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February 05, 2009

Exploding Head Time

I can't help it. Every time I see this story, I keep thinking, "too big to fail?

Our skin is crawling. Though we imagine she could always find employment with Bob Parsons.

Posted by Cassandra at February 5, 2009 08:43 AM

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Given the situation, the head wouldn't be my first choice of likely explosion hazards.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at February 5, 2009 10:59 AM

OMG... Her parents must be so proud.

That young woman needs to get down with it.

Posted by: bthun at February 5, 2009 11:13 AM

Oh, ick. Anything over a handful is excess to needs, anyway.

This woman needs a therapist, not a surgeon.

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at February 5, 2009 11:36 AM

I haven't shown this to my spouse yet.

Yikes. I am impressed she doesn't have stretch marks.

Posted by: Cass at February 5, 2009 11:59 AM

Stretch marks? With that kind of surface tension?

Posted by: Pogue at February 5, 2009 12:11 PM

Ridley Scott's Alien didn't have stretch marks either.

I do believe the law of universal gravitation will, at some point, become apparent to this young woman. But I'll not venture a guess regarding the gravitational force, mass or acceleration values.

BillT might have more insight into those area. =8^}

Ya know, this woman could modify Bob Hope's theme song just a bit and... ahhh, never mind. *looks around for the rimshot push button*

Posted by: bthun at February 5, 2009 12:22 PM

Head explosion? You have a triple KKK brain implant?

Words fail me. How does she manage to walk without falling over? Or does she bounce right back up? Does she need weights to keep her grounded?

Posted by: Cricket at February 5, 2009 12:34 PM

She's obviously compensating.

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at February 5, 2009 12:42 PM

*opens registered mail envelope*

Mr. TJ DeBille
27 Inchlong Dr.
Flingwhinge, BFE
0U812

Ms. DLSly,

It is with much regret that I must inform you that we no longer require your *special talents* on our current project. A preview of your most recent scenes revealed a startling lack of altitude for our grand alpine finale. Therefore, we have decided to take our vision in a newer, higher, more grand direction -- one that befits the giant, silver screen upon which our vision is surely destined to be shown. (As opposed to the less-than-visionary boob tube job that is quickly becoming *standard fair* from our previous director -- who has, btw, been sacked.)

Please inform your wardrobe mistress that she and her bag o' tricks are to board the next flight to our new Himalayan shoot location. Where, she will be delighted to know, she will have the great privilege of working with reknowned director Ralph the Wonder Llama.

Let's do lunch sometime.
Don't call me......I'll call you.

See Ya In Da Funny Pages,
TJ "Electric Blue" DeBille

Posted by: DL Sly at February 5, 2009 01:56 PM

It's a trick, Sly -- John traded a 12-pound Napoleon (as distinct from a Napoleon 12-pounder) and a bayonet made in Bayonne for a box of Official SBB Stationery.

[Mizz Hershey, I *distinctly* remember telling you to add "Burn After Reading" to that missive!]

Posted by: BillT at February 5, 2009 02:36 PM

I think she may have a future selling dishwashers in Denmark.

Posted by: Boquisucio at February 5, 2009 02:55 PM

As if I would *ever* trade away a Castle Artifact.

Even a bogus-Bayonne-et.

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at February 5, 2009 03:17 PM

Given the situation, the head wouldn't be my first choice of likely explosion hazards.

I dunno Yu-Ain. I am thinking she is a prime candidate for space travel.

Posted by: Cass at February 5, 2009 04:21 PM

...or maybe she's just auditioning for next year's Superbowl ads :p

Posted by: Cass at February 5, 2009 04:22 PM

She could caulk a house.

Posted by: spd rdr at February 5, 2009 05:39 PM

A gallon of silicon only goes so far.......

Posted by: DL Sly at February 5, 2009 06:01 PM

It must be heavy, don't you think?

Posted by: Cass at February 5, 2009 06:04 PM

Silicon Valley.

Three boobs for the price of two.

There's something about a 'Red Rubber Ball' song that keeps bouncing through my head.

Posted by: Cricket at February 5, 2009 06:14 PM

Well, If that were the case, I would definitely want her on my space flight. If the hull of the space ship ever did rupture we'd have our own onboard fix-a-flat.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at February 5, 2009 06:22 PM

You're right Sly, she could caulk the Hoover Dam.

Posted by: spd rdr at February 5, 2009 07:29 PM

"I've got a luverly bunch of coconuts,
There they are standing in a row,
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head (and bigger!),
Give em a pitch, a flick of the wrist, that's what the showman said."

Posted by: a former european at February 5, 2009 07:39 PM

Now you're on the right track, spd.

I would think they'd be painfully heavy. And I can't even begin to think of how close she could pull up a chair to a table. I mean, seriously, in order to get close enough to be able to eat over her plate. Does she slouch, so as to keep them under the table (so to speak)? Or does she plop them on the table like a pair of Thanksgiving turkeys?

heh
There's a mental image for the Oink Cadre.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at February 5, 2009 08:24 PM

"...she could always find employment with Bob Parsons."
Hey, I know my Uncle Bob just got divorced and all, but why are you draging him into this? (Wait, Unka Bill is tapping me on the shoulder....)

Posted by: ry at February 5, 2009 09:31 PM

Silicone is inert.

5,000 years from now, an archaeologist excavating an old Second Millennium burial ground is in for a surprise.

Posted by: BillT at February 6, 2009 03:12 AM

As is 'Motel of the Mysteries?'

Can you just imagine the speculation?

Posted by: Cricket at February 6, 2009 09:52 AM

There's a mental image for the Oink Cadre.

Speaking as a member thereof, and a man who appreciates that most mammalian of features (and who disagrees with John's handful statement)...
YUK!

Sorry, there is a point where we have gone past mammaries and entered the realm of udders. And I don't care HOW pretty a cow's eyes are, there's nothing attractive about udders.

Posted by: MikeD at February 6, 2009 12:20 PM

MikeD - my standard of quality for feminine adoration means I have a lot more availability of pleasing pulchritude than yours.

Unlike, for example, Certain People I know who can only conceive of living west of the Cascades in the PNW, I, by contrast, can find pleasing vistas all around me, where-ever I am.

That's my diet, and I'm sticking to it!

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at February 6, 2009 01:40 PM

Now now, let's not rush to conclusions here. Whereas I can definitely appreciate more than mere handfuls does not mean I spurn less. TBH though, I completely do not understand the Cascades thing. I'm hoping it's just an inside joke I'm missing.

Posted by: MikeD at February 6, 2009 04:33 PM

My guess is that it's an incredibly bad pun.

Grand Tetons?

Posted by: *sigh* at February 6, 2009 04:39 PM

Triple K? Oh good helk the puns on that alone...

Posted by: Cricket at February 6, 2009 06:46 PM

.

==========================================================

Gives new meaning to the term "Oompah Loompahs", don't it?

==========================================================

.

Posted by: OBloodyhell at February 6, 2009 11:45 PM

You know you've gone too far when you need "Crack Spackle" for your chest!

Posted by: Steve at February 8, 2009 08:18 AM

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