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August 17, 2009

Double Entendre Contest

Something Fausta sent gave me an idea for a contest:

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.

8. Viagra, like a rock !

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra , Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:



1. This is your peepee. This is your peepee on drugs

Go ahead, people. Do your wurst in the comments section.

Posted by Cassandra at August 17, 2009 08:08 AM

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Comments

"It keeps going...and going... and going..."

(Energizer)

Posted by: Chinese-Jewish Mexican American Lawn Chica at August 17, 2009 08:37 AM

'Do our wurst' in public?

Hm...Just what I need after counting Paramecium on slides. Lemme get back with you.

Posted by: Cricket at August 17, 2009 08:39 AM

*Army* strong!

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 08:51 AM

(And for the Ladies)

It's not just a job -- it's an adventure!

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 08:56 AM

The gift that keeps on giving...!

Posted by: vet66 at August 17, 2009 09:42 AM

Viagra: double your entendre.

I am so the wiener!

Posted by: smitty at August 17, 2009 09:48 AM

"Double your pleasure. Double your fun" :p

Posted by: Chinese-Jewish Mexican American Lawn Chica at August 17, 2009 09:49 AM

"Just do it" (Nike)

Posted by: Chinese-Jewish Mexican American Lawn Chica at August 17, 2009 09:51 AM

I'm going to the Bad Place for this one:

"Once you POP, you can't STOP!”

Posted by: Chinese-Jewish Mexican American Lawn Chica at August 17, 2009 09:57 AM

Takes a licking and keeps on ticking...

Posted by: Timex at August 17, 2009 10:31 AM

Plumps when you cook it. (Ball Park Franks)

We thank you for your support (Bartle & Jaymes)

A Great Weekend in Every Box (Bisquik)

Without us, some guys would starve (Carl's Jr.)

Posted by: Cricket at August 17, 2009 10:33 AM

Viagra - when little things don't mean a lot!

Posted by: RIslander at August 17, 2009 10:42 AM

"Can you see me now?"

"No wonder so many doctors now recommend King-Size Viceroys."

"You've come a long way baby."

"See Yourself as a King"

"Viagra - It's everywhere you want to be."

"Gets the red out."

Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 11:08 AM

Ooo! Ooo! But wait! There's more!

"Best Thing for FurBurgers Since the Bun"

"BIG PICKLE CRUNCH in every bite."

"It's the best tastin' pickle I ever heard."


Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 11:09 AM

And just because...

"While in Europe, pick up an ugly European."

Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 11:10 AM

Oh, you're going to regret me waiting on this compiler...

"Melts in your mouth, not in your hands."

Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 11:13 AM

"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. "

Okay, I'll leave some for the rest of you.

Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 11:13 AM

"When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight." (Fed Ex)

"You've come a long way, baby." (Virginia Slims")

"Where do you want to go today?" (Microsoft)

"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." (Almond Joy/Mounds)

"It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken." (Perdue)

""When you care enough to send the very best" (Hallmark)

"Drivers wanted." (Volkswagen)

and....

"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"


Posted by: spd rdr at August 17, 2009 11:13 AM

Yes...yes...YES!!!!"

Posted by: Herbal Essence at August 17, 2009 11:27 AM

We try harder!

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at August 17, 2009 11:53 AM

Like a rock

things go better with...

Where's the beef? (a real mood ring destroyer which leads into)

plop, plop, fizz, fizz

The quicker picker upper(wild and crazy guy)

got milk?

Don't leave home without it(Sam Kinison can explain it)

Snap, crackle, pop (obviously doing it wrong)

You're in good hands (poor, ronry Kim misses Madeline)

We try harder

To the poor stiff
we humbly dedicate
this pill to help him
win a date
Burma Shave

Posted by: bt_the-beatnik_hun at August 17, 2009 12:00 PM

The other white meat. (pork)

Posted by: Cassandra at August 17, 2009 12:01 PM

Own a piece of the rock. (Prudential)

Posted by: Cassandra at August 17, 2009 12:03 PM

Viagra - "We don't make your _________, we make your __________ harder" (BASF)

Posted by: DhimmiThis at August 17, 2009 12:12 PM

Hmmmm. Burma Shave...

Every shaver
Now can score
with Six more inches
Than before

Viagra...

Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 12:13 PM

Early to bed
Early to rise
Was meant for those
Old fashioned guys
Who didn't use
Viagra!

Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 12:14 PM

Half a meter
For Fifty dollar
At the drug store
Simply holler
Viagra!

Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 12:15 PM

You'll love your wife
You'll love her paw
You'll even love
Your mother-in-law
If you use
Viagra!

Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 17, 2009 12:17 PM

OMG. That was hilarious :p

Posted by: Cassandra at August 17, 2009 12:28 PM

If you thought *that* was funny, you should see the RFP he wrote while he was multitaksing...

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 01:13 PM

Ummmm. "...multitasking..."

That's what i get for trying to type and breathe at the same time...

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 01:15 PM

"TAKSing" might actually mean something to me - Texas Assessment of Knowledge & Skills... It's the standardized testing done here in the State of Texas for grading student, school & teacher performance. Given there are multiple exams (starting in third grade with reading/language arts & math, continuing - and adding exams - up through high school).

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 17, 2009 02:03 PM

*manfully restraining self from jumping on the straight line*

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 02:14 PM

Just because I always seem to be one to play it straight doesn't mean I expect you too ;-)

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 17, 2009 02:19 PM

I didn't want to chance a repetition of the hayride incident.

*koff*

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 02:40 PM

However, I *did* find it amusing that you'd mention "teacher performance," considering the subject matter at -- ummmmmmm -- hand -- errrrrrrr...

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 02:43 PM

And multiple exams...

Posted by: Cricket at August 17, 2009 03:11 PM

...up through high school.

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 03:13 PM

"The Power To Be Your Best" (Apple)



I'll let everyone fill in the blanks when I mention simply - 'Bic's slogan'.



Burger King has more than one offering, I think - "It takes two hands to hold a Whopper"



"When you've got it, flaunt it" (Braniff Airways)



They could take a tip from Dial Soap - "People who like people like Viagra"



I think these companies have already stolen from Delta Airways - "Ready when you are"



"Any time, any place, any where" (Martini)



"So much more to enjoy" (Pepsodent)



"Wot a lot I got" (Smarties)



"Expanding Possibilities" (HP)



"Go to work on an egg" (British Egg Marketing Board)



Yup, more pickles - "At last. A pickle that bites back" (Marcus Valley Pickles)



'Why Viagra? Because 'The first time is never the best'" (Campari)



This just sounds utterly dirty - prudes please look away - "Feel the Velvet" (Black Velvet Whiskey)



I guess there might be a market for a slogan based on that of Courage Beer - "It's what your right arm's for"



Ericsson really is only off by a letter...I'll let you figure out which letter to remove - "Make yourself heard"



Again, prudes please move along to a nicer comment: "It's so big, you've gotta grin to get it in" (Wagon Wheels)



It's probably not fair to use this one, because I've never heard of the product, but I couldn't resist:



"Soft, strong and very long" (something called Andrex Toilet Tissue - c'mon, you laughed, I know you did!)

Posted by: Falze at August 17, 2009 03:20 PM

OK, that's like a million extra line breaks - sorry about that!

Posted by: Falze at August 17, 2009 03:20 PM

I'm not wondering about the extra line breaks -- I'm wondering why you thought there were prudes and "nicer" comments anywhere in this mosh pit...

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 03:33 PM

Heh :)

Great slogans! Now I don't feel quite so bad about some of the ones I thought of (and didn't post).

What was that toothpaste that had the Danish looking blonde in the commercial in the 70s?

All I recall is the tagline:

"Mmmmmmm.... it's a great feeling!"

*running away*

Posted by: Cassandra at August 17, 2009 03:36 PM

See. I did it again, completely without intending anything like that. At least I wasn't talking about myself this time...unlike that hayride story...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 17, 2009 03:39 PM

Face it, Miss L -- you're an inspirational instigator.

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 03:41 PM

Pearl Drops Tooth Polish?

Posted by: Falze at August 17, 2009 03:43 PM

That's it!
I knew there was a "pearl" in the brand name, but couldn't recall the whole thing.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 17, 2009 03:45 PM

Five Dollar Footlong...(Subway sandwiches)

Posted by: twolaneflash at August 17, 2009 04:02 PM

"Promise her anything -- but give her..." (Arpège)

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 04:11 PM

...but couldn't recall the whole thing.

Whoa...

Posted by: BillT at August 17, 2009 04:12 PM

"I'm wondering why you thought there were prudes and "nicer" comments anywhere in this mosh pit..."
No, no, no, no... This is the snarkpit. The mosh pit is room 12A, just along the intertube corridor.

Posted by: MR. VIBRATING at August 17, 2009 04:14 PM

Where the rubber meets the road.

The ultimate driving machine.

Put a tiger in your tank.


Never let ‘em see you sweat.

A silly millimeter longer.

Better living through chemistry.

Ask the man who owns one.

In the valley of the jolly--ho-ho-ho!

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Posted by: bthun at August 17, 2009 04:26 PM

Takes the waiting out of wanting. (Access Credit Cards)

Think what we can do for you. (Bank of America)

The Greatest Show On Earth. (Barnum & Bailey)

Feel the Velvet. (Black Velvet Whiskey)

When you've got it, flaunt it. (Braniff Airlines)

Go to work on an egg. (British Egg Marketing Council)

Ya-HOOOOahooooo....(Yahoo jingle)

A little dab'll do ya! (Brylcreem)

It makes you feel like the man you are. (Buick)

See what we mean. (Canon)

The first time is never the best. (Campari)

Now they whisper to her...not about her. (Cashmere Bouquet Soap)

Come home to a real fire. (British Coal Board)

We won't make a drama out of a crisis. (Commercial Union)

We keep your promises. (DHL)

One leg at a time! (Dockers)

Prepare to want one. (Hyundai)

Many Happy Returns! (IBM Selectric Typewriters)

Because it's your stuff. (Iomega)

Born 1820 - Still going strong. (Johnny Walker)

The best to you each morning. (Kellogg Cereals)

Top breeders recommend it. (Pedigree Dog Food)

Posted by: twolaneflash at August 17, 2009 04:43 PM

When you turn it on....does it return the favor? (Cadillac)

Posted by: DL Sly at August 17, 2009 04:52 PM

Good to see you DL!

Posted by: bthun at August 17, 2009 05:12 PM

What can blue do for you? [a slight shift of the UPS commercial]

Posted by: LittleRed1 at August 17, 2009 06:33 PM

My bologna has a first name, it's oscaR.

Posted by: RetRsvMike at August 17, 2009 07:46 PM

A lift for life at 10, 2, and 4. (Dr. Pepper)

A silly millimeter longer. (Bensen & Hedges)

Mama mia! Atza some spicy meatball! (Alka-Selzer)

How many licks does it take? (Tootsie Roll Pops)

And something I mentioned on my blog recently, from a Mackeson radio ad I heard in the West Indies back in the 70s: "My man gets some every day."

Posted by: wheels at August 17, 2009 09:13 PM

Viagra... Connecting people. (Nokia)

Viagra... Because [she's] worth it. (L'Oreal)

Viagra... [for] the ultimate driving machine. (BMW)

Viagra... So easy a caveman can do it. (Geico)

And this one isn't American/Western, but I couldn't resist...

Viagra... Neighbor's envy, owner's pride (Onida TV in India)

Posted by: Naughty Fuzzy at August 17, 2009 10:50 PM

"I'm Lovin it!"
"Nothin says lovin like my muffin!"
"It’s everywhere you want to be."
“M’m! M’m! Good!”
“Finger lickin’ good.”
“Fill it to the rim with Viagra.”
“Can you hear[feel] me now? Good.”
“Think outside the bun.”
“Breakfast of Champions.”
“Don’t leave home without it.”
“Betcha can’t eat just one.”
"Are you in good hands?"
"make seven up yours"
"Maybe she's born with it ~ maybe it's [viagra]"
"Don't take my gusto away from me" --Shlitz
"Go for the gusto"
"Head for the mountains of Busch"
"You can't beat our meat" --http://www.joeandalsgrocery.com/meat.html
"Is it in you?"-Gatorade
"If Your Neighbor Doesn't Like it, We Probably Did Everything Right"—(Infiniti)
"When you got it, flaunt it." (Braniff airlines"
"The antidote for civilization." (club med)
"Capitalist tool." (forbes)
"Give us 20 minutes and we'll give you the world." (wins radio, NYC)
“Hey Mikey…He Likes It!”
“Once You Pop, You Can't Stop.”
"You’ve come a long way, baby"
"We bring good things to life"
"The happiest place on earth."
"Put a tiger in your tank."
"Don’t get mad. Get GLAD."
"It’s not just for breakfast anymore."
"Better living through chemistry." (DuPont)
"It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." --Parker Pens

Posted by: Charles Ziegenfuss at August 17, 2009 10:53 PM

I can't believe I ate the whole thing. (Alka Seltzer)

The relief goes on. (Allegra)

For fast, fast, fast relief. (Anacin)

Think outside the box. (Apple)

Sheer driving pleasure. (BMW)

If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face. (Carl's Jr.)

Have it your way. (BK)

I'm lovin' it! (McD's)

We love to see you smile. (McD's again)

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at August 17, 2009 11:13 PM

Viagra - Nothin' says lovin' like something in the oven. [Pillsbury frozen bakes goods]

Posted by: I call BS at August 18, 2009 12:10 AM

"Viagra - the antidote for civilization" [Club Med]

Posted by: I Call BS at August 18, 2009 12:13 AM

“Viagra - Vorsprung durch technik.” [Audi]

[roughly "moving forward through science"]

Posted by: I call BS at August 18, 2009 12:18 AM

"Viagra - M'm! M'm! Good!" [Campbell's soup]

Posted by: I Call BS at August 18, 2009 12:20 AM

“Viagra - Your flexible friend.” [Access – no date available]
“Viagra - If it's on, it's in.” [Radio Times – no date available]
“Viagra - Breakfast of champions.” [Wheaties 1935]
“Viagra – It’s good for you." [Guinness 1929]
“Viagra, because Happiness is a warm gun” [Lennon & McCartney]
“Viagra... Because I’m worth it.” [L'Oreal – 1967]
"A Viagra day helps you work, rest and play."[Mars (candy) 1965]
"Viagra - Tastes so good pussies ask for it by name." [with insincere apologies to Meow Mix 1976]
“Viagra - The future's bright. The future's Blue." [Orange 1996]
“Viagra - Ask the man who owns one." [Packard, 1925]
“Viagra - Lipsmackin' thirstquenchin' acetastin' motivatin' goodbuzzin' cooltalkin' highwalkin' fastlivin' evergivin' coolfizzin' Viagra." [Pepsi-Cola 1973]
"WotalotIgot!" [Smarties (candy) 1961]
“Viagra - Reassuringly expensive." [Stella Artois (beer) 1981]
“Viagra – [don’t] Think Small." [Volkswagen 1962]
“Viagra – the appliance of science” [Zanussi 1981]

Posted by: I Call BS at August 18, 2009 12:44 AM

This post contains "Double Entendre Contest".

Posted by: Viagra at August 18, 2009 03:56 AM

"Think with yer dipstick." (Castrol)

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 18, 2009 09:01 AM

OMG. I hadn't heard that one!

Posted by: Cassandra at August 18, 2009 09:14 AM

12A..would that be Donovan's place?

*running off*

Posted by: Cricket at August 18, 2009 09:20 AM

I was watching a movie last night and that ad came on. I'd seen it before. It's got this Scottish guy running around whacking people with a dipstick, saying "Think with yer dipstick"...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 18, 2009 10:13 AM

Ewwwwwwww. They showed that on *TV*?

Oh.

*A* dipstick, not *his* dipstick.

Never mind...

Posted by: BillT at August 18, 2009 01:28 PM

I'm sure if I *really* wanted to see that, I could find it on TV. We do have cable. Then, there are all those spammers who post inappropriate images to The Victory Caucus forums, and I seem to be the only admin-type cleaning that sort thing up. I have better things to do with my time, but I'm not just gonna leave that trash out there. Guess I need to make sure I don't go a whole week without checking up on it....

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 18, 2009 02:01 PM

I'm sure if I *really* wanted to see that, I could find it on TV. We do have cable.

Meh. If you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at August 18, 2009 07:01 PM

The only thing I miss about television was the Clio Awards. Brilliance in advertising.

Posted by: Cricket at August 18, 2009 09:05 PM

OK - forgive me if there is something wrong with me but, based on the topic at hand (heh. pun intended), I had to read Cricket's comment above TWICE because of the 10th word.

oy.

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at August 18, 2009 10:37 PM

Oy, indeed.

I had always thought they were the "Cleo" Awards -- named after the basset hound in that Jackie Cooper sitcom from the '50s.

Posted by: BillT at August 19, 2009 03:49 AM

*the hun assumes the position*

Posted by: bthun at August 19, 2009 10:16 AM

Viagra: Bring enough gun.
:The hardest part is keeping it in the garage.
:It's all about the ride.
:For everything else, there's Mastercard.


Posted by: Old Gaijiin at August 19, 2009 03:24 PM

They are. I was tired. I am still tired. I have a sewing student coming over and I still have two dresses and a top to cut out for the Princess...two Eagle service projects to review before they go to the Council and Florin to blame for it. I am swamped.

Posted by: Cricket at August 19, 2009 10:09 PM

lol, Cricket...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 19, 2009 10:39 PM

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