August 19, 2009
The Ancient Art of Penis Reading
A Guide for Women
"IF A MAN'S EYES ARE THE MIRROR OF HIS SOUL, THEN HIS PENIS IS THE PERISCOPE."
Dang. That's sidebar worthy.
For as long as the human race has existed, we have searched for clues to self-awareness, and the human body itself is often the key to unlocking the mysteries of the soul. Only to those who possess the knowledge and understanding, will the body reveal its secrets.
Teachers of the Indian practice of Tantra have long understood the mystical link between body and spirit, between sexuality and spirituality. The shamans of tribal cultures around the world understand that the physical form holds truths that can reveal a person's true nature. And today, the old arts of palmistry, phrenology and the interpretation of moles are well-known.
But to really know the man, it's necessary to understand the thousand-year-old art of Penis Reading.
Get you hence, all you members (heh... she said... oh, nevermind) of the Oink Cadre and other penis-having individuals and determine your penis type forthwith.
VC. It's educational.
Posted by Cassandra at August 19, 2009 04:02 PM
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Invalid... 'T ain't got Peterbilt on thar.
Posted by: Larry at August 19, 2009 04:14 PM
The Internet: the last refuge of those with *way* too much time on their hands.
Posted by: Sigmund Freud's Hanes UltraSheers at August 19, 2009 04:25 PM
Posted by: spd rdr at August 19, 2009 04:32 PM
Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 04:43 PM
Manly, in the manly sense of the word, he stated in a manly voice.
Posted by: RIslander at August 19, 2009 04:47 PM
Close on the heels of guns and second ammendment priorities we explore the length and breadth of the iconic 'penis!'
Both require much discipline for proper use thereof. Do we detect a note of envy?
Most are afraid to touch this one...!
Posted by: vet66 at August 19, 2009 06:12 PM
Hey - don't look at me, buddy!
Posted by: Ten Foot Pole at August 19, 2009 06:14 PM
Hey! What am I? Chopped liver?
Posted by: Oscar Meyer at August 19, 2009 11:54 PM
No, but I'll bet you're always a weiner :p
Posted by: Cassandra at August 19, 2009 11:57 PM
Run Silent, Run Deep: "Up scope..."
Posted by: BillT at August 20, 2009 02:40 AM
I can't argue with that. I mean, look what happened when I allowed that PYT to play with the controls.
The old man told me to keep it in the garage and I didn't listen. You have to be a weiner not to see that one coming.
Posted by: Oscar Meyer at August 20, 2009 08:03 AM
Get thee to a penile colony! So, what are we saying here, with the Viagra double entendres and now Interpretive Penis Readings? Are these to be impromptu, or scholarly works? Will there be an Q&A afterward or snuggling?
Posted by: Mini Me at August 20, 2009 09:24 AM
"Will there be an Q&A afterward or snuggling?"That would depend upon whether one is naturally chatty afterwards, or if one climbs aboard the Astral Projection Express to stare at the cosmos, mouth agape. Or maybe if one smokes after sex. Some do chat, some do stare, but for me, smoking has to be the most puzzling.
Now, I can't say whether I do or not, I've never noticed.
Posted by: Oscar Meyer at August 20, 2009 11:46 AM
"...but for me, smoking has to be the most puzzling." Oscar Meyer Lite
Is that because you haven't figure out how to do it or why you do it?
Posted by: Mini Me on Drugs at August 20, 2009 02:36 PM
Perplexed. "Horse" wasn't an option. Feh.
Posted by: NRA-ILA card carrying Neanderthal at August 20, 2009 04:01 PM