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October 21, 2009
Sports Wit and Wisdom
In my Inbox, via OBH:
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run
over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen
of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius
is a guy like Norman Einstein."6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long
it takes."7.Bill Peterson,a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why
would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
prison for three years, not Princeton ".9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, when asked why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so
when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan regime
of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care."
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what
he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
Posted by Cassandra at October 21, 2009 02:49 PM
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Comments
Yogi Berra could single-handedly out-malaprop them all, and with both hands tied behind his back...
Posted by: BillT at October 21, 2009 03:15 PM
I haven't laughed so much since my sister had to teach bonehead English to the (redacted) State football team.
I think that is why she quit Higher Education after she got her Master's. I overheard her tell our mother this: "I am readly to brain the lot of them! My kid sister (that is yours truly) can and does construct a better sentence!"
Posted by: Cricket at October 21, 2009 03:55 PM
Bill Peterson also famously refered to Auburn running back Tucker Fredrickson as that F@*ker Tedrickson on the radio....
Posted by: Kc at October 21, 2009 05:59 PM
Numbers four and twelve are particularly priceless.
Posted by: Grim at October 21, 2009 10:48 PM
Priceless. Made my day.
Posted by: WeddingGuy at October 22, 2009 07:13 AM