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August 20, 2009

VILE BLASPHEMERS!!!!

Woe be unto you, Blasphemers and Idolotors! Filthy deniers of the public option: know that The Obamessiah shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew. And He shall pursue thee until thou perishishest...umm...eth...err...perishethest!

Verily do I call heaven and earth to witness against thee! The caterpillar shall munch upon thy many gardens and vineyards, devour thy fig and olive trees, masticate upon thy 401K accounts and preferred provider plans. For Lo! The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish rich and the tyranny of the evil monger. Blessed is He, who in the name of social justice and income equality, guards the Stupid from the lies of the Iniquitous, for He is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.

And I shall strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger. And thou shalt know My name when I do lay My Vengeance upon thee:

In a conference call with liberal and progressive religious leaders Wednesday afternoon, President Obama railed against those who were “bearing false witness” in the debate over health care reform.

“I know there’s been a lot of misinformation in this debate, and there are some folks out there who are, frankly, bearing false witness, but I want everyone to know what health insurance reform is all about,” the president said.

“Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor,” is, of course, one of the Ten Commandments. (It’s the 9th Commandment in all religions except for the Catholic and Lutheran traditions, in which it’s the 8th.)”

Whoa. For a moment I thought we were watching The Shrub try to force religion on us again.

My bad.

Posted by Cassandra at August 20, 2009 02:24 PM

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Comments

What I am curious about is - how can the President, since he has had absolutely nothing to do with the writing of the bill (legislation, after all, is not his strong point), say what will or will not be in the final law?

Posted by: RIslander at August 20, 2009 03:10 PM

Though the ever present vapor that is the annointed doth fill my satellite dish.
And drone with the signal-to-NOISE of a billion starving locust.
Lo tho I stumble through the valley of inane rhetoric,
I will fear no evil.
Thy Axelrod and thy Cabinet Staff art writhing.
Thine words stumble before all logic,
just as does the proverbial besotted mariner.
Lo though I dwell in the dark for the remainder of 439 days,
and yet another 735 days hence,
I will rejoice in thy self-inflicted knots of deception,
risen up like boils upon thine own carcass.
Yes, I will bitterly cling and clutch and point and laugh.
And with great mocking I will proclaim to all,
this too shall pass.
And future generations will have profit from the injuries you visit upon us this day.
A valuable lesson they shall have.

Brothers and sisters, before we stow our Obaminals and return to our ways of evil-mongering and bearing false witness against our Big Brother, let us embrace the latest newspeak proclamation;

"She [Sebelius] didn't really misspeak. She's been saying this all along. She said the same thing a month ago… Our position hasn't changed."
Ah ha! Those lips were moving again!

Posted by: bt_let_my_money_go_hun at August 20, 2009 04:47 PM

bt -

I'm checking my Bible, and I don't see this Psalm in there. Would you kindly note the number so that we may read along?

I'm rolling on the floor, here!

Wunderbar!

Posted by: MathMom at August 20, 2009 04:57 PM

"...but I want everyone to know what health insurance reform is all about,” the president said.

And behold, on the first day, the TOTUS spake thusly and manfully of the needfulness of the people for health *care* reform.

And behold, on the second day, the Sibelius spake thusly, that the TOTUS had misspaken Himself about the needfulness of the people for health *insurance* reform.

And behold yet again, on the third day, the Rod of the Axel came forth and spake thusly, that the Sibelius had misspaken herself thusly, and that the TOTUS had not misspaken Himself about the needfulness of the people for health *care* reform.

And behold yet another again, on the fourth day, the TOTUS came forth and spake thusly and manfully of the needfulness of the people for health *insurance* reform.

And behold still yet another beholding, on the fifth day, the Rod of the Axel came forth and spake thusly, that the Sibelius had not misspaken herself thusly, and that the TOTUS had indeed not misspaken Himself about the needfulness of the people for health *insurance* reform.

Ad infinitum, ad nauseum, hic hoc ptui.

Amen.

Posted by: BillT at August 20, 2009 06:06 PM

Filthy deniers of the public option

Okay, money's dirty, but travelling back to the Crusades to pull the example is poaching on Grim's turf.

Posted by: BillT at August 20, 2009 06:16 PM

And thus it came to pass, Abbot Roberto Gibbs, lead Flatulencor of the Public Professor's order of The Won True Confessor of Apologencia before the Unblinking Eye and Global Community, along with the Cabinet Liverymen, sought redemption in the period correct, eco-friendly, pre-Renaissance, CapnTax, solar-powered, hay and dung garden beside the Whitehouse.

Posted by: bt_let_my_money_go_hun at August 20, 2009 06:31 PM

*And* he's getting better...

Posted by: BillT at August 20, 2009 06:53 PM

The abbot continued to lead the devout in self-flagellation amongst the hay and dung of the garden even as The WON sought inspiration in the Vineyard of Martha. Home to a monastic association of Vineyarders who had gathered to craft a need for denier reallocation, redistribution, and the attendant overseeing of such as ordained by the Marx brother, Karl.

After much grape and snail it was realized that a fitting monopolistic order must be writ for peasant subterfuge.

Thus sprang forth the second order of the Hospitalers. To succor the poor and sick and fleece all others till they be poor and sick.

Pie lesu domine, dona eis requiem *whack!*

Posted by: bt_let_my_money_go_hun at August 20, 2009 07:01 PM

Out of the mouths of two or more witnesses shall the Truth be established as to the Folly of Progressivism. For behold, it does stray from Free Market Capitalism and borders upon Legitimate Theft.

Posted by: Cricket at August 20, 2009 08:17 PM

Which, Legitimate Theft, is an oxymoron before Us, sayeth the Right, and shall be punished by the People who Control the Congressional Council, and the Grapes of Wrath shall be trodden under foot of men, for they will make wine and strong drink, and must be poured out.

Uhh...that is all.

Posted by: Cricket at August 20, 2009 08:21 PM

"I'm checking my Bible, and I don't see this Psalm in there. Would you kindly note the number so that we may read along?"
Mathmom,

Walkin' Boss is working so hard to slip me past St. Pete on a bye that I figure I'd better not answer that one, lest her good works be for naught. I will say that when I regained a state of consciousness, I had a snake in one hand, a .30-06 Remington BDL in the other and my double-barreled beer-carrying hardhat resting on the point of my head.

Ya know, M'lady Cass crafted such a grand prologue, this thread has the makings of an update and retelling of Canterbury Tales. Friar Obama's character is ready made and with a bit of input and collaboration from the assemblage of Villainry here abouts, I bet that it could easily rival Pelosi's and Boxer's books on any best sellers list.

Posted by: bthun at August 20, 2009 09:19 PM

"I'm checking my Bible, and I don't see this Psalm in there. Would you kindly note the number so that we may read along?"

Let me help with the number Mathmom, Psalm 23i.

Posted by: Russ at August 21, 2009 01:03 AM

“I know there’s been a lot of misinformation in this debate, and there are some folks out there who are, frankly, bearing false witness, but I want everyone to know what health insurance reform is all about,” the president said.

Yes, misinformation and bearing false witness...perpetrated by Obama & Co.

But at least he was telling that truth when he said that "some folks" out there are bearing false witness...

Posted by: camojack at August 21, 2009 01:09 AM

Projecting. It always works for the socialist.

Hm. I think bthun's idea of retelling the Canterbury Tales via politics. I think Goeff would love it.

Posted by: Cricket at August 21, 2009 10:11 AM

"Gunnin' for Granny"

When the NYT comes out and says to seniors; "Be afraid, be very afraid!' regarding Obamacare, you know the reticles of socialism are squarely on the geezer patrol!

You want to know how Obama is going to pay for his socialist program? Ask the Veterans Administration and read the fine print that will magically appear, if not in the bills currently under consideration, in the future at a convenient time.

The greatest generation is on borrowed time and the boomers are in the batter's box.

Posted by: vet66 at August 21, 2009 12:11 PM

I highly recommend, for the pagan view, Iowahawk's epic "The Idiossey." My linky-thingy is not working today, but search for Iowahawk and go from there. And allow plenty of time - it's long.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at August 21, 2009 01:11 PM

The Idiossey, wrested from the clutches of the crypt keeper in the bowels of a records room, in a humble hospital, on a remote island, in the middle of the Pacific ocean...

*looks up with a start as diabolical laughter, sounding eerily like Peter Lorre, echoes through the intertubes once again, while lightning strikes outside and the wind extinguishes the candle that provides lighting for the screen and keyboard..*

Well, it is a dark and stormy night...

Posted by: bthun at August 21, 2009 09:25 PM

"The only good apostate from the Church of Obama is a dead apostate." Ezekiel Emanuel, Lord High Chief of the Quality Care Panel, circa 2017.

Posted by: Mike Myers at August 22, 2009 11:42 AM

bthun, I braved the seven circles of hell, the labyrinth of Crete, battled the Minotaur and read the Idiossy.

(yes, I clicked on the link, why?)

Too.brilliant.

Posted by: Cricket at August 22, 2009 09:52 PM

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