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November 22, 2008

Sarah Palin's Grisly Celebration of Death

Well that's it. Cancel Thanksgiving.

I will never eat another living thing thanks to Sarah Palin.

For years I looked forward to Thanksgiving as a joyous celebration of white AmeriKKKa's ritualistic gang rape of gentle and peaceful indigenous peoples. But thanks to Sarah Palin, my innocent enjoyment has been ruined for all time. How can I sit down to a table full of homicidal maniacs, knowing the true nature of this festival of death?

Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey at an abbatoir today to celebrate Thanksgiving, a full week beforehand. After pardoning the turkey, Palin partook in her favorite post-election hobby — answering questions from the media — while a turkey butcher worked in the background SLAUGHTERING A TURKEY IN A DEATH GRINDER, while smiling, a la Fargo. It is hilarious. Equally hilarious are the MSNBC captions in this clip, such as, “Gov. Palin Not Realizing Incongruity Of Her Words Versus Her Backdrop.”

Had I realized, lo! these many years, that Governor Palin was personally grinding up helpless live turkeys (feathers, feet and all!) and then somehow reassembling them behind the scenes into the bland, Butterball frozen corpses in plastic bodybags we so casually toss into the grocery cart each November, I would NEVER have participated in this wholesale avian genocide. My God... how many of our poor feathered friends been slaughtered while still alive over the years???

Who knew of this outrage? And when did they know it? Why weren't we told?

And most importantly, how dare this... this.... slut remind us of what we so patently don't want to think about? She is obviously a moron.

Incompetent. A fool. And tacky besides. Ye Gods, to think that all this time, we have been eating animals! Live animals that some ... monster had to murder in cold blood before their tender, juicy carcasses magically showed up in neat little shrink wrapped packages down at the local Piggly Wiggly. The very thought is disgusting to decent, intelligent, civilized people.

Or at least to the folks at MSNBC.

Posted by Cassandra at November 22, 2008 09:24 AM

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Comments

Uhhh...animals are usually alive before they are slaughtered. I worked in a commercial chicken house as a teenager. It was enough to put me off chicken and eggs for really really really really long time. You have to keep the place clean in order to discourage vermin and disease. That is part of the reason why chickens are given antibiotics in their feed and water. Gathering eggs was no picnic. One of the manager's sons used to go in and bag rats with a rifle a couple of times a week; emptying rat traps and hosing out the manure from the chickens or shoveling it..
Yuck.

Sorry, while I detest the moronic idiocy of these twits in showing the darker side of animal harvest, there is some truth to the brutality of the conditions of how they are raised and killed.
I would be campaigning for clean farms and a smaller production number in order to keep the conditions healthy for birds and humans, because what they eat, you get.

We got healthy beef in Missouri because we knew the people who raised them, as well as the people who ran the slaughtering operation. They would come to you for a slightly higher price, but you knew that that animal was yours.

I haven't stopped eating meat, but I eat less of it. Hunting is a better and more humane way of getting your feast. Not to mention it is fun.
I wonder if they are allowing hunting on FLW this year...they have turkey and deer running amok.


Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2008 10:24 AM

Saw the video. He was draining the blood out of the carcass. Yeah, I am so put off my feed. The commissary has turkey for .69 a pound. I think I need to can some...

That was a far cleaner operation than the chicken farm I worked on.

GOOD FOR HER!

Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2008 10:31 AM

Oh the horror! We must defend and protect and never ever tell our little sensitive children where Thanksgiving dinner comes from, but it is all right to teach babies how to use a condom in kindergarten.

Posted by: Meanbug at November 22, 2008 10:51 AM

For many years, my brother-in-law would go straight to a turkey farm down past Chapitco in Charles County, and fetch for the 20 lbs. guest of honor.

Gibblets haven't tasted so good on them Free State Birds.

Posted by: Boquisucio at November 22, 2008 11:34 AM

What the hell is wrong with people? I am so tired of the Palin bashing and MSNBC's PDS is as bad as it gets with this segment.

Posted by: Darleen at November 22, 2008 11:45 AM

"I will never eat another living thing thanks to Sarah Palin"

Well no, see... you're s'posed to kill 'em first.

Just sayin'

Posted by: M at November 22, 2008 02:10 PM

Wot about vegetables, hm? Salads are living breathing things too. I want to see vegetable slaughter! Chlorophyll spilled everywhere...

Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2008 02:46 PM

Snead at the times has now deleted the word "alive" with nary a note.

Posted by: vanderleun at November 22, 2008 02:50 PM

I'd say these people are beyond parody, except for the fact that I just finished mocking them :p

Posted by: Cassandra at November 22, 2008 04:12 PM

I'm a vegetarian simply because the idea of eating animals grosses me out.

I recently sat down in a restaurant in DC with some rather high-end types and (being used to leaving here on the left coast) let it slip that I didn't eat meat. Once I explained that it wasn't ideological, everyone smiled and relaxed, with the exception of the dragon lady across the table who either didn't believe me or didn't understand.

She had been looking me up and down with disapproval since I'd been introduced, and this was the final straw for her. With a nasty tone even her good breeding couldn't cover, she sniffed, "It's impossible not to eat animal products, you know. Plants grow from animal sources."

She paused and stared me donw, obviously expecting me to have a conniption fit at this revelation.

I gave her a relaxed smile, "Why, of course--the manure, etc. It's just that I can't stand the idea of eating something that used to move around under its own power. I guess I'm just weird..."

I laughed at myself and continued to smile as if I didn't have a care in the world.

She didn't say another word to me all evening.

Posted by: Fbl at November 22, 2008 05:09 PM

Come to think of it... she didn't eat much, either. :D

Everyone else there seemed to like me, though (one happened to be on a plane with a friend of mine the next day, and said nice things about me). ;)

Posted by: FbL at November 22, 2008 05:16 PM

I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain just so I could eat soymeal...

Posted by: BillT at November 23, 2008 01:12 AM

Everyone else there seemed to like me, though

If you'd worn the purple pants suit, they would have turned into FuzzyBee groupies, I'll betcha!

*obscure reference to a great picture that a certain vegetarian lioness it too smart to let me get my grubby paws on*

Posted by: BillT at November 23, 2008 02:37 AM

*sigh*

"...lioness *is* too smart to..."

Coffeeeeeee...

Posted by: BillT at November 23, 2008 02:38 AM

> Wot about vegetables, hm? Salads are living breathing things too. I want to see vegetable slaughter! Chlorophyll spilled everywhere...

I fully concur!?!!!

What kind of Rights do people have to abuse, mutilate, and render poor, helpless plants!??

I mean, at least animals can RUN from their tormentors.

It's quite clear: Anyone who promotes animal rights needs to immediately stop eating plants AND animals, and start sucking on dirt... become one with the dirt. BE THE DIRT.

Posted by: Obloodyhell at November 23, 2008 04:14 AM

Well, FBL, I am not a vegetarian, nor do I think I could ever be one. However, we do eat a lot of vegan fare, with a roast something-or-other a couple of times a month, and the leftovers making fabulous sandwiches or taco fillings
. Part of it is due to the fact that I am still of the Opinion that a steak never hurt anybody, and when I hit those low blood sugar cycles, I tend to crave sugar, which is why I keep nuts, cheese, jerky and vegetable sticks in the fridge. The rest of it is due to the fact that my mother believed that growing children should eat meat because of the nutrients in properly cooked (read, rare) beef and other tasty critters. However, she also believed in eating it once or twice a week, so it wasn't every meal, every day.

Toward the last 20 years of her life, she was a vegetarian. I think that was what gave her the quality of life she needed while battling cancer.
So, there are health benefits to being vegetarian.

You handled the Snooty One just fine.

Posted by: Cricket at November 23, 2008 04:19 AM

OBH, I salute you in your progress to evolve into a feral Hoover. Is there going to be mutual grooming involving the filters?

I can't wait!

Posted by: Kirby at November 23, 2008 04:24 AM

Filters are sooooo last millenium.

The *progressive* feral vac uses naught but a transparent void with which to contain the dirt.

Makes for better viewing on PMSNBC, too...

Posted by: Oreck the Li'l Dirt Devil at November 23, 2008 07:21 AM

What about the power cords? Are they dual purpose in being solar powered and Midol-drip capable?

Posted by: Kirby at November 23, 2008 09:54 AM

No, but it will produce Change*!

And it will Lower the Sea**!

And it will Heal the Earth***!

And it Reduces Your Carbon Footprint****!

*it changes quietude into noise
**one gallon at a time
***once you dump the dirt inside back outside, the process begins anew
****as long as it consists of lint

Posted by: Oreck the Li'l Dirt Devil at November 23, 2008 10:32 AM

As Patrick O'Brien would say, if we didn't slaughter the turkey first, it would be a strangely hasty, agitated meal.

I laughed harder at the Palin turkey story yesterday than I have at anything for a while. But this morning's paper brought the following gem, even funnier -- enjoy ("When Union Employees Organize"):

http://tinyurl.com/5obn8k

Posted by: Texan99 at November 23, 2008 10:39 AM

I'm thinking it would have been a whole lot more fun if instead of the slaughterhouse, they had someone in the background going "pull!"

Blamm!

Pull!

Blamm!

Girlymanbaggers would have been fainting in front of their TVs

Posted by: William Teach at November 23, 2008 12:59 PM

Sarah Palin's PR manager should be worshiped as a pagan god. Absolutely brilliant.

Consider that a losing VP candidate got full national news feed for a press conference concerning "How will I govern next year" in competition for news cycles with the next President picking his cabinet and constant economic troubles and pirate attacks (yo ho ho).

Whoever set this up is astonishing.

Nobody who is upset by the footage would vote for Palin anyway.

Posted by: Fritz at November 23, 2008 01:38 PM

Fritz, you got that in one. The ones who are upset are nobodies.

Now, about raising wild suckers; any tips, tricks and new things I need to know when I pick mine up at the local Wally World/adoption-rescue center?

Posted by: Kirby's Mom at November 23, 2008 03:32 PM

Don't give it a bath unless it's unplugged.

Posted by: BillT at November 23, 2008 04:10 PM

Great comment at Ace: "MSM discovers where food comes from; blames Palin."

Posted by: Texan99 at November 23, 2008 04:24 PM

Pity that The Left can only see Sarah ">THIS WAY.

Posted by: Boquisucio at November 23, 2008 05:58 PM

Great comment at Ace: "MSM discovers where food comes from; blames Palin."

Posted by: Texan99 at November 23, 2008 04:24 PM

I know how they feel; I felt that way when I found out where babies came from.

And wild vacuums.

Posted by: Kirby's Mom at November 23, 2008 06:35 PM

Again, you´re missing the point. No, the turkey INCIDENT is not IMPORTANT, maybe NONE of all the MANY PALIN INCIDENTS are important...it´s just that, well, Mrs. Palin JUST CAN´T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

She can´t talk right, can´t keep ideas in the right order, and she has poor judgement, just ALL THE TIME.
Some Batshit loony people are talking her up as PRESIDENTIAL Material. I wouldn´t want her overseas representing me because I KNOW I WOULDN´T BE ABLE to trust her. She would do some stupid thing and blame other people for it, creating an internatinal incident, oh, just stupid stuff. Studid is as STUPID DOES Oh, Poor Sarah Palin and her jackass followers.

Posted by: deo at November 23, 2008 07:55 PM

re: deo: "Oh, Poor Sarah Palin and her jackass followers."

I believe that deo is somewhat confused. The jackass is the Democratic party's mascot. Most of Palin supporters are elephants.

Posted by: adagioforstrings at November 23, 2008 08:24 PM

She can´t talk right...

That's called "a regional accent." Not ever'body tawks ahlahk, y'know?

...can´t keep ideas in the right order

At least she can answer a question without preceding it with five minutes of "Uh -- mmmm -- waitwaitwait -- work with me here -- uhhh..."

...and she has poor judgement, just ALL THE TIME.

Yeah, there is that whole "will speak to an MSM reporter without slapping him/her upside the head with a dead salmon" deal. She needs to work on that...

Posted by: BillT at November 24, 2008 12:19 AM

As opposed to Obama who has sealed his records from birth through college.

BillT, I am trying to work on a happy ending to my 'theoretical look at the *koff koff* ethics of government in the mortgage crisis' (the theory being that if WW hadn't signed the Federal Reserve Act we wouldn't be having a crisis now)
and all I can think of doing is not leaving Kirby plugged in after midnight.

I have been reading Bastiat. He makes me weak in the knees.

Posted by: Cricket at November 24, 2008 01:40 AM

We're not missing the point; we know there is one on your head deo, but we were taught not to stare.

The point is that the MSM is grasping at straws to discredit someone they don't like because of the content of her character. I would add 'as well as the color of her skin, but that is racist and so beneath the MSM as to make race an issue.

Posted by: Cricket at November 24, 2008 01:50 AM

...all I can think of doing is not leaving Kirby plugged in after midnight.

Which, happily, is a more ethical act than anything the gummint's done since Hector was a pup.

Sorry, that was excessively flippant.

*gratuitous retraction issued just in case they're planning to throw a bucket of money my way if I refrain from hurting their feelings*

Posted by: BillT at November 24, 2008 03:56 AM

Heh.
And they all lived miserably ever after in the Land of Equal Opportunity.

Posted by: Cricket at November 24, 2008 11:07 AM

Sarah didn't kill something herself? Oh Come on, I wanted to see that one. Was going to good entertainment but MSNBC ruined it with their doctored photos.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at November 28, 2008 09:18 AM

it´s just that, well, Mrs. Palin JUST CAN´T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

Sarah Palin has won my loyalty. Something not even Bush did with 8 years of terrorist killing and two invasions.

This will be a mystery to you because of many names. Foremost amongst them is your inability to comprehend how different human beings think and behave.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at November 29, 2008 04:08 PM

test

Posted by: Ymarsakar at November 29, 2008 04:08 PM

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