May 06, 2009
Fear and Loathing in DC
D.C. police responded to a report of a suspicious package this morning at 18th and I streets NW that turned out to be an empty can inside a newspaper box. The investigation created traffic jams through the morning rush, but everything is now all clear.
D.C. police and fire officials were called to the scene about 8 a.m. and closed nearby streets to set up their emergency response.
Alan Etter, a spokesman for the D.C. Fire and Emergency Medical Services Department, said the agency sent a battalion chief and equipment to the area "in case it was something harmful."
The scene was cleared at 9:45 a.m., and all streets have been reopened.
An empty can. Inside a newspaper box. Just imagine if it had been something really scary, like a Starbucks cup under a park bench or a cigar box on a fire hydrant.
This happens time and time again. If it isn't a misdirected UPS shipment that has us quaking in our boots, it's the possibility that we might catch a relatively mild form of an illness that many of us already deal with every year. We close streets. We close schools. Why?
It's a jungle out there. Be careful, my friends.
Posted by Cassandra at May 6, 2009 08:56 AM
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I used to believe that terrorists just had to disable any five random traffic lights for ten minutes to throw all of DC into a 12-hour gridlock.
Now, it appears that they'll just have to place five empty coffee cans in five random newspaper boxes.
Posted by: Bill The Dirty Rotten Torture ApologisT at May 6, 2009 09:40 AM
"Empty can in newspaper box"
No wait! That's Arlen Specter!
Posted by: spd rdr at May 6, 2009 09:52 AM
Bada boom! Bada bing!
Posted by: Frilly Panties of Fascism at May 6, 2009 10:26 AM
Forget the terrorists. This is just some party-goers on the way home from a bender. They have the foresight to disrupt the morning commute, sleep in, sober up, then arrive for a half day of work blaming it on al qaeda.
What happened to common sense? I can picture Zawahiri in Pakistan getting his morning brief; "I got blamed for what??? We need to do a cost analysis on our nuclear option from Pakistan's arsenal. This is much cheaper!"
Posted by: vet66 at May 6, 2009 10:57 AM
Speaking of empty crap left in newspaper boxes:
New York Times chairman Arthur Sulzberger was asked about the March 30 The Bulletin report that his paper intentionally did not use information that might be deleterious to the Obama campaign.
Julian Gammon, a minority shareholder, asked the question during the annual shareholders meeting in The New York Times offices on April 23.
“He said he didn’t know anything about it and told me to give the details to his staff assistant and she would get back to me,” Mr. Gammon told the Bulletin in an email.
Mr. Gammon said that he gave all the information to the assistant – including a copy of the Bulletin story. To date he has not received a reply.
All the News That Fits Our Mood
Posted by: spd rdr at May 6, 2009 11:34 AM
That is why commenting should be left to the professionals
Posted by: spd rdr at May 6, 2009 11:35 AM
HEYYYYY - 18th and Eye St?
My very first job right out of college was right at that address. I'm not kiddin'. For two years I worked on the second floor of International Square. I would take the Red Line right Farragut West, and pop out right into that building.
I have good memories from that address.
Posted by: Boquisucio at May 6, 2009 12:27 PM
I don't miss D.C. at all...
Down he'ah, in the back forty, the big news in traffic disruption is usually something along this line.
Hmmm I wonder could Ahab be behind this after all?
Posted by: The-Manchurian-bubba_hun at May 6, 2009 01:08 PM
Oh you mean like THIS?
Posted by: Boquisucio at May 6, 2009 01:48 PM
heh. I was just told that I'm "the smartest guy in the whole world."
Before I have to go investing in a host of new Red Sox caps to fit my newly enlarged head, would you good folks please remind me that Obama is, in fact, the smartest guy in the whole world, and that I'm merely a distant second?
Posted by: spd rdr at May 6, 2009 03:08 PM
"would you good folks please remind me that Obama is, in fact, the smartest guy in the whole world"Is not!
Posted by: TotUS at May 6, 2009 03:18 PM
...please remind me that Obama is, in fact, the smartest guy in the whole world...
You're thinking of Hillary.
Yeah, I know.
Posted by: BillT at May 6, 2009 03:47 PM
You're thinking of Hillary....
...on a treadmill :p
spd just fainted.
Posted by: Cassanda at May 6, 2009 04:29 PM