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September 29, 2009

The White Man's Burden

I'm a 61-year-old man with three young children and a yard to rake. While I appreciate the attention from our most ex- of ex-presidents, I'm really too busy to properly accomplish all this loathing and detestation. I quit smoking so I don't even have a lighter to set crosses on fire. We don't happen to own white bed sheets and I'm five nine and--dressed in Ralph Lauren candy stripes and tripping on fitted corners--I'd feel like a fool at Klan rallies (and Tea Parties and Town Hall meetings, to the extent that there's a difference).

Then I have the task of finding people to disrespect, denigrate, and discriminate against. I know people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. But, unfortunately, I like them. When you like a person it's difficult to treat him (or even her) with the kind of vigorous and unrestrained bigotry that Jimmy Carter expects me to engage in. I have to go looking for people (people of the proper race, creed, and ethnic origin) whom I can't stand.

- PJ O'Rourke

Posted by Cassandra at September 29, 2009 10:00 AM

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Posted by: spd rdr at September 29, 2009 10:14 AM

61 and three young children! Does that come under self flagellation?

Posted by: RIslander at September 29, 2009 07:25 PM

He's a late bloomer?

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at September 29, 2009 11:24 PM

I'd feel like a fool at Klan rallies (and Tea Parties and Town Hall meetings, to the extent that there's a difference).

If Mr. O'Rourke can't tell the difference then he's been raking for too long.

Posted by: Dymphna at September 30, 2009 11:35 AM

That line made me pause for a moment, too. But I took it as parody of those who equate Townhall rallies with KKK rallies rather than a statement that he personally saw no difference.

Taken in context, that seemed to be his message: that people just really need to stop with the hyperbolic and inflammatory rhetoric. Being of the snarky sort myself, I interpreted the quip as a subtle wisecrack.

Posted by: Cassandra at September 30, 2009 12:06 PM

M'lady, I second your interpretation of PJ's fool comment. FWIW, coming as it does from the sole inhabitant qualified to enter the Snark room in the Hun hovel.

Then there is this,

"Then I have the task of finding people to disrespect, denigrate, and discriminate against."
Again, it goes to show the entire piece to be snarkasm, especially given the target rich environment of the uber-leftwing blog-o-sphere, the major media, the Congress, the current Czarist Administration, and the majority of pandering, pontificating, Oracles of prognostication, and prevaricating politicians in general.

Funny how they seem to display those tendencies when they let down their guard and talk about their, how you say? feeeeeeellllliiings... e.g. bitter-clingers, Bible-thumpers, racists, hillbilly's, rednecks, neanderthals, ignorant, incapable of living without benevolent oversight from the gifted/intellectually superior, and the lists goes on and on, forever...

I must note the one exception being our lunch-bucket VP, who has never learned how to raise his guard in the first place. When the creator said filters for speech and conduct, he thought the announcement was for pilfering the meek and down on their luck...

An equal opportunity, ah, no, make that an equal results pox on all their houses.

Posted by: bt_hang-em-high_hun at September 30, 2009 12:37 PM

I feel his pain. I'm a white male, too, also a non-veteran, not handicapped, and not gay. I know, that me an Oppressor. All those other categories are Oppressed by people like me.

Worse, I am employed in government. There are so few white men left around here - so many affirmative action hires - that I have to do more and more of the Oppressing all by myself. I told the union about it but they were no help - it's the White Man's Burden, suck it up.

Things are looking up, though. I just turned 50. Now I'm an "older worker" and therefore I'm a victim, too. And even though I'm the last white guy in the office, I'm being oppressed.

I wonder who's oppressing me?


Posted by: Joe Doakes at September 30, 2009 12:38 PM


The Man is oppressing you. As a white male, though, I think you are the Man. So basically, you are putting it to yourself. Or not.

Let me get back to you on that one.......

I too am a white male and over 50. I haven't oppressed anyone in over 6 days. Can I have some applause, please?

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at September 30, 2009 01:08 PM


Don, you'd better get busy or the Old Oppressive White Man's Fraternity, aka OOWMF guild will be on you like Congress on a lobbyist sponsored, Caribbean, fact finding junket.

Posted by: bt_hang-em-high_hun at September 30, 2009 01:18 PM