January 08, 2009
Major Schadenfreude Alert
I am sorry, but this is hysterical.
I am sure there is an extremely severe punishment for people who derive sick satisfaction from this sort of pwnage.
I don't care.
Posted by Cassandra at January 8, 2009 03:29 PM
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Heh. You need to visit next door more often, darlin' girl.
Posted by: BillT at January 8, 2009 03:41 PM
I DO visit! Sometimes I just don't have time to stay.
I said Happy Anniversary to John! Sometimes I just can't read everything. I've been working - haven't read any of my usual blogs (John, Tigerhawk, Grim...) lately. I just click and exit.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 8, 2009 03:53 PM
I only saw that b/c someone emailed it right to me.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 8, 2009 03:54 PM
Dayum... I guess I won't PileOn, like I came here to do...
Heh. I even *linked* her today, Bill.
Oh, I lied about that not piling on thing, too.
Which, given the size of the shadow I cast... has the potential to be painful!
Posted by: John of Argghhh! at January 8, 2009 04:15 PM
Oh, and the really important question - has she voted for us in the Best Otherwise Non-Remarkable Mid-Size Blog category yet?
No, I won't leave a url. *That* would be tacky.
Posted by: John of Argghhh! at January 8, 2009 04:17 PM
And FWIW Bill, I saw the Armorer's post on the bailout thing.
I am just not taking the bait :)
Posted by: Cassandra at January 8, 2009 04:45 PM
Noticed you haven't said a word about Argghhh-onau
Posted by: BillT at January 8, 2009 04:59 PM
The Few, The Proud, The Surreptitious.
Good to know the Gunts are learning. :-)
Remind me to tell you someday about how a group of over-served sailors once let loose 1000 crickets into the Marine barracks at Fort Stewart, Georgia - at 2 a.m. - and how the squareheads had to live in tents in the quad for a week while their hard shell was fumigated.
It's all just a rumor, or course. Like that tank at the front gate being painted red and gold.
Posted by: Don't Ask, Don't Yell at January 8, 2009 05:07 PM
Yanno that whole bailout thing is eating at her.
She's brimming with righteous snarkitude...
Posted by: John of Argghhh! at January 8, 2009 05:15 PM
Do you have *any* idea how much I detest crickets?
(small "c", Cricket)
When the princess was pregnant in Williamsburg with no air conditioning, there was a demented cricket in our apartment who made her life a living Helk all summer long.
That was the only bug she ever actually enjoyed squishing...
Actually, that is not true. I did *not* enjoy squishing him. But I was very happy he wasn't chirping at 10 o clock at night anymore.
AND I HAVE NO OPINION ABOUT P0RN!
NONE. WHAT. SO. EVAH.
Nope. Not me. Never happen. Nossiree.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 8, 2009 05:26 PM
If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bar.
*Not* having an opinion about p0rn.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 8, 2009 05:27 PM
None taken. I think that is funny. I detest roaches. I wonder if we could pass ours off as family pets at PetSmart?
Posted by: Cricket at January 8, 2009 05:41 PM
You know, I don't like roaches, but they don't creep me out the way ants do.
And crickets, for some reason.
I hate ants because they swarm and bite, and you can't get rid of them. I know how to get rid of roaches. Ants just swarm out of nowhere for no apparent reason. When you're lived in the South, you really grow to hate ants. In Mississippi they came pouring out of light fixtures and cracks in the masonry just before storms and when the lights went out.
Like I said, really creeped me out. I was always afraid they'd get my babies. Only bug that I just can't STAND is an ant. They were in the BOQ and they were evil.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 8, 2009 06:09 PM
If you have roaches, boric acid powder is just the best thing in the world.
I always used it and it got rid of enough of them (you never kill all of them) so that they didn't come out when you could see them. You can buy it at Costco still, I think.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 8, 2009 06:11 PM
Living in the land of roaches, geckos, and centipedes, I feel your pain Cass. And yes, you can still get Boric Acid at Costco. In fact I need to get some more. It's also time to re-spray the Ortho Home Defense. Keeps the 'pedes out.
I'll take 1,000 roaches over 1 fly. ANY. DAY. Flies are dis gus ting. BLECH. Nastynastynasty.
If you don't like crickets, you'll hate geckos. They laugh at you. We have one that lives behind one of the portraits on the wall, one that lives somewhere in the kitchen, and one that lives behind the entertainment center. Noisy little buggers.
Again, I'll take them AND the roaches over flies.
With regard to the pr0n bailout request, MacGyver had a good point...they are full of sh!t. The one industry that will see an increase in revenue should this recession be of any duration is the pr0n industry. What other outlet will out of work men who have nothing better to do with their time do?
I'm going to join Cass in the bar. Bartender, a Blue Hawaiian, please.
Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at January 8, 2009 09:04 PM
Proof positive, you young shavers, that nothing draws out the best in girls quite like bringing up the topic of bugs.
Posted by: krmudgeon at January 8, 2009 10:14 PM
Exactly, because some of them will then segue into their opinion of pr0n, which will not only save *us* the embarrassment of raising the topic, we can score extra points by agreeing with their opinion!
Posted by: BillT at January 9, 2009 01:57 AM
Oh, you can get rid of roaches. I live in the south (Louisiana) and got rid of the roaches in this house before we moved in.
What you have to do is eliminate places they can live. That means you first have to find them. In this case it was in the kitchen cabinets which had gaps between the walls and the shelves. Caulk, folks. Lots of it.
No gaps, no hidden small dark places for the buggers to live.
I'm not a good housekeeper. Quite the opposite in fact. I hate cleaning. But I don't have a roach problem.
Ants... that's different. The literally do appear out of nowhere! We've had fairly good luck spraying the outside of our home regularly, but those horrible creatures known as sugar ants still appear. I hate 'em.
Posted by: Donna B. at January 9, 2009 02:00 AM
(Back to the original post for a comment)
Now that is good CI at work!
(we now return you to the current comment chain...)
Posted by: William at January 9, 2009 08:15 AM
You could all reduce your ant, roach and bug problems if you had more spiders in your house.
Just a suggestion. Of course, they don't work for relationship problems, I think.
Posted by: Don Brouhaha at January 9, 2009 08:26 AM
Okay, from frosting the pinksters to hints on handling household insects (okay, redundant, that) to pr0n to sex and relationships.
With spiders, yet
Posted by: BillT at January 9, 2009 09:04 AM
I used boric acid religiously, which is why we haven't seen pet-sized roaches for over a year.
Seriously though...I was thinking about training them for the flea circus.
If you hate ants, you will just *love* the South American ants in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
My father lived in Brazil for 3 1/2 years. He hates ants because of that. He told me a story (I didn't think it was true until after I saw the Indy Jones movie last year) about how cows were picked clean...that fast.
I dislike them too, but not because they swarm...it is because they are like bees. A colony with a single-minded mentality of survival and whatever it takes to achieve that.
Bees are downright loveable compared to ants.
Seen 'Kiss of the Spider Woman' yet, Bill?
Posted by: Cricket at January 9, 2009 10:03 AM
Of course we would segue into varmints. Isn't that what Code Pinko is? A verminous blight upon the land?
Posted by: Cricket at January 9, 2009 10:05 AM
Ants. When my niece was four months old, and living in Georgia, my brother woke to the sound of her screaming (more than babies normally do). She was in her crib covered in ants. He washed her off in the tub, and she was fine. The ants had just come for the milk she had spit up in the night.
My brother solved that problem in a very creative way (to my thinking at least). He filled pickle jar lids with water and put them underneath the legs of her crib. Instant moats.
Posted by: MikeD at January 9, 2009 10:26 AM
Seen 'Kiss of the Spider Woman' yet, Bill?
Nup. We don't get "Animal Planet" here.
Posted by: BillT at January 9, 2009 01:29 PM
What religion uses boric acid?
Now, I've been in services where they clearly used boring acid in the Eucharistic liquid, or it was misting from the ceilings or out of the censer...
Posted by: John of Argghhh! at January 9, 2009 04:40 PM
Church of the Desire to be Free of Vermin.
Our Ritual is to repeat the Bill Murray mantra from CaddyShack just before we Sprinkle.
After the Effect Takes Place, we sweep them out to be One with Gaia.
Pretty simple. Anyone can join, and there are no dues.
Posted by: Cricket at January 9, 2009 09:25 PM
A Tale of Two Men
World War II produced many heroes.
One such man was Butch O'Hare.
He was a Navy F4F Wildcat fighter pilot assigned to an aircraft carrier in the South Pacific.
One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.
His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.
As he was returning to the mother ship, he saw something that turned his blood cold.
A squadron of Japanese Zeroes were speeding their way toward the American fleet.
The American fighters were gone on a sortie and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet, nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger.
There was only one thing to do.
He must somehow divert them from the fleet.
Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 calibers blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another.
Butch weaved in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until finally all his ammunition was spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the Zeroes trying to at least clip off a wing or tail, in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly. He was desperate to do anything he could to keep them from reaching the American ships. Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction. Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier.
Upon arriving he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He was recognized as a hero and given one of the nation's highest military honors, the Congressional Medal of Honor.
And today O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.
STORY NO. 2 --
Some years earlier there was a man in Chicago called "Easy Eddie".
At that time Al Capone virtually owned the city.
Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic.
His exploits were anything but praiseworthy. He was, however, notorious for enmeshing the city of Chicago in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.
Easy Eddie was Capone's lawyer and for a good reason. He was very good. In fact, his skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail.
To show his appreciation, Capone paid him well. Not only was the money big, but Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago city block. Yes, Easy Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.
Eddy did have one soft spot, however.
He had a son who he loved dearly.
Eddy saw to it that his young son had the best of everything -clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld, and price was no object.
And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Yes, Eddie tried to teach his son to rise above his own sordid life. He wanted him to be a better man than he was.
Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things that Eddie couldn't give his son. Two things that Eddie sacrificed to the Capone mob that he could not pass on to his beloved son - a good name and a good example.
One day Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision.
Offering his son a good name was far more important than all the riches he could lavish on him. He had to rectify all the wrong that he had done. He would go to the authorities and tell the truth about "Scar-face" Al Capone. He would try to clean up his tarnished name and offer his son some semblance of integrity.
To do this he must testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. But more than anything he wanted to be an example to his son. He wanted to do his best to make restoration and hopefully have a good name to leave his son.
So he testified.
Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago street.
He had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer at the greatest price he would ever pay.
I know what you're thinking . . . what do these two stories have to do with one another?
Well you see, Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.
Posted by: Artfldgr at January 9, 2009 11:07 PM
> If you have roaches, boric acid powder is just the best thing in the world.
> I always used it and it got rid of enough of them (you never kill all of them)
Actually, Cass, since the mid-80s in my experience, the pro pest control people have had some fine and dandy pest control treatments that pretty much get anything roachy that comes inside. Some things do squirm in past the doors, but by the time you see them they're usually already wobbly and sick. I've lived in Florida since birth and since the mid-80s we rarely see either the little "German cockroaches" that most people think of as cockroaches or the giant flying roachmonsters that are common to Florida, commonly called "palmetto bugs" by some people who think those dinky little ones are actual roaches. Clearly they've never seen a 5-lb sack of flour being carried off by a palmetto bug, a common sight in pre-1980s Florida... (Joke... Sorta).
The newest stuff apparently stops them from breeding -- when they first started using it back in the mid-80s, I'd see them getting progressively more and more deformed and wobbly, until they stopped showing up anywhere. So, while you'll see them outside, they really can't be found inside any more.
And that brings to mind an interesting tale, of how Plan As You Will, The Universe Will Always Find Ways To F*** With You In Ways You Never Imagined:
Back when RAID was testing a new roach bait back in the 70s, they came up with a design that basically inhibited reproduction. One of the chief advantages of this is that it pretty much prevents the development of resistant forms of the vermin. They fully tested the new bait at their Florida labs, and then began marketing the product.
After it had been out for a while, they began getting reports of the development of resistant strains of cockroaches. They ignored these, since the lab experts said it was impossible. Reports mounted, though, and eventually they had to take them seriously.
Investigations revealed that the baits worked exactly as they were supposed to... but a theretofore unnoticed (or unconsidered) fact was that there are apparently two slightly different forms of cockroaches -- some less-common varieties are sucrose averse, the other, more common ones are not sucrose averse -- And, of course, the baits were sucrose based. So what was happening was that the sucrose-eating cockroaches were getting killed off, while the sucrose averse cockroaches ignored the baits. The majority of the cockroaches would disappear, then the sucrose averse ones would thrive in the absense of the sucrose eating competition, and grow fat and sassy and plentiful.
RAID modified the bait to no longer contain sucrose, and the reports ceased -- problem solved.
The moral, of course: The Universe is far more inventive in figuring out ways of biting you in the ass than you are at preventing it from biting you in the ass.
i.e., "There is no such thing as Security. Deal with it..."
Posted by: Obloodyhell at January 10, 2009 07:38 AM
Artful Dodger... Interesting story.
The Wiki description (See "Medal of Honor flight") is a bit different, but still heroic, nontheless.
I thought this was interesting:
O'Hare's Wildcat, armed with four 50-caliber guns, with 450 rounds per gun, had enough ammunition for about 34 seconds of firing.
[Afterwards] Thach calculated that O'Hare had used only sixty rounds of ammunition for each [of the three] bomber[s] he destroyed; an impressive feat of marksmanship.
Amusing note in the "accolades" section:
On April 8, he thanked the Grumman Aircraft Corporation plant at Bethpage (where the F4F Wildcat was made) for 1,150 cartons of Lucky Strike cigarettes, a grand total of 230,000 smokes.
Can you imagine this being publicized today? Millions of libtard's heads would explode!
Another note of mild interest -- He was mentored by Lt. John Thach, inventor of the Thach Weave, a combat maneuver which is one of the few things that allowed the early slow and lumbering US F4F Wildcat fighters to hold their own at all against the fast and maneuverable Mitsubishi Zeroes. O'Hare was the guy that Thach called on to test the maneuver when he conceived of it. It later saw first combat use by Thach at The Battle of Midway, and became a basic staple of air combat.
Posted by: Obloodyhell at January 10, 2009 08:10 AM
Wondering what to post for today?
*Me* to the rescue!
Posted by: BillT at January 11, 2009 05:42 AM
Funny you should mention caulk :p
I used that with my ant problem in Mississippi. It was the only thing that helped, in the end. I caulked pretty much our whole quarters on base. My husband thought I was nuts, but it made a huge difference. I caulked all the baseboards and around the plumbing fixtures and lighting fixtures and the cracks in the cement floor in the laundry and the ants stopped coming. It was like magic.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 11, 2009 10:33 AM
Thach Weave? Do they use that in aviator thongs?
Posted by: Cricket at January 11, 2009 01:56 PM
i was just floored by the story in and of itself... by itself its grand, with the other part its bizarre.
Posted by: Artfldgr at January 11, 2009 09:45 PM
Posted by: artfldgr at January 11, 2009 10:16 PM
The Marine Shares a Room
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
"How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the Marine.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Posted by: artfldgr at January 12, 2009 03:40 PM
Oh that's awful!
I didn't see that one coming at all!
Those are my favorite kinds of jokes.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 12, 2009 03:45 PM