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June 24, 2006

Proof That Women (Other Than MoDope) Can Do Math

Finally, scientific proof that women are evil.

Proof that girls are absolute evil:

First we state the fact that girls require time and money:

GIRLS = TIME X MONEY

And as we all know, time is money:

TIME = MONEY

Therefore, GIRLS = (MONEY X MONEY) = MONEY 2

And because money is the root of all evil:

MONEY = EVIL 1/2

Therefore, GIRLS = (EVIL 1/2)2

And we are forced to calculate that:

GIRLS = EVIL

As it follows from the proof, EVIL is nonnegative (pretty strange to our usual assumptions about it). And since every nonnegative number is equal to its absolute value, we can state that:

GIRLS = |EVIL|

Thus,

Girls are absolute evil.

On the other hand, men are far worse.

Posted by Cassandra at June 24, 2006 09:55 AM

Comments

Although it is impossible to disagree with your main argument, the conclusion, "men are far worse," is, quite obviously, grasping at straws.

Posted by: RIslander at June 24, 2006 12:35 PM

So, what you're saying is...

man = girl x girl x girl

Gotcha. I can live with that.

Posted by: TMBC at June 24, 2006 01:38 PM

Yep, the straw man argument of men are worse will
be upheld by the MoDowd crowd of croissant-eaters.
On the otter heiny, I see this as comparable to the theory of the expansion of hell.

Carry on.

Posted by: Cricket at June 25, 2006 03:47 PM

From, Men = Evil^3 and Women = |Evil| it is offered that men are worse than women. That is not so. It depends on the value of Evil.

Using the assumption that the greater the value of Evil^3 or |Evil| is the "worse" gender, then
If the value of evil is 1, Men = Women, and are equally bad.

If the value of evil is > 1, then yes, Evil^3 is greater than Evil. Thus, men would be far worse than women.

But, if the value of evil is less than 1, then Evil^3 less than Evil, so women would be far worse than men.

(NOTE: if you reverse the assumption such that a lower value of evil is worse than bigger value, you would reverse the outcomes. The math though would be the same, such that the answer is still in doubt until you place a value of "Evil.")

Posted by: KJ at June 25, 2006 05:39 PM

Oops, something got deleted. To continue:

If the value of Evil

So there.

Posted by: KJ at June 25, 2006 05:40 PM

What is going on here? It keeps deleting my last formula. I'll use words this time.

If Evil is less than one, then Evil cubed is less than absolute value of evil, meaning that women would be far worse than men.

So you see, it depends on the value of evil as to who is worse.

Posted by: KJ at June 25, 2006 05:42 PM

Interesting.

Tech wench: why did it do that?

Posted by: KJ at June 25, 2006 05:43 PM

She can't answer you, since she is having a distortion of the space-time continuum. The spatial anomaly will only resolve itself when she disconnects from the Enterprise's computer after talking to it (hint: she is one of the mice)

Posted by: Cricket at June 25, 2006 06:23 PM

I think the s/w couldn't handle the opened and closed brackets - it thinks they're HTML instead of symbols.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 25, 2006 06:31 PM

Then why did it remove the "m" from "whom" in my sentence: So you see, it depends on the value of evil as to who is worse.

Huh?

Posted by: KJ at June 26, 2006 10:44 AM

That I would have to check on.

I didn't have time to look at the original comment text in detail.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 26, 2006 10:54 AM

I wish it were that simple. Guys still have to factor for the imaginary evil ( evil i ).

A year after the ark landed and the Lord sent them all out to multiply, there were additions to all species but the snakes. The Lord looked down (with that look on His Face), the snakes looked up and said "We're adders".
There'd still be only two snakes today if they hadn't tried adding on the log.

Posted by: Sonar at June 27, 2006 03:18 AM

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