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November 24, 2008

50 Sexiest Movies

Well, the Princess must not watch a lot of sexy movies because she's only seen 5 or so of the top 25.

On the otter heiny, she couldn't help but agree with most of the commenters. Where the heck was the Thomas Crown Affair? We owned the original, but the remake is even better.

Posted by Cassandra at November 24, 2008 06:51 AM

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Titanic and The Notebook, both of which KtLW dragged me to, clawing and squalling.

"But I already *know* how it ends -- the boat sinks."

"Shaddup."

Posted by: BillT at November 24, 2008 08:02 AM

Never seen either movie. I am probably the only female on earth who has never seen Titanic.

A male friend of mine (a Marine) used to bug me ceaselessly to go see that film. For some reason I have zero desire to see it. I'm sure it's very good but I can't stand Leonardo di Caprio.

Posted by: Cassandra at November 24, 2008 08:28 AM

No, it's actually not very good (unless you are an impresssionable 16-year old girl, and there's nothing wrong with that), and the boat still sinks at the end.

"Shakespeare in Love", now that's entertainment!

I've seen some of these, plus I went through the 26 -50 films, and I noticed the presence of some real gender-benders. Oh well.
No Russ Meyer flicks?? :D

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at November 24, 2008 09:11 AM

No, it's actually not very good...and the boat still sinks at the end.

Actually, it sank at the bow.

Posted by: BillT at November 24, 2008 09:26 AM

The Last of the Mohicans with Daniel Day Lewis..

"I will find you" is the sexiest moment of the movie...

I have never seen Titanic either.

Posted by: Carrie at November 24, 2008 09:56 AM

Don't bother with Titanic. I agree completely about Last of the M, though.

Posted by: Texan99 at November 24, 2008 09:59 AM

Yeah, the boat did sink at the bow. Picky, picky. :)

They left out "All That Jazz", semi-autobiographical movie of Bob Fosse, with Roy Scheider playing Bob. Some pretty steamy scenes, especially his dream-fantasy dance sequence.

If you can find "sexy" in "The Last of the Mohicans", you can find it in anything. I think there is a semantics problem here, with confusion between "romantic" and "sexy".

Now, back on my head.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at November 24, 2008 10:41 AM

IMHO, Mississippi Masala belongs MUCH higher on that list. It's an awesome movie, and it aged well, too. Of course, I've always been kinda partial to Denzel.

But, knowing what I now know about Viggo Mortensen, I just can't believe any movie he ever made is on that list.

Posted by: airforcewife at November 24, 2008 10:56 AM

I think the sexy part is his intensity when he tells her that he will find her.

Posted by: Carrie at November 24, 2008 11:00 AM

Heh..AFW, should we start finding LL Cool J movies to submit for this?

Posted by: Carrie at November 24, 2008 11:01 AM

I think there is a semantics problem here, with confusion between "romantic" and "sexy".

That is because you are a man, Don. As I have tried to tell you guys over and over, to women they are one and the same.

Guys find the idea of having sex with women they don't even know "sexy". Women generally don't. If they fantasize about it in the abstract, they generally do it in the context of a relationship. Or at least of it having meant something emotionally to the man, even if it was a one night stand. We don't divorce love and sex the way you guys do - to us, that seems very cold and almost incomprehensible.

Perhaps it makes more sense. I don't know. Certainly we would not get hurt as much as we do if we thought more like men do.

I only know that we are not able to turn our feelings off like that.

Posted by: Cassandra at November 24, 2008 11:13 AM

Oh, the romantic/sexy link is so true!

Romance creates sexy for women.

Cool J has sexy movies, too? That might be overload for me. I still have the words to "I Need Love" memorized from when I was in 8th grade.

Posted by: airforcewife at November 24, 2008 11:17 AM

How come they call it the the "50 Sexiest Movies" when they only show the top 25?

"It Happened One Night" isn't listed, and neither is "To Have and Have Not" ("You know you don't have to act with me, Steve. You don't have to say anything, and you don't have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow.")

Stupid lists.

Posted by: spd rdr at November 24, 2008 11:43 AM

airforcewife, your vain attemts to resist my avant garde brand of metrosexuality are really quite amusing.

Struggle as you will. In the end, you will be mine.

Posted by: Viggo Mortensen at November 24, 2008 11:46 AM

Here are #50-26

Posted by: Viggo Mortensen at November 24, 2008 11:51 AM

Viggo;

You remind me of Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy pedaling himself outside Katherine Ross' bedroom window after her night under Robert Redfords gun.

Keep pedaling!

Posted by: vet66 at November 24, 2008 11:57 AM

Like Water For Chocolate should be much higher. If you haven't seen it, you should. Warning for the guys, there's no shooting, fighting, or explosions. It's a bit slow, unless you have a date. Then it's worth watching.

Posted by: MikeD at November 24, 2008 12:04 PM

I've seen maybe 1/3 of the movies listed. I think I'm more impressed with the movies in the bottom half of the list than I am in the top half.


Viggo Moretensen just doesn't do it for me. Nor does Leonard Dicaprio. Though Bull Durham is one of my all-time favorite movies.


As for LL Cool J...just YUM.

Posted by: HomefrontSix at November 24, 2008 12:18 PM

Viggo; You remind me of Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy pedaling himself outside Katherine Ross' bedroom window after her night under Robert Redfords gun.

Oh... like you wouldn't have tried it??? :p

Posted by: Viggo Mortensen at November 24, 2008 12:18 PM

Viggo Moretensen just doesn't do it for me. Nor does Leonard Dicaprio...

Just you wait, little lady. I have a scented facial mask that drives the fillies wild.

Posted by: Viggo Mortensen at November 24, 2008 12:20 PM

Makes my skin smell like African violets, it does....

Posted by: Viggo Mortensen at November 24, 2008 12:21 PM

Guys find the idea of having sex with women they don't even know "sexy". Women generally don't.

For those that *do*, now there's eHarmony.

Posted by: BillT at November 24, 2008 01:25 PM

I confess to being a hopeless reactionary man-pig. It's just that it should be romantic and not "sexy". To me, sex is a very wonderful thing, but it is also very personal. You can talk about it publically, in a superficial way. For example, make a list of movies that have "it". :)

For instance, "Body Heat" is a pretty sensuous movie (visually), but the notion that it is "romantic" is pretty insulting to the notion of romance. "Bull Durham" has doses of both, with humor, so I could see that making somebody's list. There are other movies on the list that have both, but it is a pretty screwy list, if you ask me. Like I said above, a bunch of gender-bender flicks in there. Not sexy or romantic to me, those are.

But this analysis is sucking the fun out of making and criticizing lists. I blame Bush for this, don't you?

Back on my head. Again.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at November 24, 2008 01:30 PM

Well Don my intent wasn't to suck the fun out of anything and if I did so I'm sorry. I was just pointing out that different people find different things sexy.

I have even heard tell that some people find me sexy...

Though personally I find that hard to believe.

Posted by: Viggo Mortensen at November 24, 2008 02:37 PM

I have even heard tell that some people find me sexy...

Yup.

You get along well with: The Pinky

See? Case closed.

Ummmm -- you wouldn't know who got the Brain as an answer, wouldja? Cricket and I are putting together a li'l plan for World Domination...

Posted by: BillT at November 24, 2008 02:47 PM

Wasn't Gigilo Mortensen that gut from Lond of the Rings that looked like he didn't take a bath for a really, really long time? Is that sexy, ladies, 'cause if so, we guys are all over it.

Posted by: spd rdr at November 24, 2008 04:26 PM

That's right, buddy.

Men. We give and we give and we give.

How about a little love, ladies?

Posted by: Viggo Mortensen at November 24, 2008 04:52 PM

Viggo ~ you and your African violet smelling skin can get your love elsewhere.

And spd, I can't talk for the rest of the women here but I like my men to shower (or at least bathe) on a regular basis, thankyouverymuch. So no, the icky, haven't-bathed-in-weeks look isn't sexy.

At all.

Posted by: HomefrontSix at November 24, 2008 05:31 PM

Oh, I don't know if the "haven't bathed in weeks" look is NEVER sexy. Remember that picture from the beginning of OIF with the Marine with the Marlboros?

Oh wow.

Posted by: airforcewife at November 24, 2008 07:58 PM

afw ~ the *look* may be sexy but the *smell* sure isn't.

Posted by: HomefrontSix at November 24, 2008 08:12 PM

Second the comment about "Like Water For Chocolate". The title itself... steaming, of course. I was a little shocked that my daughter's high school Spanish teacher showed it during class.

And "Chocolat" was nowhere on the list? Not only hilarious and sexy, but oh so romantic. And spicy.


Posted by: Donna B. at November 24, 2008 09:20 PM

As I recall, I think my husband liked 'Chocolat'. Or maybe he just likes brunettes. Who knows?

Posted by: Cassandra at November 24, 2008 09:28 PM

Never seen either movie. I am probably the only female on earth who has never seen Titanic.

For some reason I have zero desire to see it. I'm sure it's very good but I can't stand Leonardo di Caprio.

You're not the only one. ;) And ditto on di Caprio.

Posted by: FbL at November 25, 2008 12:21 AM

Well, they certainly should have put Witness on that list, preferably in the top 25. What were they thinking?

Posted by: MathMom at November 25, 2008 12:35 AM

> 23. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE (1993)

Oh, gimme a break. This movie was incredibly slow and boring. Not as bad as Chariots of Fire, but it's a slow, boring movie about a slow, boring bunch of people.

Simply put: if your idea of "sexy" is loud snoring, then by all means, put this movie on...

-- and no, I have no problems with:
a) Costume Dramas
b) Historical Dramas
c) Talking Head Movies
... Just with drearily boring examples of the above.

========================================
> 3. MR. & MRS. SMITH (2005)

Are these voters schizo, or what? This movie wasn't awful, but neither was it particularly great. And I don't recall the heat as being particularly evident, though it suggested it often enough.

If this movie is about sowing oats, it had a pretty bad crop failure.

========================================

> 36. GHOST (1990)

Proof that these people are loons is this film at #36.

> 32. CRUEL INTENTIONS (1999)

...as is putting this movie in here but not the "original", Dangerous Liasons. I can see, perhaps, not including either, but to include this one at all and not Dangerous Liasons shows you have no clue what you're doing. The tension between Malkovich and Close -- both better actors than Phillipi and Witherspoon (not that they are bad, either) is literally palpable.

That these rankers are loons is especially obvious in light of including Age of Innocence at all. Ludicrous. Simply ludicrous.

> I think there is a semantics problem here, with confusion between "romantic" and "sexy".

Now, romantic, that I got....

The first couple you probably haven't seen:

A Little Romance
The Last Romantic Lover
Summer Lovers (yeah, it's a teenage male fantasy, but it's done with substantial charm).
Heart and Souls
Bewitched
Pretty Woman
The Princess Bride (THE Mormon Date movie. Seriously. Mormons have it memorized)

I could chase down more. I don't think any guy who can stand something without explosions would dislike any of the above.

Posted by: Obloodyhell at November 25, 2008 11:15 AM

> "It Happened One Night" isn't listed, and neither is "To Have and Have Not" ("You know you don't have to act with me, Steve. You don't have to say anything, and you don't have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow.")

Heh. I was going to note that last one myself and forgot while kvetching about some of the other absurdities. For these people, no movies (excepting one) were made before 1980.


And, BTW -- no:

> As I have tried to tell you guys over and over, to women they are one and the same.

Nope -- not buying that, not at all, or you'd be mentioning dozens of movies that aren't there, but which have distinctly less "sexy" but a lot more "romance".

Why isn't there a single Audrey Hepburn movie in there? Why is there (as I note) only one movie from before 1980? Sorry, I *know* some of you ladies are old enough to have seen one or two movies made before 1980.

But, for the most part, by modern standards, such movies are romantic but NOT "sexy".

What passed for "sexy" back when -- Burt Lancaster bare chested and oiled up in The Crimson Pirate, or Tony Curtis a decade later (i.e. the 50s equivalent of "300")... Or Lancaster and Deborah Kerr rolling around in the surf in From Here to Eternity -- the "eros" in these movies no longer cuts it. We see stuff like that in TV commercials on The Disney channel.

So I believe I can define it:

These older movies have very limited erotic appeal.

"Romance" is a forebrain function. "Eros" is a Reptile brain function. Men are a lot closer to their reptile brains, I'll grant, but any woman seriously, honestly claims she doesn't have one is probably frigid. And no, I don't think any of you are.

;-)

So Q.E.D. -- "Romantic" and Sexy" aren't the same, not by a long shot. Men are much less picky when it comes to "Sexy" -- put a long legged girl in a Victoria's Secret teddy and you've got "Sexy"... but there's a distinct difference for women, too, and it changes with time.

Posted by: Obloodyhell at November 25, 2008 11:34 AM

Well, not to harsh Don's mellow again, but I don't find the sight of bodies gyrating on screen particularly sexy.

I never have, for whatever reason. Very occasionally I'll see it done in a tasteful manner that's erotic enough to be arousing. But more often than not it's hamfisted and clumsy and it just makes me feel kind of sick inside. To me, that sort of thing is usually a huge turnoff.

It's not that I don't like sex, because I do.

But I don't want to watch other people do it. That feels voyeuristic and weird to me.

Capture my imagination and you've got me hooked. That requires something a tad more subtle than Rod What'shisname's bottlerocket waving around like a metronome while some ditzy female (why are the women always stupid/evil/amoral? Is this a male fantasy?) moans like a lovestruck water buffalo.

I liked the Thos. Crown affair because there was some romantic tension between the two of them - plenty of subtle plot twists and witty dialogue. I don't want to see the woman fall into his arms like she's been clubbed over the head with a 2x4 and then pant dementedly as she is bowled over by his manliness for the rest of the movie - that's almost as bad as the dumb scenes where every woman screams at the top of her lungs all the away through childbirth. Or vice versa - I don't like seeing men portrayed as hapless dimwits controlled by their hormones. That's boring.

FWIW, I liked Pretty Woman for that reason. Lite fare, but fun.

Posted by: Cassandra at November 25, 2008 11:34 AM

Oh, yeah:

Chocolat

Posted by: Obloodyhell at November 25, 2008 11:38 AM

And, if you want to understand guys, I recommend you find (or at least recall) a certain scene in The Ciderhouse Rules...

Maguire and Theron have made love for the first time, and she's lying there, asleep or dozing lightly, and he gets up for some reason, turns around and sees her bare back and behind, a spectacular curve of the female body, lit from above by a bare bulb.

He's looking at her, and any guy who's not a pure, hamhanded neanderthal knows exactly what's going on in his head, and it's not lust.

It's just sheer dumbfounded appreciation for the female form -- the thing that makes guys try to create art -- to somehow express that moment's (or an equivalent moment's) perfect gestalt.

If you can get that, if you can accurately get inside McGuire's head at that moment in the film, you've got men pretty well figured.

Posted by: Obloodyhell at November 25, 2008 11:49 AM

I still catch my husband staring at me like that all the time.

About 10 years ago I started worrying about getting older (because of course I am).

We women are so hard on ourselves. It is hard not to be because everywhere we look, we are surrounded by 19 year old supermodels who are airbrushed to perfection. No adult woman - especially one in her forties who has given birth to a few kids - can look that good. And so of course, you worry a lot, especially since guys seem to be so hung up on looks. I'm lucky that way. My husband never openly comments or even glances at other women and he never has, as long as I've known him. I've never said anything to make him not do it. He just doesn't.

When I turned 40 there was this natural inclination to start "dressing more my age", covering up everything I thought wasn't perfect about me, etc. And I do that more in public - I don't wear short shorts to the store any more, nor do I wear the short skirts I used to wear in my 30s. It's no longer age appropriate.

But at home, I've pushed myself to do what Yu-Ain talked about a while back - realize that even though I might not look the way I looked when I was 19 or 20, my husband still seems to think I'm OK :p So you kind of don a big grin and go with it, and thank God that men have big hearts.

Posted by: Cassandra at November 25, 2008 12:08 PM

"...Rod What'shisname's bottlerocket waving around like a metronome while some ditzy female...moans like a lovestruck water buffalo.

Oh great, there's an image I won't be able to get out of my mind's eye for a while.
Thx.
I didn't need that.
Although, I may need therapy.
And I'll be sending the bill to you.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at November 25, 2008 12:20 PM

Thank you.

I was rather proud of that :p Although I was upset that I couldn't remember the p0rn star's name. But then since I've never seen a p0rn film, that's perhaps not surprising. I tried to watch one once while my husband was deployed but I got way too disgusted and turned it off after 15 minutes or so. I wasn't even grossed out. It just was such a massive waste of time and oxygen.

Waaaay too dumb for words. And according to the reviews, that was one of the good ones. I shudder to think if I'd picked a bad one.

Posted by: Cassandra at November 25, 2008 12:28 PM

We actually bought the soundtrack to Chocolat after we saw it. It was a fun movie :p

Posted by: Cassandra at November 25, 2008 12:31 PM

I've seen 14 of those movies. All on my on board DVD player.

Of course, I think the sexiest cinema is one of my commercials.

Posted by: Hummer at November 25, 2008 01:48 PM

"...Rod What'shisname's bottlerocket waving around like a metronome while some ditzy female...moans like a lovestruck water buffalo.

Just reinforcing the imagery for Sly.

Blame it on my altruistic streak...

Posted by: BillT at November 25, 2008 02:15 PM

Like I said: men. With you guys the giving just never starts... err... I mean stops :p

*running away*

Posted by: Cassandra at November 25, 2008 05:14 PM

> About 10 years ago I started worrying about getting older

...Beats the alternative:

--"Seven years and six months!" Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. "An uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you'd asked MY advice, I'd have said `Leave off at seven' -- but it's too late now."
--"I never ask advice about growing," Alice said indignantly.
--"Too proud?" the other enquired.
--Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. "I mean," she said, "that one can't help growing older."
--"ONE can't, perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty; "but TWO can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven."

- Lewis Carroll

Posted by: Obloodyhell at November 26, 2008 05:48 AM

Cass, my own take on aging is that women have it easy for the first 30-odd years, then it gets tougher for them.

Men, OTOH, have it better starting at 20 onward to around 45-50, then things start to decline.

This is lots easier on women -- it's a bitch being a teenaged male, and successful suicide figures show this: Males are less likely to commit suicide, but much more likely to succeed. For women, it's more of a cry for help. For men, it's an actual exit strategy.

But it does mean that women have to learn to come to grips with the fact that they aren't the center of "every man's" universe any more, that it's limited only to those who see past the aged shell.

One would hope that, by that age, one has developed the emotional stability to cope.

Some, granted, don't.

Posted by: Obloodyhell at November 26, 2008 05:53 AM

Men, OTOH, have it better starting at 20 onward to around 45-50, then things start to decline.

Women have been declining *me* since I was 25...

Posted by: BillT at November 26, 2008 08:55 AM

> Women have been declining *me* since I was 25...

Well, you're waving your bottlerocket at them too early.

:oP

Posted by: OBloodyhell at November 29, 2008 07:47 PM

Soooo.....what you're saying is he has a tendency toward premature *pyrotechnics*. I hear there's a pill for that now.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at November 30, 2008 12:15 AM

Silly me.

I typed "declining" instead of "reclining."

Sorry about the confusion it generated.

Posted by: BillT at November 30, 2008 01:31 AM

The Last Romantic Lover - a film that can't be found any longer! There are a few of us that remember it.

Posted by: C at December 21, 2008 11:27 PM

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