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June 20, 2008

Coffee Snorters: Hot Monkey Love Edition

Your federal tax dollars at work: after years of intense study, scientists have finally proved that female chimps like to hoot and holler in the sack... but only if they know other females can't hear them.

Now there's a real shocker.

Man's best friend: you feed him, you give him treats, but will he be there for you in the clinch?

Bridgeport police say they arrested a city man after he ordered his pet to attack two officers. Lucky for them that 9-foot-long pythons aren't very obedient.

Officers were called to Rodriguez's apartment on a report that he was threatening his girlfriend with the pet reptile.

Viadero says that when the building superintendent opened the apartment door for the officers, Rodriguez allegedly threatened them with the snake and told it to "Get them!"

Only the blindingly fast reactions of law enforcement averted certain disaster.

Posted by Cassandra at June 20, 2008 07:01 AM

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"Back off, coppers! This serpent's got a hair trigger!"

Posted by: BillT at June 20, 2008 09:06 AM

Or a forked tongue.

Posted by: Cricket at June 20, 2008 02:36 PM

Thath'th why thnaketh thpeak like Cathtilianth from Barthelona when they're reading proofth.

Posted by: BillT at June 20, 2008 04:19 PM

I suppose they got him for "assault with a deadly reptile".

Posted by: ZZMike at June 20, 2008 07:42 PM


Posted by: BillT at June 21, 2008 11:20 AM

Especially those utilitarian black snakes! They exist for one purpose and one purpose only. To KILL!

And second amendment or no, I'm going on record to say that there should be no concealed carry snake permits.

Oh come on, you know that's where this was headed... =8^}

Posted by: bthun at June 21, 2008 11:58 AM

From my cold, dead hands!

Posted by: Charleton Herpetologist at June 21, 2008 12:53 PM

I'm going on record to say that there should be no concealed carry snake permits.

Not even the pink ones sporting a "Hello, Kitty" logo?

Posted by: BillT at June 21, 2008 01:32 PM

So the guy was, what, a seventh level mage, and tried to cast "Summon snake?" Lucky the cops made their saving throw. Must have had their Badges of Authority (+2) and Glocks of Power (+3).

Posted by: Steve Skubinna at June 21, 2008 11:38 PM