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September 17, 2008

The Game

A comment on the Babar thread got me thinking that it's time for a game. WarEagle snarked:

Wait, I thought Babar represented the civilizing influence of homosexuals throughout western civilization? Maybe I read the wrong memo?

Well now isn't that just like a man? If he knew anything, he'd have twigged immediately to the juxtaposition of anarcho-primitivist themes and subtle yet pervasive heteronormative elitist outlook exquisitely calculated to perpetuate a sense of Eurocentric class and skin color entitlement:

In the past few decades, a series of critics on the left, most notably the Chilean writer Ariel Dorfman, have indicted Babar in the course of a surprisingly resilient and hydra-headed argument about the uses of imagery and the subtleties of imperialist propaganda. Babar, such interpreters have insisted, is an allegory of French colonization, as seen by the complacent colonizers: the naked African natives, represented by the “good” elephants, are brought to the imperial capital, acculturated, and then sent back to their homeland on a civilizing mission. The elephants that have assimilated to the ways of the metropolis dominate those which have not. The true condition of the animals—to be naked, on all fours, in the jungle—is made shameful to them, while to become an imitation human, dressed and upright, is to be given the right to rule. The animals that resist—the rhinoceroses—are defeated. The Europeanized elephants are, as in the colonial mechanism of indirect rule, then made trustees of the system, consuls for the colonial power. To be made French is to be made human and to be made superior. The straight lines and boulevards of Celesteville, the argument goes, are the sign of enslavement. Through such subtle imprinting, the premises of imperialism come to be treated as natural. The case cannot be dismissed out of hand: it’s easy to see that, say, “Little Black Sambo,” for all his pancake-eating charms, needs to be thought through before being introduced to young readers, while, to take an extreme example, a book from nineteen-thirties Germany about the extermination of long-nosed rats by obviously Aryan cats would go on anyone’s excluded list, however beautifully drawn.

After reflecting on this for some time, the Editorial Staff began to detect the odious signs of patriarchal mind-rape in even the most innocent stories from her childhood. We earnestly invite the readership, half vast as we know it to be, to go forth and do likewise.

Take this stunner:


Some may see this as merely the story of a small bird searching for a busy mother out running errands.... but we know better now, don't we?

Try this on for size:

Are You My Mother is the heartrending story of a helpless baby bird who, learning to his utter horror that his Mother and Father are planning to vote for the McCain/Palin ticket, realizes his parents have gone completely stark, raving mad. Surely he is adopted?

Bravely he sets out to find his real parents. On the way, he finds the Other America: a warm, caring nation where real patriotism doesn't mean wearing a flag pin on your lapel and Swift Boating is just fine -- as long as your Swift Boater is on the side of the angels.

Posted by Cassandra at September 17, 2008 08:04 PM

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Huffing(ton) the elephant dung a little too much?

Posted by: socialism_is_error at September 17, 2008 08:41 PM

"Words, just words!" Huh?

Posted by: DougW at September 17, 2008 10:11 PM

Aw shoot. I hate surprise endings. I was sort of hoping he had been adopted by liberals.

Green Eggs and Ham: A tawdry tale of food tinkering, needing to be marketed by Sam-I-Am
trying to get his friend to eat and become addicted to, the product. The other zombies in this fast-paced thriller follow him everywhere to make sure he complies. Only when the movie 'Soylent Green' comes out, do we get the ending.

The sequel, 'Invasion Of The Body Snatchers' failed to live up to the early promise of the first film. Since it was typical of most sequels, it has since gone to DVD and is enjoying continuing cult popularity among college students.

Posted by: Cricket at September 17, 2008 10:26 PM

Little Women 2008: Four young girls raised by their mother battle for control of their reproductive destinies in post-Patriot Act America as their combat-addled father falls victim to the back door draft and is dragged back to Afghanistan against his will. As the novel follows the young sisters' empowering march on Washington to take their country back from the bitter, gun-clinging Red State mafia, you'll find yourself standing up in your seat and cheering them on! Four stars.

Posted by: Cass at September 17, 2008 10:51 PM

Captains Courageous:
In a manner reminiscent of Gunga Din, you'll see heroic obstruction of banking reform, energy and oil drilling policy, privatizing social security and resistance to a free trade pact with Columbia. "Not on my watch!" mutters Captain Kerry of Massachusetts, as he fights on against wind power off Cape Cod. "Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!" shouts Colonel Murtha, about anything and anyone, in particular.
See it now, before the power goes out, forever!

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at September 17, 2008 11:02 PM

Why Mommy Is A Democrat:

1. To keep her precious safe from evil Republican elephants.
2. Because she's a flippin' looney tune.

You decide...

Posted by: camojack at September 18, 2008 03:35 AM

Is there anything the leftist intelligentsia can't pollute with their gaze?

Posted by: Steve Skubinna at September 18, 2008 04:14 AM

I doubt it, Steve.

However, look on the bright side. We get to mock them mercilessly!

Posted by: Cass at September 18, 2008 07:20 AM

We're no Angels:

Enjoy the madcap escapades of three former Marxist community organizers masquerading as every day middle Americans espousing traditional values while attempting to maintain the facade through whispy hopeychangy, witty repartee and assistance from an Mother MSM. A kindly old matron who secretly shares their goals, all the while professing to be a purveyor of impartiality... In everyone's best interests, of course.

A non-stop, hide the skeletons, tour de farce directed by Chomi DeMoni.

Coming soon to a re-education camp near you.

Posted by: bt_what-me-worry?_hun at September 18, 2008 07:46 AM

First of all MISS Cassandra... you need to study your dialectic further. CLEARY Are You My Mother needs no alteration of the actual plot in order for one to find the actual social message of the book. Are You My Mother is a how-to manual of the patriarchical phallo-norminative gender role assignment that today's Western (so-called) society dictates that "Mother" is the one to stay at home (in the nest, in this case) and take care of her children. It is specifically that Mother leaves the nest to provide for her children (getting a job) that causes the breakdown of the family. It is just this kind of masculine-dominiated claptrap that has kept Womyn from securing their rightful place at the head of a gender-equal society.

Secondly, I cannot believe that you failed to note the subtle reference in Are You My Mother to the tacit approval Mr. Eastman had for slash and burn development practices the West uses to rob poor Devloping World citizens of their natural resources in order to fuel the Kriminal Korporate Kapitalistic rape of Mother Gaia (again, proving the Patriarchy's fear of and need to sexually dominate the Sacred Feminine). When the little bird comes across the earth mover (earth raper morelike), it says "You are not my Mother, you are a Snort." Thus encouraging the child reader to absorb the message that devices of eco-destruction are humorous or even "cute" in an effort to indoctrinate their fragile minds into the Industrial Culture.

Posted by: MikeD at September 18, 2008 11:25 AM

The Night Before Christmas

The scary story of a fat dwarf, who forces flying deer to pull a sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too. This weirdo, ignoring health regulations by smoking a pipe, sneaks down the chimneys of helpless tots, fast asleep with visions of sugarplums dancing in their tiny heads, while their parents cower in the hall, wearing kerchiefs and caps. This interloper, dressed in fur no less, leaves sweets and toys stuffed in stockings, thus encouraging consumerism among innocent children, while indoctrinating them in Christianity with the chant "Happy Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!"

Posted by: Sloan at September 18, 2008 03:45 PM

Rainbow Fish:

Rainbow Fish, due to nothing more than the lucky inheritance of wealth from sub oceanic economic pillagers, has beautiful, colorful scales. Rainbow Fish flaunts this unearned bourgeois decoration in front of the working class fish. When an oppressed, non-union fish making less than a living wage asks Rainbow Fish for one of her beautiful scales, i.e., enough money for a sandwich and maybe a little health care, Rainbow Fish shows her selfish and evil capitalist ways by yelling at the fish to "get a job, deadbeat!"

Eventually, the other working class fish see Rainbow Fish for the bourgeois capitalelitist that she is and shun her. Missing her "slumming it" friends, Rainbow Fish goes to talk to the wise Octopus Marx. O. Marx advises Rainbow Fish to share her beautiful scales. He opines that her selfishness and self interest was a learned trait, that she did not earn such wealth except upon the backs of the value of the underappreciated labor class, and she would be happier without such concern and desire for self-interest, though the latter is not an endorsement of Buddhism as all religion, even Eastern mysticism, is nothing more than a devise to maintain the unjust capitalist social structure.

Rainbow Fish rejects O. Marx's advise. Shortly thereafter, as the working class fish grow weary of their underpaid labor, they begin to form in groups. Eventually Rainbow Fish and all in her class have their shiny scales torn off her body, and she is sent to a re-education camp. The shiny scales are equally distributed to the working class fish, with a few bonus scales going to politically connected working class organizers and party leaders, but this is not a contradiction to their equality first principles they are told.

Rainbow Fish returns from her education happy to have one shiny scale left, and she is happy as a lark swimming in line with her other working class fish friends as they wait for bread.

Posted by: Hummer at September 18, 2008 04:43 PM


On a scale from one to ten, today has been about an eleven: truly one of the crappier days of my life. You guys are the best :)

Posted by: Cass at September 18, 2008 04:47 PM

Mike, you have a point.

I have always been a Tool of the Patriarchy.

Posted by: Cass at September 18, 2008 04:48 PM

I also forgot that Green Eggs and Ham is a mixed metaphor for the tobacco companies as well. Do we really know how high the level of green is in the eggs and ham?

Now, Missy Cass: You have admitted that you are a Tool of teh Patriarchy. You have admitted that you Share A Bed in the social sense. As a feminist, I have no recourse but to name you as a traitor to the Systerhood of the Waylyng Womb. I recommend a course in drumming and affirmation where key phrases are shouted at appropriate times in Harmony with Luna.

A black helicopter will be by at ten.

Posted by: Cricket at September 18, 2008 05:12 PM

I thought Bill was in Italy?

Posted by: Cass at September 18, 2008 06:16 PM

MEN MEN MEN!!! Is that all you can think about? You don't believe women can pilot helicopters? For shame!

Posted by: MikeD at September 19, 2008 12:12 PM

If you are a tool, Cass, does that mean you lack free will and self-awareness?


That looked like the Shysterhood.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at September 19, 2008 03:19 PM

Cass likes 27" tools...

Posted by: bad back cricket brown at September 19, 2008 03:51 PM