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November 17, 2006

Vibrate For World Peace!

Brisbane.jpgThe half vast editorial staff awoke this morning racked with paroxysms of shame for having participated in that horrible FlailEx which supposedly raised $204,096.07 in blood money for our poor brainwashed, murdering troops. How can we ever atone for such insensitivity to the natural rhythms of the Biosphere? What kind of example have we, as Multizens, set for Gaia's Children? But suddenly then it hit us with more force than an OhMiBod iPod Vibrator (no I am *not* going to link to it):

...the First Annual Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace, leading up to the December Solstice of 2012, when the Mayan Calendar ends with a new beginning.

The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. Now that there are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti- submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW! Read more about the fleet buildup here.

The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high- energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.

The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.

Not since we last tripped to the earth jam have we felt so close to
the Eternal Feminine. Having pondered these things in our hearts, we are more firmly convinced than ever that war is not the answer. The Humyn Race can and must firmly close the bedroom door on narrow minded thinking and, in one sheet-ripping, earth shattering, full on climax of raw pulsing sexual energy synchronistically vibrate its way to the end of Negative Thoughts!

desert_pink.gifAfter all, rational thinkers know that fighting wars for peace makes just about as much sense as like screwing your way to virginity, so let's turn the old ways of thinking on their heads and screw our way to Peace! Just thinking about all this positive energy is making us positively tingly down there! Or maybe we're just feeling a bit of a draft.

What we do know is that there are powerful forces at work for good in the Multiverse. Out in San Francisco, the transgendered pinniped community has risen up to protest the military industrial complex. With all Gaia's children united against hate and intolerance, can the New Age be far behind?

Update: Aiiieee! Linda came before me! Rude wench!

Posted by Cassandra at November 17, 2006 08:44 AM

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Comments

MY EYES! AIEEE!!!

Posted by: camojack at November 17, 2006 10:36 AM

Not an appealing woman in the bunch...sigh.

If you're going to show nekkid wymin at least show purty ones.

Posted by: Joatmoaf at November 17, 2006 10:41 AM

Oh Cass, I think I'm going to be sick.

Posted by: Stacy at November 17, 2006 10:45 AM

I need a cigarette!

Posted by: vet66 at November 17, 2006 10:49 AM

Speechless...

Posted by: Carrie at November 17, 2006 10:51 AM

The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace.

I thought I was already doing this, but then I realized the subtle difference between concentrating on peace and concentrating on getting another piece.

Like I said, it's subtle but there is a difference.

Posted by: Daveg at November 17, 2006 11:00 AM

To paraphrase from "When Harry Met Sally,"

-I'll have what they're having.

Posted by: jpr at November 17, 2006 11:06 AM

"Rude wench!"

Ha! You say that like its a bad thing!

Posted by: LindaSoG at November 17, 2006 11:06 AM

Those people should be embarrassed by they way they are (un)dressed.

As for the World Orgasm I would say the ends justifies the means.

Posted by: man riding unicycle naked at November 17, 2006 11:27 AM

Do I understand correctly that this is meant to be coordinated to the second? That's a level of self-control one rarely expects from a bunch of hippies.

Posted by: Grim at November 17, 2006 11:41 AM

Sex
Drugs
No responsibilities

3 things near and dear to any hippys heart and when combined will cause all hippies to become an efficiently coordinated machine of wastefulness.

Posted by: Joatmoaf at November 17, 2006 11:56 AM

What I love are the white sox on the wench to the left.

Posted by: Cassandra at November 17, 2006 12:49 PM

She'd been walking around barefoot for the last three weeks and didn't want her dirty feet shown in the photo, ergo the sox.

Posted by: Joatmoaf at November 17, 2006 01:02 PM

Not since Woodstock has there been such an outpouring of love. I will unyte with my systern and brethyrn in this global orgy, but
we will be a party of two. More fun and we can concentrate on each other.

I am sure the blogosphere will understand if we don't share the titillating details of our
tryst...

And there is something about a pink jock that just sort of makes me hork.

Posted by: Crycket at November 17, 2006 01:34 PM

a fleet buildup...sounds like foreplay.

Posted by: ContrarianBug at November 17, 2006 01:36 PM

Sychronized Global Orgasm?

Practice, practice, practice.

Or
to quote Gov. LePantomaine:
"Work! Work! Work!"

My work is NEVER done.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at November 17, 2006 03:36 PM

You know you're pretty darn desperate to lose your virginity when you have to think of something like this to get some.

Posted by: Masked Menace at November 17, 2006 03:58 PM

'Thou Shalt Not Kill' on the backs of pro choice
womyn. Cheeky wenches. Photoshopped targets, anyone? Giant missiles resembling phalluses
with 'incoming' on them? The captions are endless. G'wan. You know you wanna.

Posted by: Cricket at November 17, 2006 04:17 PM

OMG, I think I'm gonna hurl!

I read about the 22-DEC cosmic O event on a UK IT blog (thankfully they did not post pics) and initially thought it was just the Brits making sport of the colonials again...and then I realized that this is real and that there are too many who take this seriously (and if the picture is any indication of their collective physical wherewithal, they are in serious need of diet and exercise)!

Then I read about some whack-job (no pun intended) in Wisconsin who was arrested for doing the nasty with a dead deer. Apparently this is a repeat offender who shot a horse in order to have a big night of whoopie.

Suddenly all the pieces start to fit and for the first time I must consider that due to this lunatic infestation we very probably are doomed... unless they are sterile!

Posted by: bthun at November 17, 2006 07:24 PM

No, be fearless. Cricket is right -- these are pro-choice wome(y)n, and so their fertility is of no concern. Nor, indeed, is that of men who choose to couple with deer -- to say nothing of dead deer.

We do, though, need to license polygamy. It's important that virile men of the Old Fashion be able to take these young ladies in hand. Hard to do while you've already a wife, and are limited to one! But I think I could put a few more to rights, and I don't doubt my fellows to be similarly capable.

Posted by: Grim at November 17, 2006 07:40 PM

I read this story over at Tanker Brothers and just had to share it with the H/V readership.

Enjoy, Unkawill.


Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Teen bugler honours Veterans
In Anchorage, Alaska, a 15 year old honours veterans by volunteering to play a bugle at their funerals:

On the day they buried Beecher Pierce, Nichelle Cushing stood at parade rest in a cold, pounding rain, some hundred yards from the coffin. High-top, lace-up boots slightly apart. A black beret cocked with formal precision on her hair. A small American flag pinned near the neck of her long black dress. One hand behind her back, the other gripping a 105-year-old bugle.

This young woman is part of a group called Bugles Across America. BAA makes sure that as often as possible, military funerals are given a live bugle playing the traditional 'lights out'. As a little girl, Nichelle watched a military funeral where there was no live bugle music, but recorded music instead. According to the story - (you can read the rest in the Anchorage Daily News, )
the mechanical music offended Nichelle. She was so determined to right this wrong that she went and found herself a Civil War era bugle, and at 11 years old became the youngest member of BAA.

That situation occurs with increasing frequency as mortality catches up with Americans who fought in World War II, Korea and Vietnam. More than 683,000 veterans passed away last year.


Federal law says that every veteran is entitled to a live bugler wherever one is available. That is where Bugles Across America comes in. In 2000 the group was founded and now has 5000 members, including 18 in Alaska.

The 18 in Alaska all have day jobs, and receive no pay for playing the bugle at military funerals.

Gene Horner, state director in Anchorage, says that the BAA buglers play at about 100 funerals a year. Perfection in playing is not the main focus, but rather that the 24 notes are played with

"with grace and style,"...Even at President Kennedy's funeral, a professional bugler famously "cracked" a note.

To Horner, a cracked note doesn't deflect from the reverence with which buglers perform this most solemn of duties. To him,


"I'd rather hear a live bugler crack a note than a recording anytime -- because it's coming from someone's heart."

To anyone who knows Nichelle Cushing, it is obvious where her heart lies. Nichelle's father is in Iraq right now. Her father, Staff Sgt. Thomas Cushing of the Army's 98th Maintenance Company, is on his third deployment there.

To Nichelle, with a hero father, any time she plays at a funeral is a labour of love, of service.
For no pay at all, Nichelle stands out in all weathers and plays her bugle as a sign of respect for veterans, oftentimes strangers to her.

Horber explains that Nichelle does get school credit for her playing, but no cash.

"I wouldn't turn down money," Nichelle said. "But no one's ever offered. And I never charge.

"I do get a lot of hugs, though."

At a time when some are decrying the youth of America, this teenager shows that there IS hope for the country. As long as young people are willing to step forward and give all honour and respect due to our war heroes, America still has a bright future. As young people of America ask 'what can I do for my country?', and offer to serve - both at home and overseas, there is still room for optimism in America. I have faith and hope!

h/t to Mary*Ann for this story


brat

Posted by: unkawill at November 17, 2006 08:27 PM

Aiiieee! Linda came before me!

Dang! It was supposed to be synchronized!

Posted by: Joel at November 21, 2006 07:20 PM

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