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October 02, 2008

Great Moments in Sports Journalism


It is a very strange sport involving bizarre rituals the blog princess has no desire to know too much about. Manly men. Farm animals. Inflatable dolls. Be that as it may, we are fairly confident that Keith Olbermann never penned epic lines like this:

"The Cubs are hard," Gerodemos said. "They're very hard."

Posted by Cassandra at October 2, 2008 09:34 AM

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Stiff is more like it.

They've forgotten the fun.

Posted by: socialism_is_error at October 2, 2008 09:48 AM

Good luck convincing the rest of the NL of that, Champ.

Posted by: BillT at October 2, 2008 09:53 AM

What is it with baseball and stunts, anyway? Is it because it's such a slow-paced sport?

Soccer is that way too, but you don't see quite the same things (the superstitions, etc.)

Posted by: Cass at October 2, 2008 10:27 AM

What do you expect from a sport that embraces hickory bats, leather balls, guys wearing masks, players wearing cleats (hurt so good), spit, sweat, and scratch is not a law firm, guys running around with other guys throwing their balls at them, and sliding between legs is encouraged?

I won't even bring up the practice of pouring liquid from a pumped up vessel on each others heads when victory (OH GOD YES) is attained and people pay to engage the scene in voyeuristic gay abandon as the exhibitionists carry on in front of them. Then when everyone leaves the talk is "Was it good for you?"

Then the coup de grace is when they deny the customers the obligatory smoke afterwards as the players sign their balls for the fans...

BATTER UP! You're in the batters box! To the showers!

Posted by: vet66 at October 2, 2008 10:45 AM

"Good luck convincing the rest of the NL of that, Champ."

Above my pay grade, Sport. :)

Posted by: socialism_is_error at October 2, 2008 11:09 AM

Wow, KO knows something about sports? You've got to be kidding!

OBTW: Cubs are cute when in a zoo, otherwise they play terrible post-season baseball!

Posted by: I'm a Twins Fan, NOT! at October 2, 2008 11:34 AM

Hickory bats? What doofus equates that with baseball? Doesn't that person know about ash bats? Much better for bats!

Posted by: I'm a Twins Fan, NOT! at October 2, 2008 11:37 AM

The Cubs and their fans are annoying. They (the fans) show up at someone else's ballpark (like Cincinnati) and act like it's a home game for them.
They are like Grateful Dead groupies. A pox on them.
Carlos Zambrano looks like Hugo Chavez, and I hope he gets beaten like a rug tonight by the Dodgers.

Okay, rant over.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at October 2, 2008 12:50 PM

Dude, Kickory, Ash, whatever, they're even making bats out of Maple these days. But what ever you do, don't pull out Sammy Sosa's old Midwestern Corked Bat. It's an endangered species.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at October 2, 2008 01:05 PM

"... don't pull out Sammy Sosa's old Midwestern Corked Bat."

The bats aren't the problem. The problem is that the fans are nuts.

Posted by: ZZMike at October 2, 2008 02:01 PM

Did someone call my name????

You’ve probably all seen pictures of these delinquent young bats on TV, hanging from the ceilings of deserted bullpens all over America. You’ve heard their pitiful supersonic squeaks. In their bleary ganga-reddened eyes and Cheeto-dusted little mouths, you can see the desperation of these once-proud denizens of the night.

You may have glimpsed the “gang-sign” they use to mark their territory - a territory that is rapidly vanishing due to the irresponsible human-centric platform and disastrous economic policies of the Bush administration. Without your help, future generations may have to go to a museum to see a MidWestern Corked bat.

But you can make a difference. For a small donation of $180 - just 50 cents a day - you can change the life of a young MidWestern Corked Bat. We’ll even send you a picture of your sponsored Bat that you can post on your refrigerator to remind you of money well spent.

We don’t all get to make a difference in this world. You’ve probably considered contributing before, but it’s easy to make excuses like, ‘I’m too busy’, or “I’m just one Frenchman - there is no “we” - there is only “I”. What is the point of even trying in virtual police state where even Keith Olbermann is afraid to Speak Truth to Power for fear of ending up in an airless cell in Gitmo with the frilly panties of Fascism pulled over his head?

Ou est mes Gauloises?”

That’s why I’m asking you to call today - 1-800-BAT-RSCU - Again, that’s 1-800-BAT-RSCU.

You owe it to your children to preserve this fine specimen of nature’s glory. Remember the BatsRUs slogan:

“A small donation today will help ensure that the Corked Bat will produce mildly hallucinogenic guano for generations to come.”


Posted by: Endangered Midwestern Corked Bat at October 2, 2008 02:15 PM

Great site you got!

Would you like a Link Exchange with our new blog COMMON CENTS where we blog about the issues of the day??


Posted by: Steve at October 2, 2008 04:33 PM

I've got a bit of an "inside baseball" perspective. Some superstitions are just gross. One of the relievers (usually acted as a "closer") refused to allow his jock to be washed the entire season. Let's just say that his corner of the clubhouse stank... He shall remain anonymous...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at October 2, 2008 05:06 PM

It must be post season time and the Cubs are in the playoffs. Let the games begin!

Posted by: Christain Debt Relief at October 2, 2008 05:42 PM

As a former Chicagoan also, I must confess to being a long-suffering Cubs fan.

I think a big part of the attraction is Wrigley Field itself. It is just a great stadium to be in. I started going to Cubs games as a kid in 6th-grade. My parents would have killed me had they known, but I had enough paper-route money to get a train ticket into the North Side (just a couple bucks, IIRC), then walked about 16 blocks east to Wrigley. The bleachers were bench seating, and only cost a buck to get in. My friends and I did this around 2-3 times a week.

I still have great memories of those days in the sun at Wrigley. Nowadays, a trip to the ballpark will set you back anywhere from $50-100, so I rarely attend unless entertaining clients.

Posted by: a former european at October 2, 2008 08:02 PM

The cost is why I rarely watch anything but minor league ball. I also enjoy it more, though.

Posted by: Cass at October 2, 2008 08:07 PM

Minor League ball is great. Lots more fan-friendly, I think. Round Rock's most expensive tickets were $13 this past season, and there isn't a bad seat in the entire ballpark, really. Although I prefer to be either behind the screen or in the outfield berm...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at October 2, 2008 08:24 PM

I like minor league ball too. We also like street stickball. Less complex rules. Either the boys all whack the helk out of each other when they change the rules, or they get along.

Much like life.

My 180 is in the mail. Do you have a program for saving moonbats too?

I am supposed to be writing a paper on language and how it warps...uh shapes a culture's worldview.

Posted by: Cricket at October 3, 2008 12:10 AM

There's no word for "yesterday" or "tomorrow" in Urdu -- which makes for some interesting conversations with Pakis. They're perfectly at home with the concepts, they just didn't figure it was worth the trouble to come up with a separate word for each.

And good luck with the tonal languages. F'r example, Vietnamese uses the same words (nuoc dai) with slightly different pronunciations for "ice water," "tea," and "urine." High amusement potential in the tonier restaurants...

Posted by: BillT at October 3, 2008 03:28 AM

Those poor Cubbies. I remember in one o' the "Back To The Future" movies, the Michael J. Fox character went to the future, and there was a headline saying "Cubs win World Series!" I wonder how many people who saw that got the joke...

Posted by: camojack at October 3, 2008 03:34 AM

'journey to the center of the earth' how is this movie

Posted by: nil at October 3, 2008 05:42 AM

> "The Cubs are hard," Gerodemos said. "They're very hard."

I do hear Olberman says something along those lines when he thinks the words: "President Obama".

Posted by: Obloodyhell at October 3, 2008 06:52 AM

What AFE said reminds me of why I love baseball. If reminded me of this, too.

"And they'll walk out to the bleachers, sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. ......... America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again."

But the Cubs still lost last night. Heh.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at October 3, 2008 08:46 AM