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April 17, 2009

As I *Suspected*...


h/t Unkawill

Posted by Cassandra at April 17, 2009 06:46 PM

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That's not fair. Where can I get one for myself?

Posted by: Boquisucio at April 17, 2009 06:53 PM

Click on the link at the bottom of the graphic. I didn't see it at first either.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 17, 2009 06:55 PM

I am not only a May Be A Terrorist, but I'm in Iraq with access to unregistered automatic weapons, explosive devices, and the Internet.

*And* I have an expired NJ Driver's License.

Fear me.

Incoherent manifesto to follow...

Posted by: BillT at April 17, 2009 07:05 PM

guilty as charged...
I will be printing it out and proudly displaying in my house.
but not at work, so I guess, I am not a suicidal May Be a Terrorist :o)

Posted by: olga at April 17, 2009 07:17 PM

I got mine!!!


Posted by: DL Sly at April 17, 2009 07:23 PM

That expired NJ driver's license is especially worrisome. Isn't driving without a license linked to Global Warming?

Ooops! Look out the window! Black helicopters! Gotta go!

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at April 17, 2009 07:23 PM

Outcast Three-Three Flight, this is One-Five on Victor -- DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE -- RTB ASAP, you've been spotted. Again. One-Five, OUT.

Posted by: BillT at April 17, 2009 08:01 PM

That helicopter needs a fresh coat of black paint. (As a semi-serious aside, I wonder how many black helicopter sightings I've been a part of when we're practicing terrain flight and zoom up over some unsuspecting campers. Their expressions are so cute...)

Posted by: Pogue at April 17, 2009 10:37 PM

Cool! I am a right wing Extremist terrorist! I will print my certified certificate out and show it off! Wish I had this when I went to the Tea Party, could have held it proudly......

Posted by: sheebe at April 18, 2009 12:53 AM

Another potential terrorist here.

Like sheebe, wish I'd had this at the local tea party. But, will display it where the secret police and CNN reporters can see it when they break down the door.

Posted by: Schnauzer at April 18, 2009 10:01 AM

Incoherent manifesto to follow...

Ummm... duh. Reich-winger? Incoherent? I think we all know that’s redundant. These folks are mentally ill, Keith. Anyone can see that. I mean, it's not like you have to be a trained psychologist to diagnose mental disorders. I listen to NPR so believe me, I know insanity when I see it. Besides, the wingnuts provide all the evidence we need each time they question our inclusive, tolerant and open-minded progressive agenda.

But isn't that just like a wingnut... err... conservative? Divisive, mean-spirited and full of hate. Who needs to refute their ideas when we can demonstrate the superiority of our values by calling them names?

We endured 8 years of them questioning our patriotism. That was just so wrong. But we won't climb down into the gutter with them - nossir. We're determined to claim the moral high ground by only questioning their sanity and calling them stupid and, like, retarded.


It's not like I haven't tried being tolerant and open-minded with these fools. I mean... I tried in 1983 for, like, 15 seconds and my brain ended up fried worse than that weekend in Vegas with the funny looking mushrooms. Never again. Nossir.

The thing is… the Bill of Rights says that we don't *have* to allow them to talk or tolerate their ignorant opinions because, like, we have consensus on our side. I mean, I think all reasonable people would agree that we're right and they're ignorant, close-minded and wrong/bad too. So there's no need to discuss it! Only a moron tolerates ideas that are wrong, and all left-thinking people can tell when dissent is not smart and progressive, but racist and anti-American.

And it's not like those yahoos would recognize truth anyway, even if we beat them upside the head with it (which we tolerantly don't do because, like, violence never solves anything). Conservatives have this brain disease where the... you know... the corpus cavernosum in their pea-sized brains grows out of all proportion to their frontal lobe. Really! It's a scientific fact! It's like ... it swells up with hatred and racism. And then mean little hate-filled voices in tinfoil hats start talking to them, telling them to KILL KILL KILL, just like their leader Dick Cheney.

I am just thankful that after 8 years of stupid, we finally have a moral, smart leader who will restore respect for America around the world. The proof that he’s much smarter than the smirking chimp is that he can wiretap Americans and deny habeus rights to innocent victims of the fascist war machine in Bagram – all without generating a single complaint from progressives like me!
Because, you know, if I were really opposed to any of these things, I’d be just as outraged at Obama as I was at the Chimp.

But the proof that Obama isn’t doing anything wrong is that I’m not criticizing him! It’s all so self-evidently self-evident that I don’t even need to explain it to you. With your superior progressive logic skills, you understand intuitively, don’t you?

Posted by: Janeane Garuffalo at April 18, 2009 10:11 AM

This explains the helicopters that fly over our hot tub at sunset when we are "soaking" in all our glory.

Posted by: vet66 at April 18, 2009 10:30 AM

For the first time ever, I think I have to admit that I should have used my steel yard stick more often...

*keys public address microphone* Janeane Garuffalo, REPORT TO THE OFFICE,

If anyone see Janeane wandering the halls, please help her by bringing her to my office.

Posted by: Sister Mary Stigmata at April 18, 2009 10:35 AM

Hmmmm. Garuffalo, Garuffalo -- ah!

I'm sorry, Sister, but bringing Janeane into the office will exceed your allowable limit of carbon-unit gasbag generation in such an enclosed area. However, for today (and today only, mind you) I am offering a limited-time, once in a solar-cycle deal: a Garuffalo-sized Carbon-Unit Gasbag Offset for the low, low introductory price of paying my electric bill for one month!

But wait -- there's more!

I'll include, at no extra charge above shipping and handling from the Cayman Islands, an autographed copy of Earth in the Balance: A Geophysical Guide to the Anthropogenic Effects of the Constellation Libra!

Sign here, please.

No, over *here* -- that X is just my countersignature...

Posted by: Uncle Al, The Kiddies' Palgore at April 18, 2009 12:37 PM

I think you all are just *mean* and full of hate.

La la la la la!!! I can't hear you!

Posted by: Janeane Garuffalo at April 18, 2009 01:22 PM

I've printed a small copy to go in my wallet. Where do we go to find out about the secret handshake? I've tried the code words, but no one seems to understand.

Posted by: Texan99 at April 18, 2009 01:29 PM

I think you all are just *mean* and full of hate.

Naw, that's just the usual gastrointestinal reaction whenever the DFAC serves camel parmigiana...

Posted by: BillT at April 18, 2009 01:37 PM

Yet another in a growing list of potential terrorists here! BTW...

One-Five, vector two-five-zero. Bogey 3 o'clock, 5 clicks, closing fast. Outcast Three-Three Flight bingo fuel, RTB. OUT.

Posted by: Ziobuck at April 18, 2009 01:51 PM

Coronet Victor Two-Seven, Outcast One-Five, relieve Outcasts departing station. Coronet Victor Three has eyes-on, contact him his Uniform push one mike out, DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE, One-Five, OUT.

Posted by: BillT at April 18, 2009 02:10 PM

First time cite! I'm Famous!!!!111!!1!!

Posted by: unkawill at April 18, 2009 10:49 PM

Hey, it was funny! Thanks for the heads up.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 20, 2009 12:52 AM