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June 16, 2007

What Is It With The Noticing????

sifl.jpg So.

The blog princess leaps from betwixt the marital sheets to greet rosy finger'd dawn with her usual alacrity only to find half the blogosphere wallowing in a vile orgy of noticing He Who Must Never Be Noticed.


She felt the first vague stirrings of alarm yesterday, but dismissed it as an attack of the vapors:

I don't pay attention to what Sock Puppet says either, but since it made InstaPundit...

But by morning the Insanity had spread, causing her to inhale half her first cup of coffee:

Glenn Greenwald Calls Instapundit A Faggot

No, I'm not kidding. Cut through the torturous verbosity of Greewaldese -- which is similar to English, just not as vital or vigorous -- and you basically have Greenwald calling Reynolds a queer.

As he calls most men on the right. Some named -- Jonah Goldberg, Victor Davis Hansen, Joe Lieberman -- and the rest implied.

How refreshing to see Glenn finally coming out of the closet.

The whole good Glenn/evil Glenn thing was becoming quite tiresome, and no one really bought it anyway. The thing is, girlfriend, if all you want to do is dish on your opponents, why not go straight for the capillary instead of forcing your readers to wade through reams of poorly written, quasi-intellectual blather?

That's what people come here for. But on the extremely rare occasion when the princess stoops to the insult direct rather than confining her discussion to the merits, she doesn't pretend to be engaged in some high minded exposition of whether deontological justification has a tendency to epistemize a rational belief system.

She just apologizes and moves on.

Normally it is customary around here to denounce fellow bloggers for Untoward Noticing of The Greenwald, but when they insist on deconstructing the fellow so hilariously it's hard to summon the required levels of outrage. Ace is just... oh, just go read it all. Too funny and too raw to excerpt here.

The eminently-denouncable Patterico also deigns to notice the sock puppet in the context of a priceless Althouse takedown of the same ludicrous Greenwald post. Like Patterico, the princess hopes she never manages to annoy Ms. Althouse. She is just too good at what she does:

...the criticism of Greenwald’s deadly and overwrought prose is just so well done. In fact, it was so much fun to read, I’m tempted to start making fun of his prose on a daily basis myself. The only thing holding me back is the realization that somebody could probably do it to me too . . .

Althouse is devastatingly funny as she deftly pricks Glenn's overwrought bubble:

During the last week, when I was traveling, I spent substantial time driving in a rental car...

Glenn G can't say "last week." It's got to be "during the last week." He can't say "a long time," he has to say "substantial time."

...and thus had the opportunity to listen for large chunks of time to The Rush Limbaugh Show...

You know, Glenn G can't just "listen" to the radio, he has to have "the opportunity to listen" to the radio. So you listened to the radio? Who cares if it was last week and the car was a rental car and you were not only driving you were also traveling? It's like his little heart leaps every time he sees the opportunity to lard in a few more words, like a schoolboy assigned to write a 500-word essay.

But finally he gets to his point, which is that right-wingers are always lording it over the lefties that they are mas macho.

...Let's translate that last paragraph from Glennwaldese to plain English: No, you guys are wimps.

This is notable not merely because this pervasive and insecure craving for artificial masculinity supplants rational and substantive political considerations, though it does do that. Nor is it notable merely because it is so unpleasant, even cringe-inducing to behold, though it is that, too. Instead, this topic is unavoidable, really at the center of our political discourse, because it leads directly to some of our most significant and controversial political decisions.

Glennwaldese to English: Thinking about masculinity is emotional and we shouldn't be emotional about politics.

Why write in Glennwaldese? It's a way of making the obvious look less obvious and giving off the air of intelligence... which doesn't smell like English Leather. (It's English Leather -- a men's cologne -- not "English leather" as Glenn has it up there.)


Perhaps all this Noticing isn't such a bad thing after all.

Posted by Cassandra at June 16, 2007 08:13 AM

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Gay/Queer/Faggot or not, I hear from reliable sources that Glen puts puppies in a blender and drinks the results for breakfast.
That in itself is enough for me.
He's my kinda guy.
(In a totally non-sexual, He-Man sort of way you understand).

Posted by: Joatmoaf at June 16, 2007 03:24 PM

The Glenwald Sockpuppetplex is ill equipped to cross swords with Glen Reynolds or Ann Althouse

Posted by: Mark at June 16, 2007 06:40 PM

Actually I always rather preferred the Sullivanesque technique of claiming that any link to a blogger who argues in favor of keeping Gitmo open is an endorsement of the most foul torture techniques.... as though Reynolds never links to anything he disagrees with.

The thought that if you accept this line of 'reasoning' Glenwald himself is a gay-hating reichwing fascist never seems to trouble his uniquely one dimensional view of the universe.

Posted by: Princess Leia in a Cheese Danish Bikini at June 17, 2007 11:20 AM

Because, you realize, there is never an opportunity to listen to Limbaugh unless you drive a rental.

Greenwald pays his ego by the word.

Posted by: Tully at June 17, 2007 12:20 PM

Only more amusing than the tsunami of Adolph Greenwald hate that has swept the internet would be a Flivrvision minute-by-minute map of the loud "hurrahs" that swept the globe after Althouse posted her vivisection of Glenn.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who otherwise finds it offensive to notice this man.


Posted by: H Lime at June 17, 2007 12:30 PM

Technically I probably should have denounced Ms. Althouse for noticing him but after reading her takedown of Greenwald, frankly I'm terrified!

Posted by: Princess Leia in a Cheese Danish Bikini at June 17, 2007 12:38 PM

Actually, the funniest takedown of Glenwald I have seen is Wuzzadem


I would be delighted to see James Lileks take a shot at Glenwald, were I a troublemaker.

The divine Ms. Althouse's takedown is funny in a professorial way that probably really landed on target, a very sensitive psyche.

Glenwald: guilty as charged - turgid prose etc.

Sentence: to be handcuffed to Andrew Sullivan for a year. Heh.

Posted by: Mark at June 17, 2007 05:23 PM

After InstaPundit notices something, there's little additional harm caused by Althouse noticing it. I think her readership and his overlap to a great degree.

As for me, I only have 150 readers who drop in from day to day. My noticing something, or not, isn't going to be the straw that breaks anyone's back. :)

Posted by: Grim at June 17, 2007 06:06 PM

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