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December 04, 2008

Coffee Snorters: "Isn't That Just Like a Man?" Edition

Damned wig snatchers... they're everywhere these days, I tell you.

This is why a woman should always, always, *always* get the man's last name before jumping into the sack with him. Ironclad rule.

Violate it, and the next thing you know, the lousy b**tard is snatching the hair right off the top of your head for no apparent reason...

Completely unforeseeable, that.

Posted by Cassandra at December 4, 2008 07:12 AM

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Comments

Ok, color me gobsmacked. What the HELL!?! Eight months LIVING together, and you don't recall anything but a first name... and not even that for sure?

I suspect some kind of chemical enhancement was involved in this relationship, and I am not referring to Viagra.

Posted by: MikeD at December 4, 2008 09:02 AM

Not too often does one see the words "wig' and "Snatcher" in one sentence in a newspaper. Must have been a slow day for news in Florida.

Posted by: vet66 at December 4, 2008 10:13 AM

ROFLMAO! That was too frigging funny. Oh, I needed a laugh like that.

Perhaps this should be turned into one of those PSA's about drug use...you know, like the fried egg one. :-)

Posted by: tankerswife at December 4, 2008 10:15 AM

Could have been pretty painful.

He might have been a merkin snatcher.

Posted by: BillT at December 4, 2008 11:27 AM

Sweet Lord in Heaven! I haven't heard the word 'merkin' in YEARS! Damn you Bill - I now have freaking Coke all over my precious Mac.

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at December 4, 2008 12:17 PM

First time I've had occasion to *use* it in years.

Something in Cassie's post must have triggered the connection.

*koff*

Posted by: Robby's son, Crusoe at December 4, 2008 12:53 PM

It doesn't matter what country he's from, Bill.
Racist!

And FWIW, "hair" and "snatch" never belong together in a sentence. Of course, neither do vanilla icing and bikinis, but then Bill's "Equine, Canine and Siphonaptera Extravaganza" would be shot down before it ever got a chance to get off the ground.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at December 4, 2008 01:25 PM

Stop! in the naaame of the laaw,

don't get in the big wig-ah-all

Posted by: Ymarsakar at December 4, 2008 02:46 PM

And FWIW, "hair" and "snatch" never belong together in a sentence.

Sorry -- didn't realize you went Brazilian.

Posted by: BillT at December 4, 2008 03:42 PM

Let's just say it invokes the same kind of knee-jerk reaction as say.....*cupless* and *crotchshot*.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at December 4, 2008 04:25 PM

Just so long as your knee-jerk reaction isn't within 18" of the base of the 27" zipper...

Posted by: BillT at December 4, 2008 04:32 PM

Sadly, most of them are Sly. *shudder*

Posted by: MikeD at December 4, 2008 04:35 PM

"Just so long as your knee-jerk reaction isn't within 18" of the base of the 27" zipper..."

"Sadly, most of them are Sly. *shudder*"

Heh
I rest my case.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at December 4, 2008 05:51 PM

My mom is a massage therapist and works at a day spa. I get the occasional free massage from Mom and free facial from the lady who own the spa. I've heard someone getting a Brazilian wax in another room. NO THANK YOU! The things we women do for beauty have to stop somewhere...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at December 4, 2008 08:33 PM

Such things would *never* be permitted in Gitmo.

Posted by: BillT at December 5, 2008 01:35 AM

I'd like to introduce a *Pilot Program* to test the viability of using that as a replacement for waterboarding....I mean, seriously, if women from many parts of the world are willing to endure the *process* in the name of "beauty", surely it *can't* be considered "torture".

Posted by: DL Sly at December 5, 2008 02:34 AM

You ain't sweet-talkin' *this* pilot into volunteering for that program.

Go work your feminine wiles elsewhere.

Posted by: BillT at December 5, 2008 04:06 AM

...surely it *can't* be considered "torture".

You'd be surprised Sly. I've have arguments with folks who believed "stress positions" should be considered "torture" and I point out to them that I was frequently subjected to "stress positions" in Basic Training. They blink, think about it, and come back with "yeah, but you volunteered for that."

*facepalm*

Posted by: MikeD at December 5, 2008 01:31 PM

Such things would *never* be permitted in Gitmo.

I mean, seriously, if women from many parts of the world are willing to endure the *process* in the name of "beauty"

Before we worry about all of those things, we need to worry about turning the Gitmo men into women. I hope there are no misunderstandings here.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at December 5, 2008 04:23 PM

Rather turn 'em into *bait*...

Posted by: BillT at December 5, 2008 05:19 PM

That's what the spare parts will be for. Shark chum.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at December 5, 2008 05:32 PM

"Before we worry about all of those things, we need to worry about turning the Gitmo men into women."

Why?

Posted by: DL Sly at December 7, 2008 11:02 AM

gives new meaning to the phrase 'fanny waxing...'

Did I just say that?

Yes. I did.

Posted by: Cricket at December 7, 2008 12:11 PM

Why?

They obviously were born women, rather than as men, given their love of wearing burkhas when carrying out operations against civilians and Americans.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at December 7, 2008 12:43 PM

Did I just say that?
Yes. I did.

Why?

My sentiments exactly.

Posted by: BillT at December 7, 2008 01:16 PM

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