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June 19, 2005

"Ooooh, Chairman Baby..."

Via John Hawkins, this hilarious account of the Conyers madness from [wait for it...] Dana Milbank, that vicious right-wing attack dog:

Rep. John Conyers Jr. (D-Mich.) banged a large wooden gavel and got the other lawmakers to call him "Mr. Chairman." He liked that so much that he started calling himself "the chairman" and spouted other chairmanly phrases, such as "unanimous consent" and "without objection so ordered." The dress-up game looked realistic enough on C-SPAN, so two dozen more Democrats came downstairs to play along.

The session was a mock impeachment inquiry over the Iraq war. As luck would have it, all four of the witnesses agreed that President Bush lied to the nation and was guilty of high crimes -- and that a British memo on "fixed" intelligence that surfaced last month was the smoking gun equivalent to the Watergate tapes. Conyers was having so much fun that he ignored aides' entreaties to end the session.

Conyers is reportedly furious at Milbank. In a fit of pique, he fired off a letter of protest to the traitorous WaPo reporter. Hilarity ensued down at a local conservative watering hole:

...does his wife and family have to call him "Mr. Chairman" too?

I wonder how that works out during the throes of passion? "Oh, Mr. Chairman, deeper! DEEPER!".

The Detestable Milbank called it as he saw it:

The hearing was only nominally about the Downing Street Memo and its assertion that in the summer of 2002 Bush was already determined to go to war and was making the intelligence fit his case. Joseph C. Wilson IV, a former ambassador whose wife was outed as a CIA operative, barely mentioned the memo in his opening statement. Cindy Sheehan, who lost a son in Iraq, said the memo "only confirms what I already suspected."

...a line of reasoning the HVES suspects is not entirely unfamiliar to DSM conspiracy theorists.

No matter: The lawmakers and the witnesses saw this as a chance to rally against the war. Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) proclaimed it "one of the biggest scandals in the history of this country." Conyers said the memos "establish a prima facie case of going to war under false pretenses." Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) concluded that "the time has come to get out" of Iraq.

Visiting Common Screams, we find The People's Representatives have even given this movement a name - The Out-of-Iraq Congressional Caucus. Sadly we fear this nascent uprising of The People against the fascist warlords may have already suffered an insurmountable setback:

Kucinich joins 'Out-of-Iraq Congressional Caucus'

The People mourn...

Posted by Cassandra at June 19, 2005 08:23 AM

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