Villainous Company

Children watching adults acting like children.

Way to go, Doctor Spock.

Every year in the spring 11-year old boys cross over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. I end up spending some time with their parents trying to convince them to sign up as Scout leaders. They generally demur. One reason given is that "I don't know how to tie knots/build fires/put up a tent/etc." What I tell them is "I can teach you how to do all that. The important thing is not that you teach your kid how to tie a knot. The important thing is that you teach your kid that a parent's job is to teach their kid."

Ron,
Scouting has been teaching boys to be men for almost 100 years now. I know that's how I think about my oldest son's involvement (he's four merit badges away from Eagle). My involvement with Scouting (again after being away for ~ 30 years) in the last four years has been very rewarding. It really increases my optimism in the future.
Thanks for all you do in Scouting.

Scouting is wonderful. It teaches responsibility, self-reliance, love of country and is a lot of fun.

It also gets the boys away from their mothers so they can burn things, cut things and generally act like boys. :)

I remember seeing this poster when I was in my twenties, and it made a profound (albeit only subliminally at that time) mark in a very immature mind. I have seen it from time to time, mostly in doctor's offices these days, as the years have gone by, but I have never forgotten the meaning behind the words. And while I'm sure I fail miserably in my attempts to emulate the meaning behind those words, it is still something that sits always in the back of my mind as SWHNOB grows and learns.............and watches.

I'm sure I fail miserably in my attempts to emulate the meaning behind those words...

I fail - miserably - in my attempts to live up to my own values nearly every day. Sometimes we just have to count the small victories and keep our eye on the big picture, which (for me at least) is that a big part of who we are is what we aim for.

Before my first lad was born, I worked as a database systems analyst with about 25 men and two other women. It is my experience that it's better not to worry about purity of language, nor act offended when blue words happen in such an environment. However, I joined the other side, and though I didn't curse like a pirate, I did not always just say, "Oh, what a disappointment!" when things did not go to plan.

Then I began my stay-at-home mom life, and had my full-time personal audience learning by my example. I cleaned up my language when I saw my toddler drop something on the floor, say "Damn!" and lean over to pick it up.

I still curse like a sailor, MathMom. I know not to do it unless I'm with a good friend who isn't offended by such language, though I'm not 100% perfect in this regard.

But one of my favorite stories about my youngest boy, who was very late in talking, involves my dropping a landscape timber on my toe while trying to manipulate two 8' timbers and a circular saw. My small sons were playing in the driveway as I worked.

My husband, of course, was deployed and I was filling my time by "terraforming", as the Unit likes to call it when I get some harebrained idea about re-doing the landscaping.

I finished sawing through the timber and the sawed-off part dropped onto my foot. Some rather colorful language flew out of my mouth whilst I hopped up and down like a dwarf on crack.

Imagine my chagrin when my littlest angel, who wouldn't even say "Mama", toddled over and in an absolutely delighted voice, pronounced the word I'd just uttered:

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-i-tttttttttt!!!!!!!"

His little brown eyes danced as he proceeded to parade up and down our front walk, pausing every few steps to crouch down dramatically and then jump an inch or two into the air, punctuating the jesture with an enthusiastic enunciation of his new vocabulary word.

*rolling eyes*

As one of my fellow Marine wives used to say about her family, "We're not the Brady's".... :p

While the video is food for thought, I think it is more subtle than that. That if the parents have an entitlement mentality and are taught not to be responsible, they will pass that on to their kids.

We watch our language around our children and each other. It isn't for religious reasons, but for the simple fact that if we are striving to be gentlefolk, it does start with speech.

It is a constant effort. Kids do so many things that you would just love to either string them up on or give vent to your feelings...and that is when you have to be in control the most.

*sigh*

That if the parents have an entitlement mentality and are taught not to be responsible, they will pass that on to their kids.

Hah! I figured Cricket would pick up on my Spock snark!

My parents were not cussers (but I am). However, my Dad is a politician and my grandfather was a horse trader and park ranger by the time I came around (many careers later in his seventies). So rough language was a fact of life for me.

I knew what I was not supposed to say, what was pushing the line, and what I could get away with. To my father's delight (seriously, I'm not being sarcastic here) I came up with a chart one day when I was about 8 that detailed when I would be allowed to say certain words. A cuss schedule, if you will.

I brought it to my Dad and he thought it was wonderful. He made a few changes, and then posted it on the frig (the "f" word, for one, was under the never category). It was still on the frig when I turned the age for use of the word crap in minimal circumstances.

I think back on that now and laugh my behind off in glee. For some reason it became a very treasured memory. Plus it taught me (or rather, I made the self-realization, which was probably what tickled my dad so much) that life isn't about getting everything all at once, but a process with steps involved.

Cass is lying. She does not cuss like a sailor. At least not last weekend she didn't. I, on the other hand, made Carrie blush a few times, I believe.

Well, you gotta admit, Cass got her "tougue-tied" offspring to start talking! So, there is that...

uh..."toNgue-tied"...

I, on the other hand, made Carrie blush a few times, I believe.

Yeah, but that was when you pulled your shirt over your head and began dancing on the table while we were waiting for drinks...

/AND I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!

Yeah, but that was when you pulled your shirt over your head and began dancing on the table while we were waiting for drinks...

Which table and which time?

*snort*

Which table and which time?

Did Maggie authorize that?

Cheaper to ask forgiveness than permission.

At least that's what I've heard :p
Not that I'd know anything about that sort of thing.

"I, on the other hand, made Carrie blush a few times,..."

NFW!!!!!
I'll only believe that when I see it.
0>;~}

"Cheaper to ask forgiveness than permission.

At least that's what I've heard :p "

*peeks out from Dark Corner....ducks back in*
Nope ain't gonna touch that one.
Not gonna doit.

*snnicker*
0>;~}

"Cass is lying. She does not cuss like a sailor."

Well, you're right about that, HF6. She cusses like a Marine..........Wife.

heh
0>:~}

Feh. Damned Army firewall won't let me see the vid... except for the pic of the kid and his gesture.

Which is funny - because I *almost* responded to Cassie's missive of this morning about what crime I would accuse her of... and all I could come up with, aside from "inattentive driving while composing War and Peace-length posts in her head" was... "giving a rude Cop the finger."

Mainly because it is *so* not like our shy, retiring, and oh-so-proper Princess.

That said, Sly, Carrie, and HFS, heh, I expect that's so common as to be... unremarkable.

Which -- the table-dancing or the cussing?

"...and all I could come up with, aside from 'inattentive driving while composing War and Peace-length posts in her head'..."

Nah....she wouldn't even get a ticket for that because she'd ask the cop what he thought about [current War and Peace-length post topic] and then get into a debate with him on the merits of both sides of the discussion until he looked at his watch and said, "Damn, I'm late for my donut break!" and sped off.

0>;~}

Maggie didn't authorize it but, if you've seen the pictures, you'd know that she was up there dancing *with* me.

And *both* are unremarkable...at least in my world.

No wonder traffic was stopped. That must have been some table dance. My mother detested Dr. Spock.

I read things like 'The First Twelve Months of Life' and 'How to Have a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor.'

As much as I hate to admit this, I am so glad I had a mean mom.

Heh, Cricket. For the longest time my Mom thought Dr. Spock was the Leonard Nimoy character on "Star Trek". Pro'ly had something to do with the fact that it was the regular show after football on Sunday and less to do with *progressyve* ideals. "Progressive" in our house was a dealer's option in draw poker.

0>:~}

I am a big fan of Heinlein. His books, while being good stories in their own right, also often had much social commentary in them. One of my favorites of his is "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress".

With respect to children, our society has already gone over the cliff. How can you encourage a respect or reverence for children in a society where abortion on demand, with little or no restrictions, is a fundamental right? The line between abortion and infanticide is far thinner than most would like to think and, I would argue, essentially a legal fiction.

So are children a precious and priceless treasure, or a burdensome lump of protoplasm to be eliminated at will?

Second, our society has essentially abandoned any pretext of attempting to discipline children so that they can grow up properly and with character. Instead, we come up with new disorders and diseases, syndromes and conditions, to explain away infantile, bratty behavior. We make excuses for those parents too lazy, or immature themselves to engage in the difficult task of instilling proper upbringing in their children. The "me" generation of, on the whole, narcissistic, self-indulgent twits, who laughed at their parents hokey "traditional" values, has had no small part in driving us over this cliff.

Finally, we have essentially given up on providing a real education for our children. Schools are a real disaster in many parts of the country, and incompetent in the rest. Political indoctrination, social engineering, and union protectionism are now all deemed to outweigh the importance of teaching our kids to think and understand the world.

Thus, you are ringing the fire bell after the house has already burnt down. Our society long ago decided that children just really weren't all that important compared to other things. To assuage any residual guilt for putting themselves and their own convenience ahead of kids, people will throw money at broken school systems and other "programs" to show how much they care "for the children". What they WON'T do is fundamentally change their attitudes and lifestyles to make a real difference in kids' lives. Our society lives by taking the easy way out, now.

I agree with you, afe.

But to a large extent, the problems with our children reflect our own behavior. We are not leading by example.

If there is one thing I learned as a parent, it's that children pay more attention to what we do than what we say. And I think we - conservatives included - are falling down in that regard.

But I'll have more to say about that shortly :p

I've fallen and I can't get up!

Zoinks! Cassandra agrees with AFE! Is there a comet or a full moon tonight?

I would also add that a vast portion of the parenting population have abdicated their responsibility to set an example to *others* - be they petulant, million-dollar athletes threatening to not honor their voluntarily signed contracts because they want yet another million dollars; rappers who think that racist, misogynystic lyrics are *art*; or the virtual thugs and mercenaries in video games.

"Did Maggie authorize that?"

But of course I authorized it my Darling Chief! I took care of all of my posse.

On the Scout leader thing. When my younger son was little my ex (who had been a leader for the older son's Cub Scout Den) had changed jobs and wasn't available after school. I was asked to step up and tried to wiggle out of it. After all, I was a true city girl. I knew nothing of camping and building fires (maybe how to put together a molotov cocktail....but I digress).

But the Troop Master came to talk to me on my own, away from the big meeting with all the parents. Dick said "I've known you from all the summers you spent here as a child and now as a grown woman. Are you telling me that you can't figure out stuff at the same pace as 10 year old boys?" LOL I was in. It was great. Especially watching them walk across that bridge to the next step. It was horrible. Especially sleeping in a bag on the cold hard ground. My ex husband in the next bag laughing when my son decided to unzip my bag and crawl in just as I dozed off fitfully. And the father who showed up with two sandwichs as provisions for him and his son for a weekend.

The two other parents who wouldn't prepare their kids for the meetings.

Lot's of time the house was a disaster after the meeting and I was exhausted.

But we earned our badges together and I had a hand in molding four fine young men.

You're only a failure if you don't try. never pass up the chance to help a kid.

What have I done?
I have provided my children shelter, clothing, food and tuition.

What have I done?
I have filled their lives with senseless treats, mindless threats, and lifelong lessons, many of which I believe myself.

What have I done?
I have counseled, most often cluelessly, occasionally fruitlessly, and at times stupidly, about the temptations to be found swirling in the pool of the adult swim.

What have I done?
I stood up.

But if I caught any one of my offspring smoking, I'd certainly kick their ^&%$#@# ass.

You do the math.

You do the math.

Posted by: spd rdr at April 30, 2009 07:48 PM

Try Obama's inspiration Lincoln, he comes in handy explaining what 100 Million Dollar Budget Cut really means and what we are passing on to the children.

http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/2009/04/100-millon-dollar-budget-cut-how-to.html

Thanks, Ree. But I've never had much success in explaining financial responsibilty to children secure in prospect of their next meal.

Thank their mother.