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August 14, 2008

New Ice Age Impending: Former VP Hardest Hit

Inexplicably, former VP Al "It Snows Wherever He Goes" Gore could not be reached for comment:

August is the wettest and often the muggiest month of the year. Yet, summer heat continues in short supply, continuing a trend that has dominated much of the 21st Century's opening decade. There have been only 162 days 90 degrees or warmer at Midway Airport over the period from 2000 to 2008. That's by far the fewest 90-degree temperatures in the opening nine years of any decade on record here since 1930.

This summer's highest reading to date has been just 91 degrees. That's unusual. Since 1928, only one year—2000—has failed to record a higher warm-season temperature by Aug. 13.

Perhaps he was sitting in on the totally_amazing_effort to bring sitting president George W. Bush and the aptly named Dick "Fishkill" Cheney to justice for their heinous Crimes against Humynity. Won't that be a glorious day?

After all as with the so-called debate over global warming there really is no credible opposition to the received wisdom on that subject, this being the exception that proves the rule that we must always make sure dissenting voices are heard, even when they run counter to the opinion of the majority. Gosh, didn't the Founding Fathers have something to say on that subject?

Oh well, never mind. That was so long ago and an evolving consensus will trump your average time tested wisdom every time.

Posted by Cassandra at August 14, 2008 08:43 AM

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If this global warming thing keeps up, we're all going to freeze to death.

Maybe that's why they dropped the "global warming" and switched to "climate change".

As we all know, climate has hardly ever changed throughout the history of the world.

"Humynity" - good grief - there is such a thing. Evidently it's supposed to include both men and womyn as part of the humyn species (mustn't say "race"). So everybody can have his/her equal say, and he/she can walk proud and tall. (High heels do help.)

Posted by: ZZMike at August 14, 2008 12:24 PM

The actual party line on this is that the earth is currently undergoing a natural cooling cycle that is 'masking' the actual effects of global warming. And they say that when this cycle ends in ten years, WATCH OUT! The coasts will flood, the seas will boil and mankind (and one would assume womynkind) will die a richly deserved death.

Posted by: MikeD at August 14, 2008 12:56 PM

Actually, the "experts" got it wrong! This natural cooling cycle going to last for 20-years, mark my words. What this means is that for me, I won't care about what follows this cooling cycle. However, my son might care a lot. Of course, if I do exceed the life span that my grandfather set, of the slightly longer one his mother set, I might care a lot since I don't like hot muggy weather.

I might, in terms of ameliorating my own personal discomfort, extend this natural cooling cycle to 29-years, which should include my possible maximum life span.

You see, it's all about me not you. But then, others might have differing opinions except that of the former VP, of Global Warming fame, since his views have been totally discounted, as I've declared previously. Hope this ends the current controversy.

You're welcome.

Posted by: DougW at August 14, 2008 01:38 PM

...a natural cooling cycle that is 'masking' the actual effects of global warming. And they say that when this cycle ends in ten years, WATCH OUT!

Ummmmm -- yeah. Kinda like the moon masks the sun's UV rays bombarding us at night.

Watch out for a new spate of junk science *proving* that we're all going to spiral into the sun due to the increased weight of the cee-owe-two we're producing by breathing. Or conversely, that we'll go spiraling off into the asteroid belt due to the decreased weight of the earth caused by pumping all the oil from the substrate.

Naturally, both will be correct (and simultaneously, too!), but they'll be masked by the naturally-occurring wobble of the earth on it's axis...

Posted by: BillT at August 14, 2008 01:48 PM

Given a choice between circa 2000 predictions of six inches of water and circa 1975 prediction of six hundred feet of ice, I have a preference for one result over the other.

And Hansen was in both of those consensus groups...

Posted by: teqjack at August 14, 2008 03:09 PM

Given a choice between circa 2000 predictions of six inches of water and circa 1975 prediction of six hundred feet of ice.

The 2000 gloom 'n' doomers were squawking more like six *meters* of water.

Personally, I'll take the glacier.

Year-round hockey...

Posted by: BillT at August 14, 2008 03:27 PM

...but they'll be masked by the naturally-occurring wobble of the earth on it's axis...

Really? I wobble? *hic* I swear I'll try to do *hic* better about my drinking. *hic*

Posted by: Earth at August 14, 2008 04:19 PM

It seems like just yesterday we were all going to move from the midwest "breadbasket" to Mexico because the crops were going to freeze. Then the crops were spared the deep freeze and now are going to spontaneously combust. Haven't we been down this road before? Especially when the democrats are trying to retake congress or POTUS?

Posted by: vet66 at August 14, 2008 04:34 PM

I swear I'll try to do *hic* better about my drinking.

So *that's* why my stock of Mekong Jungle Juice has been shrinking.

Mix it with a lot more water...

Especially when the democrats are trying to retake congress or POTUS?

Usually it's *only* when. Good point, though -- we'd be spared all this nonsense if we put Libs in every seat in the House and Senate, then sealed the place up for about a year...

Posted by: BillT at August 14, 2008 04:56 PM

Sounds good.

Undoubtedly produce conditions sufficient to generate a fission reaction.

We could moderate it with selected justices.

Posted by: socialism_is_error at August 14, 2008 05:04 PM

It is juvenile, but I will say it anyway, we should have T. Boone Pickens mount a windmill in front of Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi and let the "Big Wind" blow.

Then they could turn around and face the ESPN cameras. We would be energy independent and breathless!

No open flames please!

Posted by: vet66 at August 14, 2008 08:23 PM

I'm comfortable. You?

Posted by: spd rdr at August 14, 2008 08:50 PM

I'm fine. Thanks for asking.

Posted by: Pile On at August 14, 2008 09:00 PM

It is to laugh.

Posted by: camojack at August 15, 2008 03:36 AM

I am going to wait until 'Ice Age IV,' the age of the neanderthal comes out. I see an Algore character.

Posted by: Cricket at August 15, 2008 08:04 AM

I see an Algore character.

I see him being tossed from the cave for extinguishing the fire to reduce the clan's carbon footprint, then forced into direct competition with sabre-toothed squirrels for errant acorns.

Posted by: BillT at August 15, 2008 11:15 AM

hansen was pushing a global ice age, but when things got warmer and warmer (due to sun spots) he switched horses in midstream, changed his model and started saying the world will end for theopposite reason.


the sun is having a unusually long minimum period. i am not sure, but it may have recently moved out of teh normal range. a time in teh past, a really long one, created the little ice age.

when it gets cold, will they let us then spew carbon to save the planet?

Posted by: artfldgr at August 15, 2008 02:10 PM

Wasn't Hansen the mastermind behind the plan to spread coal dust over the polar ice cap to speed the ice melt to

1. replenish the oceans' *diminishing* level and

2. slow the accumulation of new polar ice to forestall the onset of the new glaciation (which doesn't have a thing to do with polar ice accumulation)?

We've just entered into a solar minimum cycle -- they average about eleven years. Of course, the interglacial periods *average* about 10,000 years and the present one began about


11,000 years ago...

Posted by: BillT at August 15, 2008 03:16 PM

Gore's jet plane has so much air conditioning power it can cool an entire city, Cass, just by being there.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 15, 2008 04:19 PM

We are having a breakfast meal for dinner. Aebliskiver, bacon, smoothies and a HP movie marathon.

Hey, we can't afford dinner and a movie out anymore.

During the HP marathon, we will be baking so as to minimize waste.

Think the Goracle would be proud of me staying with my cave and clan to do the domestic bit for global warming?

Posted by: Cricket at August 15, 2008 07:50 PM

While it is admirable that you invited someone from without the clan to share your repast, thus proving your commitmynt to diversity, a question arises: how was the frugal-yet-progress-making meal prepared?

Did you burn carbon-spewing fossil fuel to cook the abalone diver's bacon or did you err by destroying a precious carbon-absorbing stand of 1,000-year old sequoias to do it?

Using Buffalo Chips was acceptable, although the ones from Syracuse produce fewer BTUs...

Posted by: BillT at August 16, 2008 02:02 AM

Uh oh. I used Natural Gas. The bacon was rendered tasty and less detrimental by being roasted. This involves
using a bakery grade cooling rack over a 1/4 sheet size pan and laying the bacon across said rack. Rendered fat drips below while bacon sizzles nicely without greasing up the entire kitchen, making clean up easier without petro chemicals. A quick wipe of the oven while warm does the trick.

So, I minimized my carbon footprint by staying home, reduced my trans fatty acid intake and
kept the world a little cleaner.

Next, I will be using the technology of the Compact Flourescent Light Bulb in the Easy Bake Oven.

One has to make progress...and I hear raw foods are good for you.

The aebleskiver (sorry about the misspelling on the first one) are not your chemically raised treats that are served to gullible customers in Solvang and other Danish communities.

These are yeast raised, which have a better flavor and should one get wild and fill them, the yeast doesn't collapse like the baking powder variety will.

Posted by: Cricket at August 16, 2008 01:57 PM

...and I hear raw foods are good for you.

Ask the NYC Health Department what its trichinosis stats did about twenty-five years ago when added carpaccio to the menu...

Posted by: BillT at August 16, 2008 02:11 PM

Rats. Insert Les Chefs Nouvelles between "when" and "added" above...

Posted by: BillT at August 16, 2008 02:13 PM

Beef carries trichinosis too? I thought that was exclusive to pork. Besides, no one in their right mind would eat raw meat unless they had raised, slaughtered and butchered the beef itself.
I would have thought e coli before trichinosis.

I have eaten sashimi grade sushi, but will never do so again unless I get the fish myself. The local grocery store here prepares exquisite sushi, but it is expensive. My son does a good sushi, only it is vegetarian. Sashimi grade is soooo expensive that Kobe beef is cheap by comparison.

Posted by: Cricket at August 16, 2008 04:22 PM

Beef and veal can both carry the parasite -- it's just not commonly associated with them.

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2008 05:44 AM

BTW, *never* eat sashimi made with freshwater fish.

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2008 05:47 AM

I never have, and now that you have told me, I never will. There was an outstanding Japanese restaurant in Salt Lake City. That was where I tried it and loved it. BUT I read about liver flukes, and other nasties, so I just enjoyed vegetarian California rolls after that. Very 80s.

We do sushi twice a month, along with grilled pizzza and some other good-for-you snacks.
Homemade pizza is the best.

Well, I won't be eating steak tartare or carpacchio anyway...something about raw bloody beef just makes my gorge rise.

We are soaking some oat groats tonight...making flaked cereal tomorrow. That grain roller is way kewl.

Posted by: Cricket at August 18, 2008 11:04 PM

LOL, better still, notice this.

Record low maximum temperature set in Denver for August 16th... The high temperature at Denver International Airport today was 58 degrees. This 58 degree reading will replace the previous low maximum temperature record for August 16th which was 63 degrees set 118 years ago in 1890.

(and immediately following that):
This summer, Hampton Roads[VA] has had the lowest average temperature in five years. In fact, this decade has been cooler than previous decades. Since 2000, Hampton Roads has seen 58 days when the official temperatur has climbed above 90. That represents the smallest total since the 1980s.

Posted by: Obloodyhell at August 21, 2008 07:28 AM

Soon everyone will see thru the myth of man induced global warming. According to the Space and Science Research Center... Read for you self the warning of immediate and long term cold beginning to hit planet earth; http:spaceandscience.net/id16.html

Posted by: RodD at September 28, 2008 12:08 AM