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July 19, 2009

Decency

I'm sorry about the lack of blogging lately folks.

Lately I've been having a tough time reconciling my values with blogging. I began writing because an old friend kept telling me she thought I had something valuable to say. After all these years, I'm still not entirely sure what she saw in me.

For as long as I've been writing, I've tried to stand up for what I believe in - whenever possible, without attacking other bloggers directly. I've always thought the important thing was the ideas, not the personalities. We ought to be able to disagree civilly even when there are strong beliefs at issue.

One of those beliefs is that in most cases, the Golden Rule makes a pretty good starting place for dealing with others. If you wouldn't appreciate something being done to you or to someone you care about, don't do it to someone else.

Sometimes, it really is that simple. Try thinking about how your wife or teenaged daughter or sister would feel in the same position. This may be really hard for some people to understand, but not all women want men they don't even know looking at them in the nude.

I shouldn't have to say this, but apparently it does need saying.

I guess I wish more people on my side of the political fence would treat women as human beings who have the same feelings as they do. This doesn't make me a feminist. In my book, it just makes me someone who believes in decency and it's a measure of how far we've strayed from our professed values that it needs to be said at all, or that such a stance requires a defense or an explanation.

Posted by Cassandra at July 19, 2009 11:32 AM

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Comments

I'm sorry about the lack of blogging lately folks.

*tsk*

All you ever have to say is "Don't pay the ransom -- I escaped!"

Posted by: BillT at July 19, 2009 01:39 PM

Amen, Cassandra, Amen!

Posted by: lela at July 19, 2009 01:44 PM

Hear, hear! Very well said.

Posted by: S.Logan at July 19, 2009 01:54 PM

Hey, as one blogger chick to another, I have to say that I LOVE hearing from you. I rarely see a post of yours that I don't end up pumping my tiny fist in the air and shouting "Yea! What SHE said!"

Don't ever forget that the nature of humanity is that your detractors and critics will always seem louder than the people who are inspired by you. I, personally, am glad to read what you have to say. At least I can know that I'm not the only one thinking it. ;)

Posted by: Jewels at July 19, 2009 02:12 PM

Also... Bill T cracks me up.

That is all.

Posted by: Jewels at July 19, 2009 02:13 PM

Cassandra, I like your ethical stand on the crime against Erin Andrews. Don't you dare quit blogging! I'm adding you to my blog list immediately.

Posted by: Stogie at July 19, 2009 03:43 PM

Thanks, guys.

I don't want to turn this into me vs. the big, bad world or me up on a soapbox. That's an uncomfortable place to be.

This is just something that's been bothering me for a very long time. Elise's comment on the abortion thread (about not knowing how we got to this point) made me realize that no matter how much I dislike flame wars and the like, I needed to say something or I wasn't going to feel right.

It seems to me that these days, even with all the hot air we bloggers generate, there's a lot we don't talk about. I am not sure why that is, but I do think it has a lot to do with where we are as a society - we're uncomfortable drawing clear lines in the sand and then defending them. I don't think we need to attack others who don't agree with us, but I do think that sometimes lines need to be drawn.

Not a very good explanation.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 19, 2009 04:56 PM

What Bill and everyone else said M'lady...

I wonder, was it due to being raised as a southern boy in a different age. A time when a young boy was taught to respect his elders and be deferential to the fairer creatures. Maybe it was the result of being blessed with a loving mother, a dear sister, a loving wife and two daughters that carved a sharp line delineating right versus wrong conduct towards women in my mind?

Or maybe it's due to growing old enough to know that the mind and character, heart and soul if you prefer, are the essence of a person, be they male or female. And one should always hew very closely to the golden rule. And if your character is so barren of honor, then do so for no other reason than the cosmic balance usually prevails.

This sort of thing seems to be not so uncommon any more. And how may will blow it off as being no big deal? I dunno...

What I do know is that if anyone ever targets one of the ladies in my life with the sort of vicious, exploitive, disrespect shown to the subject of this story, I hope the legal system administers justice upon their sorry arse before I do. Because if it does not, I surely will.

Ah well, BLT & beer break is over, back to the barn I go.

Posted by: bthun at July 19, 2009 05:15 PM

When we read about "The Dark Ages", we tend to think of time when there was little knowledge about, and many of our so-called European ancestors lived in the Darkness of Ignorance.

We (that's all of us) are heading into a new Dark Age. It will be a Dark Age of behavior, public and private morals, and quite simply a Dark Age of the Golden Rule. People will behave in an ever more grotesque manner in public, and that will pass for the accomodation of the day, and be accepted as the norm (whatever that is, on any given day).
Many of us will probably not live to see the end of it; perhaps our children will not see the end either. It has been getting worse for most of my life, and it is accelerating toward whatever the bottom is that passes for values these days.

It will be up to some to keep the lamp of decency and civility burning, to keep alive the remnant and memory of a more civil age, and pass it down, like the monks in the ancient monasteries kept the written word alive, until our so-called civilization is ready to take these values to heart again.
Regardless of how dyspeptic you may feel on any given day, and how chapped your bottom dollar may feel, you, Cassandra, keep a light glimmering in the growing darkness.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at July 19, 2009 06:27 PM

'Decency, values, civilly, Golden Rule'

Those are concepts you don't hear enough of these days. It is refreshing to see them before you on the screen.

In any case, in this day and age where personal privacy is a commodity to be sold to the highest bidder (Girls Gone Wild), Paparazzi stalk people like a big game safari, and degenerate attacks on Palin use made up dirt if none is to be found, I am amazed that we still can be surprised by the proclivities of these degenerate perverts.

The Golden Rule has been perverted to the old standby; "Do unto others before they do unto you."
I find that offensive in the extreme and am not afraid to say so. Speaking of feminists, I presume we can expect a denunciation of this behavior forthwith? Or will they comb the victim's personal life until they find, or make up, something that proves she asked for it?

I wonder where Perez Hilton is?

Posted by: vet66 at July 19, 2009 06:47 PM

I wonder where Perez Hilton is?--vet66

Must we?

heh.

I am speechless.

'gimlet-eyed snark?'

Bwahahahahaha...

Posted by: Cricket at July 19, 2009 07:02 PM

Cassandra,

Please allow me to echo what the others have said. Women - all women - are the greatest thing since sliced bread and/or saran wrap. But they are more essential to the survival of us all.

As my compadre and shipmate bthun eloquently stated, some of us come from a time when women were special.

Now it seems as though most are just guys minus the fifth appendage. But the ladies and women I know are all special people to me and are held a bit higher in my mind. I have not been involved in an episode of a pugilistic nature over a woman in quite some time, but I would not hesitate to step into the fray if needed. And if it is one of MY women (the Bride, daughter, sister or even my dog), all bets are off. If I were to sense that I was in jeopardy, the equalizer would appear. No fight you lose is ever fair.

Just a thought.

And a final thought. Your posts ARE thought provoking and inspirational. If you go, you will be sorely missed, I guarantee.

Semper Fidelis!!

K

Posted by: Kbob in Katy at July 19, 2009 07:02 PM

I have enjoyed reading your posts for some time, and I am sorry that I have not taken the time to say so before. I see what your friend saw in you, and I would be saddened if you were to stop out of a sense that no one appreciated your sense, your wit, or your ability.

Posted by: Mark Woodworth at July 19, 2009 09:55 PM

Thank you, Cass.

I don't know who the lady is, or what the video contains, but I will certainly not forward it, look for it, or mention it to others. I'm sorry to hear that she was treated in this manner, although I don't know anything about her other than what is contained at your link. It is most unfortunate.

Posted by: Grim at July 19, 2009 10:19 PM

As Kbob said, "And a final thought. Your posts ARE thought provoking and inspirational."

Keep writing, there has to be some sanity in the world.

Posted by: Russ at July 20, 2009 03:22 AM

"I began writing because an old friend kept telling me she thought I had something valuable to say."

I cannot help but agree with the aforementioned "old friend".

Please keep on writing; you have most excellent communication skills, and as you pointed out, some things apparently do need to be said...

Posted by: camojack at July 20, 2009 03:43 AM

Some things do, indeed, need to be said -- and I'll refrain from saying them here because

1. Our Hostess says them better and

2. I *really* have to strain to maintain my objectivity in some areas.

Regarding the subject of the video, for instance, I was going to elucidate on the merits of imposing a good old-fashioned horsewhipping upon the perpetrator until the living skin peeled in sheets from his body, but then I lost my composure and almost strayed into advocating violence...

Posted by: BillT at July 20, 2009 06:23 AM

Cassandra,
I know what she saw in you. You are realist, but you also have standards. The left might think we have rose-colored glasses on, and maybe that is true to a certain extent, but it doesn't change the fact that what was done to this reporter was Wrong, wrong, wrong. Period.

Forgive me for trying to raise the dead horse, but I did want to try to make the connection regarding Ms. Prejean and doing what is right.
Her personal stand was attacked. But in spite of her personal stand, she also did not follow through on her contractual obligations, and you rightly pointed that out.

If you are going to take a stand, you have to live up to that in all you do, personally and professionally. We call it integrity.

No, no one is perfect, but I think what I like the most about your blog is your willingness to apply a standard of behavior and decency to both sides of the aisle and to not stoop to their level.

It keeps me thinking, it keeps me coming back here. I may not always comment, but believe me, sometimes reading your blog is as good as any sermon simply because I *know* you live as you teach or share.

In this case, I concur with Bill and must add that someone had to have had advance knowledge of *who* would be in the room and when, and then installed the camera, or someone who is a pervert and took the videos of whoever occupied the room.

It would be interesting to see if that is indeed the case, as hotel management would certainly want to know.

Posted by: Cricket at July 20, 2009 09:06 AM

Not to be contrary, but my understanding has always been that "treat[ing] women as human beings" is more or less the definition of feminism. For my part, I disagree with most of what you write, but I find it a pleasure to read and I hope you keep it up in spite of the flaming.


That said, I would be heartbroken if you came away with the impression the bullying you've received is indicative of the mindset of all "leftists." Remember that many of us feel as though we are the ones who have been shouted down for the past eight years and are probably taking out our bitterness on thoughtful, honest bloggers like yourself. That's no excuse for being sore winners, though, and if it were my place to apologize on behalf of my liberal counterparts, I would. Please understand that most of us are as committed to decency as you are and that I, for one, am happy to stand side-by-side with my ideological opponents in its defense.

Posted by: grifter at July 21, 2009 10:57 PM

I'm late to this post and to your blog in general, but I must concur with your fans and friends above, and especially with grifter. While I come from the opposing side politically, I enjoy reading your take on things, even when I disagree with you. (Perhaps one day I'll argue my points, but for now I'm satisfied getting the lay of the land, here.)

I like how you treat others, and the fact that you apply the same standards to friend and foe alike. Too many of us--including me, at times--fail to do that.

I believe it's important to draw the lines for oneself, and to argue for why one believes them to be right for others, too. While this does open one up to charges of being holier-than-thou (and taken too far, one can become that), it's important to stand up for what one believes in and to try to impart it to others, even if only by example.

From what little I've read of you so far, your old friend was right. You do have something valuable to say. From my POV, it's more about your way of approaching topics more than what you actually say about them (though I'm sure most here value what you say at least as much as how you say it; I AM a lib, after all), but regardless, it is real, and it is worthy. Keep it up.

Posted by: repsac3 at July 28, 2009 01:32 PM

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