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June 12, 2009

Who's a Terrorist?

Watching the right and left sides of the blogosphere squabble over whether James Von Brunn more closely resembles a pachyderm or a jackass is the comedy gift that just keeps on giving:

It's hardly been 24 hours since James Von Brunn allegedly walked into the Holocaust Museum and shot museum guard Stephen Johns. But already conservatives from Rush Limbaugh to Red State have started advancing their latest up-is-down meme: Von Brunn -- a white supremacist consumed by hatred of Jews and blacks, who has called for President Obama to release his birth certificate -- isn't really a right-winger -- in fact, he's a lefty.

Let's count off the examples:

Yesterday, a guest from the "Ayn Rand Institute" argued to Fox News's Glenn Beck that because Von Brunn is a racist, he must of course be "a phenomenon of the left." In response, Beck accepted that logic, and wondered: "How did it happen that you look at people that are Nazis and you say that those are right wing? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever!"

Yes, it's totally baffling.

Not to be outdone, Rush Limbaugh too declared Von Brunn "has more in common with the marchers and protesters we see at left-wing rallies," according to video just aired on MSNBC.

But it's conservative bloggers that have really taken this idea and run with it, though. Yesterday, Eric Erickson of Red State tweeted:

I am sorry but I find it utterly impossible to take any post seriously that contains the words, "So-and-so tweeted". I am sure that Eric Erickson is a very nice young man but grown men simply do not tweet.

That aside, did someone drive a wooden stake through the beating heart of irony while I was at lunch?

I realize that in certain circles it is considered the height of tolerant, enlightened sophistication to wallow in the astonishing parallels between mere political disagreement and paranoid schizophrenia. But surely even the irony impaired ought to be able to grasp the frothing idiocy behind playing Pin the Ideology on the Deranged Psychopath? Oops, spoke too soon. Dare I suggest that bursting into a public building and wasting innocent bystanders is perhaps not the act of a rational soul with a coherent world view? Furthermore, mass murder seems just.a.tad higher on the scale of Things That Should Earn You A Very Loooooooong Stay In Prison than ... oh gosh, I don't know... voting Republican?

At any rate, all this posthumorous registering of dead whack jobs to the other party to score political points (or tut-tutting about how a government report that warned that in the future, right wing whack jobs might recruit returning OIF and OEF vets was vindicated by some 90 year old, WWII-era PT boat geezer because, as Jean-Fraude so notably informed America, milvets all have raging PTSD, receive paramilitary and explosives training, and are mentally scarred from torturing helpless puppies) got me wondering: who were most of the terrorists and terrorist conspirators over the last 10 years?

The answers are pretty interesting:


The categories are fairly arbitrary because some of these nutbags had more than one reason for committing or planning terrorist acts and in some cases I had to make a judgment call. Some of them were a real doozy. But stereotype away!

The list I used is below the fold. It may be missing items since it took FOREVER to compile, but then I'm not getting paid for this. It's an amalgam of several lists online. Enjoy.

1. Jan-00 2000 Millenium Attack plots* al Qaeda
2. Oct-00 Firebombing. Temple Beth-El destroyed Ramsi Uthman
3. Oct-00 Molotov Cocktails, Temple Adnath Israel Mazin Assi
4. Apr-01 2000 terror attack white supremacists
5. May-01 Burned building, UWA ELF eco terrorists
6.Sep-01 WTC, Pentagon 19 Islamic terrorists
7. Sep-01 Anthrax Bruce Ivins
8. Dec-01 Plot against Darryl Issa, King Fahd Mosque* JDL
9. Dec-01 Shoe bomber* Richard Reid
10. May-02 Mailbox pipe bombing Lucas John Helder
11. May-02 Dirty bomb* Jose Padilla
12. Jul-02 Shooting, El Al ticket counter, LAX Hesham Mohamed Hadayet
13. Sep-02 Lackawanna Six* Faysal Galab Sahim Alwan Yesein Taher Shafal Mosed Mukhtar al-Bakri Yahya Goba
14. Oct-02 Beltway Sniper shootings John Allen Muhammed
15. May-03 Brooklyn Bridge Plot* Iyman Faris
16. Jun-03 Va Jihad Network* Ali al-Timimi
17. Aug-04 NYSE bombing plot* Dhiren Barot
18. Aug-04 MSG Subway plot* James Elshafay and Shahawar Matin Siraj
19. Aug-04 Murder of Pakistani diplomat NYC - plot* Yassin Aref and Mohammed Hossain
20. Aug-05 LA NG Plot* Jamiyyat Ul-Islam Is-Saheeh
21. Aug-05 LAX bomb plot Assembly of Authentic Islam
22. Dec-05 Oil attacks plot* Michael C. Reynolds
23. Feb-06 Toledo bomb conspiracy* Mohammad Zaki Amawi, Marwan Othman El-Hindi, Zand Wassim Mazloum
24. Mar-06 UNC Chapel Hill - car attack Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar
25. Apr-06 Sears Tower, FBI bombing plots* Narseal Batiste, Patrick Abraham, Stanley Grant Phanor, Naudimar Herrera, Burson Augustin, Lyglenson Lemorin, and Rotschild Augstine
26. Jul-06 NYC train tunnel plot* Assem Hammoud
27. Jul-06 Jewish Federation shootings Naveed Afzal Haq
28. Jan-07 Liquid explosive plot* 24 British Muslims
29. May-07 Fort Dix plot* Jordan, Turkey and Yugoslavian jihadists
30. Oct-07 IED attack Mexican consulate Unknown
31. Feb-08 UC Santa Cruz animal rights
32. Mar-08 Torched homes ELF eco terrorists
33. May-08 Pipe bombs - Fed. Courthouse unknown
34. Jun-07 JFK bombing plot* Russell Defreitas Abdul Kadir Kareem Ibrahim
35. Jul-08 Church shooting Jim D. Adkisson
36. Aug-08 Firebombing, UC Santa Cruz animal rights
37. May-09 Tiller abortionist killed Scott Roeder
38. Jun-09 Little Rock recruiter shooting Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhamma
39. Jun-09 Holocaust Museum shooting Wenneker von Brunn
40. Jun-09 Video Terror plot* Syed Haris Ahmed

Posted by Cassandra at June 12, 2009 07:07 AM

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Excuse me, but in my unit we tortured kittens. The mewlings haunt me.

The puppies, those are the voices in my head.

Posted by: Explosives-certified Right Wing Nutjob Retired Army Gun Nut at June 12, 2009 12:54 PM

The mewlings haunt me.


Posted by: Cassandra at June 12, 2009 01:05 PM

"The puppies, those are the voices in my head."

Better that than the piddle on your shoe, I s'pose.

Posted by: DL Sly at June 12, 2009 01:27 PM

Greetings infidel defilers, may your stomachs all roast in Hell for eternity for your transgressions against the Dar i Islam! Peace be unto you, at least until we bring your worthless lives to a short and violent end!

Rejoice! As the new CEO of Jihadis R Us (tm), a new amalgamation of formerly independent death distributors Al Quaeda, Hamas, Hezbollah, Dirty Jew Must Die, and Kill, Kill, Kill!, I am pleased to announce we are poised to increase our domination of the death-dealing market. The pie chart above shows us presently controlling only %67 or so of the market. We fully expect to increase our market share to over %90 due to our bold new moves.

By combining forces, we increase our power in the market just like Walmart. No one will be able to challenge our ability to bring death as quickly and efficiently as possible. Vertical integration of the entire death process, from abuse, to torture, beheading, and then finally death, provides additional efficiencies that our competitors (those left alive) simply cannot match.

We have also had great succes with our initial marketing campaign, "Obey us or else!". Even NOW representatives have shut up for the first time in recorded history! Internally, we have bosted employee morale with our catchy new corporate jingle "Alllaaallllaaalllaalllaaalllaallaahhhh!!!"

While smiting and slaughtering the unrighteous (pretty much everyone except us) keeps our workers busy, we still find time to become good corporate citizens of the Great Satan. For example, it is well known infidel schools lack basic supplies needed for proper education of students. We have therefore donated thousands of hijabs and Korans to local schools! Your welcome, blasphemer dogs!

In addition, our line of Jihadi exploding action figures have really overtaken or eliminated the competition. GI Joe is now a forgotten memory, Barbie's Malibu Dream House is a smoking crater (Ken was recently beheaded for his crimes against Allah), My Little Pony voluntarily converted to My Little Camel, and the torture killing of Stretch Armstrong was too heinous even for us to mention. The Jack-in-the-box antenna balls should soon be exterminated, leaving only that evil Crusader Monarch, the Burger King, still at large.

Yes, our share of the market, revenues, and stock are all expected to skyrocket on this latest report. Join us, or die! Would you like a prospectus?

-- Mullah Sayeed Omar bin Sadr

Posted by: a former european at June 12, 2009 01:39 PM

OMG. I had forgotten how funny he is.

There is only one afe :)

Posted by: Cassandra at June 12, 2009 01:50 PM

This guy was an avowed socialist, but is a supporter of Ron Paul, thought Christianity was a hoax that led to the fall of the Roman empire, said he fought on the wrong side of WWII, was a member of a political group that was generally considered right leaning until William F. Buckley tossed them out on their ear, but hates W, and believes 9-11 was an inside job.

Good Lord, this guy couldn't hold a could hold a coherent thought (much less political philosophy) in his head if he had an entire Sam's Club worth of duct tape.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at June 12, 2009 02:07 PM

Oh, but you see, you just PROVED he's an evil Rethug!!! After all, anyone who doesn't vote Democrat is a crazy criminal who should be locked up.

[slapping self]

I've got to stay out of the comments sections of some of these sites :p The hate there could fill an ocean.

About half my family are Dems and none of them are like that. But there must be some kind of winnowing effect online. Good God.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 12, 2009 02:16 PM

We visited the Oklahoma City Memorial while driving to the duty station before this one - they had just these sorts of statistics up, charts and everything. It was simultaneously fascinating and terrifying.

Posted by: airforcewife at June 12, 2009 02:29 PM

It's interesting to think, too, that these are only attacks on American soil. Also I know I am missing several. I found a major ELF act of terrorism after completing this but don't have time to go back and do it over again and I think I remember another one occurring when we were in soCal. So I know the list is deficient.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 12, 2009 02:33 PM

ELF is irrelevant since we took out their shadowy leader, the Keebler. His cookies were decadent temptations of the Great Satan, meant to lead pious Muslims astray! There were no fudge-striped Tollhouse cookies in the time of the Prophet (pbuh)! He is buried in an unmarked mass grave along with those evil Iraqi falafel vendors. Praise be to Allah!

-- Mullah Sayeed Omar bin Sadr

Posted by: a former european at June 12, 2009 03:45 PM

He is a socialist that supported Ron Paul?

Oh.My.Gaia. I know several people who are Paulians, and they (these people..not Paulians..dunno about their platform) are at worst, anti Israel. Not to wiping them off the face of the map, but for the US supporting them.

Posted by: Cricket at June 13, 2009 09:41 AM

You knocked off the Keebler ELF? I betcha ya found his secret ingredient: Pork fat.

Posted by: Cricket at June 13, 2009 09:44 AM

Ron Paul is my representative. He really seems to hold the office for life; he's been there forever. No one ever even mounts a serious campaign against him.

I find him very interesting on libertarian issues. It's refreshing to send an email stating a position on some bill or other and have him answer quite openly that he intends to oppose it because he doesn't think the government has any business, say, taking a position on any aspect of contract law at all. Wow. Refreshing, but wildly impractical. Still, I wouldn't have that much trouble with him if his libertarianism didn't include an apparently absolute prohibition on any foreign policy other than strict disengagement.

Posted by: Texan99 at June 13, 2009 12:10 PM

Ron Paul...

"Refreshing, but wildly impractical. Still, I wouldn't have that much trouble with him if his libertarianism didn't include an apparently absolute prohibition on any foreign policy other than strict disengagement."
Agree with that as a summation of my view of Mr. Paul.

He does hold tightly to his convictions and makes no bones about it. I fairly like the fellow for all those reasons. Just not as POTUS.

Posted by: bt-the resident-curmudgeon_hun at June 13, 2009 12:31 PM

Ah. That explains the anti Israel stand...I think. Like I said, I don't know if that is part of the Paul platform or not.

At least you got a response. When I was in Sam Farr's district (via the privilege of absenteeism), I would get six page screeds on an issue or bill that was totally irrelevant to the reason I called.

You think that the reason he hasn't been unseated is because that is how Texans in his district perceive government? As interfering?

Just curious and wanting to hear it from one of his constituents.

Posted by: Cricket at June 13, 2009 05:10 PM

I would have expected Lone Whack Jobs to score much higher. I see that I've been unfair in my estimation of them as a class.

Posted by: Grim at June 15, 2009 05:26 AM