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July 23, 2008

Le Good Read

John Hawkins has a great interview with Kathleen Parker, syndicated columnist and author of "Save the Males: Why Men Matter Why Women Should Care." With a title like that, it will probably come as no surprise that the half vast Editorial Staff (not to mention our legion of snarky itinerant Eskimo typists) are all huge fans of Ms. Parker's.

Many is the time we have sat around Villa Cassandranita yukking it up as Ms. Parker deftly lampoons yet another public figure's energetic attempts to beclown him- or herself. In fact, it was the spousal unit who first turned us on to Ms. Parker's writing. He has often recommended her to the blog princess as a model of what she ought to be doing with her life (something she is not entirely sure she appreciates, but what is she going to do?).

It is always about the smart blondes :p

Sheesh. Go read the interview. Good stuff.

Posted by Cassandra at July 23, 2008 01:36 PM

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Comments

It is a good interview and I plan to read the book. I think "male bashing" is just one more example of the way societies overcompensate for their missteps. The pendulum rarely swings to the center and stays, and it takes many sensible voices to keep the "discussion" centered. That leaves some opportunity for women who treat men with respect to excel in finding a very nice mate and making it last.

Posted by: Samantha West at July 23, 2008 05:02 PM

I get so sick of it but I know she is right on the money on this one.

Yeah, I plan to read the book, especially now that I have stopped on page 10 of Catch-22 for some reason.

Posted by: Cricket at July 23, 2008 06:02 PM

Ms. Parker is pretty sharp; she's like Ann Coulter without the nastiness.

I always enjoy reading her stuff...

Posted by: camojack at July 24, 2008 01:19 AM

Human history tends to have some patterns you can easily recognize.

For one thing, when chaos and inequality reigns supreme, you have two kinds of reactions to it. Either the status quo keeps it unequal to preserve their own privileges and living standards or the status quo tries to reform things and make things more equal and just.

Now, what happens when that chaos and inequality has turned into order and justice? Ah, then what tends to happen is two primary reactions, the same as before.

The first reaction is to preserve the good stuff and pass it onto the next generation.

The second reaction is to try to change it even more because now there is NO status quo preventing things from being changed!! But then again, if there's no status quo that is perpetuating injustice, why do you need an organization to "change" anything?

Now if you change things when they are healthy, what tends to happen is that you make it sick again. It's like Vitamin A overdose. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 24, 2008 02:30 AM

...when chaos...reigns supreme, you have two kinds of reactions to it.

"Comment seriously" or "Insert snark."

Posted by: BillT at July 24, 2008 07:33 AM

Really? I always thought snark was the only way to go...

Posted by: Gregory at July 24, 2008 09:55 AM

"That leaves some opportunity for women who treat men with respect to excel in finding a very nice mate and making it last."
In the spirit of B.O.'s Magical Mystery Tour, I'll just say that the love you take is equal to the love you make.

And snark is like a fine wine, it improves with age and with use... or so I've observed. =8^}

Posted by: bt_gonna-carry-that-weight-a-long-time_hun at July 24, 2008 10:16 AM

I was delighted to see you post on this. I was unaware of Ms. Parker's book, however for the last couple of years, I have been doing a self-directed study of femininity and masculinity, what they look like, what they should be, how they interact, what they mean to an individual/family/culture/society, etc. I intend to read this book, now.

One of the mistakes that we have made in the insanity of the last half-century is to confuse femininity with feminism. Often, we equate them without even thinking about it. While feminism has been on the rise, femininity has dropped off the bottom of the chart-- to the point that one is hard-pressed to find a true lady. On the other side of that, the women have not only lost their femininity, but they have emasculated the male population to the point that Men are awfully hard to come by, as well.

Ms. Parker is not the first, nor will she be the last, to write a book about this trend, however it's still unpopular (in the press, anyway, if not in real life) to examine the cons of feminism too closely, and some of the more liberal sect would take it so far as to say it was unpatriotic. She's up against a rough crowd.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention!

Blessings.
SP~

Oh, and I finally commented on your blog, as requested. :) Thank you again for allowing me to link to you! Feel free to drop by my blog anytime you like.

Posted by: satinpatriot at July 24, 2008 10:27 AM

Thanks for commenting :)

I've written many times about male bashing.

I think it's a real problem. What I wish people (and many of my readers) would open their minds to is that there is beginning to be a like issue with female bashing. To me, they are flip sides of the same coin: a tendency to lump people into bins unthinkingly.

I see a *lot* of female bashing in the blogosphere, and I think it's ugly. We can point out the excesses of the feminist movement without bashing all women.

When I start to see hyperbolic rants by conservative men about how "all American women are spoiled" and how they have to go overseas to find a "decent" (read properly submissive) woman, I start to feel pretty nauseated. This isn't much different from the very demeaning stereotypes they object to when they're aimed at men.

What a load of crap. I know plenty of decent, hardworking women.

And I know plenty of fine, honorable men.

So knock off the hyperbole and grow up. Sure, there are some societal issues we can all take a good hard look at, but I raised two sons who are decent men and they had no trouble at all in finding decent, intelligent, hardworking women to marry. I am proud of my daughters in law.

And my sons aren't movie star handsome - they are pretty much average looking guys, though of course as their Mother I think they're the most wonderful thing since sliced bread :p

If they found decent women, the odds are it was because they like smart women and know how to treat them well, so they are willing to stick around and reciprocate the treatment they receive, just as I did when I met their father.

Funny how that works out :p

I realize that people do run into unfortunate outcomes that are not always their fault. But I start to lose it when I hear that the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket based on anecdotal experience. I can put up just as much anecdotal experience that says the world is proceeding pretty much as it should be, so perhaps - just perhaps - all women are not jaded, sex hating harpies who just want to steal your cornflakes and all men are not heartless, irresponsible cads. Look around: the world is full of decent people.

It's just that there are some real bozos as well.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 24, 2008 11:11 AM

By the way, that wasn't aimed at you!

Sometimes I just have something bottled up inside...

Heh. Parker's statement about male bashing yesterday got me thinking, especially because (to me, anyway) it's the same standard.

We seem to have lost the ability to honor those things about both sexes which are laudable (manliness and traditional femininity both seem to be on the outs), but also to tolerate disappointments w/out ascribing the faults of a few regrettable individuals to an entire class of people. And I guess it bothers me sometimes that everyone loves it when I point out male bashing because that's perceived to be more consonant with conservative values and yet sometimes I get the feeling when I point out female bashing (to me, I'm applying the same ethical standard) there is this horrified kind of silence, as though I'd gone over to the "other side".

I don't condone bad behavior from either sex. But neither will I condone broad brush condemnations that (IMO, at least) don't speak well for conservative values and aren't always terribly thoughtful.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 24, 2008 11:21 AM

"Look around: the world is full of decent people.

It's just that there are some real bozos as well."

Would IMO make an outstanding title for the next installment in your series of related posts.

Posted by: bthun at July 24, 2008 11:26 AM

I think it's a real problem. What I wish people (and many of my readers) would open their minds to is that there is beginning to be a like issue with female bashing. To me, they are flip sides of the same coin: a tendency to lump people into bins unthinkingly.

As the Left likes to say, violence begets violence and hate begets hate.

They just didn't happen to mention that they were the ones begeting such things.

Ahh... the rigors of lawyerly details and loopholes.

When I start to see hyperbolic rants by conservative men about how "all American women are spoiled" and how they have to go overseas to find a "decent" (read properly submissive) woman

Women are women, and if people think they will change if they go to another culture, they might be unpleasantly surprised. Culture is culture, but human nature trumps it all.

This isn't much different from the very demeaning stereotypes they object to when they're aimed at men.

I don't think a lot of men actually care about the "stereotypes". It is more like such folks care about the "money" more than the stereotypes.

And my sons aren't movie star handsome - they are pretty much average looking guys, though of course as their Mother I think they're the most wonderful thing since sliced bread

I thought bread was sliced from day 1...

all women are not jaded, sex hating harpies

Given the new generation of people born in the 80s and 90s, "sex hating" would not be the most accurate term to describe them ; )

Sometimes I just have something bottled up inside...

Like a demon... or one of your numerous other "characters" that cry out to be unleashed upon an unsuspecting world...

(manliness and traditional femininity both seem to be on the outs)

That's not such a bad thing depending on the situation. I appreciate women who can tear apart men bigger and stronger than them. They're really useful in a fight, dontcha know. As for men knowledgeable in cosmetics and fashion... I'm sure some women may find that of benefit much as I find fighting prowess in women a benefit... in some situations at least.

Then again, there's nothing that says such women can't also be feminine and wear dresses nor that such men can't kill effectively.


Well, I had to make the analogy even, after all. It's not my fault "tomboys" exist but not "tomgirls" in the general lexicon.


there is this horrified kind of silence, as though I'd gone over to the "other side".

Naw, it's rather us men are just being quiet until the gale passes us on by. We are not that foolish, after all, as to challenge the Mistress of Cheese Bikinis in such a state.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 25, 2008 08:50 AM

Posted by: Cynthia at May 13, 2009 07:31 AM

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