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July 06, 2006

The Perfect Declares The Good the Enemy--Breaks off Relations

In a development that many people worked to mustn't let, The Perfect officially severed all ties to The Good stating " The Good just isn't Good Enough anymore. With all that has transpired we have no choice but to consider The Good our enemy". Good Enough welcomed the comments by The Perfect exclaiming " we have been trying to tell people this for years".

The Good said that while they were disappointed by The Perfects decision, they would continue their work and try to forge an alliance with someone else, perhaps Terrific.

Terrific who has been in negotiations with Not So Bad told reporters "given the circumstances we feel we have to explore all of our options".

Developing......

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Major adjective realignment continues.

The Average announces surprise merger with Vile. Reprehensible feels slighted, but observers say they may have just worn out their welcome.

Stay tuned.....

Posted by Pile On® at July 6, 2006 09:22 PM

Comments

"New Jersey sales tax will rise from 6% to 7%. Half the revenue will go towards...tax reform."

Isn't it ironic, don't ya think?!

Posted by: camojack at July 7, 2006 07:45 AM

If they had only asked, we here at the Institute would reform New Jersey's tax code for half that amount.

Posted by: Pile On® at July 7, 2006 08:39 AM

I wish I could think of something funny to say :) Thanks so much for making me laugh, Pile. I really needed it today - you have no idea how much.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 7, 2006 02:03 PM

The rumor mill is swirling so I just want to go on record and say that we are not in discussions with The Wanting.

Posted by: The Sanctimonious at July 7, 2006 02:11 PM

Oh piss off you twit, we may be lacking in some regards be we will never be so desperate as to associate with the likes of you.

Posted by: The Wanting at July 7, 2006 02:40 PM

**sigh**

Posted by: Desperate at July 7, 2006 02:41 PM

I just know they're coming after me next.....what if The Wanting doesn't want me......they're coming around the corner.....they'll never pick me......

Posted by: Paranoid at July 7, 2006 03:27 PM

Don't worry too much Paranoid, "They" still want you.

Posted by: Masked Menace© at July 7, 2006 03:44 PM

We don't want anyone to make a fuss or anything, but we're more than happy to help anyone out that needs it.

Posted by: The Meek at July 7, 2006 03:48 PM

Since we're all putting it out there: We're tired of yall's passive-aggressive crap. If you think you can do better, go pound sand.

Posted by: The acceptable at July 7, 2006 03:54 PM

Get back to work, slackers.

Posted by: The Man at July 7, 2006 04:40 PM

Whoa dude. Gotta work late on a Friday? Sucks to be you.

I'm off to get me a beer.

Posted by: Khakiers at July 7, 2006 05:35 PM

The Man thinks he's in charge. How cute.

Posted by: The Woman at July 7, 2006 05:40 PM

*starts crying loudly*

Posted by: The Child at July 7, 2006 06:20 PM

I crack myself up! Hee hee!

Posted by: The Humorous at July 7, 2006 06:34 PM

Will somebody please take care of the brat!

Posted by: The Older Sister at July 7, 2006 06:40 PM

Please don't sully our reputation by dragging us into a discussion of adjective skirmishes.

Posted by: The Nouns at July 7, 2006 06:44 PM

Older Sister, could you please take care of your younger sibling? I am preparing dinner now, and your boyfriend is due here any minute and I know how mauch you want to make a good impression on him with your 'mothering' skills...

Posted by: Mom at July 7, 2006 06:45 PM

Oh get of your high horse you putz. You sir, can be replaced.

Posted by: The Pronouns at July 7, 2006 06:47 PM

...

Posted by: The Illiterate at July 7, 2006 06:55 PM

We would like to take this opportunity to reaffirm our cooperative relationship with The Poorly Executed.

Posted by: The Ill-conceived at July 7, 2006 07:26 PM

thanx ill, it's ben our plesure.

Posted by: The Poorly Exacuted at July 7, 2006 07:35 PM

I am looking to form a strategic alliance.

If you know what I meam.

**and I think you do**

***wink wink***

Posted by: The Horny at July 7, 2006 07:38 PM

Hey baby!!

Posted by: The Drunk at July 7, 2006 07:39 PM

This thread is going downhill fast...heh.

Posted by: The Blog Princess at July 7, 2006 07:48 PM

Look, Horny, I'll thank you not to "horn" in on my action with The Man. He's not getting any younger, you know, and I only get one shot these days.

**exit, stage right**

Posted by: The Other Woman at July 7, 2006 07:51 PM

The Horny is looking at Older Sister
*nudge nudge, wink wink*

Posted by: Slighted friend at July 7, 2006 07:53 PM

Let us pray for a desirable Outcome with The Good.

Posted by: The Pious at July 7, 2006 07:55 PM

What's your angle Pious?

Posted by: The Unscrupulous at July 7, 2006 08:18 PM

I wash my hands of both of you...

[groan]

Posted by: Pontious Pious at July 7, 2006 08:22 PM

What's your angle Pious?

Here, let me help you find the Right one.

*running away*

Posted by: Pythagorus at July 7, 2006 08:24 PM

What's all this, then, this "Good", and "Perfect"? Can't we all just get along?

Posted by: The Mediocre at July 7, 2006 08:26 PM

Can't we all just get along?

How trite. We expect better from you The Mediocre.

Posted by: The Satisfactory at July 7, 2006 09:09 PM

My Angle is merely to ensure that Good will be in synch with Perfection to become One with The Other.

Posted by: Pious at July 7, 2006 09:14 PM

I'm just treated badly by everyone. My life is like an Albert Camus novel.

Posted by: The Other at July 7, 2006 09:35 PM

It's true. Nothing matters, so why try to change our behavior? We are alone, friendless, in a world without God or the possibility of escape. Nauseated by our crushing freedom of action, we crush the smoldering Gauloise of our own existence and saunter into the void.

Posted by: The Stranger at July 7, 2006 09:52 PM

"My life is like an Albert Camus novel."


As if a bohemian isn't just asking for it.

Posted by: The Vicarious at July 7, 2006 09:52 PM

Gauloises are coffin nails. Sauntering will make the Almighty send you to where Ken Lay is. A hell of rolling blackouts, randomly timed and lasting forever.

Posted by: Self Righteous at July 7, 2006 10:05 PM

What?

Posted by: The Clueless at July 7, 2006 10:18 PM

It is the unbearable ennui of being, cherie.
I think. Or it is just that I am tired.
Bon nuit.

Posted by: Edith Piaf at July 7, 2006 10:34 PM

Aww sheesh Edith.....shawdupppp already.

Posted by: Archie B. at July 7, 2006 11:02 PM

Let's do this again real soon.

Posted by: The Redundant at July 7, 2006 11:13 PM

Good night Archie, good night Mom,
Good night Stranger, sauntering out of the Room.

Good night Pontious, Good night Friend,
Good night Mediocre, Good night Man.

Good night Nouns, Good night Child,
Good night Pythagorus, Good night Pile.

Good night Drunk, Good night Menace,
Good night Edith, Good night Pious Praying around.

Posted by: Cricket at July 7, 2006 11:38 PM

> "New Jersey sales tax will rise from 6% to 7%. Half the revenue will go towards...tax reform."
> Isn't it ironic, don't ya think?!
> Posted by: camojack at July 7, 2006 07:45 AM

> If they had only asked, we here at the Institute would reform New Jersey's tax code for half that amount.
> Posted by: Pile On® at July 7, 2006 08:39 AM

I think it is quite clear that New Jersey should have been required to put it up for competitive bid.

I normally change $7.50 for such services, but for Jersey, what the hell -- Six-fifty!

Posted by: OhBloodyHell at July 8, 2006 11:59 AM

Personally, I hate people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

Posted by: The Verbose at July 8, 2006 12:03 PM

ALL of you... please:

Tell us about your mother.

Posted by: Sigmund at July 8, 2006 12:04 PM

My mother is Noam Chomsky. My father is the Professym of Midget Studies and the Kama Sutra at Evegreen State College in Olympia, WA.

Posted by: Chylde Prodygy at July 8, 2006 12:47 PM

What a maroon! What an ultra-maroon!

Posted by: Bugs Bunny at July 8, 2006 01:51 PM

Pile, I read this again, and it is still damned funny. I hate you :)

I'm so glad to have you here at VC.

Posted by: The Laughing Hysterically at July 9, 2006 03:27 PM

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