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July 17, 2008

Write Your Own Headline, Part II

Go ahead and laugh.

Like this sort of thing has never happened to you.

We are soliciting AP-style headlines with some trepidation.

Posted by Cassandra at July 17, 2008 12:17 PM

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Comments

Umm I am at a lossfor words on that one

Posted by: Stix at July 17, 2008 01:27 PM

Batchested!

Bats need succoring too!

Holy bat in the bra Batman!

Just a little more to the left!

There, that's the spot!

Posted by: JHD at July 17, 2008 01:32 PM

That's not the only great headline I've seen recently. :)

Posted by: Grim at July 17, 2008 01:44 PM

The old Imperialist bat-bug in the bra trick! FISA indeed...

Posted by: Conrad Siegfried at July 17, 2008 01:52 PM

I was rather fond of this one:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24034760-13762,00.html

Posted by: Cassandra at July 17, 2008 01:56 PM

I think "Batchested!" wins, so far :p

Posted by: Cassandra at July 17, 2008 01:57 PM

Batgirl's story of how she was selected to be 'the one.'

Yes, I routinely find bats in my bra, but better a bat in the bra than one in the belfry, I always say.

Posted by: Cricket at July 17, 2008 02:14 PM

"Scientists report isolated pockets of isolated bats survive in isolated insulated pockets despite manmade globular warming!"

If it had been in her thong, I could've tied Dubya in, too...

Posted by: BillT at July 17, 2008 03:11 PM

Holy Boulder Holder, Batman!

Posted by: Mr. Oink at July 17, 2008 03:27 PM

THE AP INQUIRER

Paramour refuses to believe that bite marks on bosom are from bat. Demands Bush and Rove be subpoenaed for DNA test! Cheney, not so much.
Story on page 3.


Posted by: TheLoveStringer at July 17, 2008 04:06 PM

BillT, that brought a tear to my eye...several, as a matter of fact.

Posted by: Cricket at July 17, 2008 04:21 PM

I thought to myself, "Now what would Cricket say, if she weren't totally immersed in her paper?"

Then I came to my senses and wrote something else.

Posted by: BillT at July 17, 2008 04:41 PM

MacGyver says "Some bats have ALL the luck".

I thought women just used Kleenex for that type of thing. Then again, the girl definitely didn't need any padding.

(Saw this elsewhere but thought it would make a good AP Headline...)"Later, a family of squirrels had to be coaxed out her hip folds with a stick, and rangers smoked out a beehive in her armpit."

Posted by: HomefrontSix at July 17, 2008 07:46 PM

Yes, I routinely find bats in my bra, but better a bat in the bra than one in the belfry, I always say.


Better a bat in the belfry than a bat in the basement.

Posted by: BatGirl at July 17, 2008 07:47 PM

LMAO, Mr. Oink...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at July 17, 2008 08:51 PM

"Local woman keeps bat abreast of the situation in Iraq"

Posted by: MikeD at July 18, 2008 10:38 AM

Vibrating breast augmentations inadvertently used.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 18, 2008 03:42 PM

She said, "... how mean I was for disturbing it."

Good grief.

Posted by: ZZMike at July 18, 2008 03:43 PM

Well, ZZm, American culture is not exactly creating Amazons these days.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 19, 2008 10:34 PM

Not a lot, but some. Most of 'em are over here, though, and I doubt they'd even *buy* a bra with pockets.

Thongs, maybe...

Posted by: BillT at July 20, 2008 02:52 AM

Thongs, maybe...

Night time raids using the element of surprise and take downs of sentries?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 20, 2008 01:17 PM

Takedowns of thongs would surprise a couple of sentries I know.

Both of whom would promptly slap me silly.

Posted by: BillT at July 20, 2008 04:05 PM

You sure those thongs aren't there to be used to strangle people silly, Bill?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 20, 2008 04:16 PM

Yeah, a thong instead of a sling. Is there a difference?

*oh I am so going to hell for that one.*

Posted by: Cricket at July 20, 2008 05:51 PM

"Yeah, a thong instead of a sling. Is there a difference?"
The Madison Avenue folks and some in our more progressive circles would have you believe that the package is the product.
"*oh I am so going to hell for that one.*"
Yeah, I know what you mean. I have a sneakin' suspicion that someone phoned in my reservation ahead of time. =8^}

Posted by: bthun at July 20, 2008 07:28 PM

'Sling, Sling a thong...'

(apologies to Carpenter fans everywhere)

Posted by: Cricket at July 20, 2008 08:16 PM

Is that anything like... if you would turn in your Snarkmnyals to page 275 and join me in singing...--

Sling lo, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry thy thong;

Come on and sing now,

Sling lo, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry thy thong;

I looked over yonder,
And WHAT did I see,

Comin' for to carry thy thong,

A band of Victoria's Secret angels comin' after me, 8~D

Comin' for to carry thy thong.

Join in the chorus with me now!

sling lo, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry thy thong;

Sing it like your heart, or some part of your anatomy, is in it and that thong is coming for you

sling lo, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry thy thong;

If you get thonged well good for you,

Comin' for to carry thy thong,

But don't forget to tell those cheeks it's goin' there too,

Comin' for to carry thy thong.

Yup, reservations in one of the mid levels, at least...

Posted by: Archbishop Desmond’s tutu at July 20, 2008 09:41 PM

Yeah, a thong instead of a sling. Is there a difference?

You generally don't find sequins on a sling.

You could sling sequins with a sling, but you'd just wind up with a sparkly cloud to your immediate front -- sorta like watching Kirk beam up and leaving you to the mercy of the Orion lap dancers...

Posted by: BillT at July 21, 2008 02:33 AM

sorta like watching Kirk beam up and leaving you to the mercy of the Orion lap dancers...

Somebody's gotta be the red shirts.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 21, 2008 02:51 AM

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 21, 2008 03:29 AM

Saw that -- Maggie linked to it at the 'Phib's place.

I don't wear red shirts. Too many Kirks around...

Posted by: BillT at July 21, 2008 04:59 AM

Too many Kirks around...

Especially the new Kirk they are going to cast for Star Trek.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 21, 2008 05:44 AM

Oh, goodie.

Watch for this one to go the Direct To Chinese Pirated DVD route...

Posted by: BillT at July 21, 2008 07:47 AM

That's one export we have China beat on!

Posted by: Ymarsakar at July 21, 2008 06:32 PM

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