« Guess The Party? | Main | A Suspension of Contempt »

April 15, 2008

Rant of the Day

Via Kathleen Parker:

Priceless. Just priceless.

Posted by Cassandra at April 15, 2008 08:01 AM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.villainouscompany.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/2096

Comments

Must. Not. listen. To. Reason.

Quick, give me some Obama!

Posted by: spd rdr at April 15, 2008 09:57 AM

SILENCE, FOOL!!!

Do not have the audacity to question the hope I bring! I am the change you seek!

Posted by: Barack Obama at April 15, 2008 10:14 AM

ObamaOn® apply directly to your desperation...

ObamaOn® apply directly to your desperation...

ObamaOn® apply directly to your desperation...

ObamaOn® is a new and innovative way of treating hopelessness and despair without rationality, reality, responsibility or personal accountability.

ObamaOn® is applied directly to the optic and auditory nerve centers bypassing left-brain (oddly enough) for FAST and EFFECTIVE relief. Colorless only during certain presentations and is non-sticky upon application, rather oily actually, but it does not interfere with makeup. In some cases makeup is enhanced by taking on the attributes of the surrounding environment.

ObamaOn® comes in a practical roll-on-by the frustrated, unwashed masses dispenser small enough to fit easily into a shady piece of real estate. Whether at home, work or on the move, you can easily and conveniently apply ObamaOn® to dispel your irrational hopelessness.

Face your deamons with courage, conviction and resolve with ObamaOn® anytime, anywhere.**

** Except on Fox News... or Michigan voting booths, or Florida voting booths, or in the presence of crazy low-income, religious, gun-totin', frustrated and therefore bat-guano crazy white people... or the Middle East, or Korea, or...


Posted by: Hollerin' Dean at April 15, 2008 10:59 AM

Salvation! And not a moment to soon...

''Just because you're mad, just because it seems like nobody is listening to ordinary Americans, that's not a reason to give up hope,'' Obama told the Building Trades National Legislative Conference. ''You get mad and then you decide you're going to change it. If you're not angry about something you're going to sit back and let it happen to you. If you're only angry, you don't feel hopeful, and you won't get the energy to change it. I'm mad, but I'm also hopeful.''

It's tough being everything to everyone! That's why I'm drunk, but I'm also sober!

Posted by: spd rdr at April 15, 2008 11:43 AM

I'd seen another of this guy's "rants" about Islam before. I see he has lots of little videos posted. Wish I could take the time to watch some more of them. How long before someone makes charges of "hate speech" against him??? Even though he's just speaking the truth...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at April 15, 2008 11:45 AM

Hollerin Dean -

Please send me a case of ObamaOn®.

Absolutely inspired.

Posted by: MathMom at April 15, 2008 01:51 PM

Isn't the Muslim grocery clerk who refuses to handle alcohol at the check-out stand a bit like the pharmacist who refuses to fill prescriptions for contraception at the drug store? Just askin' ya know.

Posted by: Gad the Fly at April 15, 2008 02:02 PM

Thanks Math Mom...

For a small, bundled campaign contribution from you and your 58 relatives delivered in an aluminum foil lined, plain brown wrapper provided by William Jefferson Import/Export Industries Inc., a case of ObamaOn® will be on it's way to you.

A word of caution, ObamaOn® has been know to induce anomalous effects in a small percentage, 93%, of the user community. So consult your Criminal Defense Attorney before answering any questions or making any statements.

Posted by: Hollerin Dean at April 15, 2008 02:08 PM

I'd seen another of this guy's "rants" about Islam before. I see he has lots of little videos posted. Wish I could take the time to watch some more of them. How long before someone makes charges of "hate speech" against him??? Even though he's just speaking the truth...

He might reach someone outside the choir if he stuck with the comments on the idiocy of hyperactive-political-correctness and toned down the actual "rant" at the end about living in tents and sleeping with camels.

Posted by: The Officious Intermeddler at April 15, 2008 02:48 PM

Bah, I do not hear the words of infidel idolaters! I will respond to this blasphemer in the time-honored tradition of islamic debate -- a beheading! Nothing presents the worth and power of your counterpoint quite like severing the head, or at least limbs, of your opponent!

Of course Muslims are oppressed! You heretic dogs are forever trying to stop us from our favorite pastimes: wanton slaughter! You say we cannot kill innocent women and children, cannot kill Jews, cannot relax and let off some steam with an honor killing or two. Preventing us from screaming: "KILL! KILL! ALLAH! KILL! KILL!" strikes at the very heart of what we are all about!

Your principles of fairness and tolerance demand that you surrender to us! You must be open-minded and accept our intolerance!

We have also been unfairly portrayed in the infidel West! We are receptive to many different approaches! We now accept killing of infidels by bombs, knives, guns, icepicks, lawn darts, testical electrocution, disemboweling, shoes, scissors, biting, poison, overwhelming body stench, and the Holy Trifecta of nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons! We are not just restricted to beheadings and stonings anymore!

We are the Religion of Peace, and we will keep killing everyone who disagrees with us until this Peace is achieved! Salaam!

Posted by: a former european at April 15, 2008 03:15 PM

Holy Burkha! Had my turban in such a twist, forgot to say who I was!

am Mullah Moqtada Moolay Hossein bin Jamaal

Posted by: a former european at April 15, 2008 03:23 PM

Priceless. Absolutely priceless.

Sounds like me as a parent - I don't want to be reasoned with, just obeyed. I must be an Islamofascist parent.


"bigoted, mysogynistic, ignoramuses" - BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted by: Islamofascist Parent at April 15, 2008 03:30 PM

Your, Honor. I must ask that that the court strike from the record any reference by my client to "lawn darts." As the Court well knows, "lawn darts" have been banned from sale in these United States, having been deemed to be dangerous weapons in the hands of children and drunks. Respectfully, your Honor, my client is neither.

Posted by: spd rdr at April 15, 2008 03:34 PM

am Mullah Moqtada Moolay Hossein bin Jamaal.

Hmmmm,....are you related to Mullah Tada Yada Yada? Perhaps somewhere along the lines of the stoning of his fifteenth cousin's cousin by carnage on his great-grandmother's donkey's neighbor's aunt's side?
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 15, 2008 03:40 PM

And his mother is Yoda.

Posted by: Pinkt Turbaned One at April 15, 2008 04:00 PM

"Hmmmm,....are you related to Mullah Tada Yada Yada? Perhaps somewhere along the lines of the stoning of his fifteenth cousin's cousin by carnage on his great-grandmother's donkey's neighbor's aunt's side?"
My client did not have relations with that... donkey?! Ewe!!! [wags finger at monitor] And Mullah Moqtada Moolay Hossein bin Jamaal Al SanitationPlant will be taking no questions on his involvement in politics, Radio Shack Sale Days events, fertilizer soaked in diesel muʻumuʻu's found in his apartment, or Semtex Lawn Darts...

My client is an outstanding citizen who has nothing further to say!

Posted by: Ramsey Clarke at April 15, 2008 04:15 PM

Explains everything, that does.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 15, 2008 04:15 PM

No, no, no! Not donkeys. GOATS. Sheesh.


Baa...oh, no. Wait. That's sheep.


Aw hell.

Posted by: HomefrontSix at April 15, 2008 04:34 PM

Abusing Islam is like shooting fish in a barrel, or watching Obamoron put both feet in his ignorant bigoted mouth. The video is funny. Actually ZipperFish has some hilarious Mo bashing. Definitely not safe for work

http://www.zipperfish.com/toons/yaafm/yaafm-12-muslims/

BTW how did Mr. rdr wind up bombed playing with lawn darts?

Posted by: Mark at April 15, 2008 05:30 PM

You all are ridiculous :)

Posted by: Cassandra at April 15, 2008 06:27 PM

BTW how did Mr. rdr wind up bombed [and] playing with lawn darts?

...and just how, exactly, is that any different from any other day around this place?

Posted by: Cassandra at April 15, 2008 06:30 PM

You have me confused with

Posted by: spd rdr at April 15, 2008 07:00 PM

DAMN THOSE LAWN DARTS!!!

I knew one of them would get him in the end.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 15, 2008 07:05 PM

SPD!!!!!!

COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!

Posted by: Cassandra at April 15, 2008 07:06 PM

Mullah Moqtada Moolay Hossein bin Jamaal Al SanitationPlant has an alibi regarding the disappearance of his co-defense attorney Mr. Rdr. He has been at his Certified Used Camelus dromedarius lot & 72 Semi-sullied Virgin's Escort Service all afternoon.

Posted by: Ramsey Clarke at April 15, 2008 07:30 PM

By the Beard of the Prophet (pbuh)! Must I take time from busy day of slaughtering innocents to answer questions from infidel dogs?

Had long, but satisfying day at work today. Began, as usual, at jihadi weapons arsenal, AKA Islamic Holy Site. Gathered up much plastic explosive "offerings". Allah, being God of Peace, is well-pleased by offerings of weapons and things which go "boom". Anyway, went to local preschool and planted "offerings". This was not easy, as was frequently overwhelmed by religious, ecstatic fervor at thoughts of small children blown into small pieces. Praise Allah! The glory of His Work is neverending!

Afterwards, among carnage, smoke and rubble, began impromptu dance and shouting "Allah Akbar!". Soon huge crowd of fellow, peaceful muslims ran into street to join me in righteous praise of Allah, the merciful and lovingkind. Would sometime slip while dancing on toddler body part, but this is common occupational hazard. Inshallah.

Then came home to ullulating praise from women who saw blood of innocents dripping from my hands, as is proper. Then had to perform honor killing on yougest female cousin for shame of letting lock of hair be exposed from chador. By then dinner was cold, so beat eldest first and second wives thoroughly for failing wively duties. Third wife then spoke without first being spoken to, so beat her as well. she is becoming problem, that one, so maybe better to cut out her tongue next time.

Long story short, heretic defilers, have had full day. Have no patience for your false depiction of us as barbarous monsters! Gentle lambs we are! Lambs who have been driven to righteous anger by unspeakable crimes of West, like allowing Jews to live! Women to vote! Goats being given rights to say "no"! It is for you to "understand our rage", not judge us.

You may now grovel and beg our forgiveness.

-- Mullah Moqtada Moolay Hossein bin Jamaal

Posted by: a former european at April 16, 2008 02:36 AM

I quit! There has to be some jihadist out there who will shut up and let me speak to the reporters... ahh, I mean the court.

Ahh ha! Maybe Jimmy Carter can use my services?

Posted by: Ramsey Clarke at April 16, 2008 06:35 AM

AFE
I lost my Dr. Pepper over that last post of yours.

My laptop is dripping with it.

Thank yew.

Posted by: Cricket at April 16, 2008 11:19 AM

Oh...Muqtard Mutant Jamall:

Why would you want to cut out Third Wife's tongue?
Wouldn't interfere with other wifely duties?

Posted by: sharia police at April 16, 2008 11:24 AM

That's why you should cover the keyboard of your laptop with ceran wrap or plastic wrap, Cricket. Makes cleaning those keyboards and eating/drinking on them no longer a problem.

Wouldn't interfere with other wifely duties?

That's for the boy child to do.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 16, 2008 12:05 PM

Sorry for lateness of post. Was up all night beheading evil falafel vendors in Baghdad! Let the falafel vendors be tormented in hell for all eternity for their wickedness!

We jihadis have now determined, in great Synod of Mullahs, that falafel is evil because it did not exist at the time of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh). Cars and AK-47s are OK, though. Fatwas are being issued as we speak! Death to the falafel enemies of the Faith!

AAAALLLAAAAALLLLAAAALLLLLLAAALLLLAAHHHHHHH!!!!

-- Mullah Moqtada Moolay Hossein bin Jamaal

Posted by: a former european at April 16, 2008 12:29 PM

Ymar, Ymar, Ymar.... 'round these heah parts we use visqueen....not that Yankee saran wrap crap. Saves the keyboahd from the mazola oil, too.
*rolling eyes*
sheesh
Ain't ya bin payin' 'tenshun?

Posted by: DL Sly at April 16, 2008 10:53 PM

I thought you folks used pig's skin and the face skins of Jihadists to form a water tight seal?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 17, 2008 02:22 AM

No, Ymar, pigskin is only used for that most sacred of Sunday traditions -- well, ok, Saturday and Monday, too....and sometimes Thursday.

0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 17, 2008 02:57 AM

Is that halo on your smilecon beginning to slip, Sly?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 17, 2008 03:18 PM

Nope. It's been impaled on the horns and topped off with Gorilla Glue. A hurricane couldn't dislodge that sucker.
heh

Posted by: DL Sly at April 17, 2008 06:13 PM

What about the Left's Hurricane of Disbelief? Certainly a storm of such magnitude, capable of sweeping away all patriotic thought and emotion, could threaten to dislodge that sucker?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 17, 2008 09:10 PM

You used Gorilla Glue on that tiara? I always figured it was a solar collector/charger for your troll tazer.

Hey, don't taz me sis!

Posted by: bthun bailbondsman in training at April 17, 2008 09:22 PM

Ymar,
With apologies to the Bard:
"The Liberal Left is but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing."
I am the wife of United Stated Marine, and the finest man I've ever had the honor to know. No, there is nothing the Left's Hurricane of Disbelief can throw at me that I cannot withstand, for I do not stand alone.

And besides, Gorilla Glue is pretty damn good stuff -- even the instructions tell ya that after it's dry you need a chisel to scrape off any overflow.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 17, 2008 10:52 PM

Truth be told, my friend, The Hun, (My friend The Hun. Oh, I like the sound of that!) 'tis the only way I could get it to sit properly on the tips of the horns. Do you have any idea how hard it is to impale a halo on the tips of horns without the halo sliding off all cock-eyed? And my troll tazer is always charged, although sometimes a beer or three helps me to better zero in on the target.
heh
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 17, 2008 10:55 PM

No, there is nothing the Left's Hurricane of Disbelief can throw at me that I cannot withstand, for I do not stand alone.

Those with roots sunk to mankind and earth's core, stands the test of time. Storms not much after that to a tree the caliber of a Yggdrasil.

Bt's comment was pretty funny about the tazer. Although, technically, you don't need a tazer to knock a troll out. You just need to apply basic Target Focus Training principles and the physics of gravity and mass.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 18, 2008 03:27 PM

They called Attilla the Hun the "Scourge of God", probably because all the prayers of the Pope and the Christians in Italy couldn't get rid of that sucker. That is, until the Pope paid Attila a visit and days after that, Attila died.

Thus was the Western Roman Empire's fall completed and the rise of the Catholic Church pre-ordained.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 18, 2008 03:30 PM

Target Focusing Principle:
#1) Place finger lightly on triggering mechanism of the ABNL/OZ-12fl Focusing Apparatus.
#2) Slowly pull finger backwards on triggering mechanism until pressure charge of ABNL/OZ-12fl Focusing Apparatus has been released.
Note: In a properly maintained ABNL/OZ-12fl Focusing Apparatus, this will produce a slight *pshish* sound.
#3) Once pressure charge has been released, firmly pull triggering mechanism into full back position followed immediately by the return of the triggering mechanism into it's original position.
#4)Grasp ABNL/OZ-12fl Focusing Apparatus confidently in hand, bend arm at elbow joint and bring Apparatus quickly, yet carefully, to mouth.
#5)Tip ABNL/OZ-12fl Focusing Apparatus gently toward mouth allowing Focusing Fuel to pour slowly over teeth and tongue until personal oral cavity capacities are achieved.
#6) Utilizing swallowing action, allow Focusing Fuel to descend down the esophagus into the stomach.
#7) Repeat as necessary until required number of ABNL/OZ-12fl Focusing Apparatuses have been fired.
#8) Having achieved full Target Focusing Principle principles, engage troll.

0>:~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 18, 2008 07:14 PM

Cute, very cute, Sly.

I linked to this service before and what I've seen of their DVDs is pretty good stuff.

Link

The advertisement rhetoric, like at Matt Furey's site, is hilarious. I like the new video guides though, much more professional.

This might be a fun and useful thing for you and your Marine husband to practice with, if you don't have something similar in the works already.

Haven't you ever wanted to throw him clear across the room? ; )

The Joint Breaking series with Dutch being the fall guy was pretty harsh with the various falls and what not.


In all seriousness, TFT answered a lot of my questions concerning violence, human society, and the effects of violence on the human body.

It is perfectly in line with the US Marine Corps philosophy that the deadliest weapon around is a Marine Corps rifleman. Or in this case, perhaps a Marine Corps wife?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 18, 2008 08:26 PM

Psueudo code to complement DL Sly’s Target Focus in 8 simple steps


#include <kegs.h>

#include <ice_chest.h>

#include <assorted-iced-bottled-brew.h>

#include <Case of Jose Cuervo.h>

#include <straws.h>


int main (int argc, char *argv[])

{

int standing = 1; /* initial state */


for(;standing;) /* party while able to stand...*/

{
#7(Target_Focus); /* repeat step #'s 1-6 */

Cheers!; /* a toast */

}/* loop breaks out at appropriate point... trust me */

} /* and call a cab and/or a medic */

/* ZZZZZZIIIIIPPPPPtttttt THUD! Another one bites the dust. */

/* Compiler 3 sheets and 4 Moulson Ice in the breeze... not responsible for preprocessor belching.*/

Commence Friday noise!


Cheers!

Posted by: bt_on_round 7 or 8_hun at April 18, 2008 09:22 PM

Ahhh noise take 2...

Posted by: bt_on_round 7 or 8_hun at April 18, 2008 09:24 PM

"Haven't you ever wanted to throw him clear across the room? ; )"

Um, no.

But, seriously, I've been fighting this way -- when push comes to "You won't be having children soon." -- since high school, having been the beneficiary of a PE teacher/coach who believed that women should be able to defend themselves at all times.

Posted by: DL Sly at April 18, 2008 09:36 PM

Posted by: DL Sly at April 18, 2008 09:44 PM

Oh! There's a toast in there! I see that there has been sufficient application of Focusing Fuel to allow me to, well, focus on your code. I know I'm in trouble when I actually begin to read and understand code again.
*sigh*

So..... a toast:
Here's to Eve,
Mother of the races.
Who wore her leaves
In all the right places.
And here's to Adam,
Father of us all.
Who was always there,
When the leaves would fall.

Cheers!
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 18, 2008 11:42 PM

Whew, morning after… I fought the ice-chest and the ice-chest won. I could sure use some ObamaOn®.

"I know I'm in trouble when I actually begin to read and understand code again."
Heheh, it's getting on towards 10 years now since I've had much to do with coding. Not a barn-burner of a past time for the purpose of generating excitement, but your target focus principles begged for some automation in the energy drink steps.

Had I my bonafide recollective wits about me at the time, I should have declared #7 an entry point into your Target_Focus function, which struck me as a condition handler with real attitude inducing a Bluto Blutarsky meets Chuck Norris channeling episode.

But it's now a new day. So it's time to crack open the firearms safe, read some Scripture, taken my morning Xenophobia for Dummies chapter 666 progress assessment test and concentrate on hopeless, never-changing bitterness with a smirk on my face. Bitterness that drives me away from the party of the people - Equus asinus, aka Democrat Party... Sheesh, all that tumultuous internalized turmoil. Never being part of a major media opinion poll, or being asked to donate to the Hope and Change effort, or even being selected to serve on a jury! Do ya think it's due to my muttering guillotine, guillotine repeatedly while waiting to be questioned by the attorneys and da judge? *Sigh*

Oh good, the workers overhauling my house are here. It’s time to go abuse the labor force. Grim and Eric have declared me to be management based on my oversight of the work and coffee supply, AND that I write the checks, so I’d best go live up to my new station in life. Now where is that ISO 9000:2000 cattle-prod?

Cheers!


Posted by: bt_Bluto Blutarsky_hun at April 19, 2008 08:45 AM

Ahhh... this is the rant thread, right? =;^}

Posted by: bt_Bluto Blutarsky_hun at April 19, 2008 08:45 AM

Yep! I would rant at the weather right now, but since I had originally planned to move sandpiles for a neighbor and the weather just plain isn't too conducive to such an activity.....I'll force myself to kick back and watch Chipper and the Braves take it to Jones and Furcal (haaawk-ptoooey) of the Dodgers. I *hate* it when that happens.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 19, 2008 02:50 PM

Sounds like a plan.

Glavin is on the DL for 15 days. First time ever on the list right after he comes back to the Braves. I feel a rant approaching.

Must.go.outside.find.cattle.prod...

Posted by: bt_shakin-da-bush-Boss_hun at April 19, 2008 04:04 PM

Yeah, I know. Yet, Bobby Cox keeps the Braves in the game, in contention every year. I'm just glad it's the DL in April not August.....

Posted by: DL Sly at April 19, 2008 06:44 PM

Post a comment

To reduce comment spam, comments on older posts are put into moderation 5 days after the last activity. Comments with more than one link also go into moderation. If you don't see your comment after posting it, try refreshing the screen. If you still don't see it, your comment is probably in the moderation queue.




Remember Me?

(you may use HTML tags for style)