing Accuracy, Hit for Power, Hit for Average, Foot Speed). I don't look for a second baseman to hit 40 HRs a year. If he does, that's great, but it's gravy. I look for a guy with quick and sure hands. If he can reach the ball, you are out, no questions, just turn around and go back to your position cause you already know the outcome. These are skills that just don't get you endorsement contracts.

Without going through every position:

On the mound: Nolan Ryan. He threw *HARD* and still had good control. And he did it into his mid forties. That makes him a stud in my book.

Infield: Cal Ripken Jr.. You don't play every day for 2632 games without a darned good reason and it's not a great immune system.

Outfield: Willy Mays, 'nuff said.

Hitter: Ted Williams. Hitting .400 may have been easier in his time but until I see something close to that mark, he's got my number 1. A close second would be Barry Bonds. The guy's a jerk and a chemically enhanced one at that, but if I was a hitting instructor I'd be teaching from tapes of his mechanics.


3. Who's the most famous person you've ever met/spotted in public?

Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. A friend and I were eating at a nice (but hardly posh) Chinese Restaurant in Athens, Ga. One of the waiters said that they were not uncommon customers and when we walked out we did notice a signed picture of Basinger on the wall. It would have been nice to get their autographs, but I wouldn't like having my dinner interrupted by a couple of teenagers either.

4. Crash Davis once said:

Well, I believe in the soul, the [*crickets chirping*], the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

What do you believe?

I believe that is one of the greatest lines in all of movie making ever. Period. If you disagree with me, I don't want to hear it. You are wrong. End of discussion.

I believe that Jesus is the Son of God. I believe that He died so it wouldn't be my hide on that Cross.

I believe that it is my responsibility to provide for my needs and wants and no one else's. I believe that while not everything that happens to me is under my control, how I react to it is. I believe there is no such thing as "fair" only what is mutually agreeable. Sometimes I wonder what is so mutual that the LG agreed to marry me, I seemed to have come out much better in the deal.

I believe that my wife is the greatest thing God ever put in my life. Sliced bread may be the greatest thing since her. (No disrespect to the Unit, of course). I believe getting to wake up every morning next to her is one of life's simple pleasures, and that a long, slow, deep, soft, wet kiss from her that lasts three days is indescribable. I believe I need to get better at telling her that.

OK, I'm back now.

I believe no one else will have the *ahem*... guts... to tell Cass "Interview Me" in the comments. ;-)

5. What's the biggest thing that has changed about you as you've gotten older? Are you happy about it?

The biggest thing that's changed? My waist line, and no. Not particularly. :-)

The LG would probably disagree with this because I think I did a decent job of shielding her from worst of it.

It's probably that monster that lived in my head that kept me awake at night for hours after a ball game. I would replay every pitch, every play looking for an advantage. What worked that night, what mistake did I make. Did that guy open his hips a little too early to stay on (read: wait for) a changeup. Did the other guy lean just a little too far for the outside pitch that I could bury a fastball in on the guys hands. I wasn't particularly talented, or strong. I always had a bit of a belly (even at 9% body fat), was easily the slowest guy around, but was one hit away from batting .400 my senior year in college because I was obsessive about out working everyone. Even when baseball ended I knew it wouldn't be my last time on a ball field. It took years to tame that beast (and even then it gets out every once in a while and freaks the LG out), but I knew it wouldn't be fair to her (or me for that matter) to continue to obsess over what had to become just a recreational activity. I haven't killed it yet. It's still not fun to watch a game on TV. I keep going through the mental routines of the game. I find myself not watching the game but studying it. But at least I can play ball now without bringing it home. It's a very good thing.

I am now trying to decide whether there is any truth to the old maxim about no good deed going unpunished...

But I'd like to thank mr. rdr and Mr. Menace for their bravery and entertaining answers.

Posted by Cassandra at April 5, 2005 10:38 AM

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Comments

Babe Ruth hit for more power more often than anyone since (except McGuire) and batted well over .300 doing it, and he was the ONLY power hitter in baseball for part of that time. He actually hit more home runs one year than all the other teams (not counting his own teammates) in the AL combined. He was an all star pitcher and likely a hall of famer had he stayed on the mound. He won gobs of championships. And he did drinking, smoking and whoring around. And that was before the game. Other than that glaring omission, nicely stated MM.

Posted by: KJ at April 5, 2005 11:24 AM

Of all the baseball players I actually SAW, I would say that Roberto Clemente was the greatest player, and Juan Marichal was the greatest pitcher. Clemente was one the most graceful athletes I ever saw; he could hit (in an era when pitching was very dominant), was a great outfielder and had a great arm, even as he got older.
I saw a lot of Hank Aaron, and he was a terrific hitter, but just a so-so outfielder by the time he was 30 years old.
I saw Nolan Ryan and Tom Seaver actually pitch.
Nolan Ryan was wild a lot of the time (also all time leader in walks per innings pitched), and Tom Seaver was a bit of a wuss. Hitters were afraid of Marichal because he was MEAN on the mound (like Pedro Martinez now and especially Bob Gibson then, was MEAN, but I never saw Gibson pitch a game).
But whatever. Baseball is the greatest game ever invented. Period.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at April 5, 2005 11:48 AM

All I know is that the Nats lost their first game last nite and Peter Angelos is to blame.

He is the Anti-Christ - he put a hex on them.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 5, 2005 11:49 AM

Get used to the Nats losing a lot of games.

Posted by: Purple Raider at April 5, 2005 11:57 AM

Oh, I wasn't surprised :)

I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to vilify Angelos.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 5, 2005 12:03 PM

Cass,

Get used to it.

I admire Ryan, but I don't think he was the greatest pitcher. His walks were high, and his ERA was a bit high for "all time best" label. Limiting it to people who pitched in my lifetime (I mean, I never even saw film on those guys that pitched 50 complete games in the early part of the century) I'd probably be inclined to go with Gibson or Carlton. But I like Ryan a lot better. I will never forget his headlock ass whuppin' on a young Alomar (I think).

One of my favorite bits of baseball trivia: which Hall of Fame pitcher (1) holds the record for most walks given up with the bases loaded; (2) holds the record for most innings pitched w/o ever giving up a grand slam? Both answers, Jim Palmer. Give up one run, not four, was his philosphy. And he looked good in his underwear I'm told, not that I care.

Posted by: KJ at April 5, 2005 12:04 PM

Keep in mind, I am probably the youngest guy here at 28, so my observeable history is a lot shorter than most. All I have to rely on for much beyond the mid 80's are stories and stats. I grew up watching the Braves with Dale Murphy, Glenn Hubbard, Zane Smith, and Gene Garber.

As for Ruth, keep in mind he got to play almost half his games in Yankee Stadium with that short right porch. There is a reason it's called the house that Ruth built. For all the talk of bigger fields, Ruth had a distinct advantage. And once on the bases Ruth was a liability due to his lack of speed. You never hear anything about his defensive play.
It's also hard to compare stats. A hundred years ago it was not uncommon to see guys hitting .400. Now it's all but impossible. Starting pitchers weren't averaging low 90's and closers weren't routinly flirting with 100.

Posted by: Masked Menace© at April 5, 2005 12:34 PM

Cassie, I'm a glutton for punishment... Give me your best shot... (But don't expect anything too knowlegable about sports...)

Cheers!

Posted by: Sgt. B. at April 5, 2005 12:36 PM

And as I said, there is a good reason why this has been debated and will continue to be for a long time.

Posted by: Masked Menace© at April 5, 2005 12:37 PM

So is Kim Basinger hot in person?

Posted by: Pile On® at April 5, 2005 01:11 PM

Great interview and great answers. I like getting to know the Company we keep.

I await Sgt. B's with great anticipation.

Posted by: Cricket at April 5, 2005 01:34 PM

Teddy Baseball. No question in my mind (although my personal hero will always be the last man to capture the Triple Crown (hits, homers, runs batted in) MR YAZ, who just so happens to habve also played for THE WORLD CHAMPION BOSTON RED SOX.
I gotta go back into court now.
Enjoy!

Posted by: spd rdr at April 5, 2005 01:38 PM

As to the one other thing:
I also saw Willy Mays play, and though it was toward the end of his career and probably not fair, he just didn't impress me the way Clemente always did. Clemente just was a great hitter (lifetime ~.319) in an era (the '60's) when ERA's were much lower and the mound was much taller.

And it was Robin Ventura, not Robbie Alomar, that Nolan gave the ass-whuppin' to, after Ryan fired one up and in on Ventura, and the boy had the temerity to charge the old man on the mound.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at April 5, 2005 01:39 PM

She looked pretty much like she looks on screen. It certainly wasn't the no makeup situation like Fox did a couple weeks back.

Personally, Kim never really did much for me. She's attractive but my type is more busty brunnette than tall blonde.

Posted by: Masked Menace© at April 5, 2005 01:45 PM

As to Babe Ruth:
When I was a boy, Waite Hoyt did the radio broadcasts for the Cincinnati Reds, and would regale the audience with stories from the old days of baseball during rain delays. Hoyt was a left-hander (naturally) and pitched for the Yankees (in 1927, among other years; you can look it up). He had a high opinion of Ruth's abilities in comparison with modern day players (late'50's early '60's) as both a hitter and a fielder.
I personally tend to agree with 'Crash' Menace about Ruth, but there it is.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at April 5, 2005 01:56 PM

Thank Don. I knew it was a Rob, and it seemed like a Alomar kind of thing, but you are right.


As for Ruth, I read a nice little article in Cigar Afficianado a few years ago that took certain stats and compared hitters with their era. It wasn't even close -- Ruth was the greatest lifetime hitter ever compared to the people in his time. I think that makes a good argument. Bonds, FWIW, was high on the list at #4. I think Lou and Ted were 2 and 3, though I can't remember the order. Also, I again fall back to Ruth's pitching. Say what you want about his gut and defense, but he is the only person in major league history to be considered a great hitter after being a great pitcher at the major league level. I'm sure a few players might have been able to do both (if the Braves' Mike Hampton hit everyday, he might be a better position player/hitter than he is a pitcher, and he is a pretty good pitcher), but only Babe did both.

I also read a few years ago a stat guy that compared pitcher's ERA to the league average ERA in each season. I can't recall if W-L was included. Only starters qualified. As I recall, Maddux and Gibson pitched more than one of the best seasons in baseball history, with Maddux's season being the best ever compared to his league.

Check these numbers out:
Yr w-l ERA
88 18-8 3.18
89 19-12 2.95
90 15-15 3.46
91 15-11 3.35
92 20-11 2.18
93 20-10 2.36
94 16-6 1.56
95 19-2 1.63
96 15-11 2.72
97 19-4 2.20
98 18-9 2.22
99 19-9 3.57
00 19-9 3.00
01 17-11 3.05
02 16-6 2.62
03 16-11 3.96

Maddux makes a pretty good case as well. These numbers were during the long ball era also.

Posted by: KJ at April 5, 2005 05:50 PM

Yeah Maddux and all that, but chicks dig the longball.

Posted by: Pile On® at April 5, 2005 05:56 PM

Best pitchers since 1968:

1. Bob Gibson
2. Greg Maddox
3. Luis Tiant
4. Roger Clemens

Best hitters since 1968:

1. George Brett
2. Rod Carew
3. Kirby Puckett
4. Tony Gwinn

Best Power since 1968:

1. Barry Bonds
2. Hank Aaron
3. Mark Mcguire
4. Sammy Sosa

Note: Three of these four will have to be banned for life by baseball, it is the only reasonable course of action.

Best power unenhanced.
1. Hank Aaron
2. Harmen Kilebrew.
3. Jim Thome.
4. Mike Schmidt.

I hated Bull Durham: Kevin Costner can't act, Susan Sarandon isn't sexy, and the baseball footage used was unwatchable.

Superhero: Thor God of Thunder. Everyone else are poseurs.

Posted by: Know it all Raider at April 5, 2005 06:02 PM

but only Babe did both. - KJ

Today, for good, or (probably) ill, players would never be given the opportunity to do both.

Posted by: Masked Menace© at April 5, 2005 06:12 PM

chicks dig the longball...

Exactly. A well-executed longball makes me hotter than a habanero pepper grown during a month-long drought. Mettra-fact, I'm getting durned excited just thinking about it.

Works every time. Ladies?

Posted by: Cassandra, snarking from the sidelines at April 5, 2005 06:24 PM

" A well-executed longball makes me hotter than a habanero pepper grown during a month-long drought. Mettra-fact, I'm getting durned excited just thinking about it. Works every time. Ladies?"==Cassandra

Unstoppable, incurable. hopeless, helpless VAPORS incited & ignited............

Posted by: CKCat at April 5, 2005 06:30 PM

Well now there you have it.

Entire books have been written on this subject, and all the time the answer was so simple.

Who knew???

Posted by: Cassandra, snarking from the sidelines at April 5, 2005 06:34 PM

Cass, bring it on sister...

Best baseball player: The Mick -- drank himself to death and still hit 500 homers.

Spotting famous people in public: Paris Hilton. I was having dinner in Beverley Hills with John O'Neill (not too unfamous himself) at Mr. Chows. Paris and Donald Trump were there dining as well. Paris ain't that hot and Donald's combover is rediculous.

A positive change since I've gotten older: I'm more mature than my 6 and 2 year olds.

Buzz

Posted by: Buzz Patterson at April 5, 2005 07:26 PM

chicks dig the longball...

sounds like a personal problem to me.

Posted by: Masked Menace© at April 5, 2005 07:43 PM

Ha! I don't even know what a longball is! I just couldn't resist the chance to lob a little snark.

Looks like I'm going to be busy coming up with questions - sorry - I'm still working (ugh!). But I have a beer now, so that's something...

Posted by: Cassandra at April 5, 2005 07:48 PM

Well, in baseball terms, it's a homerun.

In other terms, well...it sounds like a personal problem.

Posted by: Masked Menace© at April 5, 2005 08:30 PM

I would put McGuire above Aaron on power. He has (or had, if Bonds has passed him during the last few seasons) the best home run to at bat ratio of all time, just beating Ruth. Again, Bonds has done a lot for himself on that state the last 5 years, but he wasn't all that great before that.

Ah, yes, Clemons. Another great choice.

One of the greatest but often overlooked: Mike Schmidt. Perhpas the greatest all around third baseman of all time, and Phillies fans booed him. Another great example of the retarded air floating in Phily.

PR, can't agree with you on Bull Durham or Thor. In fact, Marvel's space stuff, which includes Thor, never could hold my attention. The exception was Silver Surfer, but he was created for Galactor, and that guy just bored me to tears. The space stuff was too out there for me.

I like the X-Men except for the truely out there ones, like Storm. Control the weather? I don't think so. Telepathy and built in swords and looks like Anna Paquin but can't touch her? Those are cool powers, though I would be working on an Anna Paquin super thin body condom and fast.

I would probably say Batman was my favorite b/c he is pissed off and it is darker than most comics. Daredevil was a cool comic, though the movie sucked and people who didn't read it when I was a kid probably don't appreciate it. He was a lawyer, too.

Spiderman was OK, but I always liked his villains even better. Green Goblin and Doc Oct were great comic characters when I was a kid. I also like the Fantastic Four, OK, I was hot for the invisible chick. I wonder why radiation always created superheros for Stan Lee characters, but it kills everyone else.

Posted by: KJ at April 5, 2005 08:53 PM

Not esthetically pleasing. :)

I once rode on an airline flight with Edwin Newman, the former NBC newsman. He was a very big man in person.
I met Agnes Moorhead when I was a teenager. She had very red hair. Wow.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at April 5, 2005 08:57 PM

Thank you Menace. I didn't have a clue - I would have guessed it had something to do with pitching. Shows how much I know. Well, they can't take the infield fly rule away from me.

sigh....

Note to self: more sports posts. Gonna be a lotta pasting going on :)

Posted by: Cassandra at April 5, 2005 08:57 PM

Sorry, KJ, but Costner couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag.

Thor was cool because of all the Norse meaning of the comic, I wouldn't say Thor was space-y.

The Daredevil movie was unwatchable.

And I don't know who Batman is anymore.

I just wish the powers that be would write a script that had more of a story line.


Posted by: Purple Raider at April 5, 2005 09:38 PM

I never read comics as a kid. Except for Mad Magazine and the Fabulous Freak Brothers. Phineas, Freewheelin' Franklin, and Fat Freddy, those boys new how to live. The only bad guys were cops and narcs.

Posted by: Pile On® at April 5, 2005 10:37 PM

Costner can be pretty good in the right role, he is not real versatile though.

Posted by: Pile On® at April 5, 2005 10:38 PM

Costner couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag -- doesn't matter. Great movie.

Thor and spacey -- depends on when you read. I recall a time when his comics had him on some viking like ship, but it was in space. I really just couldn't get into those. All in all, Thor never stuck with me even though he was a Marvel character. I didn't like DC at all except for Batman. DC's Earth I and Earth II sucked also. Marvel was consistently better.

The Hulk movie was worse than DareDevil. But the Hulk TV show with Bill Bixby was pretty cool -- when I was a kid.

Posted by: KJ at April 6, 2005 04:13 PM

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