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July 14, 2006

The WaPo Is Suing Dick Cheney! *and* Caption Contest

Update: I love this photo so much, let's just turn it into Friday's caption contest. Yes, I know I'm behind on judging. I'm swamped at work and with the Power Line thing this week my mail box is filled to overflowing. So sue me - I'll catch up next week. Live for the moment, people. For tomorrow the Wilsons may violate us.

wilsons.jpgIn a development that surprised no one with an IQ over 35 stunned Capitol Hill insiders, The Washington Post joined the legal team of ProsecutingRove LLP representing power couple Joe and Val Wilson; weighing for Round One of what is sure to be a series of roundhouse punches in the Trial of the Century:

Former CIA officer Valerie Plame and her husband, former ambassador Joseph C. Wilson IV, filed a lawsuit yesterday against Vice President Cheney, presidential adviser Karl Rove and former vice presidential aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, accusing the three of violating their constitutional rights in retaliation for Wilson's criticism of President Bush.

The half-vast editorial staff were just elated at the implications of the Post's opening arguments to the Court of Public Opinion. However did we manage to miss this? Have the Black Nine, MacGyver-like, conjured yet another constitutional right for We The People from little more than a discarded scrap of Jacques Derrida, a few crumbs of brie and a single strand of Justice Sandra Day O'Connor's silvery locks snatched from the SCOTUS break room floor? Literally breathless with anticipation, we eagerly read on to see what our new "right" could be:

Plame and Wilson say that, after Wilson accused Bush of twisting intelligence about Iraq's pursuit of weapons of mass destruction, Cheney, Rove and Libby conspired to "discredit, punish and seek revenge against the plaintiffs that included, among other things, disclosing to members of the press Plaintiff Valerie Plame Wilson's classified CIA employment."

Egad! The "Constitutional right" to Untwisted Intel and a Leakless CIA! Will someone PLEASE alert Bill Keller!

Suddenly we feel distinctly violated in all our orifices.

Who knew!Interestingly enough, after a 2 1/2 year-long federal special investigation and not one, but three taxpayer-funded inquiries into whether pre-war intelligence was manipulated, the Post is unable to come to any definitive conclusions about whether there is a single shred of evidence that Cheney, Rove, or Libby did, in fact leak Plame's identity.

Robert Novak just this week went public with the news that it was neither Rove nor Libby but a third "highly-placed Bush official" who was "not politically motivated", an appellation which hardly seems to describe Cheney who "inadvertently" tipped him off to Plame's CIA employment. But you'll see not a whisper of that late-breaking story in the plaintiff's complaint...err... this news story. It is a news story, isn't it? After all, it isn't on the Op-Ed pages. We readers get so confused sometimes.

But as counsel for the Plaintiffs, these are facts the Post has no obligation to present to the reading public. It is not their brief to be unbiased, you see. Their job is to advocate aggressively for their clients, the Wilsons. This, undoubtedly is why Post reporters don't find time to mention that neither the Senate Select Intelligence Committee investigation, the Robb-Silverman Commission, nor the Butler Report support Herr Wilson's case terribly well. It no doubt explains why even this article from the Washington Post's archives seriously undermines Joe Wilson's credibility. We expect that PostSelect Wall will be coming up any time now:

Former ambassador Joseph C. Wilson IV, dispatched by the CIA in February 2002 to investigate reports that Iraq sought to reconstitute its nuclear weapons program with uranium from Africa, was specifically recommended for the mission by his wife, a CIA employee, contrary to what he has said publicly.

Ouch.

Wilson last year launched a public firestorm with his accusations that the administration had manipulated intelligence to build a case for war. He has said that his trip to Niger should have laid to rest any notion that Iraq sought uranium there and has said his findings were ignored by the White House.

Wilson's assertions -- both about what he found in Niger and what the Bush administration did with the information -- were undermined yesterday in a bipartisan Senate intelligence committee report.

This is what laymen often refer to as... what's that Phrench term? L'Evidence? And we won't even begin to go into the fact that La Wilson's hyperbolic claims that her life was endangered by the "leak" may run aground in the face of persistent rumors that her identity was the talk of the Georgetown dinner circuit and FauxNews green rooms. Oh Joe... you naughty, naughty boy. Loose lips sink ships.

But what does the WaPo Wilson's legal team choose to repeat later on?

"The audacity and malevolence of that campaign is compounded by the fact that at the same time the Wilsons were being attacked, the administration in fact was acknowledging the validity of Mr. Wilson's public statements," the suit said. "The fact that the administration had to admit its mistake is one likely reason why the Defendants chose to attack the Wilsons."

We understand now. This is what we call "journalistic integrity". We are getting "the other side of the story". No doubt any day now, the Post will present a balanced accounting that will rigorously examine and present all the facts on the ground.

Posted by Cassandra at July 14, 2006 06:55 AM

Comments

"ProsecutingRove LLP"
Very good, Cass! So did you ever figure out which Constitutional Right Bushcheneyrovelibby denied the Wilsons? First AMendment? Nah, Joe's been blabbing like a drunken co-ed for years. RIght to privacy maybe? That could be it. Bushcheneyrovelibby forced Joe to write an article for the New York Times under threats of reveling to the six people in Georgetown that didn't already know that his wife was a dominatrix for the CIA.

It should be a good show. I hope they can bring in Judge Ito to preside.

Posted by: spd rdr at July 14, 2006 07:46 AM

I hope I may be forgiven that little bit of snark :)

I was rather proud of it, but it was all in good fun. And no, this case is a real head-scratcher. I'm only laughing at this point because the alternative is that I'd tear my clothes off and run into the lake screaming.

Which would no doubt amuse my neighbors (they already think I'm nuts) but horrify my son, who'd be forced to arrest me. Heh.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 14, 2006 07:56 AM

Three pointer!

Forgiven:)

Posted by: portia at July 14, 2006 08:22 AM

Pardon me, do you have any gray poupon?

Posted by: Roger at July 14, 2006 08:55 AM

Great and funny! Don't know how to submit for caption contest, but for Wilson/Plame, mine would be: Unconscious imcompetence is so intoxicating

Posted by: JFH at July 14, 2006 09:55 AM

It would seem to me that Rove violated their fifth amendment rights. They obviously can't shut the hell up and go away.

Posted by: Pile OnĀ® at July 14, 2006 09:59 AM

"How about tonight, I be Thelma and you be Louise?"

Posted by: V the K at July 14, 2006 09:59 AM

bwa ha ha ha ha!!!

Posted by: Cassandra at July 14, 2006 10:07 AM

The publicity bloated Wilsons see their influence declining and are trying to politically resuscitate themselves

Posted by: John Calomiris at July 14, 2006 10:10 AM

"Maxwell Smart and Agent 99, at your service."

Posted by: Jim T at July 14, 2006 10:21 AM

Let them eat yellowcake.

Posted by: jl at July 14, 2006 10:53 AM

Excuse me, officer? My name is Joseph Wilson and this is my wife, Codename: Baker's Wife. I'm supposed to brief the President on my recent trip to Iraq. You see, I was sent there to find evidence of WMDs.

Um ... could you point me to the White House?

Posted by: Robbie at July 14, 2006 10:57 AM

A new reality based espionage series starring ChiChi La Plame and her dashing Ambassador husaband. Join them as they gallivant all over the world, working as a field agent and his brainy analyst sidekick partner. You've read the gripping story in the NYT, now live the dream!

Posted by: Cricket at July 14, 2006 11:20 AM

Nicely done but meaningless.

I have nothing but contempt for Bush for letting this story eat at his administration without the slightest inclination to fight back.

Bush gets what he deserves. His failure to respond to his adversaries attacks is an unforgiveable weakness.

Posted by: Charles V at July 14, 2006 02:10 PM

"If my wife didn't already have my nuts in a jar I would have sold her out too."

Posted by: ChatterBox at July 14, 2006 02:12 PM

Only if you failed to get any of the points I made, Charles.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 14, 2006 02:24 PM

How delightful to get a response! But I listened to the Odonnel(sp)lady this morn on CNN (or Msnbc?) and she attacked with nary a word about the credibility of Wilson. and so too we will hear the same from NYT, WP, ABC, NBC, etc. etc. and the overwhelming majority of Americans will believe that Wilson and Plame claim has validity except for us hearty souls who search for and find the truth on (what most would view as obscure) internet.

Big election coming up.............

Posted by: Charles V at July 14, 2006 02:39 PM

Two Captions:
Valerie WHO? ; Mr. and Mrs Smith

Posted by: Tom Kubitz at July 14, 2006 03:36 PM

Preach it, Brother Charles!

I, too, grow weary of spanking our liberal brethren in Christ. They enjoy it far, far too much and my hand gets so sore.

It is a dirty job, but since according to the reality based community, our Founding Fathers (bless their naughty Cross-dressing, Transgendered Souls) wrote a Federal Shield Law into the Bill of Rights, we appear to have no choice.

Let us just hope that our freedom loving friends at the Pew Charitable trust do not get more speech-enhancing legislation like McCain-Feingold passed.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 14, 2006 03:56 PM

Captions: "I could go somewhere if only my foot could reach the pedal..."; or "The Wilsons are about to go down in Plames..."

My biggest concern is that a lawsuit only needs one bad judge to be a big circus. If only one of the lesser defendants would countersue. Can we get a class action lawsuit against them for wasting our time?

Posted by: Tom at July 14, 2006 03:57 PM

Do you smell it?

Posted by: jeff at July 14, 2006 04:54 PM

They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.

Posted by: Elwood Wilson at July 14, 2006 05:34 PM

You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood in the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you Mr. Vice-President, and your President.

Posted by: Mystery Woman at July 14, 2006 05:37 PM

Well done!

Yet,I blame Bush for his failure on a broader issue. From day one, W has refused to purge the filth left over from Willie's years.The CIA leaks, Wilson, and several other problems, the details of which escape me (Gorelick is one),are all the result of W's failure to get rid (legally, of course) of Willie's garbage or his insistance on treating some who did leave as if the were honest or interested in anything other than regaining lost power.

Posted by: Marrty at July 14, 2006 05:45 PM

My wife. The preeminent symbol of sacrifice in The. War. Against. Terror.

Great Acronym.

Posted by: Chuck at July 14, 2006 07:40 PM

Oh...my...

I just spit out beer.

I'm still laughing :D

Posted by: Mr. Miyagi at July 14, 2006 07:47 PM

Caption:

"I Spy, I Lie"

Posted by: DMills at July 14, 2006 08:18 PM

My caption (well, word balloon), and a few others besides, here.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at July 14, 2006 08:20 PM

"When the got together, it was murder! Don't miss the Hart to Hart Reunion Special - Wednesday at 9:00, 8:00 Central on ABC!"

Posted by: SmokeVanThorn at July 14, 2006 09:12 PM

caption "which one is Charlie McCarthy?"

Posted by: Hal at July 15, 2006 06:36 AM

"No Cherry Pickers Here."

Posted by: radio free fred at July 15, 2006 07:26 AM

Or Terrible Weapons And Tactics Team.

Posted by: Cricket at July 15, 2006 10:15 AM

Caption -

The Politics of Truth: It's Not Cashmere; It's Vicuna: An Ex-Diplomat's Wardrobe.

Posted by: J2 at July 15, 2006 10:25 AM

Go here:
http://www.captainsquartersblog.com/mt/archives/007494.php#comments
to read about the judge. Doesn't look to favorable to attention whores

Posted by: commander0 at July 15, 2006 11:37 AM

I have no idea why the link doesn't work. The entry is from July 14th and is titled "Talk About a Bad Draw!"

Posted by: commander0 at July 15, 2006 11:40 AM

> It is a news story, isn't it? After all, it isn't on the Op-Ed pages. We readers get so confused sometimes.

It's kinda like that moment, retold in The Right Stuff where Alan Shepherd took a leak in his spacesuit.

The WaPO has taken a leak in their printing presses -- and "They're all OpEd now".

Posted by: OhBloodyHell at July 15, 2006 02:08 PM

We will sue you forever if you do NOT bring us......

A SHRUBBERY!!!

Posted by: ChatterBox at July 15, 2006 07:04 PM

Boris and Natasha Badenov hunt for Moose and Squirrel in the new Rocky and Bullwinkle movie.

Posted by: Cricket at July 15, 2006 08:17 PM

"Just because we've never read the Constitution doesn't mean we wouldn't know that our rights have been violated."

Posted by: Julie at July 15, 2006 08:53 PM

"Meet the Wilsons!...shiving the American Dream"

Posted by: Stephen at July 16, 2006 03:29 PM

Same Lame Plame Dame Blame Game

DRUDGEREPORTING: In a stunning coincidence of mistakes the NYT Inadvertantly prints the truth with the headline
Lame Accusations Made Against Dick Cheney. In a further startling revelation a NYT Spokesperson clarifies
the cause of the type-o with this unprecedented lucid statement. "We Forgotta 'Pee' on it". we can only hope
they forget to Pee on a lot of other reports as well. Develoing...

Posted by: Rodney Dill at July 21, 2006 08:12 AM

I can't see the villainouscompany.com/vcblog server from my home site, unless I use VPN to appear somewhere else. Are you blocking some Comcast domains?

Posted by: Rodney Dill at July 23, 2006 09:26 PM

Now that it has been revealed that Mr. Armitage was the leaker, perhaps you could assemble some of your (very humorous) observations on the situation as of 9/1/06?

Posted by: houser at September 1, 2006 02:53 PM

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