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March 09, 2006

Cass's Whack Little House Of Crack

This is the totally whacked house I drew at zero dark thirty the other morning. After exposing it to the derision of the spousal unit last night, I decided you'd all probably enjoy mocking me mercilessly:


I swear to God that I can draw better than this. It's just that I'm not the most patient person in the world, and after the pig debacle I was thoroughly annoyed and just wanted to get it over with.

I decided to engage in a little dimestore pschoanalysis, based on the obvious flaws in my little rendering:

1. You can see my habitual over-optimism in the fact that I couldn't even manage to fit the *&^% roof into the picture. You'll just have to 'imagine' it is magically there, as in, "...and then a miracle occurred and Cass's roof was made whole..."

2. The tortured looking figure in the foreground background (You can stop laughing now, Grim...what do you want? I'm left-handed, which is just one step away from mentally defective) is supposed to be moi, on her hands and knees, gardening. Why don't I have any gardening tools? Because they are still in the house. Probably in the basement where I always leave them. I'm probably digging in the earth with a spoon or some other makeshift implement like McGyver. Or I've fashioned some bizarre construct out of a paperclip, several Band-aids, an old bikini top and a bamboo pole I found in the woods because I'm too absorbed in what I'm doing and can't be bothered to stop and go to Home Depot and I won't ask my husband to do it for me.

3. Left out of the picture because I ran out of time: the 10,000 trays of bedding plants I bought at the local nursery to feed the rabid horde of Nut Buffaloes and bulb theives who infest my garden. They are so beautiful in the few glorious moments right before they are eaten...

4. If you're thinking I look like a stick figure, please don't say anything to my Mom. She's always trying to get me to eat more and it just encourages her.

5. For those inclined to snark at the regularity of the shrubbery under my windows, as I mentioned, I was getting impatient to be done. And in any event, I was governed by the following Infallible Rule:

Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out.

So go ahead. Snark away. I'll turn the other cheek and show mercy in a loving spirit of Christian tolerance.

Because that's just the kind of person I am.

Posted by Cassandra at March 9, 2006 08:53 AM


This house of yours. It's up 'round the bend isn't it?

Posted by: Pile On [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 9, 2006 10:06 AM

Cass, It's a very very very fine house, but where are the two cats in the yard?

Posted by: Masked MenaceĀ© [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 9, 2006 10:58 AM

Well, you draw better than Barbra Streisand spells.

FYI, I read that tiger droppings will keep pests out of you garden

Posted by: beautifulatrocities [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 9, 2006 10:59 AM

That would be two *very big* cats.

Posted by: Masked MenaceĀ© [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 9, 2006 11:02 AM

You know, life *used* to be so hard.

Now everything is easy cuz of yoooooooooooooooou.

[group hug]

Posted by: Cassandra [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 9, 2006 11:27 AM

At least you weren't banging your coconuts together.

Posted by: Chris Hunt [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 9, 2006 03:35 PM

Heh. She keeps telling us her coconuts aren't big enough to whack together...

Posted by: John of Argghhh! [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 10, 2006 04:55 PM

You are about to die there, big guy.

I never said I was flat-chested. Though I will readily admit that I'm sure most of you 'conossieurs' out there would probably find me sorely lacking, but seeing as I'm happily married and not about to pose for Playboy anytime soon I will try not to let that bother me too much.

We try to live with our little deficiencies :)

Posted by: Cassandra [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 12, 2006 10:16 AM

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