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June 04, 2008

Back From the Dead

Ay, caramba.

swan corner bath.jpgThe Princess, she is muy cansado. Yesterday consisted of roughly 21 hours spent staring helplessly into the Yawning Maw of Third Party Service Provider Hell.

The Blog Princess has never before had her patience raped, but the last 24 hours proved there is a first time for everything.

Fortunately there is a sovereign cure for every ill known to tech wenches. Simply find a large container, fill it with steaming hot water and nice smelling substances (nothing too perfumed or musky - it should smell like a spring garden or a fresh sea breeze), throw in a lemon verbena bath candle, a natural bristled back brush and a pretty little jar of Mediterranean sea salts (why do women of a 'certain age' suddenly go gaga and start buying Mediterranean sea salts? Whatever... they smell nice and make your skin feel heavenly) and you have the closest thing paradise on this good green earth.

At five a.m. this morning the Princess felt like putting her fist through the nearest wall, but as her shoulders sank beneath the warmly scented water, she felt all the tension seep out of her body. There is nothing like lying in the tub staring up at the trees to hit the 'reset' button of life. So what if you've had all of two hours of sleep? Grab a cup of coffee, scrub every inch of your skin until it is pink and glowing and suddenly, your problems shrink down to manageable size and the world seems like a friendly place again. Wash your hair and smooth on that conditioner that summons up memories of that unforgettable evening in the sand dunes, years ago.

Oh yeah. It's all good.

Posted by Cassandra at June 4, 2008 08:29 AM

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Comments

"21 hours spent staring helplessly into the Yawning Maw of Third Party Service Provider Hell."
My condolence. I can vaguely recall those being one of the few situations that could rival any going postal moment. Think service contract renewal... or not.

Posted by: bthun at June 4, 2008 09:09 AM

The salutory effects of a good long soak in a hot tub, whether in the morning watching the sun rise or later in the day watching the sun set, cannot be overstated.

Make it a part of your daily ritual. It is one of the best things you can do to yourself.

Posted by: vet66 at June 4, 2008 09:51 AM

re: ...going postal...

You know bthun, I have always prided myself on my Zen-like patience. Last night around 1 a.m. I just about lost it. But as vet66 so sagely stated, the effects of a long soak in a hot tub...

*sigh*

Now for another cup of coffee.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 4, 2008 10:17 AM

Heh. And I thought my recent experience was bad. My ISP went down... right before the very serious teleconference with very serious executives in NY who wanted to do very big things (I work at home). Problem is, my phone is Internet-based, they were going to call me to set up the teleconference, and all my contact info was buried on my Internet-based email.

*Cue frantic drive around town looking for businesses with wireless service (for some reason, Starbuck's wouldn't accept the credit card I grabbed on the way out the door).*

The ISP subsequently developed a burping habit over the next few days. All the "help desk" could do was tell me, "Your service is down and we're aware of that." Sad thing is, they're apparently the best of the lot available in this area.

Fortunately, they actually speak English.

Posted by: FbL at June 4, 2008 10:18 AM

Posted by: DL Sly at June 4, 2008 10:22 AM

Ok, if you're gonna soak and listen to tunes, here's a foot stomper straight outta the way-back machine. Yeee Haw. One that may have you questioning whether lousy 3rd party service providers really exist, at all... =8^}

Posted by: bthun at June 4, 2008 10:37 AM

Either that or a cold Negro Modello on the beach at Cancun (I was just there on business a few days ago. Es Pravda!). I guess they both work. The bath is probably better, because you do not have to ride on an airplane for hours with a lot of strangers.

Advantage: Cassandra!

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at June 4, 2008 10:59 AM

Oh Don, you lucky b... umm... *guy* :p

I have not seen a beach since Jamaica before the Unit went over to Baghdad.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 4, 2008 11:02 AM

Simply find a large container, fill it with steaming hot water and nice smelling substances (nothing too perfumed or musky - it should smell like a spring garden or a fresh sea breeze)

The largest containers over here are one-liter plastic bottles.

The good news is, they're already filled with steaming hot water (solar-heated, too -- we're *greeeeeen*!).

The bad news is, the fresh breezes from the north, east and south smell like dust -- the ones from the west smell like sewage-treatment facility.

The good news is, we've got a couple hundred-thousand square miles of beach.

The bad news is, you've gotta walk through Syria to get your tootsies wet...

Posted by: BillT at June 4, 2008 11:39 AM

Yes, but you have multi-colored *thongs* in the PX!

Bada boom, bada bing!

Although probably no Tuscan Sun nail polish, though I suspect that's not your shade (though it might go nicely with your red mini)...

/running like helk for the barricades

Posted by: Cassandra, feeling oddly...ummm...nevermind at June 4, 2008 11:43 AM

You can always tell when I get punchy, can't you?

Posted by: Cassandra at June 4, 2008 11:44 AM

See previous e-mail.

*owwww* Not in the ribs!

Posted by: BillT at June 4, 2008 11:55 AM

Jacuzzi jets help also. Putting your foot up the backsides of idiots all day can be tiring too. There always seems to be an endless supply of idiots (idiot example: "I gave $100,000 cash as an investment to someone I hardly know, should I have gotten something in writing do you think"?).

Anyway, a few years ago I replaced my old tub with a jetted one. Despite the expense, it has been worth every penny.

Posted by: a former european at June 4, 2008 12:42 PM

You know, that is one thing I did not get in my big tub: a Jacuzzi. But I can't complain :)

We were thinking of putting a hot tub out on our back deck but I don't think we'll be here long enough to enjoy it. It sure would be nice, though! Especially in the winter.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 4, 2008 12:47 PM

I can only think of a few things better than a hot soak. . . is this "G" rated???

Posted by: lela at June 4, 2008 12:56 PM

"lying in the tub staring up at the trees... "

Your tub's outside?

Posted by: MaryAnn at June 4, 2008 01:01 PM

Milady, ya gotta spring for the jets next time.

"Jacuzzi jets help also."
Lawdy, lawdy, yeah they do... After Walkin' Boss puts this old carcass through traction, stretching, exercise and treadmill abuse, those little water jets are probably as close to heaven as I'll ever get.

IMHO if there ain't no jazz in your cuzzi, might as well take a shower. =8^}

Posted by: bthun at June 4, 2008 01:08 PM

Harumph. When I remodeled the bathroom at our cabin in the mountains I installed a jetted tub. The wife's idea of "roughing it." She was going to use it for the first time and said, "why don't you go chop some firewood so we can have a fire when I get out?"

Her, bath... him, make fire... both happy. It described the man/woman thing to a tee.

Posted by: Allen at June 4, 2008 01:11 PM

Lela, you're a woman after my own heart :p

Heh. Heck no.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 4, 2008 01:16 PM

. . . is this "G" rated???

Lela! Move toward the light! *Move toward the light!!*

Posted by: BillT at June 4, 2008 03:29 PM

Or as a certain male in our household is fond of saying, '...it was light, it was dark...it was light, it was dark...'

Posted by: Princess Leia... struggling for that G-rating... or was it??? at June 4, 2008 03:45 PM

No, Lela, don't go into the light. The Dark side is sooo much more fun....

BWAAHaahaahaaahaaa

0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at June 4, 2008 03:49 PM

No MaryAnn, my tub is indoors.

But we live in the woods and our house is on a very steep hill overlooking a lake. One of the very best features about it (and one that I will miss if we give it up) is the view out the back windows. It feels like you're in a tree house. You look out the back windows directly into the treetops.

It's gorgeous. And the master bath is really nice. We put extra money into that - we had custom tile put in, instead of the crap the builder wanted to use, and a really BIG tub underneath a HUGE picture window. The way it is situated, no one can see into the window - it's up so high. So when you sit in the tub, you look up and out into the treetops. It's very relaxing and pretty.

Posted by: Princess Leia... struggling for that G-rating... or was it??? at June 4, 2008 03:50 PM

Sounds absolutely lovely....

Posted by: MaryAnn at June 4, 2008 04:10 PM

Simply find a large container, fill it with steaming hot water...

Well, I prefer booze, myself. It might not get ya clean, but it's good for what ails ya. :-)

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at June 4, 2008 04:29 PM

The Dark side is sooo much more fun....

And *tuneful*...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N0w2rORwSc

Posted by: BillT at June 4, 2008 04:41 PM

"...fill it with steaming hot water..."

WATER! Do you have any idea what is in water? Fish pee -- among other things -- in water! At least the water in beer has been processed and filtered. Not to mention water will rust your insides......'least that's the word on the street......

Posted by: DL Sly at June 4, 2008 05:06 PM

While I agree with DL Sly regarding the Dark side, I think I'm going to bypass the CRS tale and move this fat man right on to the... bathtub...

Posted by: bt_GeeRated_hun at June 4, 2008 05:08 PM

WC Sly! Awesome...

Wait a @#$^%$ minute! Who put grape juice in my grape juice!

Posted by: bthun at June 4, 2008 05:10 PM

" (why do women of a 'certain age' suddenly go gaga and start buying Mediterranean sea salts? "....heheheh....It wouldn't have anything to do with the beneficial effects they have on the bouyancy of the water in said tub. That compensates for the effect of other things that women "of a certain age" tend to accumulate.........He very quickly runs for his life ! dodging slings, arrows, and, good god that looks like the bathroom sink !! If my honey sees this I'm a dead man.

Posted by: Edward Lunny at June 4, 2008 05:18 PM

"Who put grape juice in my grape juice!"

Well, that's obvious...........Bill "I just have water in the bottle in front of me" T. did.

Posted by: DL Sly at June 4, 2008 05:20 PM

Posted by: Ymarsakar at June 4, 2008 05:58 PM

Should I offer the those young authors my services? Say, on some dark and rainy evening perhaps? Eh what?

Posted by: E.G.E. Bulwer-Lytton at June 4, 2008 06:27 PM

You were dead and you didn't even bring me back and a damned t-shirt? Some friend.

Posted by: spd rdr at June 4, 2008 11:47 PM

Moqtada...is that you in the tub? If so...you damn sure look different from the pic's I've seen. Ummmm, won't you get "stoned"...LOL.

Just damn great seeing those damn sexy legs again. How long have you been back?

You have been added to my Blogroll...NO Moqtada, you do NOT have to add me to yours...Mine is X rated mainly for language...NOT porn...please...I do have class...beside the fact...I do...not watch...:).

Posted by: El Cid at June 5, 2008 01:46 AM

Ay, caramba.

Love it. You see, have had a shit of a day...so I stopped the ibuprofen and went straight to tequila...Mexicano Style...Shot, Lemon, Salt....four and counting... A few more drinks from this infidel pig Moqtada, and I'll shave your beard.

Oh wait, that was fake, silly me.

Posted by: El Cid at June 5, 2008 01:53 AM

Well, that's obvious...........Bill "I just have water in the bottle in front of me" T. did.

Goose. We don't *have* grape juice over here.

I used tamarind soda...

Posted by: BillT at June 5, 2008 06:30 AM

(why do women of a 'certain age' suddenly go gaga and start buying Mediterranean sea salts? "....heheheh....It wouldn't have anything to do with the beneficial effects they have on the bouyancy of the water in said tub. That compensates for the effect of other things that women "of a certain age" tend to accumulate...

He shoots from the lip...

He scores! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAL!

Ewwwwwwww. That looked *painful*. What a horrible way to die...

Heh.

And mr rdr if you expect to be brought a freaking t-shirt, first you have to *notice* the person has died :p

Posted by: Cassandra at June 5, 2008 06:40 AM

El Cid:

No, that's not me. I may be shameless, but I'm not quite at the point of posting photos of myself in the tub :)

Posted by: Cassandra at June 5, 2008 06:46 AM

...but I'm not quite at the point of posting photos of myself in the tub...

But you may see 'em yet, EC. Just depends on how long she keeps the Red Mini meme going.

Heh...

Posted by: BillT at June 5, 2008 07:40 AM

Soooooo dead.

Oh yes, you will pay. Dearly.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 5, 2008 08:10 AM

And mr rdr if you expect to be brought a freaking t-shirt, first you have to *notice* the person has died

This may explain why I've yet to receive my "Jim Gilmore for President in 2008" t-shirt.

Posted by: spd rdr at June 5, 2008 09:55 AM

Soooooo dead.

Hey, *I'll* get you a T-shirt, spd, just as soon as the PX makes room for new stock with a "Thongs -- Half-Off" Sale.

Go for it, Sly...

Posted by: BillT at June 5, 2008 11:21 AM

Heh, I always thought thongs were essentially a *half-off* sale, anyway.
Of course, for some people, a thong is still more than the *bare* minimum requirement.....

*strollin' away*

Hey, who threw the *fiddly bit*!
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at June 5, 2008 03:26 PM

Don't you *like* fiddly bits?

Posted by: BillT at June 6, 2008 04:55 AM

I like these fiddly bits better.

0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at June 6, 2008 11:01 AM

You like fiddly bits that are no longer available?

Kinky...

Posted by: BillT at June 6, 2008 01:07 PM

Didn't the link work?

Posted by: DL Sly at June 6, 2008 07:19 PM

I like Sly's fiddly bits better than Bill's.

Heh.

That sounds SO wrong...

Posted by: HomefrontSix at June 8, 2008 12:46 AM

Way too much energy expended in those fiddly bits considering the weather. It's a very hot summer's evening so what I'm kicking back with a Maker's Mark on ice and going with these fiddly bits.

Here's to fiddly bits! =8^}

Posted by: bthun at June 8, 2008 01:10 AM

Darned belligerent, offshored, proof reader inserted a what after so. Please ignore the what in the previous comment while I berate said proof-reader.

He is, after all, from Barcelona...

Posted by: bt_Basil-Fawlty_hun at June 8, 2008 01:16 AM

While he's off berating his proof-reader, here is something for your viewing (and heading) enjoyment.

Posted by: HomefrontSix at June 8, 2008 02:15 AM

...something for your viewing (and heading) enjoyment.

*looking around for the 11-foot pole with which I am soooo not touching that one*

Posted by: BillT at June 8, 2008 03:50 AM

Nothing wrong with the link, Doc-Lady Sly -- I think the vid was just being over-accessed when I first tried it.

Posted by: BillT at June 8, 2008 03:53 AM

It was all bthun's proof-reader's fault...he is, afterall, belligerent AND from Barcelona.

Posted by: HomefrontSix at June 8, 2008 04:03 AM

Success! We've transcended the Real Man/Real Woman Paradigm -- *everything* is the fault of bthun's proofreader!

Real men aren't from Barcelona, anyway.

*dodging multiple jabs from estoque y bandillera*

Posted by: BillT at June 8, 2008 05:01 AM

"It was all bthun's proof-reader's fault...he is, afterall, belligerent AND from Barcelona."
Heheh. And he thinks a football is round! The heathen!
"Success! We've transcended the Real Man/Real Woman Paradigm -- *everything* is the fault of bthun's proofreader!"

"Real men aren't from Barcelona, anyway."

Careful BillT, doesn't seem to take much to stir up a thread 'round heah'. Not to mention the potential for defamation litigation... =8^}

Posted by: bt_Basil-Fawlty_hun at June 8, 2008 11:04 AM

"Real men aren't from Barcelona, anyway."

That'th what they thay in Cathtile, at leatht.

...doesn't seem to take much to stir up a thread 'round heah'.

Whew -- what an understatement. Sly starts nattering about "fiddly bits" and HF6 jumps right into "heading enjoyment" -- thank the Lowered that Cricket's too busy studying to chime in...

Posted by: BillT at June 8, 2008 12:12 PM

Heh. Nope. Doesn't take much.

Posted by: HomefrontSix at June 8, 2008 12:40 PM

Uh. Oh.

*sidling toward the body armor box*

Posted by: BillT at June 8, 2008 12:59 PM

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