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August 19, 2009

It's Not Just a Job... It's an Adventure

OK, so I've been trying to figure out how to bring this up.

One of the things military spouses figure out pretty quickly is that life is full of speedbumps. Recently the Blog Princess was reminded of the truth in that old maxim.

You have to love a man who chooses his moment carefully... though I do believe that announcing (at 4:30 in the morning, no less) to a woman who hasn't had her first cup of coffee yet that his presence is urgently required in Afghanistan may be pushing the envelope. Brave men have died for less...

...though not while standing in the shower, dripping with manly soap suds. Trust is a beautiful thing, n'est pas?

So - moving right along, the question of the day is: what to do with this unexpected opportunity?

That's what I try to do when I run into a speedbump. Look at it as a challenge or an opportunity rather than dwelling on the downside. I already have a few ideas:

1. Take a belly dancing class. This is something I've always wanted to do. Last time he was deployed, I traveled to meet a friend in Pennsylvania and we went to a belly dancing exhibition at a local nightspot. The best dancer (in my not so humble opinion) did this amazing routine to - of all things - a death metal song. It was the most sensuous thing I've ever seen. Oddly enough, heavy metal is a perfect match for the rhythms of belly dancing.

Also, it is just weird enough to pique my interest.

2. Travel. This is what I did a lot of, last time. There are places I still have not seen and having too much time on your hands is as good an excuse as any to light out for places unknown. Like eastern Europe, the Ukraine, Sedona AZ, Spain...

3. I already got my hair cut last week. This is something I'd been wanting to do for a long time. It's really cute - sort of a mid length retro hairstyle. I've never cared much what was in style: usually I prefer classic looks. And it's hard to get more classy than retro do's. They're feminine and alluring, and even better, they're different from what everyone else is doing, which is so 'me'.

I didn't want to go back to short hair, but wearing my hair up was starting to make me feel like The Aged P. However, I have also thought that this year might be a good time for a mid-life makeover. You know, clothes, makeup, etc. The old closet could stand an overhaul.

4. Start running again. In my late 30s I used to run for an hour every day. I truly loathe running - it violates every lazy instinct I possess.

But I love being in shape.

5. Go back to school?

Feel free to add your suggestions in the comment section!

Posted by Cassandra at August 19, 2009 05:42 PM

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Posted by: Everyman at August 19, 2009 06:19 PM

You know, I've been thinking of going to Afghanistan.

Posted by: Grim at August 19, 2009 07:10 PM

Cass, I am thinking about NOT going to Afghanistan. Not that I won't if they cut the orders, but I can imagine how my bride of 34+ years would respond. She wasn't even happy when I went to South America last year for a few months.

And I don't think I would chance announcing my departure at 0430 unless I was packed and half out the door. I guess thats the difference betixt an Army Officer and a Marine Officer. LOL.

Semper Fi Princess. Keep the faith. We are with ya. And a rigid salute to your spousal unit for what he does. Best of luck. At least he's not airborne....

You have a mass quantity of cyberbuds and budettes who are here if you need us. After all, you are the Blog Princess of Snarkiness....

Posted by: kbob in Katy at August 19, 2009 07:22 PM

I don't think I would chance announcing my departure at 0430 unless I was packed and half out the door.

Heh :) I hear ya on that one.

However, I took it as a compliment. I prefer my bad news straight up and on time.

I will admit that I'm having a harder time rolling with this one :p But it is what it is, and we'll find a way to make the best of it.

Grim: I thought you were going to stick around for a while?

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 07:26 PM

Everyman, let me think about it. I will check out your site and get back to you :)

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 07:27 PM

Go for the belly dancing. When I went to Korea unaccompanied for the year my wife got into running but she didn't keep it up when I came back and we went to my next assignment.

One can belly dance anywhere and you burn off calories no matter where you're at!

BTW next month is our 35th wedding anniversary!!


Posted by: Northlander at August 19, 2009 07:27 PM


I started learning at home last time, but I think it would be more fun to take a class.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 07:33 PM

Indeed, I had been intending to do so. I was asked about a proof-of-concept mission for a training program, though; you know I was doing tribal work in the last deployment. Seeing if the concept can be fitted to Afghanistan, or outside of the Arab tribes, would be a major test to the usefulness of the training program.

It might help the military operate more smoothly within tribal cultures, which could prevent a number of deaths among young Marines and soldiers -- and among the youth of civilian tribal populations, which is also important. I'm considering it, for that reason; and, the longer-term training program would let me be closer to home.

I haven't made a decision yet, but I'm not surprised to hear of your husband's. The fact is, there aren't many of us who do this sort of work. It's what we do, and our country needs the few of us that there are. When you go to 'all volunteers,' you end up needing a lot more out of that kind of man who does volunteer.

Posted by: Grim at August 19, 2009 07:53 PM

Write for yourself, and no one else.

Posted by: spd rdr at August 19, 2009 08:00 PM

Wise advice. I apologize, if I have overspoken.

Posted by: Grim at August 19, 2009 08:10 PM

On the question you posed, Cass: I think you should take up running. My sister did, and she is as thin as a willow reed right now. She's also full of energy and joy, which is surprising since she is undergoing a divorce. It's been well worthwhile for her.

Posted by: Grim at August 19, 2009 08:44 PM

I am glad to hear that, Grim.

A divorce is a lot like a little death. I have an acquaintance who has been going through that hell for several years now. I bleed a little for her every time I see the pain in her face.

And you haven't overspoken :p I was just surprised, that's all.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 08:50 PM

What is this, Deploy the Husbands of all my Friends week? This is getting ridiculous. :P

I like the belly dancing idea. I've done a little of it, and it's tremendous fun and (as much as a I hate to use the word) empowering.

Posted by: FbL at August 19, 2009 08:55 PM

Yeah, well, Grandma here could use a little "empowering" to go with her new haircut.

I like doing things that make me slightly uncomfortable. I also like heavy metal, so this is obviously meant to be.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 09:22 PM


Posted by: spd rdr at August 19, 2009 09:23 PM

Running? Fantastic if you like it. Belly dancing... woo hooo!!

My choice of exercise is simply dance - it can encompass your belly dancing or the two-step... but the most challenging I learned was the waltz. (yep, I'm a dumbo... go figure!)

Posted by: Donna B. at August 19, 2009 09:32 PM

If I could, I'd like to travel, both domestically and internationally. You could add Austin, Texas to your list of places to go.

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 19, 2009 09:48 PM

04:30!!! You're husband is a braver man than I ever knew! I NEVER gave my wife news of that nature until after she's had her coffee.

My vote goes for the belly dancing. Good exercise and it sounds like you'd enjoy it more. Running is good, but if you don't enjoy it it's less likely that you'll keep up with it. I'll let some of the commenters that you know better be the ones to request vids of your practice sessions, though.

Donna B. is right "the most challenging I learned was the waltz." Being a ball room dancer myself, waltz is more strenuous than any of the other traditional ball room dances, due to "rise up on your toes and lower" over and over again.

And finally, for your husband from an old retired Army NCO. "Go kick some ass, sir! And come back safe."

Posted by: Charodey at August 19, 2009 09:53 PM

Heh. I say go for the belly dancing. I took a class once...and loved it. Much higher impact than running without the pounding to your bones and muscles. Soft fabrics, music of your choice
and uh..


Posted by: Cricket at August 19, 2009 10:02 PM

Travel, then dance and then continuing ed.

Been there and loved it. I'd bet you would too. Take a few months to soak all of it in. And if Georgia ever kicks me out, I may see ya there. =8^}

On a serious note, what Kbob and Charodey said regarding your Unit.

My best wishes and prayers will be offered for you and the Colonel.

Posted by: bthun at August 19, 2009 10:04 PM

Along with Austin, TX you could also venture out this way. I'll buy the Blue Hawaiian...

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at August 19, 2009 10:09 PM

Dang you Kbob! Your mention of CV(A)-66 and the 74 Med cruise started me on the reminiscing path the other night. That, in turn, led to a fond remembrance of a week on Palma de Mallorca.

I fell in with a wild, young, band of Scottish blokes and blokettes who were on holiday that week. I think during that 120 hour period we took in the sights, all while drinking the island dry and singing drinking songs. But I can't be certain...

M'lady you have to include a visit to Palma de Mallorca during your month in Spain. It's a must see.

Posted by: bthun at August 19, 2009 10:33 PM

Can I come, too? A good friend of mine was in HI when she got married (we were friends in Jr High in El Paso - my dad got orders for Germany, her dad got orders to HI). She asked me to be her maid of honor, but I couldn't afford the airfare out there since I was a lowly college student. I wouldn't have had to worry about hotel, since I would have stayed in their quarters - on the beach... That would have been lots of fun, had I been able to go. That's coming up on 20 years ago...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 19, 2009 10:45 PM

I will have to make a list of suggested destinations :)

I'll keep you all in mind. And thanks for the kind words regarding the spousal unit, guys.

I have always wanted to try ballroom dancing again, too. I haven't really done any of that since I took a class in college. Back then, I was far too young and too headstrong to let some guy push me around a dance floor. I had my own ideas! One of the advantages of growing older is that sounds like a little piece of heaven now :)

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 10:48 PM

Hawaii is beautiful, Miss Ladybug.

I was there many moons ago and loved it. Would love to see it again.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 10:49 PM

My extended family in Alaska goes to HI with some frequency. I'm jealous of that...

I did take a dance class in college, too. It wasn't any one type of dance. It was an easy A, and fun. Folk dance (Greek dancing was really fun), country styles, even the minuet. Learned how sometimes dance styles (like the minuet) are influenced by fashion. I'd like to learn ballroom styles, but I think it would be fun to have someone to go with for that. I miss going out dancing like I did with friends back when I was in college...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 19, 2009 10:58 PM

You should sign up for a ballroom dance class after work. Often the YMCA will have classes like that. They're not expensive. I took yoga at the Y last time my husband was deployed. It got me out of the house and was really relaxing.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 11:04 PM

I'd do it all except for the running; I'd switch that to swimming. I loathe running also and used to do it all the time. I felt great and hated every second of it. Between the swimming and the belly dancing you should be very fit. I'm going to take a belly dancing class four months after I have this baby for all kinds of reasons, not the least of which is to feel more like 34 than the reality of 44.

Every time my husband leaves on deployment, I find myself setting MAJOR goals, at least they feel major to me. I have a definite timeline to accomplish them and they will improve our lives in some way. It makes the deployments go so much faster and they all seemed to feel like they had a purpose that included me; instead of me feeling like I was sitting on the sidelines like so many of my friends seemed to feel. And each time my goal was also something I thought would really delight my husband when he came home.

I didn't choose that criteria on purpose, but I have found that it never leaves room for the thought that he isn't coming home and I don't worry in quite the same way that other people seem to. Although, to be fair, he's been in Iraq all three times and not Afghanistan. Even when he was on a MTT team and embedded with the Iraqi Army for a year, I focused more on the opportunities than the stresses.

Posted by: Laurie at August 19, 2009 11:34 PM

Praying for you and your old man, whatever works babe...whatever works.

Posted by: Ozzy at August 19, 2009 11:40 PM

We'll have to see what else I have going on. I've got all these things I want to do, and some things that have deadlines (like what I plan on contributing to the Valour-IT fundraiser in October, things for the niece & cousins' kids for Christmas...). That, and how much it costs...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 19, 2009 11:46 PM

Every time my husband leaves on deployment, I find myself setting MAJOR goals, at least they feel major to me. I have a definite timeline to accomplish them and they will improve our lives in some way. It makes the deployments go so much faster and they all seemed to feel like they had a purpose that included me; instead of me feeling like I was sitting on the sidelines like so many of my friends seemed to feel.

Amen, Laurie. We can't always control our circumstances but we can control how we respond to them. Often that's the difference between living your life and allowing it to live you.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 11:56 PM

2. Travel. This is what I did a lot of, last time. There are places I still have not seen and having too much time on your hands is as good an excuse as any to light out for places unknown. Like eastern Europe, the Ukraine, Sedona AZ, Spain...

I'm all for travel; I do it as often as possible. Next month we'll be staying near Venice, during which time I am contemplating a visit to some caves in Slovenia and Croatia.

Since Hawaii was mentioned, I go every Winter, next trip scheduled for Feb. 6-20.

On the subject of running, I used to run 3 miles every other day, 'til my knees gave out. However, having had knee surgery in 2006, I have been considering taking it up again. My midsection could definitely stand some improvement...

Posted by: camojack at August 20, 2009 12:29 AM

I remember strolling in at zero dark thirty one day and having the XO ask me if I would like to go to a certain place on the other side of the planet. By the way, I would be leaving in 2 hours. I got to tell me family about it when we had a stopover about half way to my destination. Nearly a year later, I got to see them again. Wonder why there is a high divorce rate in the military?

As hard as it sounds, the day you raise your right hand, you are deciding that country really does come first. Not that you don't love your family as much as the next guy - or, gal - but, when duty calls.

Besides, as the old saying goes, what could be more fun than going to beautiful exotic places and blowing them to pieces!

Posted by: RIslander at August 20, 2009 08:30 AM

Well, I stood by my man when he left and actually had a great time when he was gone. It is all about how you both get better while apart.

Laurie, are you really enciente? At 44? Congratulations, and doing the happy dance for you. I had my youngest at 41.

Posted by: Cricket at August 20, 2009 09:20 AM

Hearing about women like Laurie gives me hope, if I can ever find Mr. Right. I turned 39 last month...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 20, 2009 09:56 AM

The world could really use a good relational/organizational chart of all the characters in War and Peace. This project has long been what I hoped to acccomplish should I have ever drawn a long prison term. I figured it would take me about a year just to work out all out the "Sashas."

Posted by: spd rdr at August 20, 2009 10:14 AM

First - as someone totally non-military - let me say I'm incredibly impressed with how you're handling your husband going to Afghanistan. I imagine that sounds terribly naive but it's yet another reminder of the gap between military and non-military life. Most people like me have nothing more to worry about than our spouses having to go to Outer Podunk for a week on business.

Second, I loved Madrid and I adored Formentera. It's the smallest of the Balearic Islands and when I was there - more years ago than I like to remember - simply lovely. Although if I were doing the Mediterranean at this point, I might consider a cruise through the Greek Islands. Preferably on someone's private yacht, of course, but I'd settle for one of those mass cruise ships or one of those archaeological study type trips. And we visited Sedona a few years ago - it's unbelievable. The earth simply doesn't come in the colors you see there. If you haven't already seen it, do not miss Monument Valley while you're in Arizona.

Third, as for exercise, I'd vote for belly-dancing. It's those little finger cymbals that fascinate me. As someone who's co-ordination level is just about good enough to walk through a doorway instead of into it, I find the ability to play zils amazing. Playing zils whilst flinging ones hips about is even more amazing.

My best to you and your husband, Cassandra. I admire both of you immensely.

Posted by: Elise at August 20, 2009 10:23 AM

Can't go around it, can't go under it, gotta go through it.

You have battle buddies, Cass...

Posted by: I am wearing my big girl panties but they're starting to bunch at August 20, 2009 10:36 AM

Hmm, I'm thinking The Unit is probably voting for the Belly Dancing since he'll get to enjoy that when he get's back. :©)

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at August 20, 2009 10:38 AM


Elise, I am going to respond to that one in a post because I think it might be interesting to others in the same position :p

In general, I have refrained from writing about my personal feelings or daily events in my life except as ancillary points to support whatever idea I was wrestling with at the time. This really isn't a personal blog and I'm not much for "...the strangest thing happened to me today" posts. Nothing wrong with them - I just don't tend to think my life is all that interesting.

I've been trying to decide whether it would be helpful for me to write a bit about dealing with deployments. I'm not sure there's a right and wrong way, but this is one way military spouses support each other.

To that end, I think I could tolerate a bit of personal blogging.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 20, 2009 10:59 AM

My Navy boyfriend just got back from Afghanistan. And he sent me a belly dancing outfit from there while he was gone, even though I've never tried it. If you like it - post about it. I might try it.

During his deployment, I moved to a different state, started a new job, picked up working out almost every morning, did the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (39.3 mi in 2 days) and then started training for the 10K he signed us up for. Before I knew it, 6mo had blown by.

I now have a really hard time getting up in the morning and getting into sneakers and out the door, but I'm so far really happy with my training progress, so it keeps me from throwing in the towel.

Posted by: ARF at August 20, 2009 11:41 AM

The 0430 announcement is brilliant! You're at your slowest, your reaction time is down, it provides those extra seconds to read the reaction and be ready to dive for cover...

Posted by: Pogue at August 20, 2009 12:33 PM

If you go to Hawaii, consider a stopover in Oregon. And bring your battle buddy - would love to see both of you. :-)

Posted by: Deb Conrad at August 20, 2009 12:35 PM

Sounds to me that Pogue has considered employing the 0430 deployment announcement tactic...

Cass ~ I would encourage you to write about how you deal with deployments. Every perspective helps. I know you don't like to write about personal stuff but this one could be the exception.

And, if not Hawaii, howzabout San Diego in September?

MissLAdybug ~ door's open! It's not the Hale Koa but I have an AeroBed and clean towels. And an 8 year old that will talk your ear off!

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at August 20, 2009 12:38 PM

I might just have to check into that. Maybe I could find some cheap airfare over a long weekend or something?

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 20, 2009 01:09 PM

Travel. To Alaska. Go see ANWR, tell us about it. Go around the vernal or autumnal equinox, and you'll have the best chance to see the aurora borealis (although a total lack of sunspots has probably lowered your chance of seeing a really major display). Stay in one of those B&B's near Fairbanks that specializes in catering to the aurora crowd. Going near the vernal equinox means you'll get there when Alaska's in deep-freeze status. Autumnal equinox will be warmer.

Then go to Germany for two months and do German language immersion.

Then go to acupuncture college.

Does this list sound personal? Yup. This is what I would do, if I had the chance. Should say this is what I will do, when I get the chance. Your mileage may vary. But the Alaska suggestion is a very good bet for anyone.

Posted by: MathMom at August 20, 2009 01:45 PM

I went to Alaska for my cousin's wedding Memorial Day weekend 2004. Got the scoop about when the aurora borealis is visible, though I didn't get the tip on when is warmer. I have a standing invitation to go up there again... I did a 4-hour whale-watching cruise out of Seward, took the train back to Anchorage. Highly recommend that. Also, I got one of my cousins (the sister of the one who got married) to go with me up to Denali National Park. Any of you who are also my facebook friends can see a pic of me with Mount McKinley in the background (the peak of which is only visibly in the early part of the day - it creates its own weather and pretty much clouds up every afternoon). Did an 8-hour tour into the park, as far in as you could go at the time, to Eilson Visitors Center. At that time of year, there was about 19 hours of daylight. It was kinda weird having dusk at about 1am...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 20, 2009 02:23 PM

Yeah, just try to get a 4-year-old to go to sleep when sunlight is streaming into his room at 12 midnight!

Posted by: MathMom at August 20, 2009 02:26 PM

Sib Three et famille live in Anchorage.

If you decide to stretch your legs in that direction, I will perform the necessary introductions and post the necessary warnings...

Posted by: BillT at August 20, 2009 02:56 PM

I'd choose the belly dancing over the running option. Easier on the knees, tones your core, improves posture AND makes riding the canter easier because there are similar motions involved.

Travel is good too. That's my $.02

Posted by: LittleRed1 at August 20, 2009 03:24 PM

My mom's oldest brother (she is the oldest of six) moved to Alaska with his first wife in the 70s. My mom's second oldest brother went for a visit at some point also in the 70s and decided to move up there. My oldest uncle stayed in Alaska after his wife was killed in a car accident. He eventually remarried and had 4 kids with his second wife (one of the sweetest ladies on the planet...). Now that their three oldest are out of house (the most recent departing being their son who just graduated college this past spring), there would definitely not be a problem staying with them if I get a chance to go up there again, which I'd love to do. BTW - the other uncle returned to Texas a few years ago and has been in Darwin (yes, Australia) the past year and a half or so, but will be returning to Texas right before my sister's wedding that first week of November.

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 20, 2009 03:40 PM

Lived in Fairbanks for 3 years. Our daughter was born up there. I miss it almost as much as I miss Colorado.

But not quite.

If you go to Alaska and don't mind company, I may see if I can catch a hop up. I'm dying to go back!

Posted by: Sly's Wardrobe Mistress at August 20, 2009 06:50 PM

Lots to comment on....but will mostly refrain. However....after nearly 8 years in HI, I think I can skip that one.

BT - did I get you hooked on the Fanta Limon soda con vodka??? I somehow wound up with 3 Icelandic ladies and we hit that disco with a 500 pta cover. Still a raucous time....though not as good as Valencia when me, Tommy davis and Jimmy Lee got jumped coming out of "Bar Las Damas" but some macho ladies who resented our presence there. Yikes.

Sidebar - will be in Daytona Fri nite, Sat and Sun, leaving for Houston monday AM early. Should be a hoot. Except lots of work to do.

Just got my blues together for interview with O6 and staff for a miljob for 1-2 years at an undisclosed (to y'all) location for the Corps of Engineers. Them there college degrees open doors. I was going to do the jammie sleeper (ACUs), but everyone looks like a ragbag in them, so....

I ought to be back in Austin end of Oct for a school. Dinner on me Miss Ladybug, if you desire. BT will vouch for me...as I will for him if he ever needs it.

Born in Alaska, been back a couple of times, but Texas is better (although they have Perry instead of Palin.)

Talk to y'all later. Gotta pack my B4 bag and get ready to aviate.

Best of everything to you Cassandra. Folks will be here for you, I gar-on-tee!!!


Posted by: kbob in Katy at August 20, 2009 08:07 PM

Just let me know when you'll be here, and I'll see what I can work out. The wedding is November 7, bridal shower is September 13, but we haven't nailed down a date for the bachelorette (which might end up being a trip to see the Ely Young Band in concert, if dates work out...).

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 20, 2009 08:23 PM

Best speed Kbob!

May safety be all over you along with copious success in all your endeavors.

Vaya con Dios.

P.S. Tell the Corp to keep the sluice gates at the damned hooch/Lanier dam closed! =8^}

Posted by: bthun at August 20, 2009 08:49 PM

Cricket and Miss Ladybug - Thank you! Yes, I am, in fact, very pregnant. So much so that although I have two months to go, I have little old church ladies poking my belly asking about twins and telling me I look like I am about to pop.

It is a huge blessing, but it was difficult getting here. Apparently all those women having babies in their 40's are mostly having help and it was, as my doctor informed me, "a miracle" I was able to get pregnant again.

Although, to be honest, I got pregnant literally the first day home of my husband's mid deployment leave. So either those troops had been doing some serious training before they deployed on the home front or it wasn't as hard to accomplish as the Doc told me.

Posted by: Laurie at August 21, 2009 12:03 AM

That's great, Laurie! I just hope that I have the opportunity some day to try for at least one child of my very own. But, unlike some women these days, I want to do things the "right" way: find a great guy, get married and raise a family together. I just have to come to terms with the fact I'm running out of time for being able to do that...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 21, 2009 12:39 AM

Agreed on the belly dancing! You work all the same muscles as doing set-ups and some other stuff, burn more calories and if you're having fun....

I kinda enjoy those tai bo videos for similar reasons-- I get to beat the crud out of the air. ;^p No sense of rhythm or I'd look into belly dancing videos.

Posted by: Foxfier at August 21, 2009 03:08 PM

Lemme see if I got this picture right. Your beloved walks through the door after a day's work, kisses you heelo, asks how your day was, sits across you at the dinner table steamed about the usual doofus at the office or on the turnpike , helps (say yes) you clear the dishes, takes off clothes, brushes his teeth, slips between the marital sheets, kisses you good night, falls asleep wraped in your arms, snores beside you for several hours, slams off the 4 AM alarm clock, kisses you good morning, jumps out of bed and into the shower wherupon he thinks it would be a propitious time to announce that he was deploying to Kabul, and you're wondering if you should take up belly dancing? Holy numnuts! He better hope that is all you take up:~>

Posted by: Lorena"s Twin Sister at August 21, 2009 04:13 PM

My husband generally gets home from work after working a 14 hour day. He leaves at 4:30 or 5 am and gets home around 9 or 10, depending on the traffic.

The night before he told me, he spent the hour he has between walking through the door, eating dinner, and going to sleep sitting up with me and my house guest. If you knew him at all, you'd know that that was the *last* thing on earth he wanted to do after a long day at work. He doesn't even like talking to people.

But that's just the kind of guy he is. He's considerate like that. I realize I was joking around about this, but there's no good time to break some kinds of news. If he'd told me the night before I can guarantee you there would have been tears and I would not have slept all night, and in the morning he'd still be going to Afghanistan :p

When I stay up all night, I nearly always get a migraine, which would have really messed up my week. As it was, he chose the perfect time. I was relatively rested and it ain't like he didn't know what my answer would be.

I was making light of a difficult situation, but in no way did I mean to give the impression that he's a thoughtless or careless man because he isn't. Probably the biggest reason I am taking this fairly well is that I have complete confidence that he loves me and that I mean a lot to him. Feeling secure in his affection make just about anything easier to understand.

Sorry if I was unclear.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 21, 2009 04:23 PM

Sorry if this was brought up above, no time to read all the comments.

Learn to fly an airplane. Not a jumbo jet, a little one, a Cessna or a Piper. Meet lots of guys, most of whom are true gentlemen and not a few of whom are former military.


Posted by: Joe Doakes at August 25, 2009 01:37 PM