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October 10, 2006
Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz...
U.S. intelligence agencies say, based on preliminary indications, that North Korea did not produce its first nuclear blast yesterday.U.S. officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that seismic readings show that the conventional high explosives used to create a chain reaction in a plutonium-based device went off, but that the blast's readings were shy of a typical nuclear detonation.
"There was a seismic event that registered about 4 on the Richter scale, but it still isn't clear if it was a nuclear test. You can get that kind of seismic reading from high explosives."
The underground explosion, which Pyongyang dubbed a historic nuclear test, is thought to have been the equivalent of several hundred tons of TNT, far short of the several thousand tons of TNT, or kilotons, that are signs of a nuclear blast, the official said.
The official said that so far, "it appears there was more fizz than pop."
When asked for comment, a certain North Korean leader released the following statement:
Attentioning here to, Imperialists, is yellow running dogs and the scrapplemask which it operates:There is no weapon of many destruction!
There is no weapon of many destruction!
There is no weapon of many destruction!
The half vast editorial staff should not find this funny.
But we do. We do. We invite the readership to mock Lil' Kim Il mercilessly by supplying the advertising slogan of your choice for this explosive interlude.
Posted by Cassandra at October 10, 2006 08:40 AM
Comments
Remember, it's anonymously-sourced.
For what it's worth, I've seen some bloggers saying that the NorK's have been trying to use Plutonium, and that a rushed production of Plutonium can result in a bomb which doesn't reach critical mass properly--hence, it fizzles.
(the article I refer to is on this blog. I can't figure out that blog's archive system, so if the article isn't on the front page, you should be able to find the article using the built-in search function, and the phrase "plutonium fizzle".)
Of course, all this is guessing based on third-hand, mostly anonymous reporting. I suspect that the NorK's didn't get what they wanted with the explosion, but that one thing they wanted was a membership card to the Nuclear Club.
They now have that membership, whether it is good for them or not.
Posted by: karrde at October 10, 2006 11:05 AM
They can't always get what they want - and that's a very good thing. I can't believe that it was a nuclear blast - if it was, someone would have picked up some radiation somewhere as I doubt the Norks care if they cause some fallout enough to bother with proper precautions.
Posted by: Beth Donovan at October 10, 2006 11:58 AM
Newly enhanced North Korean nuclear weapons! Now with Viagara for added staying power!
The mushroom cloud that stays up a full six hours!
Infidels and capitalist running dog lackeys will not be satisfied!!
Buy now! Supplies are limited!
"These are not the nuclear weapons that you were looking for!" - Bagdad Bob
"I liked the new North Korean nukes so much, I ran!" - sez Ayatollah Daddiola.
!!!! Time marches on!!!!
Posted by: Don Brouhaha at October 10, 2006 12:19 PM
Found this on Cassandra's "information page"
"How come I never received that stuffed marmoset Cassandra promised me?
Good Lord, man. You didn't really believe she was going to mail you a marmoset, did you? Do you even know what a marmoset looks like?"
- You aren't young lady I met in the Bahamas who smuggled the marmoset from Brazil to the US tucked down her bra are you?
Posted by: reefdiver at October 10, 2006 01:17 PM
Well, it amused our reverse side away extremely when NPR actually not only quoted John Bolton IN CONTEXT, but even mentioned his job description.
Posted by: Cricket at October 10, 2006 01:55 PM
WHAT! NPR acknowledged John Bolton?
What is the estimated half-life of this spirit of "something serious must be done!" ????
Weeks? Days?? Hours???
How soon will we turn to that sainted American diplomat (drum roll!!) Jimmah Carter???
"Hep us Jimmah! Hep us from that mean old Kim-Jong Il! And the neo-cons, too! Hep! Hep!"
How far away is a sage pronouncement from the Oracle of Plains, Georgia? Yes the denouncement of Bush the Terrible will come, but what about his friend, Kim-Jong Il? And how long did Denny Hastert know about this before revealing it?
**********
Is is only me, or is there a terrible sense of moral inversion in the world today? Just wondering.
Posted by: Don Brouhaha at October 10, 2006 02:32 PM
Would that be like a temperature inversion, I wonder...maybe THAT explains the perpetual haze over LA! Thanks Don!
Posted by: Sly2017 at October 10, 2006 03:08 PM
"Not enough bang for their buck"...or whatever currency they use in N. Korea; I know it's the Won in S. Korea.
(I haven't been there since '97)
Posted by: camojack at October 10, 2006 04:49 PM
I have never been to the Bahamas :)
But I am trying to get the Spousal Unit to take me to the Caribbean. I'll let you know if I meet up with any marmosets.
Posted by: Cassandra at October 10, 2006 05:37 PM
Yes, Li'l Kim: Can you tell us again why these are called 'NoDong' missiles?
Posted by: UN Doctor at October 10, 2006 08:06 PM
Jimmeh is prolly ensconced down Plains way, writing another potboiler mystery/romance/Brett Barboursville/Robert Ludlum whodunit.
I, on the otter heiny, being concerned with the neverending provisioning of Chez Engineer, due to the bottomless pits with hollow legs that we have for children, will be breezing by on my way to Fort Benning and purchasing pecans as well as buying out the commissary.
I will give him your regards.
heh.
Posted by: Cricket at October 10, 2006 09:52 PM
Stuffed marmoset for y'all, right HERE.
Posted by: camojack at October 11, 2006 06:55 AM
The Lone Star Times had a different take on the situation. http://lonestartimes.com/2006/10/10/north-korea-may-be-playing-a-different-game-than-we-think/
Posted by: Daniel at October 11, 2006 08:37 AM
The eyes seem to follow you...that's almost as bad as lemurs.
Posted by: Cricket at October 11, 2006 09:43 AM
How about "Pop goes the weasel"?
Posted by: bird dog at October 11, 2006 12:50 PM
"....missle erections, lasting less than 6 seconds, require immediate medical attention...."
Posted by: Big Bang Hunter at October 12, 2006 01:28 AM