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March 17, 2008

For Grim :)

Who has been entertaining me with bawdy songs today: 10 ways to get kicked off a plane

This one seemed apt:


SING ABOUT FOOTBALLERS’ UNDERWEAR

After a fine win over Cardiff last year, fans of Sunderland AFC boarded an EasyJet flight in buoyant mood and sang the praises of their chairman in time-honoured terrace fashion. In case you’re not a regular at the Stadium of Light, the lyrics, to the tune of ’Ere We Go, ’Ere We Go, ’Ere We Go, are as follows:

“Niall Quinn’s disco pants are the best.
They go up from his arse to his chest.
They’re better than Adam and the Ants,
Niall Quinn’s disco pants.”

EasyJet staff, unused to Wearside poetry, called the police and had all 100 fans thrown off. Quinn himself shelled out £8,000 for taxis to get them home.

Though I rather liked this one, too:

BLOCK THE EMERGENCY EXIT WITH A HUGE STUFFED CROCODILE

Update: More Great Moments in British Journalism:

Sex toads force road closure

More than 2,000 lust-driven toads yesterday forced the closure of a road.

Look - it's not as though you can get this kind of hot toad-on-toad action breaking news just anywhere, people.

Posted by Cassandra at March 17, 2008 02:23 PM

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Comments

"Look - it's not as though you can get this kind of {hot toad-on-toad action} breaking news just anywhere, people."

Not to mention naked men wearing gas masks.

Posted by: Sly2017 at March 17, 2008 04:24 PM

"Hot toad on toad action?"

Has it come to this, then? Is Villainous Company to be nothing more than just another bufonidae-bordello shamlessly hypying the hedonistic highjinx of hopelessly horny hoppers? At last, Princess, have you left not one shred of decency? I thought you were into frogs?

Posted by: spd rdr at March 17, 2008 04:24 PM

Frogs are slimy.

Toads are dry and cool to the touch...unlike naked men wearing gas masks, which you'll kindly note I did *not* link to...

Posted by: I Hate to Say I *Toad* You So.... at March 17, 2008 05:04 PM

No, you didn't, but I did....
heh
0>;~}

Posted by: Sly2017 at March 17, 2008 07:01 PM

I agree with the Times: Style rating 11 for the guy who shelled out eight thousand pounds for the taxis for his friends, rather than stop singing bawdy songs with his 100 best friends. "What a guy!"

Posted by: Grim at March 17, 2008 11:51 PM

Well, I know that disco pants will just make a toad horny.

Posted by: I Okay the powder at March 18, 2008 09:37 PM

Why can't the toads be taught to read?

Why did the toad cross the road?

He would be sure to get laid!

Posted by: MoreIokaythepowder at March 18, 2008 09:41 PM

"Why did the toad cross the road?"

Oh that's easy! To show the possum it could be done!
I thought everyone knew that.

Posted by: Snarkammando at March 19, 2008 03:00 AM

I will never eat 'toad-in-the-hole' again.

Posted by: Dread Justice Roberta at March 19, 2008 08:12 AM

Tastes like chicken?

Posted by: Larry at March 19, 2008 08:58 AM

Heh. Nope, it is a typical British comfort food of sausages baked in either dough or batter.

Something my mother taught us about but wisely didn't feed us simply because it is
greasy unless you cook the sausages first.

The closest thing we have to it here is 'pigs in a blanket.' Much tastier and much healthier.

Posted by: Dread Justice Roberta at March 19, 2008 01:37 PM

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