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June 11, 2008

Stop Penetrating Me With Your Bombs!!!!

The Editorial Staff has been doing some reading of late, mostly about noble souls who ensmarten the world around them on a daily basis. One of those worthy folks is Professor Joseph Massad.

This Massad fellow seems to be an extremely brainy character. It must be all that book-larnin' one picks up in Ivy League schools, where (we hear tell) they have real books and all. And unlike some people we could name, the More Highly Evolved Among Us don't just sit around all day reading to their pet goats. They use their edumacation to spread peace, love, and understanding and minimize divisiveness, hate and suspicion between people of differing belief systems.

You know. Kind of like a pan-Islamic Keith Olbermann. But we digress....

Professor Massad... believes the Iraq war stemmed from the sexual prowess of the American male ("In such a strategy, Iraqis are posited by American super-masculine fighter-bomber pilots as women and feminised men to be penetrated by the missiles and bombs ejected from American warplanes."); he condones terrorism against Israel ("This can be done by the continuing resistance of Palestinians in Israel and the Occupied Territories to all the civil and military institutions that uphold Jewish supremacy"); and lastly, he attempted to exile a student from his class who had the gall to disagree with him.

... In Desiring Arabs, Massad asserts that the West "produces homosexuals as well as gays and lesbians, where they do not exist." But for colonialism, Massad contends, there would be no gay people in the Middle East for the tyrannical governments of Egypt and Iran to persecute. Although Massad says he opposes hanging gay people, he shifts the blame from the hooded executioners to the United States.

Helen Thomas on a treadmill! Not since the Odious Shrub murdered Andrea Dworkin has the half vast editorial staff been so angry. Truly, the arguments of this Massad chap are well nigh irrefutable. To anyone who has done his homework, the spread of homosexuality to the Middle East is clearly attributable to the pernicious effects of the Bill O'Reilly show and American pop tart culture.

But what particularly shocks the conscience is the way the Bush White House cynically used gay Internet porn and black market DVDs (such as the eponymous "Brokeback Mountain") as a so-called "secret propaganda weapon" to infect the previously pristine Persian culture with decadent 'Western values'. We can thank brave truth tellers like Oval Office insider Scott McClellan, who will be testifying before Congress later this month, for revealing how the Bushies have been waging this kind of insidious cultural warfare campaign since the early 12th Century:

As there are different biological, historical and psychosocial origins among many Middle-Eastern Muslim cultures, homosexual practices were widespread and public. Persian (fars) poets, such as Attar (d. 1220), Rumi (d. 1273), Sa’di (d. 1291), Hafez (d. 1389), and Jami (d. 1492), and also the Kurdish Poet Shik Raza wrote poems replete with homoerotic allusions. Recent work in queer studies suggests that while the visibility of such relationships has been much reduced, their frequency has not. The two most commonly documented forms were commercial sex with transgender males or males enacting transgender roles exemplified by the köçeks and the bacchás, and Sufi spiritual practices in which the practitioner crossed over from the idealised chaste form of the practice to one in which the desire is consummated.

For example in old Persia homosexuality and homoerotic expressions were tolerated in numerous public places, from monasteries and seminaries to taverns, military camps, bathhouses, and coffee houses. In the early Safavid era (1501-1723), male houses of prostitution (amrad khane) were legally recognized and paid taxes. A rich tradition of art and literature sprang up, constructing Middle Eastern homosexuality in ways analogous to the ancient tradition of male love in which Ganymede, cup-bearer to the gods, symbolised the ideal boyfriend. Muslim — often Sufi — poets in medieval Arab lands and in Persia wrote odes to the beautiful Christian wine boys who, they claimed, served them in the taverns and shared their beds at night. In many areas the practice survived into modern times (as documented by Richard Francis Burton, André Gide, and others).

What is even more disgusting is reading that, in contrast to the previous Gulf War, our brave, murdering troops are being sent into battle without desperately needed combat equipment:

During the US invasion of Vietnam, the atrocities committed against the Vietnamese were not limited to the killing of millions of civilians and the maiming of millions more, the destruction of agricultural land and harvests, outright massacres and napalming of whole villages, and the subsequent economic embargo imposed on the destroyed country after the war, there were also important torture mechanisms that the US military reserved, not only for male resistors, but also for female "Viet Cong" fighters. Their torture included rape, otherwise known as "searching" them with the penises of US soldiers, as they could be hiding weapons inside their sexual organs (See Arlene Eisen- Bergman 1975 book Women of Vietnam ).

The mixture of sex and violence in an American (or European) imperial setting characterised by racism and absolute power is more uniform than the American or British media may think. Just a bit over a decade ago, during the first Gulf war of 1990/91, American fighter-bomber pilots would spend hours watching pornographic films to get themselves in the right mood for the massive bombing they carried out in Iraq (see The Washington Post, January 26, 1991). This, of course, is one example of many in which sex figures prominently in imperial ventures.

Exactly. This is just one more reminder of how the military represents everything that is dark, twisted, and destructive in human nature... except when we need them to protect us (and then they are a bright, shining exemplar of everything good and noble in American life. We get so confused sometimes.) In truth, American society can thank the Twin Towers of academia and professional journalism for reminding us every day how they bravely risk their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to safeguard the freedoms we hold so dear against those who hate our way of life.... and by that of course we mean our elected leaders, not al Qaeda.

CWCID: MaryAnn, over whose head we shall be pulling the Frilly Panties of Fascism later, for the Massad link. Oh yes.... it will be fun. Heh.

Posted by Cassandra at June 11, 2008 08:35 AM

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Comments

Well gosh-all-hemlock, geez -- how'm I supposed to get all murderously rampant against the pan-Islamofascistic hordes of Allahless Al Qaeda if they won't even let me buy Playboy in the PX/BX?

Ummmm -- I only read it for the incisive articles on Sufism, though...

Posted by: BillT at June 11, 2008 01:56 PM

...otherwise known as "searching" them with the penises of US soldiers, as they could be hiding weapons inside their sexual organs.

Yup. Female VC were *notorious8 for their ability to stash items such as the PT-76 within various orifices...

Posted by: BillT at June 11, 2008 02:34 PM

Take two.

*ahem*

Yup. Female VC were *notorious* for their ability to stash items such as the PT-76 within various orifices...

Posted by: BillT at June 11, 2008 02:37 PM

*grumpf*

That's what I get for skipping that fifth cup of coffee this morning...

Posted by: BillT at June 11, 2008 02:41 PM

You got all of that from The Butt Book? Wow, maybe I should have read the back cover a little closer before passing on buying my own copy....

0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at June 11, 2008 04:18 PM

Yanno.... I haven't had a chance to fully peruse my personal copy of The Butt Book, O Snarky One. Though the Unit found the chapter on Butt Insights highly amusing :p

Where in the helk is Mistress Mandy? (*&^b wench is never around when I need her.


Posted by: The Sternly Wagging Finger of International Consensus at June 11, 2008 04:22 PM

"Where in the helk is Mistress Mandy? (*&^b wench is never around when I need her."

Are you in need of a good *whipping*?

Posted by: DL Sly at June 11, 2008 04:27 PM

Just a bit over a decade ago, during the first Gulf war of 1990/91, American fighter-bomber pilots would spend hours watching pornographic films to get themselves in the right mood for the massive bombing they carried out in Iraq (see The Washington Post, January 26, 1991). This, of course, is one example of many in which sex figures prominently in imperial ventures.

This, of course, is one example of many in which complete horseshit figures prominently in leftist thought.

Sorry, one of my buttons just got freakin pushed. Imperial venture? Desert Storm? REALLY? Funny, I don't recall the American colony in Kuwait. Do we collect taxes from Kuwaiti citizens? Do we limit their import and export to our favor? No? Interesting, because we're running a REALLY CRAPPY EMPIRE THEN! Because that's what constitutes an 'imperial venture', ya know... that whole thing with establishing an empire.

The next ignorant piece of dog squeeze that gives me this "Imperial" crap when talking about the United States is likely to get a hot Kiwi injection in their fourth point of contact. As an imperial power, the United States has been a complete failure. Not only have we militarily conquered European, Asian, and Central American nations and FAILED to make them US colonies, states, or even protectorates, we've outright granted them their independence and governments of their own DAMNED choosing! Please name for me one imperial power that did that without armed conflict? Twice we've accepted the surrender (once even unconditional) of Germany. Last time I checked, they're a completely independent nation with a government that has been unsupportive and even actively worked against us, AND WE LET THEM. Not only did we let them, WE PAID THEM TO REBUILD!

GAH! I'm so mad at this "Imperial" BS I wanna spit.

Posted by: MikeD at June 11, 2008 04:30 PM

Did someone say "whipping"?

Mistress Mandy is always up for that.

Posted by: Mistress Mandy at June 11, 2008 04:49 PM

Mistress Mandy is always up for that.

Found out where the kids hid it, eh?

Posted by: BillT at June 11, 2008 05:24 PM

Sooooo...........I'm wondering, Sternly Wagging Finger of International Consensus, does The Butt Book have any instruction as to the best location for the application of your whipping?

Posted by: DL Sly at June 11, 2008 05:34 PM

This, of course, is one example of many in which complete horseshit figures prominently in leftist thought.

Well said, MikeD. And people are paying Columbia University to teach their kids this horseshit, rather than the actual historical *facts* you cite.

Posted by: MaryAnn at June 11, 2008 06:00 PM

"Found out where the kids hid it, eh?"

sigh...what the hell IS wrong with kids these days?

It took threats of bodily harm by the spouse to get that back. If Mistress Mandy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.


Posted by: Mistress Mandy at June 11, 2008 06:24 PM

What a morally upright post. I had forgotten about Larry's tribute to Andrea Dworkin. I just reread it and cried my eyes out all over again.

Posted by: Cricket at June 11, 2008 08:43 PM

the subsequent economic embargo imposed on the destroyed country after the war

Yep, after the fall of Saigon, North Vietnamese embraced their South Vietnamese brothers and sisters (sometimes breaking their necks in the process) and everything in 'Nam was hunky-dory, or would have been, if it hadn't been for that mean embargo. Reeducation camps? Boat people? Nah, that's just wingnut propaganda.

I do wonder, though, why on earth Vietnamese Americans tend to vote Republican and support the WoT. I recall reading that they overwhelmingly voted for Bush and against Kerry in 2004. Gee, I can't imagine why.

Posted by: Donna V. at June 11, 2008 10:12 PM

"...previously pristine Persian culture..."

I love alliteration. :-)

Posted by: camojack at June 12, 2008 12:33 AM

Mike! You are making sense. You can't do that these days. It is all about JinjisKerry and how we rape, plunder and loot in a manner reminiscent of Elmer Fudd on steroids. Jean Fraude has sought to enlighten us as to the real cause of terror (besides himself, that is) being the schism between Shia and Sunni. If we only understood them, you see.

JFK has had that lesson seared into his consciousness and next will be sporting a temporary tattoo. It is all about solidarity.

Posted by: Cricket at June 12, 2008 11:36 AM

Yeah MikeD hit the spot alright. But I'm conflicted in that he revealed the closely guarded secret history of the [talking point alert] failed imperialist policies of this nation.

Why I'd bet if Sandy Berger had that info in his bvd's it would never, ever, see the light of day. =8^}

Posted by: bthun at June 12, 2008 12:58 PM

Mike needs to sent to Gitmo for lap dances to Christian Aguilera songs.

After a round of genital mocking, he won't be so quick to spill state sekrits like that one!

Posted by: Cricket at June 12, 2008 03:12 PM

In truth, American society can thank the Twin Towers of academia and professional journalism for reminding us every day how they bravely risk their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to safeguard the freedoms we hold so dear against those who hate our way of life....

Don't worry Cass, they'll show you what they are all about when they implement hate speech laws. Once the First Amendment is gone, then they will truly be able to demonstrate civil liberties then.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at June 12, 2008 10:19 PM

Mike needs to sent to Gitmo for lap dances to Christian Aguilera songs.

Given the female MP's I worked with back in my day, all I can say is:

"Please, please, PLEASE Brar' Fox, don throw me in that brar patch!"

heh

Posted by: MikeD at June 13, 2008 01:28 PM

Though I will take a pass on the Christina Aguilera songs.

Posted by: MikeD at June 13, 2008 01:29 PM

The single funniest thing I've ever seen (well, not the funniest, but darned close) was once when my husband was deployed and my younger brother and his wife took me out to a bar. During the band's break, apparently it was the guitar player's birthday and some fool sent him a lap dancer.

I had, actually, never seen a lap dance before.

I had also never seen my little brother's face turn that particular shade of red before. Highly amusing.

Posted by: Cass, feeling chastened at June 13, 2008 03:39 PM

...I will also add that neither his wife nor I thought much of her technique :p

But it was, as I said, rather entertaining.

Posted by: Cass, feeling chastened at June 13, 2008 03:40 PM

"I had, actually, never seen a lap dance before....nor I thought much of her technique"

Exactly how would you *know* anything of technique if you've never seen one before?
Hmmmm?
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at June 13, 2008 04:07 PM

Yes, Cass, DO enlighten the Knavery on lap dancing technique.

I wonder if they practice on..oh never mind.

*drags mind out of the gutter*

And no one caught my typo about Christina versus 'Christian.'

I was going to snark 'brar patch' and thought better of it.

My little nose has been to the grindstone and it hurts. I start a writing class next week and already the first assignment is a doozy. Karate and guns and why one of them is bad.

You'll *never* guess...

Posted by: Cricket at June 14, 2008 01:09 AM

searching them with their penises? For weapons?
How would a penis know? It has a separate brain.
How does a penis get trained in weapons detection?

Oh...good....oh...I am laughing so hard...I shouldn't...I really need to stop.

Posted by: Bad Cricket at June 14, 2008 01:16 AM

Karate and guns and why one of them is bad.
You'll *never* guess...

Why, karate, of course -- it gives people a false sense of empowerment when they're being mugged. They go all Stalking Mantis and Dancing Crane on a guy with a gun who's standing out of reach and then wonder *why* they got shot.

How does a penis get trained in weapons detection?

First, you have to get its attention by assuming the Dancing Crane position while wearing a thong...

Posted by: BillT at June 14, 2008 11:17 AM

Is the thong on the head of the Dancing Crane?
(Why does one Abba song keep running through my mind now?)

Found a John Wayne movie at the local Wally's.
The Princess Kitty adores the Duke and has all of True Grit memorized. She collects his movies.

Posted by: Cricket at June 14, 2008 11:42 PM

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