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February 10, 2009

Time Waster for the Ladies

Your result for The Six Wives of Henry VIII Test...

Anne Boleyn

Witty, Sophisticated, Passionate, Emotional, Stylish, Intelligent, Outspoken.

"The Most Happy"

Anne Boleyn is one of the most infamous women in history. She is also probably one of the most misunderstood. Many myths abound, including that she had a mole on her neck, and a sixth finger. This is highly unlikely, as such things were seen as signs of witchcraft, she probably would not even have been allowed in court, let alone be chosen by Henry as a mate- he desired a male heir above all else, and would never have risked a 'bewitched' son. (**In recent history, an exhumation and examination of Anne's body proved she had no deformities whatsoever.)

Anne was the second, possibly third, Boleyn woman to pass through Henry's chambers. Her mother was rumored to have been young Henry's mistress, and her sister Mary was without doubt. As their father, Thomas Boleyn, was a man with more ambition than honor, he engineered both daughters relationships with Henry, and probably did the same with his wife. But Mary Boleyn's relationship with Henry ended with an illegitimate son (probably Henry's), a sad marriage, and the nickname, "the Great Whore".

Anne was engaged to Henry Percy and had no ambitions to join in the family's power games. But as a lady in waiting to Katharine of Aragon, Anne caught Henry's eye, and Henry, had Henry Percy banished from court. Thomas Boleyn missed nothing, and set Anne to seducing Henry.

Anne was charming, witty, sophisticated, and talented in music and dance- all things Henry liked in a woman. She had no trouble bringing Henry to his knees- she knew what he wanted became all the sweeter to him when he couldn't have it. She demanded he seduce her with letters and poems, he sent her royal jewels, and she rebuffed him, refusing to give him her virginity outside of marriage.

Sometime during her father's scheming Anne fell in love with Henry. They resided together in the castle, held court with her in Katharine's throne. He granted her noble title. Finally, after being refused an anullment, Henry divorced Katharine. Henry was excommunicated from the Holy See- the beginning of Restoration.

Anne and Henry wed in 1533, and Anne gave birth so soon to the infant Elizabeth I, it's believed that the two had been secretly married in 1532 in order to consumate their union.

The marriage lasted three years. Anne failed to deliver the promised heir, which Henry saw as a sign from God that his marriage to Anne was impure. His eye was wandering, first to Anne's lady in waiting, Margaret (Madge) Shelton- also Anne Boleyn's cousin- but then particularly to Jane Seymour. Anne, ever so passionate, would not tolerate any straying from her bed. If she had taken the king from Katharine, who had been with him for decades, then her position was just as precarious. She had gotten Henry to declare Elizabeth the one heir by bastardizing Mary, daughter of Katharine, but no one outside of England recognized the child as sovereign heir, refusing Henry's offers of betrothal. That Anne requested the deaths of Mary and Katharine is rumored but not evidenced.

Following the death of Katharine, who had suffered in isolation, Henry became more convinced that Anne was a mistake. She miscarried a few days later, and it was over.

Henry accused Anne of witchcraft, questioned her virginity at the time of marriage, and high treason- adultery. The men of her court were questioned and tortured, the women of her court were largely disloyal- many of them having been in service to the beloved Katharine of Aragon before her- and gladly spoke against her. Anne was imprisoned, and there wrote letters to Henry begging for the freedom of her innocent friends and family (her brother was accused of having relations with her.) and begging for the future of her daughter. It was all for naught- her accused lovers were tortued into admission- even though some of them were quite homosexual- and murdered. Elizabeth was declared illegitimate. Anne saw the beheading of her brother George, her best friend, and probably also homosexual, through the bars of her tower window.

Anne Boleyn was executed May 19, 1536. Laying her head on the chopping block, she repeatedly commended her soul to God, and then, the scandal of christendom, the woman who caused the birth of a new religion, the second wife of Henry VIII, was beheaded.

Henry married Jane Seymour eleven days later.

Take The Six Wives of Henry VIII Test at HelloQuizzy

Here's something for the gentlemen:

Your result for What Breed of Dog Are You?!...

Labrador Retriever

Most social

America's most popular breed, the Lab is known for its friendly personality. You are probably a very friendly person, outgoing, and caring. Labs also have a lot of energy, and need to be strictly trained as puppies to harness that energy. Were you like that as a child? Maybe I should be asking your parents... lol Another breed very similar to the Lab is the Golden retriever.

Take What Breed of Dog Are You?! at HelloQuizzy

Posted by Cassandra at February 10, 2009 05:44 AM

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Katharine Parr on the Queen test, and no matter how many times I changed my answers... labrador retriever on the doggie test.

Really, I'm a Great Pyrenees -- yeah, I'll go along with whatever you want. For a little while, then I will sprawl my giant body on the floor where you cannot cross to another room without stepping over me... and when you step over me, I will slightly raise my head and wiggle my tail a bit to acknowledge you while simultaneously telling you I'm not really interested in what your are doing... unless you open the refrigerator.

Posted by: Donna B. at February 10, 2009 07:12 AM

Parr is my other 'favorite queen' among Henry's wives. I thought that was what I would come out (and I scored next highest on Parr answers).

Posted by: Cassandra at February 10, 2009 08:27 AM

I also got Katherine Parr. In the ranking it was 59% K.P. and 57% Katherine of Aragon. I always liked Ms. Parr; she seemed to be kind and very cool and level-headed in a crisis. I think she was the stability that Henry's children badly needed; but that Thomas Seymour...HOW COULD SHE?

Posted by: Cricket at February 10, 2009 09:26 AM

On the Dog Test, I am a Chow Chow. I thought that was funny, especially since my dad had a Chow when he was a kid; that dog, according to him, was smart, loyal and didn't take any carp from the other dogs. He was also very protective.

But I like Labs and Pyrs too!

Posted by: Cricket at February 10, 2009 09:31 AM

Chow Chow

The rebel!

Chow Chow
Chow Chows (or just Chows) are definately one-person dogs. They are not comfortable with other people or other dogs. They are unpredicable and can be aggressive. Not that Chows don't make good pets, but only to those who can handle them. You are equally anti-social and harsh. Not everyone understands you, but not to worry...not everyone can be Jan Brady. XD

Posted by: MikeD at February 10, 2009 09:41 AM

Snerk. Given the relative lack of interest the Blog Princess and I have in being out and about in crowds of noisy strangers, we must not mind crowds of family.

I'm a Lab, too.

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at February 10, 2009 03:55 PM

That's a fairly apt description of me, though I get a bit fried when there are too many people around even when it's family. I love it and love holidays b/c I get to have everyone over, but then I need my time alone so I can hear myself think :p

I like people. I just need a lot of space.

Posted by: Cassandra at February 10, 2009 03:59 PM

Oy, yes. One reason we bought 80 acres.



Nekkid hot-tubbing without it being an affront to God and humanity.

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at February 10, 2009 04:50 PM

Nekkid hot-tubbing without it being an affront to God and humanity.

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at February 10, 2009 04:50 PM

What about the wildlife...or is *that* the wildlife?

Posted by: Cricket at February 10, 2009 06:03 PM


Posted by: John of Argghhh! at February 10, 2009 09:26 PM

I would just like it to be noted that I left that one aloooooooooone...

Posted by: Cassandra at February 10, 2009 09:40 PM

*writing on wall with black Sharpieâ„¢*

Note: On February 10, 2009 09:40 PM, Cassandra "left that one aloooooooooone...".

Posted by: DL Sly at February 10, 2009 11:39 PM