« "Small Acts of Intellectual Dishonesty" | Main | OMG! WE'RE ALL GOING TO.... ummm.... never mind »

June 23, 2009

Sweet Mother of God

Not since the junior Senator from Massachusetts threatened to raze Capitol Hill in a manner reminiscent of Le Khmer Beige have we seen such a dazzling display of cultural relevance:

As you know, I had Pakistani roommates in college who were very close friends of mine. I went to visit them when I was still in college; was in Karachi and went to Hyderabad. Their mothers taught me to cook,’ said Mr Obama.

‘What can you cook?’

‘Oh, keema … daal … You name it, I can cook it. And so I have a great affinity for Pakistani culture and the great Urdu poets.’

‘You read Urdu poetry?’

‘Absolutely.

Remind you of anyone we know? Allow us to note how absolutely delicious we find it to hear the former Senator from Illinois developing a suave multi-culti patois that is... dare we say it... downright Kerryesque?

"I'm fascinated by rap and by hip-hop. I think there's a lot of poetry in it. There's a lot of anger, a lot of social energy in it. And I think you'd better listen to it pretty carefully, 'cause it's important."

And who can forget the good Senator's legendary forays into the wild and wooly depths of the faith based community:

Continuing his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination, John F. Kerry addressed (by telephone) a conference convened by that racist hustler and prevaricator Al Sharpton who won, if I'm not mistaken, exactly one delegate [ouch!] at the party convention in 2004. According to The New York Times yesterday, in what appeared to be rather inchoate remarks, Kerry used Iraq as a trope but offered a ten-point plan for the nation from soup to nuts ... well, from getting Osama bin Laden to legislating lobby reform. The Times alluded to Kerry's well-known verbosity. So it wasn't surprising that he also went off and said, "Not in one phrase uttered and reported by the Lord Jesus Christ, can you find anything that suggests that there is a virtue in cutting children from Medicare." I'd actually go Kerry one further: I doubt that Jesus ever mentioned Medicare at all. Still, it's probably significant that some presidential aspirants--Kerry, for one--want to demonstrate that there are among them some real live Democrats for God. Or, as the Times said about him, he is "A Roman Catholic, who has struggled at times to talk about his own faith ...

Now at this point the half-vast editorial staff were almost moved to intervene on behalf of the hapless Junior Senator from Massachusetts, but we confess that we were helpless with laughter:

Mr. Kerry also told the group that he believed 'deeply in my faith'." Now, there are many Catholics including high ecclesiastics who doubt this. But who am I to have a point of view on what is essentially an intramural fight? In any case, as it turns out, Kerry is not only a Roman Catholic but also an ecumenicist. Once again I rely on the Times: Kerry asserted that "the Koran, the Torah, the Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles had influenced a social conscience that he exercised in politics." My God, what bullshit politicians feel obliged to utter! Or maybe the bullshit is already second nature, or even first. But since Kerry raised it, let me ask: What hadith of the Prophet influenced him the most, and why? And here I have a personal interest: Which of the injunctions of Leviticus and who among the Prophets have the most meaning for him? Ordinarily, of course, I wouldn't ask such personal questions of a politician. In the spirit of Jesus, Kerry will certainly forgive me for doing so.

The next four years should be extremely entertaining.
These politicians. They are of the most amusing, n'est pas?

Posted by Cassandra at June 23, 2009 08:39 AM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.villainouscompany.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/2974

Comments

Great quote from Dawn: "... to become America’s first non-White president."

Mr Iqbal seems to have a glazed look in his eyes. Maybe a "who is this man?" thought.

"As you know, I had Pakistani roommates in college who were very close friends of mine."

In other words, "some of my best friends are Pakistanis".

"‘You read Urdu poetry?’
‘Absolutely.


That, I would like to see. Or even hear him tell us which Urdu poet he prefers. (I certainly hope Urdu poetry is better than Vogon poetry.)

Posted by: ZZMike at June 23, 2009 02:57 PM

Let me share some Urdu poetry with you...


ek nazar dekh ke ham jaan gaye

ek nazar dekh ke ham jaan gaye
aap kyaa chiiz hai.n pahachaan gaye

phir bhii zindaa huu.N ajab baat ye hai
kab se vo leke merii jaan gaye

tum jo aaye the merii mahafil me.n
dil gaye haath se imaan gaye

jis raah par farishte na pahu.Nche
us jagah aaj se insaan gaye

After all, we want to read it in the original Urdu to get the full effect, non?

Urdu poesy
Elegant cantos call me
Read it tho' I can't.


Posted by: Explosives-certified Right Wing Nutjob Retired Army Gun Nut at June 23, 2009 03:16 PM

Does he prefer his qeema with kulcha or paratha?

The ghazals, particularly those of the Betrayed Irony genre, such as "Jis waqt mera ghar jalta tha us waqt ka manzar mat poocho", are more poignant than their Vogon counterparts, but require considerable training to sing properly.

Urdu poetry *is* sung, BTW -- not recited.

Posted by: BillT at June 23, 2009 03:17 PM

...phir bhii zindaa huu.N ajab baat ye hai...

*tsk*

It's better transliterated as "hfeer bhee zinda'a huh-oon ajhab ba'at jheh hai". Nuance *counts*, yanno...

Posted by: BillT at June 23, 2009 03:23 PM

What part of "Read it tho' I can't" confused you, old man?

Posted by: Explosives-certified Right Wing Nutjob Retired Army Gun Nut at June 23, 2009 03:49 PM

My preference is for Klingon poetry, read on Raisa, the Pleasure Planet, while skinny dipping with a certain FO.

Posted by: Imzadi, the Betazed at June 23, 2009 03:55 PM

We've all had that guy corner us at a party and find an excuse to work some obscure, trendy, and entirely ersatz enthusiasm into the conversation. "I'm writing a thesis on the relationship between mime and architecture." Of course you are!

If we'd known he'd be elected President someday, we might have been more polite.

Posted by: Texan99 at June 23, 2009 05:00 PM

What part of "Read it tho' I can't" confused you, old man?

Sorry, I was momentarily distracted by the mental image of a bearded Voracious Bugblatter wearing an orange jumpsuit.

I can see how you'd be nonplussed reading Urdu poetry in Urdu, but what's the hassle with an *English* transliteration?

Sheesh. Field Grades.

Posted by: BillT at June 23, 2009 05:04 PM

"I'm writing a thesis on the relationship between mime and architecture."

To which you obviously replied, "Fascinating! Now, could you mime being trapped in a Necker cube?"

Posted by: BillT at June 23, 2009 05:10 PM

I think I'm going to bury you in a bog and recycle you as firelighters.

Posted by: Bearded Voracious Bugblatter Beast of Traal wearing an orange jumpsuit at June 23, 2009 05:44 PM

I think I'm going to cite four random paragraphs of So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish and watch you sprain your code trying to generate it as a url...

Posted by: BillT at June 23, 2009 06:50 PM

...besides, sticking me in a bog won't work -- Cliodhna thinks I'm *cute*...

Posted by: BillT at June 23, 2009 07:01 PM

Obama and da Dems telling lies? SOP for dat gang.

"I think I'm going to bury you in a bog and recycle you as firelighters."
Dat sounds like a variation on da good ole what do you call a guy what's buried in a bog? joke.
Pete, o-course.

Wadda ya call a Chicahgo politician in da White House?
SOSDD for da Chicahgo Democrat Mosheen wit maybe a dash of, how did dat Texan lady put it, excess success prior to da epic fail.

Posted by: Good Fellows at June 23, 2009 08:20 PM

Being mimed trapped in a Necker cube? How about his interpretation of him being a Rubik's cube and someone trying to solve it?

Speaking of being 'buried in a bog' and what one calls Windy City politicians in the White House, what is Obama's approval rating?

Posted by: Cricket at June 23, 2009 08:27 PM

"what is Obama's approval rating?"
He was approved for up to two trillion, but he and the Congress have blown through that in his first 120 days.

We need to cut off and cut up his Treasury Express card.

According to Rasmussen,
BY THE NUMBERS
and
Demographic Notes - Barack Obama Approval Index.

Posted by: bt-the resident-curmudgeon_hun at June 23, 2009 08:49 PM

But he's still on his honeymoon and blaming The Shrub is just about played out. Time to put up or shut up. *oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please... shut up*

Sheesh, I thought Jimmy Carter was obsessed with having his mug and voice on the air. JC is minor league.

Posted by: bt-the resident-curmudgeon_hun at June 23, 2009 08:54 PM

Oy Vey! Necker cube schmecker cube...

Zat fellow had a straw up his nose causing his brain to behave like a gerbil in a bouncing wire-framed icosahedron.

But zen he found religion and politics, not necessarily in zat order, und za rest is history.

Vach his ears ven he speaks und how he has to tilt his head back so he can vizually focus on TotUS. Power burns.

Posted by: Albert Beerinstein at June 23, 2009 09:06 PM

"watch you sprain your code trying to generate it as a url..."

ctrl-c and ctrl-v are your friend.

Posted by: Trimly Bearded Voracious Bugblatter Beast of Traal wearing an orange jumpsuit and cute little bunny at June 24, 2009 10:24 AM

Snerk. I just discovered there is a limit as to how much url the Blog Princess will tolerate...

...sez the Trimly Bearded Voracious Bugblatter Beast of Traal wearing an orange jumpsuit and cute little bunny slippers.

Posted by: Trimly Bearded Voracious Bugblatter Beast of Traal wearing an orange jumpsuit and cute little bunny at June 24, 2009 10:26 AM

And I am not now, nor have I ever, worn a cute little bunny.

Because I know you wanted to know.

Posted by: Cute Little Bunny-Free Bugblatter Beast at June 24, 2009 10:27 AM

And I am not now, nor have I ever, worn a cute little bunny.

He *has*, however, impersonated an anthropomorphocized wooly mammoth masquerading as a field mouse.

Because I know that *one* of you was drinking a caffeinated beverage.

Was...

Posted by: Kate Moss' Long-Lost Hubby, Pete at June 24, 2009 11:34 AM

Oh, for pity's sakes. Can *none* of these people (meaning men in power) keep their pecker in the general container they contracted for?

Sheesh.

This is just so aggravating.

Posted by: Exasperated Right Wing Knuckle-Dragging Myrmidon at June 24, 2009 02:59 PM

And can an Exasperated Right Wing Knuckle-Dragging Myrmidon put his comment on the correct post? Apparently not.

Sigh. I guess that's what I get for being all judgemental.

Posted by: Exasperated Right Wing Knuckle-Dragging Myrmidon at June 24, 2009 03:01 PM

Could be worse. You might've posted it in the "Just Fifteen Words" thread and *really* embarrassed yourself.

Ehhhhhh, after a quick mental review of the Mickey pic, nah.

Posted by: BillT at June 24, 2009 03:20 PM

Heh. I should post that pic, just to make people hate you.

Posted by: Exasperated Right Wing Knuckle-Dragging Myrmidon at June 24, 2009 05:41 PM

Too late. I can throw a ton of sympathy cards to counter.

*And* I have gaw-juss blue eyes...

Posted by: BillT at June 24, 2009 06:00 PM

"*And* I have [a] gaw-juss blue [thong]..."

There, fixed that for ya.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at June 24, 2009 10:55 PM

*You* were supposed to be testing the new vanilla butter-cream icing for the diorama.

Just to insure it flows convincingly for the avalanche sequence...

Posted by: BillT at June 25, 2009 02:07 AM

mmmmmm....vanilla butter-cream frosting on chocolate cake...

Posted by: Cricket at June 25, 2009 08:35 AM

Umm....I know you are not talking to me! Shirley, you must be talking to my wardrobe mistress.

hmmmph!
0>;~|

Posted by: DL Sly at June 25, 2009 12:28 PM

I’m gonna make a movie called Ball Shot Record Scratch Awkward Silence Butt Shot, I’m going to make millions, then I’m going to start stabbing homeless to death.

Posted by: traubensilberkerze at January 10, 2010 06:20 AM

Post a comment

To reduce comment spam, comments on older posts are put into moderation 5 days after the last activity. Comments with more than one link also go into moderation. If you don't see your comment after posting it, try refreshing the screen. If you still don't see it, your comment is probably in the moderation queue.




Remember Me?

(you may use HTML tags for style)