Villainous Company

Are panda's technically ursine? (I appreciate that this is a narrow-minded zoological question, so please do not take it as rank asshattery, which it would be if it were not a sincere question.)

TigerHawk -

It looks like pandas are related to bears.

Awwww!

I think the more important question here, TH, is this: IS THIS BEAR BLACK OR WHITE? Or Asian?

I see a bear cub tortured by a bi-racial identity crisis, living suspended between two worlds, not fully comfortable in either. He will undoubtedly need intensive counseling to cope with the horrible mental scarring and confusion of living in a world where he will be never be fully accepted by the black and brown bears and very likely marginalized and treated as Other by the polar bears.

I blame an uncaring and disengaged Bush administration and a specie-centric society that doesn't value bi-racial ursines for the unique qualities they bring to the Biosphere.

Cass -

What's more, these bi-racial bears have obvious signs of trauma - mother and cub have black eyes. Is this a case of the abused becoming the abuser? Can we stop the cycle of violence? I venture that no violence will EVER be stopped by the Bush administration, which pursues war as its primary means of expression.

Huh?

Ladies, come on. Can't we just appreciate the cute-ness of the baby bear without starting a racial arguement?

/up-ity-ness

Well, I for one certainly hope Mr. Greenspan does WHATEVER IT TAKES to rescue the economy from this weekend's "Bear Market".

Greg
I saw a bear once---he was a Kodiak-looking feller about 19 feet tall.He was sniffing all around my body trying to smell fear, but he ain't gonna smell none cuz I'm God's own drunk and a fearless man.And it hung 'im up.

Can't we just appreciate the cute-ness of the baby bear without starting a racial arguement?

Heh...

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa... I think we need to plumb the depths of this bear cub's obvious agony. I can tell by his chubby cuteness that he's a tortured soul :)

Greg, when I was a kid (about 12) we went camping and canoeing for 2 weeks up in Canada. It was just awesome. We saw bears almost every night - they came into camp foraging for food because people wouldn't put their food out of reach and the wild bears had gotten used to swiping it.

We used to haul all our food up a tree with a rope at night to keep the bears away, but one morning a woke to feel something brushing against my head outside the tent. I thought it was my Uncle Lou. A moment later I heard a "rip" and looked up. Right above me I saw a fang protruding through the tent.

My Dad had brought Rolaids into the tent because he had heartburn and the bear smelled them. We had pots and pans handy because banging them to scare off the bears was a daily ritual.

We still have the tent with the bear-holes.

Make sure you click on the slide show on the WaPo story - there were some really cute photos.

I think it was The Royal Guardsmen who sang...

"Bears, everywhere.Bears.Lookout,lookout.Bears,
Lookout,lookout.Bears....they don't care who they scare.So you better beware."

And then there's Ursa Major.
AND Ursa Minor.
And Bears on the Interstate.
Chicago Bears.
Bear with me while I think of more examples.

Greg

Greg, that was truly unbearable. Please, don't talk about the Chicago Bears. 1986 was certainly a great year, but so long ago. *sobbing softly*

Anyway, I'm no longer in Chicago, live in Phoenix now, and I don't want to talk about the Cardinals, either.

Those poor little pandas, victims of violence. Especially that poor mother panda, obviously a victim of rape, and provided with no access to abortion. Where is the NOW gang? Oh yes, I remember, distributing condoms and morning after pills in the hurricane stricken gulf. Priorities, ya know??

Well, at least I can say y'all have been my comic relief this Sunday mornin'.

:)

MathMom I have been thinking about your domestic violence theory, but I must dismiss it on the grounds of impossibiity. Everyone knows that even though there are no differences between men and women that would justify pay or wage discrimination or keep women out of combat, women are totally incapable of violence, whereas men are by nature primitive, vile brutes who live to bludgeon the weak over the head with the nearest blunt instrument.

Most likely the panda cub has been brutally beating his mother since birth (itself an unnatural, invasive act of violence against the female). Witness her black eyes. He may have inadvertently suffered a rebound injury after backing her into a corner during one of her many savage beatings, but that is just poetic justice and does not count.

Besides, as you know, men are by definition not capable of being "victims" of domestic violence. The mere idea is ridiculous.

Anyway, get a look at the sinister look on that cubs face - he looks smug. I think he's guilty of something. Probably a bellyful of warm milk.

Aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww. What a cutie.

Not only is the cub guilty of glutting himself with food, he is now being slavishly served by his oppressed mother who is obsessed with cleanliness.

I think she needs a break and must go to work in order to feel fulfilled. I don't know if employing her in a circus is stereotyping, so maybe as a defoliation expert? Of course, whatever company hires her would have to have to allow her to take Mei Xhiang to the corporate day care center now that he has had his shots.

Cass, you may be right. I'm sure I misinterpreted the source of the bruising – it is the Male-as-Oppressor, Female-as-Victim. To complicate her crisis, this peaceful vegetarian mother panda is seeking liberation from the Order Carnivora, Family Ursidae, all of whom are meat-eating, roaring, knuckle-dragging cretins. The gentle-natured Ailuropoda melanoleuca (black-and-white cat-foot) is conflicted in many ways. As you noted before, being neither black, nor white, but black-and-white forces her to exist in a constant state of indecision as to her Who-ness. Furthermore, being the only vegetarian of the order Carnivora, yet tagged with the name cat-foot (ailuropoda), again a foul meat-eater, causes her, when she is not being beaten by her male oppressor, to self-flagellate, not unlike our Muslim brethren Shiites. PeTA is not pleased.

As Cricket notes, this puts her in a neurotic state, obsessively, compulsively attempting to purify that which is black, ("Out, damned spot! out, I say!"), caught in the vortex of male expectation, in danger of being pulled under.

Cat-foot, or cat-FOOD? I report, you decide.

I love bear too. Tastes like buffalo.

Why is everyone glossing over the real issue here?

That being the ChiCom Government's repressive policy of only 1 offspring per family.Suppose Ling Ping (or whatever the mother's name is) decides to add to the family?Partial birth abortions are quite common in those parts.Is NARAL gonna adopt this Panda as a poster cub?
I think not.

Greg

KJ: "I love bear too. Tastes like buffalo."

Red wine or white??

Well, in China, humans are not endangered. Ergo, the parasitic offspring of humans can be controlled by fetal expulsion.

In the case of the sloth/bear, a lenient policy has been enacted. IOW, the panda mom has a choyce.

And do you want wings with that, KJ?