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January 12, 2009

They Walk Amongst Us....

The Princess didn't think it was possible to surpass her reigning fave Craigslist post:

In a search of a room in DC so that you can spend Jan. 20 standing in the bitter winter cold with thousands of like-minded souls watching the historic transfer of power from one Harvard grad to another? Look no further.

Me: Heartless, greedy right-wing oppressive type looking to make a buck.

You: Obama's election was Christmas/your first kiss/May Day all wrapped into one. You dutifully wore his button -- which you have yet to remove -- contributed money to his campaign from your non-profit job and chanted "yes we can" as if it were the 11th commandment. A strange void now exists in your life and -- like an old hippie looking to recapture the spirit of Woodstock -- you are undertaking a pilgramage to Washington for one last gulp of the Kool-Aid.

Along with my bedroom you will have access to the house's many amenities including cable television (not that you watch much TV) for viewing Keith Olberman's latest unhinged rants and CNN in high-def. Wireless internet means that the Huffington Post and DailyKos are only a click away on your MacBook. American flags and other patriotic paraphernalia in the room can be removed upon request.

The house is located in the diverse neighborhood of Adams Morgan with people of many different skin pigmentations that will allow you to revel in your tolerance. Rest assured, however, that this diversity does not extend to ideology and that you are sure to march lock-step with the prevailing sentiment ensuring that your most strongly held beliefs remain unchallenged.

Easily accessible subway and bus stops will help ensure a minimal carbon footprint while fair trade coffee is never more than a few steps away at any number of independently-owned establishments. Nearby non-chain bookstores similarly mean that tomes such as Mao's Little Red Book, Chomsky's latest masterpiece or additional copies of The Audacity of Hope can be easily purchased either for yourself or as early holiday shopping.

Rather than state a price I am requesting that you bid on this fabulous opportunity to ensure profit maximization on my part so that I can better weather the Bush Recession.

This, however, comes close:

An ovary for a ball: Fair trade, no? A 27-year-old Cleveland lawyer and Barack Obama enthusiast thinks so. On Tuesday, Lisa F. posted a Craigslist ad offering her ovary—and that of a friend—in exchange for two tickets to an inaugural ball. “We’ve exhausted all my legitimate means of finding a ticket by begging our campaign staffer friends, so we thought we would try this,” says Lisa. “Also, neither of us are currently using an ovary.”

The ovaries, which range in age from 26 to 27 years, come with no strings attached. “Today, you can get an ovary from two separate, progressively minded women who are willing to part with their internal organs for a chance to wear a party dress in the same room as President Elect Obama,” Lisa wrote in a posting under Craigslist’s “for sale” section. “These women . . . will not require an explanation of your purpose. Do you wish to procreate? Use them for science? Macabre hackey sack?”

I swear upon a stack of flushed inner Korans that I am not making this up.

If she can't get tickets to the Obama-lama-thon, Lisa is also open to swapping her internal organs (and the fate of any future progeny) for other nifty experiences:

“I’m prone to melodrama, so I might have said I’d give up my ovary for a couple other things, too—meeting Harrison Ford, for example.”

Just remember: we need laws to protect people like this from being "punished" by the consequences of their own entirely voluntary and rational decisions. This, I believe, is called "sexual liberation", and in the enlightened it can become the path to some truly higher-order critical thinking:

Along with the emancipation of women, sexual liberation has become very much a part of politics around the world. To the conservatives, both these issues challenge ‘family values’.

But what if there were no families? What if we say no to reproduction?

Hmmm... what do we have here? A member of the Patriarchy advocating the intentional non-renewal of the human species?

Now *that's* change we can all believe in....

How is this to be accomplished? Will women be allowed to *voluntarily* choose not to reproduce? Because, you know, that could be problematic... kind of like impeaching the Chimp and leaving Darth Cheney at the old wheel. Wouldn't it tend to be progressyve feminists who would choose not to reproduce, leaving the Reality Based Community to be outbred by a bunch of reich-wing, snake worshipping, knuckle dragging mouth breathers?

Or are we going to force women to abjure reproduction for their own good on the theory that they're making harmful choices with all that dreadful freedom we keep giving them?

Oh well. Math never was the strong point of beautiful dreamers. And you know that for sure. Nor, apparently, is economics:

My understanding of reproduction is that it is the basis of the institutions of marriage and family, and those two provide the moorings to the structure of gender and sexual oppression.

Obviously this dude needs to participate in one of our Battle of the Sexes comment threads. He's getting a skewed idea of who the realOppressors are on the marital stage...

*rim shot*

Careful flailing about with that broad brush, buddy.

Family is the social institution that ensures unpaid reproductive and domestic labour, and is concerned with initiating a new generation into the gendered (as I analyzed here) and classed social set-up. Not only that, families prevent money the flow of money from the rich to the poor: wealth accumulates in a few hands to be squandered on and bequeathed to the next generation, and that makes families as economic units selfishly pursue their own interests and become especially prone to consumerism.

So.... if there were no families, no one would do anything unless they were paid for it! We'd all be less altruistic and more.... more... selfish??? Now there's a win-win situation.

So it makes sense to say that if the world has to change, reproduction has to go.

That would certainly change the world. In about a generation, I'd say.

Of course there is an ecological responsibility to reduce the human population, or even end it , and a lot was said about that on the blogosphere recently (here, and here), but an ecological consciousness is not how I came to my decision to remain child-free.

Our friends the squirrels will not be at all pleased to hear that.

Because reproduction is seen as a psychological need, even a biological impulse, that would supposedly override any rational concerns arising out of a sense of responsibility, ecological or otherwise, I would like to propose emotional conditioning to counter such a need or impulse to reproduce. Using my own life as a case study, I conclude that I came to a resolve not to reproduce through largely unconscious emotional reactions . I like children, but every time I fantasized of having one, I felt pangs of guilt over how for this 'impulse' of mine, someone else would have to put their body on the line.

You know... listening to too many John Mayer CDs will do that to a fellow every time.

I used the word 'felt' to indicate how there wasn't much rationalizing on my part.

Excellent word choice. Extra points for the daft... err... make that deft way you heaped on the unintentional irony.

And this feeling went way back: I was raised in an extended family setting with a lot of women....

Well now there's a shocker.

You know, this sort of thing frustrates a lot of women, too. Even many men get frustrated when their "choices" are curtailed after marrying and having children. It's called "responsibility".

A small, nasty thing that generally follows "growing up".

Life can be so unfair. It's even more so when people actually expect you to deal with the fallout of your own decisions; or worse yet not to whine when you find out that not everything worth having in life is free.

Posted by Cassandra at January 12, 2009 07:53 AM

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Comments

And I thought fantasy/sci-fi geeks were scary. At least they KNOW they are in an alternate universe. These people have created one for the next four years...and I am well and truly frightened.

Posted by: Cricket at January 12, 2009 01:18 PM

One the bright side, they won't be propogating any time soon and thus diluting the gene pool.

Posted by: Cricket at January 12, 2009 01:19 PM

Take heart.

If 'freethinkr' is any indication, they have no plans to mate with our women... :p

Posted by: Logic, like Elvis, has left the building at January 12, 2009 01:28 PM

great minds!

Heh.

Posted by: Logic, like Elvis, has left the building at January 12, 2009 01:28 PM

I'm just trying to figure out if I can get season tickets on the 40 yard line for both my kidneys.

Posted by: Logic, like Elvis, has left the building at January 12, 2009 01:30 PM

...how I came to my decision to remain child-free.

I await with eager anticipation his next epiphany, in which he decides to become drivel-free -- and decides not to post anything, ever again, in the interest of remaining true to his convictions...

Posted by: BillT at January 12, 2009 01:35 PM

Maybe he'll take a Vow of Silence.

But then... how will we ever learn of his momentous sacrifice??? Oh, the Humanity!!!!

Posted by: Logic, like Elvis, has left the building at January 12, 2009 01:38 PM

But then... how will we ever learn of his momentous sacrifice???

Ummmmmm -- we could fly a Predator over his house once in a while...

Posted by: BillT at January 12, 2009 02:34 PM

Only if you promise to load it with munitions...

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at January 12, 2009 03:07 PM

"Only if you promise to load it with munitions..."

...and really stinky cheese.

Posted by: DL Sly at January 12, 2009 04:11 PM

OT~

Cricket - did you ever send me an email about the person we might know in common?? miss-ladybug -at- hotmail -dot- com

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at January 12, 2009 08:52 PM

I, for one, am proud of the conservatives I've spawned. And the ones they're spawning.

Onward Fertility!

Posted by: Donna B. at January 12, 2009 11:28 PM

No, I didn't...I got bogged down in rewrites.
I have a paper due at the end of this week and have been reading and re-reading...cross referencing and checking to make sure things mesh and meld. I really should have clepped out of this class, but the cost to do so was the same as taking the class, so I opted for the easy A and boost to the GPA.

Posted by: Cricket at January 13, 2009 10:15 AM

Of course there is an ecological responsibility to reduce the human population, or even end it , and a lot was said about that on the blogosphere recently (here, and here), but an ecological consciousness is not how I came to my decision to remain child-free.

I know it's been said before, but I'd like to applaud him, and the rest of the reality-based community, for sticking to their principles and refusing to procreate. I think this is a decision that all of us, on all three sides of the aisle can support.

Posted by: MikeD at January 13, 2009 10:20 AM

Important update: I am a silly blogger.

Apparently I was confused by 'freethinkr's' gender deviancy into thinking she was a he.

That just goes to show what a heteronormative twit I am: reading this line I failed to consider all the possibilities:

I like children, but every time I fantasized of having one, I felt pangs of guilt over how for this 'impulse' of mine, someone else would have to put their body on the line.

Failure of imagination.

Posted by: Cassandra at January 13, 2009 10:23 AM

...someone else would have to put their body on the line.
Failure of imagination.

Understandable, since those of us of the Broken X Chromosome set are usually the ones afflicted with Noun-Adjectival-Number Disagreement Syndrome -- NANDS -- hence, the term "NANDS-y Boys"...

Posted by: BillT at January 13, 2009 12:06 PM

Completely understandable, Cricket. I'm glad I'm done with school for a while. For now, any research and/or writing I do is pretty much on my own schedule. Too bad I have to get up and go to work every day...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at January 13, 2009 01:36 PM

As a former watcher of many horror movies, I am well-versed in the preferred techniques for dealing with mindless zombies: You gotta shoot them in the head! Brrraaaaaiinns!:)

Posted by: a former european at January 13, 2009 04:17 PM

If I only kept my house in College Park, I would make a killing next week.

Posted by: Boquisucio at January 13, 2009 04:29 PM

afe...

[tapping foot] :)

I am happy. This whole "closing the nation's capitol down for no apparent reason" thing works out well for me personally...

Posted by: Cassandra at January 13, 2009 04:43 PM

Not only that, it makes you wonder how essential the non-essential personnel are...

Posted by: Cricket at January 13, 2009 09:13 PM

could someone send him the address of vehmt?

The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement
www.vhemt.org
“May we live long and die out”

you realize that himmler and others are sitting up in their graves going, why didnt we think of that, look at all the trouble we would have saved, everyone cutting off their family trees (except pelosi, she has how many kids?)

Posted by: artfldgr at January 13, 2009 10:25 PM

oh lord.. its like the horror movie THEM!

i think i found a nest of em

www.willyoujoinus.com/discussion/

Posted by: artfldgr at January 13, 2009 10:30 PM

And this feeling went way back: I was raised in an extended family setting with a lot of women....

Hee, hee, hee... This looks like a remake of "Snow wimp and the seven lesbians".

Posted by: Tony at January 14, 2009 04:58 PM

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