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November 27, 2006
Another Botched Joke!
It is truly disturbing when we leave for a few days and return to find it impossible to come up with anything far fetched enough to parody our opponents. Jonathan Chait joins the long list of Lefties whose remarks (apparently) require translation:
This is obviously a swiftian tongue in cheek op-ed.
Oh, obviously. Because surely, like John Kerry and Charlie Rangel, he couldn't be serious either:
Yes, I know. Hussein is a psychotic mass murderer. Under his rule, Iraqis were shot, tortured and lived in constant fear. Bringing the dictator back would sound cruel if it weren't for the fact that all those things are also happening now, probably on a wider scale.
Of course we can't be certain, because under Saddam there was this slight problem of freedom of the press. You know, the news we kept to ourselves and all that?
Then there were the events that were not unreported but that nonetheless still haunt me. A 31-year-old Kuwaiti woman, Asrar Qabandi, was captured by Iraqi secret police occupying her country in 1990 for "crimes," one of which included speaking with CNN on the phone. They beat her daily for two months, forcing her father to watch. In January 1991, on the eve of the American-led offensive, they smashed her skull and tore her body apart limb by limb. A plastic bag containing her body parts was left on the doorstep of her family's home.I felt awful having these stories bottled up inside me. Now that Saddam Hussein's regime is gone, I suspect we will hear many, many more gut-wrenching tales from Iraqis about the decades of torment. At last, these stories can be told freely.
It's the uncertainty in life that gets you - it's just... torture!
Just in case things *are* worse now, let's not be foolish - let's bring Father Saddam back so we can inject a little order and civility into what would otherwise be an undignified brawl:
Hussein, however, has a proven record in that department. It may well be possible to reconstitute the Iraqi army and state bureaucracy we disbanded, and if so, that may be the only force capable of imposing order in Iraq.Chaos and order each have a powerful self-sustaining logic. When people perceive a lack of order, they act in ways that further the disorder. If a Sunni believes that he is in danger of being killed by Shiites, he will throw his support to Sunni insurgents who he sees as the only force that can protect him. The Sunni insurgents, in turn, will scare Shiites into supporting their own anti-Sunni militias.
And it's not just Iraqis who act this way. You could find a smaller-scale version of this dynamic in an urban riot here in the United States. But when there's an expectation of social order, people will act in a civilized fashion.
Restoring the expectation of order in Iraq will take some kind of large-scale psychological shock. The Iraqi elections were expected to offer that shock, but they didn't. The return of Saddam Hussein — a man every Iraqi knows, and whom many of them fear — would do the trick.
And all that talk about the gross immorality of America behaving like an Imperial Power...about how wrong it was for us to "impose" democracy on the Iraqis "against their will" (notwithstanding several free elections in which they braved gunfire and explosions to get to the polls)?
You can forget all about it. That was then.
This is now. What's important is Order.
People don't mind being oppressed by their own government. There's a certain predictability in the knowledge that murder, rapine, and torture will be meted out efficiently by someone with a proven track record. Someone who can make the trains run on time. Introduce democracy into the mix and before you know it, people start getting the idea that only criminals and terrorists engage in this kind of behavior.
Besides, the behavior of a minority of Iraqis clearly shows that they are not ready to be trusted with dangerous ideas like "freedom" and "responsibility". No, this is really for their own good.
After all, we here in America know what is best for them. A few elections do not a democracy make, and we cannot afford to be overly respectful of cheap, shabby displays of popular sentiment by third-stringers who clearly don't understand what the words on our Declaration really mean.
The adults are in charge, now, and they're ready to govern.
Posted by Cassandra at November 27, 2006 08:49 AM
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Comments
After reading your essay about Commandant Rangel, I wondered if your would touch Commissar Chait in the same day. Talk about your accountability of the fourth estate!!
I can still remember when Comrade Chait denounced Fuhrer Bush in a touching soliloquy, something like "Ten Things That Make Me Hate That Icky Bush!"
Kudos, lady, you're on top of your game. It's like a frickin' turkey shoot out there.
Posted by: Don Brouhaha at November 27, 2006 11:45 AM
Yes, this seems to be their latest mantra in their quest to prove how, "wrong," we were to invade Iraq:
"There was, 'order,' in Iraq under Saddam."
Never mind the torture, never mind those hundreds of thousands of people in the mass graves...move along, nothing to see here. Things are worse, now.
What a load...
Posted by: JannyMae at November 27, 2006 12:00 PM
It's like a frickin' turkey shoot out there.
It is surprising to see so many turkeys out there this soon after Thanksgiving.
Posted by: Princess Leia in a Cheese Danish Bikini at November 27, 2006 12:54 PM
"Restoring the expectation of order in Iraq will take some kind of large-scale psychological shock." - Jonathan Chait
I wonder where he learned that lesson of "order"?
From "Mein Kampf" or Howard Zinn?
Does Chait have a degree in "psychology", or has he been staying at a Holiday Inn Express lately??
Just axin', ya know??
PS. No cheese Danish for you!!
Posted by: Don Brouhaha, cheese Danish Nazi!! at November 27, 2006 03:30 PM
I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express this weekend! Does that mean I'm smarter than Chait?
Posted by: Cassandra at November 27, 2006 04:01 PM
Well, that sorta begs the question: "How smart if Jonathan Chait?" (play 'Final Jeopardy' theme music)
Frankly, bringing back Saddam Hussein WOULD unite Iraq,....AGAINST US! Jonah Goldberg linked to someone who apoligized for Chait (it's all satire!), but sounds a bit like apple-polishing to me. And I also think that Jonah G. READS VC, based on asides he makes from time to time. Probably found you through The Donovan and "Castle Arrrrgh!"
He's (Chait) got a great day job at TNR, but, well, Paul Krugman has the same sorta job at the NY Times. :) So, there you go!
Maybe he should start his own blog and we can see just how smart he is?? :D
Jonathan Chait, smart guy (doh!), but less smart than others (like say, Cassandra, Mark Steyn and spd rdr? And just where in h - e - double - hockey - sticks is THAT rascal?).
Posted by: Don Brouhaha at November 27, 2006 04:40 PM
Oh, I have a feeling he is lurking somewhere just out of the glare of the headlights.... :p
It's not easy being an international man of mystery.
Posted by: Cassandra at November 27, 2006 05:00 PM
We can bring order to Iraq like Saddam did. Just don't complain when we opress, torture and kill on the whim anyone who speaks in an order threatening manner.
Posted by: KJ at November 27, 2006 09:38 PM
I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express this weekend! Does that mean I'm smarter than Chait?
Posted by: Cassandra at November 27, 2006 04:01 PM
Only if you are wearing your cheese danish bikini.
Posted by: unkawill at November 29, 2006 02:56 PM