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March 26, 2009

Great Moments in Parenting

This is the kind of thing that used to cause the Editorial Staff to tell our progeny, "You know, your real mother is wandering around Wal-Mart, looking for you...":

Rory McInnes, 18, climbed on to the flat roof of his parents' home and daubed the symbol using a tin of white paint, after watching a programme about Google Earth.

Web surfers can view detailed images from satellites using the Google software, enabling them to zoom in on their homes to see them from above.

But parents Andy and Clare did not discover their son's rude artwork until a helicopter spotted it on top of their home near Hungerford, Berks.

The pilot called The Sun newspaper, which then contacted Mr McInnes to tell him.

Mr McInnes, 54, a company director, thought the newspaper was having a joke.

He said: "It's an April Fool's joke, right? There's no way there's a 60ft phallus on top of my house."

Posted by Cassandra at March 26, 2009 10:14 AM

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Comments

You're a better woman than I am. I wouldn't even admit to adoption.

So, when is it going to get fixed?

Posted by: Cricket at March 26, 2009 11:39 AM

I would immediately have him submit to a DNA test to see who his real father was.

Posted by: vet66 at March 26, 2009 11:48 AM

Sheesh. What happened to teenagers who wrote stuff like "Rory loves Amy" so everyone could see?

Posted by: Elise at March 26, 2009 12:09 PM

Are you doing this to me on purpose?

What did I ever do to you? :-)

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at March 26, 2009 12:29 PM

But parents Andy and Clare did not discover their son's rude artwork until a helicopter spotted it on top of their home near Hungerford, Berks.

It's actually rather sedate compared to some things I've seen cut in Jersey cornfields or daubed on Manhattan rooftops.

I'll refrain from mentioning athletic activities in the rear of pickup trucks, except now I no longer wonder why they're called "beds"...

Posted by: BillT at March 26, 2009 03:16 PM

Key phrase from the father: "When Rory gets home he will be given a scrubbing brush and white spirit and he can go and scrub it off."

Natural consequences - good for him.

Posted by: Deb Conrad at March 26, 2009 03:24 PM

"Natural consequences - good for him."

Yeah, until some social services worker decides that making him clean it up is child abuse and making him climb up onto the roof is child endangerment......
*sigh*

Posted by: DL Sly at March 26, 2009 03:44 PM

The lad is 18, and living with his parents until he can afford to move out...which, after this prank, may have set back his moving fund a bit.
So, social services can't say a word. Of course, if the 'child' in question had 'decorated' the roof of City Hall in such a manner...

Posted by: Cricket at March 26, 2009 07:17 PM

On the roof under which his mother lives...

*shakes head while ambling back to trench*

Posted by: bthun at March 26, 2009 09:07 PM

'Children are ALL born with BRAIN DAMAGE!!"

Prof. Wm. H. Cosby, PhD

Posted by: MissileMan 742 at March 26, 2009 11:08 PM

Now see... doing something like this would never have even slightly occurred to me. But I get a tiny feeling this "child" didn't have much of a consequence driven childhood. I'd like to be there when he's given the tools to go clean up his little "art project", because I'm willing to bet he's probably going to whine and moan about it. But that's just my read on it.

Posted by: MikeD at March 27, 2009 09:05 AM

Son, I brought you into this world, I can take you out and make another one to look just like you.

Posted by: Cosby: Himself at March 27, 2009 10:11 AM

I get a tiny feeling this "child" didn't have much of a consequence driven childhood.

Me too.

Posted by: The Wizard of Id at March 27, 2009 12:36 PM

I was first going to chalk it up to a deprived childhood, but the photo of the little bungalow soon disabused me of that notion.

Posted by: ZZMike at March 27, 2009 03:21 PM

Deprived? Nah, I'm fairly positive that the kid is just a run of the mill roof-head.

Posted by: Norman's Vincent Peals at March 27, 2009 03:44 PM

Run-of-the-mill? Nar, tha mill at 'ungerford On Dun's been shut fer years, ever since that unfortunate leak in tha silage dam threatened tha 'edgehog presarve in tha North Wessex Downs Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty™ (NWDAONB)™.

Posted by: Spoilsport Helicopter Pilot at March 27, 2009 04:45 PM

Yes, he had a deprived childhood. He was deprived of discipline.

He needed to have more fear of his parents than he did of local law enforcement. In a manner of speaking.

Posted by: Cricket at March 27, 2009 04:54 PM

At least he didn't do it with Cheeze Whiz. That's petroleum based. When Jr. was in his younger years did the same thing with one of his buddies on the road. Yes we tried to make them clean it up but after they tried everything (including Dawn dish detergent, which by God cleaned up after the Exxon Valdeze) the stain persisted.

Solution? More Cheeze Whiz, and make it look like a rocket.

Posted by: Pooke at March 27, 2009 10:38 PM

What a dick. ~(:-0)

Posted by: camojack at March 28, 2009 04:04 AM

And to think we worry about their self-esteem...

Posted by: The Wizard of Id at March 28, 2009 07:14 AM

"And to think we worry about their self-esteem..."
Ha! I dare say the lad's sense of self-esteem might be as grand as the scale of his...ah... art.

Posted by: Thurston Howell lll at March 28, 2009 09:21 AM

And with as little reason to justify either...

Posted by: Spoilsport Helicopter Pilot at March 28, 2009 10:43 AM

Reminds me of Kim Jong Il and his Taepo-dong missile. I hope some Patriot Missile doesn't mis-identify it as being on terminal descent.

The "rocket" plumes seem inordinately small for the size of the ...dong!

Posted by: vet66 at March 28, 2009 11:46 AM

Meanwhile, at an undisclosed location somewhere in the Mid-Atlantic region, TOTUS is taking a break with a little musical interlude.

Posted by: Leggo M'Ego at March 28, 2009 11:49 AM

"The "rocket" plumes seem inordinately small for the size of the ...dong!"
Eh mate, that's what's known in some circles as Improbability Drive.

Posted by: Zaphod Beeblebrox at March 28, 2009 11:53 AM

Eh mate, that's what's known in some circles as Improbability Drive.--Zaphod Beeblebrox

Or Singularity. Maybe the mice made him do it?

Posted by: Cricket at March 28, 2009 12:25 PM

The mice instructed me to announce the solution. And so I did. The solution being,
42. The scale was in nanometers... Nanometers!

Restroom artist of a kid will probably be heading to the Nazca Plateau next.

Posted by: DEEP THOUGHT at March 28, 2009 12:49 PM

Or doing crop circles...

Posted by: Cricket at March 28, 2009 11:51 PM

Well, I thought it funny and I'm a bit miffed I'm too scared of heights to have done something similar (or, do something similar.) Some things are worth the consequences!

I do hope his parents hadn't paid for art lessons.


Posted by: Donna B. at March 29, 2009 02:32 PM

I do hope his parents hadn't paid for art lessons.

Donna, you ignorant slut :p

"Johnson on Rooftop" was a wildly exuberant and exhilarating exemplar of the Primitive genre.... as you would surely know (if you knew *anything* about penis art, that is).

[sniff!]

Posted by: Cassandra at March 29, 2009 02:47 PM

...a wildly exuberant and exhilarating exemplar of the Primitive genre....

However, by the artist formerly known as Rory's choice of such a quotidian bidimensional medium, he exhibits an annoying tendency toward that bourgeoise minimalisme so apparent in proto-Byzantine guache renditions of mundane pastorality.

Shoulda gone with the Cheez Whiz®, yanno?

Posted by: BillT at March 29, 2009 03:55 PM

Well, I believe that he showed not only a decided primitive interpretation, but symbolic representation of the morally rampant decay so prevalent among art and art critiques.

His NEA grant is in the mail.

Posted by: Cricket at March 30, 2009 09:27 AM

...The "rocket" plumes seem inordinately small...

Hmmpf. Philistine...

Posted by: BillT at March 30, 2009 10:35 AM

"...The 'rocket' plumes seem inordinately small..."

I've heard tell that dynamite comes in small packages..........but then, so does bubble gum.

Posted by: M.Lou Winsky at March 30, 2009 12:13 PM

Since when is a sixty-foot phallus a 'small package?' Moral uprightness notwithstanding?

Posted by: Cricket at March 30, 2009 12:46 PM

*waiting for the inevitable 27" zipper comment from Mr. DeBille....*

0>:~}

Posted by: DL Sly at March 30, 2009 12:58 PM

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