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February 07, 2009

Mind-sexing Obama???

File under Things I Could Happily Lived The Rest of My Life Without Thinking About:

One night, New York Times columnist Judith Warner had a dream about the president taking a shower in her house. Then a friend of hers confided that she'd had an Obama dream, too. So, Warner "launched an e-mail inquiry" to suss out whether the president was behind other women's fluttering eyelids, and she found that he is -- in a big way. Women across America are apparently dreaming about schtupping the president.

But wait! There's more of this inane drivel:

"Barack and Michelle Obama look like they have sex. They look like they like having sex. Often. With each other"

As opposed to having sex with... whom? Never ask a question unless you're prepared to hear the answer:

She writes: "In these dreams, the women replaced Michelle with greater or lesser guilt or, in the case of a 62-year-old woman in North Florida, whose dream was reported to me by her daughter, found a fully above-board solution: 'Michelle had divorced Barack because he had become 'too much of a star.' He then married my mother, who was oh so proud to be the first lady,' the daughter wrote me."

Not only are women mind-sexing Obama, reports Warner, they are also daydreaming about his actual sex life: "Barack and Michelle Obama look like they have sex. They look like they like having sex," a woman from Los Angeles writes to Warner. "Often. With each other." I get it. It's in the way they look at, touch and talk about each other. His words about his wife on election night -- "my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life" -- made me, 22 years his junior, swoon. After watching them dance at the inaugural balls, my Mom, 15 years his senior, enthused that "they make marriage look hot" and made a prediction: "People are going to start realizing that marriage can be sexy."

Who knew? I've heard rumors that married people have actual sex, but until The One ascended the Imperial Throne there was no actual evidence of this outlandish theory. Yet another thing for which we conservathugs can be profoundly thankful.

Posted by Cassandra at February 7, 2009 10:41 AM

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Comments

"Take me Mandingo! Peel me like a grape...Make me sing!"

These idiots remind me of business as usual in a PI whorehouse where the "John", or "Jane" in this case, get rolled while lost in a fog of lust.

Interesting that the recent spate of photos featuring Putin, Sarkozy, and "His pectoralness" Obama flouting their glistening selves on the world stage passes for news. More likely, it is a diversion keeping us away from the reality of realpolitik.

These clowns would make the giddy elite enjoy the fleeting pleasure of misplaced "Tingles" on the legs of a naive society.

Posted by: vet66 at February 7, 2009 11:32 AM

*Meanwhile, back at the palace our Omnipotence exclaims;*

What's that smell? Is something burning?


Oh look! Something is alight!
Then a toast!
To the servi who will provide the necessary investment of blood and sweat for the new building efforts. I salute you with the soles of my sandals.

Hey you. Miss triple-K. Bring the grapes! Do you need the serving cart?

By the way, do you like my pecs? Wanna brush my unicorn?

Posted by: Nero at February 7, 2009 11:55 AM

eeeoooww icky hairball. now I think of it, there isn't a single hot Chicago street-thug politician about. Daly? Blago? Quinn? gag me: Turbin, I mean Durbin? ok Jackson Jr. is, at least, in shape....

Posted by: Barbara at February 7, 2009 02:52 PM

Good God Almighty. Who has the brain bleach???

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at February 7, 2009 03:07 PM

Hey! Cass just came up with a great diet! I know I just lost my appetite. Although, I suppose I should be thankful that I read this before eating, at least I didn't lose my lunch.

Posted by: DL Sly at February 7, 2009 03:56 PM

All I have to say is: EEEEWWWWWWW!

Can you imagine the guffaws and ridicule if these were conservative/Republican women speaking about a Republican politician??

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at February 7, 2009 05:48 PM

Trying. Hard. Not. To. Link...

Posted by: TigerHawk at February 7, 2009 07:55 PM

Once again, I caved under the pressure...

Friendly observation that people were writing essentially the same thing about the Palins.

Posted by: TigerHawk at February 7, 2009 08:01 PM

TH ~ Yeah, she's not my type either.


Sly ~ need the brain bleach?

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at February 7, 2009 08:26 PM

I will admit that I have had a sexual fantasy or two. I swear that none of them have ever involved a politician. And I promise that I will never offer more than the above information on the internet, even if you waterboard me.


Posted by: Donna B. at February 7, 2009 10:32 PM

I recall several articles in the fall of liberals fantacising about the rape of Sarah Palin. What is it with these people?

Posted by: Assistant Village Idiot at February 7, 2009 11:35 PM

Barack and Michelle have sex with each other? Now there's a scandal.

I need to clean my eyes and need some of what Sly is using.

"I recall several articles in the fall of liberals fantacising about the rape of Sarah Palin. What is it with these people?"

Posted by: Assistant Village Idiot at February 7, 2009 11:35 PM

Please tell me you really don't want an answer to that. If you do, there will be a hugely financed study and we will hear about it forever. In the case of Sarah Palin, liberals all fantasize about losing control because they are justified. Rape is a crime of subjugation against women, not against feminist harridans.

There. I saved you fifty million dollars of the taxpayer's money and now I think I am in need of counseling.

Posted by: Cricket at February 8, 2009 12:59 AM

Oh, and why am I up so late? I am dabbling in Marxist Thought regarding sociological doublespeak.

I came here to get a breath of fresh air and sanity, only to find that liberals are doing Obama in their dreams.

Posted by: Cricket at February 8, 2009 01:02 AM

Women across America are apparently dreaming about schtupping the president.

Prob'ly the same types who read romance novels, I'll wager.

Posted by: camojack at February 8, 2009 04:01 AM

"Michelle had divorced Barack because he had become 'too much of a star.' He then married my mother, who was oh so proud to be the first lady," the daughter wrote me.

Ummmmmm -- don't they claim to be the *Reality*-Based Party?

Posted by: BillT at February 8, 2009 05:05 AM

These are the same troubled souls that think we can spend our way back to prosperity so I'm not all that surprised. Disturbed, yes - but not surprised at all.

Posted by: Steve at February 8, 2009 08:14 AM

Umm yes, they are *reality* based. In their dreams.

Of course they can spend their way into prosperity using other people's money.

I passed my Marxist Social Theory Double-speak exam. I got a 95 out of 100. This means that when some bleeding heart goes on a tangent, I can follow his/her train of thought. I am not sure which is worse: the fantasies of liberals or their thought processes.

Posted by: Cricket at February 8, 2009 09:38 AM

Cricket,

Perhaps they are one and the same. :)

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at February 8, 2009 10:34 AM

"This means that when some bleeding heart goes on a tangent, I can follow his/her train of thought."

Awww, you poor thing! You're never gonna get *that* out now.....
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at February 8, 2009 11:31 AM

Don, I think you are Correct, sir. Sly, ya got any brain bleach left?

Posted by: Cricket at February 8, 2009 04:59 PM

You'll need a Brillo® pad, too.

Posted by: BillT at February 9, 2009 12:38 AM

With or without soap?

The abrasiveness would be greatly mitigated by the sudsing action, at least before the stinging started.

Posted by: Cricket at February 9, 2009 10:01 AM

'Fraid I don't have any brain bleach left, but I do have a pumice stone on a stick and some Lava soap-on-a-rope.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at February 9, 2009 11:20 AM

I now have to write a foragainst paper on the evidence/lack of evidence of the US as a religious plurality.

I think at this point reading about people doing Obama is more entertaining and understandable.

Posted by: Cricket at February 9, 2009 08:22 PM

Heck we always knew there was sex going on in the White House when Clinton was there, after all, there was DNA. We just weren't sure it was with Mrs Clinton.

I guess the majority of sex in the Clinton White House was the type delivered under the desk by a plump pizza-delivery girl while Clinton talked with the joint chiefs (how's that for a pun) about "troop... troop... Troop... TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!! deployments".

:)

Posted by: Tony at February 11, 2009 05:26 PM

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