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December 22, 2009


If any of you want to talk me off the ledge, now would be a very good time.

It's Christmas, and I have no love for my fellow man.

Posted by Cassandra at December 22, 2009 07:56 AM

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Sorry I did not know I was Contagious LOL

Posted by: Sabre22 at December 22, 2009 08:06 AM

*dragging fainting couch beneath ledge and fluffing cushions*

Posted by: BillT at December 22, 2009 08:28 AM


Posted by: Cassandra at December 22, 2009 08:57 AM

You may have no love for your fellow man, but we do love you, Cass! :) *hugs*

Posted by: MikeD at December 22, 2009 09:03 AM

You don't solve your problems by jumping off a ledge, you solve them by pushing *someone else* off of it.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at December 22, 2009 09:34 AM

MikeD is correct. Some of us love you. And love was never just hearts and flowers anyway. You make the world a better place for being in it, Cassandra, and the fact that you share some of your thoughts with the rest of us from time to time is just a cherry on that sundae.

Posted by: Patrick at December 22, 2009 09:45 AM

Not just the cherry, but the whipped cream and nuts as well...

*commences pillow fight with cushions*

Posted by: Cricket at December 22, 2009 09:50 AM

Jeez. I love you guys too.

Group hug!!! You guys are making me ashamed of my sense of humor failure. That said, I like the way Yu-Ain thinks :p

Posted by: Cassandra at December 22, 2009 09:53 AM

The only thing that's keeping me from joining you out there, Cass, is the whoopin' the Giants laid on dem 'Skins last night.

Posted by: spd rdr at December 22, 2009 09:55 AM

Is that a chocolate on the cushion?

Posted by: vet66 at December 22, 2009 10:18 AM

I don't remember where I saw this, but...

Some people are like Slinkies™, they don't really have a purpose, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at December 22, 2009 10:25 AM

All of the above M'lady.

Surely with everyone here reminding you, you can take comfort in this fact.

Now, take your mind off ledges, gravity, rates of acceleration, road kill, that Φther person always yapping on the tube, his pod-people followers, and such things.

Posted by: bthun at December 22, 2009 10:30 AM

OK bthun. I will think of the 'Skins laying the smackdown on the NY Giants :p

*dusting off hands*

Posted by: Cassandra at December 22, 2009 10:54 AM

Dear Cassandra,
Early this morning just as the sun broke, clear and cloudless, over Horse Mesa and the finches were gathering in our peach tree waiting for the ice to melt off their water tank, I watched the neighborhood getting ready for another day and thought about what I might include along with our traditional holiday greetings.
I'll start by complaining about all the strife and turmoil swirling outside our little corner of the planet. I'll briefly share my blue mood caused by the aches and pains of age robbing me of the joy I used to find in long hikes. I also need to gripe about those nuisance tourists clogging the roads, having a million things on my list that needed to be completed yesterday, and how there's nothing worth watching on the gosh-darn television any more!
There - I got all the petty stuff off my chest! All silliness, I know, but now I'm ready to focus on the essential goodness around me.
Let's see . . . I have another day of life surrounded by the natural beauty of the southwest. I still have the unwavering companionship of our old cat. I have the crackling pleasure of a wood stove and the loving warmth of a good woman. I have things to work on that give me a sense of meaning and purpose. I have fond memories of other times, friends, and places. I have anticipation of more of all these things to come, plus surprises and adventures that I cannot now even imagine.
And, I'm sure, you have a personal treasure chest filled to overflowing with similar wealth! Compared to these treasures, what is there to complain about? We're the richest people in the world!

Posted by: Lon at December 22, 2009 11:03 AM

You might as well dream of flying pigs, Princess. That, and The New York Times.

Posted by: spd rdr at December 22, 2009 11:03 AM

I will not comment on the Giants vs. Skins game last night. *While admitting that I could not look away, much like rubber-necking past an accident on the side of the road* Spd is on his own there.

Nope, I will not cast stones, what with living in a glazed hovel in the land of the Falcons, aka birds of pray.

Yeah I know, you're thinking prey, but trust me, having pulled for the Atlanta Falcons since day one, as futile as that sounds, I've come to know that it's pray.

Posted by: bthun at December 22, 2009 11:20 AM

All I have to say about that is that you're not a fan if you only root for your team when they win.

I will admit that it's painful watching what Dan Snyder is doing to my 'Skins, but I've seen them do great things and they will do great things again some day. Maybe not this year.

But some day.

Posted by: Cassandra at December 22, 2009 11:25 AM

"some day" Yup, that's what I've been telling myself since 1966. Some day...

Posted by: bthun at December 22, 2009 11:27 AM

Eli Manning did that to you? For shame! On the other hand, if the 'Skins woes are not the cause of your funk--well that's another problem entirely. Go push somebody else down the stairs. That's what my big sister did to me when I was a 7 year old kid--and I've never forgotten--nor forgiven. But it felt good to her at the time.

Posted by: Mike Myers at December 22, 2009 11:38 AM

I'd caution against pushing others down stairs. As my youngest, older bro discovered, if the pushee survives, pay back is a b!+#*

Posted by: bt_yo-ho-ho_hun at December 22, 2009 12:00 PM

Not to ruin the mood, but...

Merry Christmas!

Posted by: Russ at December 22, 2009 12:07 PM

I like the Mannings (Peyton and Eli).

No, it's not the 'Skins. They've been losing for a while now.

Sometimes I wish I were a "push 'em down the stairs" type, but I'm not. I try not to run from a fight but I never enjoy it.

Posted by: Cassandra at December 22, 2009 12:13 PM

Merry Christmas, Russ :)

And Lon, you're right. I'm extremely lucky and always have been. Just having a bad day, that's all.

Posted by: Cassandra at December 22, 2009 12:15 PM

Cassandra, I come here for my much needed daily dose of common sense so step away from the ledge. As mentioned above, much better to push someone else of the ledge. I have a list of names handy if you are open to suggestions.

Posted by: Carolyn at December 22, 2009 12:35 PM


Last week I was in the same place you are now...and it took one special person to turn that all around. Here is how it all happened:

Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance.

As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill. Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand. Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong.

He told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and two sisters. His father had died when he was nine years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs. She made very little to support her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed to save two hundred dollars to buy her children Christmas presents. The young boy had been dropped off on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus home.

He had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.

"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked. The boy said, "I did." "And nobody came to help you?" I wondered. The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head. "How loud did you scream?" I inquired. The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"

I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help.

So, I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.

Posted by: David M at December 22, 2009 12:48 PM

You are so bad :)

Carolyn, thanks for the kind words. My list is too long now!

Posted by: Cassandra at December 22, 2009 01:13 PM

Posted by: d3ft punk at December 22, 2009 01:43 PM

OK, that was disturbing ...

In a good way :)

Posted by: Cassandra at December 22, 2009 02:28 PM

Yessir, David reminded me that I too have been touched, quite unexpectedly, by the Christmas spirit.

Why I remember one Christmas when I wuz a young shaver, a feller set me up on a blind date.

Soz I drove on over to the young lady's house to pick her up. and when I rang on that door bell, she answered it in a wheelchair!

Now in those days, my exposure to special needs wuz limited to the time that I told my guidance counselor that I had sent off in mail order fer some information on a Protractor, ‘cuz I wanted to be a Pro farmer. And then that class only lasted till my pappy got involved and after that meeting the counselor muttered somethin about jeans... and put my back in my shop classes.

let me tell ya, I wuz right surprised, but being trained in all them gentlemanly thangs when I wuz young, I hid my surprise. And considerin that she was as nice as she could be, that she wuz a purty young lady, smart and all that sorta stuff too, I figured I was datin way above my weight class anyhow, so I took her on to the movies. Yup, I wuz just as excited as I could be.

Now that young lady wuz some sort deeprived, let me tell ya. She got ta hittin on me in that thar movie theater all through the movie, touchin and kissin and everthang. I wuz not used to such and I got ta sweatin and squirmin and I dang near panicked.

Soz, after the movie, figuring my dumb ole hillbilly ways and lack of experience would embarrass both of us, I figerd I’d take her on home, but she wanted to go park somewhars and tawk, she said.

Wez went on down to a secluded spot in a national forest whar I figured we could look at the stars and tawk about thangs and Christmas and stuff, but OOOWEEEEE! She did not want to tawk! No sirresir, all she wanted wuz to do the wild thang.

Now I tried to resist, but as is said, the spirit wuz strong but the youthful flesh wuz weak.

After a few minutes of chaotic teenaged passion, she said WHOA! She said that she had something in the back of her wheelchair which wuz in the back of my truck. She said it wuz somethin that would make kissin and stuff more comfortable and all. So I got her chair outta the pickup bed and brung it to her. She then pulled out this leather harness contraption! She asked me to hang it from a branch in the tree outside the truck. Follerin her instructions I hanged her up in that harness.

<insert more imaginative than a fifth grader stuff here>

Afterwerds I took the young lady on back home and since it wuz perty late, I helped her on to her parents back porch. As I started to open the door, the lights went on! Her dad looked at me, looked at her and then and sent her on to her room.

Before I knew it, her dad said to me, "come here boy". Now, I figured I wuz dead meat, just knowin that a mixture of guilt and The Flying Wallendas had to be writ all over mah face. But that man reached into his pocket and pulled out a $100.00 bill. He then handed it to me and said, "Thanks. The last guy left her hanging in the tree". And with that he said Merry Christmas and closed the door.

I have been all over the spirit of givin ever since.

Posted by: Larry at December 22, 2009 03:05 PM

I'm with Yu-ain. It *is* going around though, ainnit?

And we're bloggers, so we're obliged to navel-gaze in the open. It's in the licensure paperwork somewhere...

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at December 22, 2009 03:12 PM

Alright, lady. If you know what's good for ya, you'll be cheering up real quick, see? I don't wanna hafta get mean about this, but unless I see some freekin smiles and goddamn holiday good cheer outta youze, I will be forced to do the unthinkable . . . subject you to crappy poetry.

I mean bidness! You get to caroling right now, or you will have to listen to "Ode to my Penis", a sonnet in 37 parts. Wazzit gonna be?

Posted by: a former european at December 22, 2009 05:19 PM

Cassie? I can handle the Eurotrash Refugee Poet...

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at December 22, 2009 05:29 PM

This should make you feel better, Cass. :)

Posted by: Grim at December 22, 2009 06:45 PM

bthun my aircraft carrier frere, your use of the language, frankly amazes me. Must be a benefit of working the flight deck while I was a hole snipe....much to the chagrin of Ralphie Mackrel, who was up on the rail aft of the jet engine test stand and threatening to step off into the wake....it was priceless when Mr cahoon told him the only thing that was holding him back was fear, and he (Mr C) would be glad to do his part to overcome that....

Med cruises and liberty ports....even Valencia was good!

To all MERRY CHRISTMAS and a Happy and Prosperous New Year!!

Posted by: Kbob in Katy at December 22, 2009 07:05 PM

Heheh. Nothing like breathing combusted JP5 for enhancing ones language skills. Unless it's having an F4/A7/A6/E2/COD or the occasional RA5 almost run over your arse or send you through their Mo-Thrust Veg-O-Matics. =8^}

On the other hand, it may be that I have a tich of the Archie Campbell and Tennessee Earnie Ford and in me. From the branch that hangs just behind the haystack side of the family tree.

Ya can't run from it, might as well embrace it.

Kbob, in all seriousness, I wish you and yours a wonderful Christmas. Stay safe old friend.

Posted by: bthun at December 22, 2009 08:26 PM

Dennis the Peasant is my neighbor (of sorts). We live in the same town (although I'm actually out in the township now). When he writes of the Westerville Chronicles, that's us out here in O-hi-O. So it's all true (you bet!), or as they say out Russia way, "es Pravda!"
Nice pick up, Grimmy. And smile once in a while, too.

And just remember, things are always darkest just before they really go into the crapper. :)

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at December 22, 2009 09:37 PM

I thought you said Pheasant...to much eggnog, Merry Christmas.

Posted by: Oh Hell at December 22, 2009 10:33 PM

...much better to push someone else off the ledge. I have a list of names handy if you are open to suggestions.


Yet another thread descends into the depths of sex and relationships...

Posted by: BillT at December 23, 2009 01:04 AM

*comes back from fighting with the cushions*

Ya know, that was really boring. It is time to watch 'Chicken Run' again.

After nearly ten years, I still get a kick out of Babs.

Posted by: Cricket at December 23, 2009 01:06 AM

I have a list as well. Should we have a ledge list? Check it twice and all that sort of thing?

Posted by: Cricket at December 23, 2009 08:18 AM

*checking carabiners on safety harness*

Posted by: BillT at December 23, 2009 10:44 AM

I hope whatever it is/was passes/passed quickly... :-(

Posted by: camojack at December 23, 2009 02:23 PM

My Tuesday was probably crappy than yours. I left the house about 8am Monday morning but didn't get to come home until last night. Let's just say I took a little detour to the hospital Monday afternoon...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at December 23, 2009 02:57 PM

Aww crap,

You OK? Nothing major, I hope.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at December 23, 2009 04:28 PM

I apparently had a seizure about 1:30 Monday afternoon. All the tests have come back normal and it's been recommended I see a neurologist after the first of the year. Right now, what caused it to happen, and it may never happen again. But, I've been told to be very aware of how I'm feeling, and if I don't feel right, to lay down; and I'm not allowed to drive for 6 months. Aside from the financial burden this is going to place on me, the not driving is going to be the hardest adjustment. I'm going to have to have someone drive me to and from work. Guess this might be the reason I'm still living with my parents (following the "everything happens for a reason" logic). I feel fine now, but it was really freaky coming to with the EMS guys over me, not really comprehending what had happened...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at December 23, 2009 05:23 PM

s/b "don't know what caused it to happen"...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at December 23, 2009 05:26 PM

Miss Ladybug, do you by any chance have a sinus infection? I passed out once from having one. When I came around all of my vitals were good. They thought that I was having seizures until they did a MRI.

Posted by: Russ at December 23, 2009 07:19 PM

No, no sinus infection. My sister sits in the cube next to me. She saw me seizing, so there is no doubt that I did. Right now, it's a mystery as to why. I don't remember it coming on, don't remember it happening. First thing I remember after it happened was coming to with the EMS guys over me. CAN scan & MRI clear, chest x-ray normal, my heart is "perfect" (according to one of the nurses) (they did an EKG & a sonogram of my heart), and the EEG came back normal, too. Was it just a fluke, or do I get to look forward to it happening again, and having to go on anti-seizure meds? Just what I needed, really...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at December 23, 2009 09:19 PM

I really should proofread... CAT scan...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at December 23, 2009 09:20 PM

Well, I am sorry to hear that Miss Ladybug. That must have been a very unsettling experience. I hope that seeing a doctor will help allay some of the worry.

If it helps any, I have been on seizure medications for the past 15 years or so for migraines. I have taken two different medications. If you end up having to take them, there is usually an adjustment period of a few weeks - they usually start you off on half the dose and gradually increase it. If you go on Topamax, you may even lose weight! That's one of the side effects.

Posted by: Cassandra at December 23, 2009 10:21 PM

I'm hoping it doesn't have to come to that. I don't need to have this be a pre-existing condition, or to have a prescription I have to refill on a regular basis...

Not that anyone really needs this any time, but I really could have done without this, my situation being what it is. I didn't need more bills.

My BIL was able to give some advice wrt my hospital stay (he's an ER tech, but at a different hospital than the one I was taken to). The wife of one of my cousins here in town works for a medical research company, and she's been offering input, as well. Too bad two of my other cousins are only med students and not actual doctors yet... One of the neurologists I spoke with started out at a Navy corpsman and became a doc while in the Navy, which was kinda cool to know (not that it has any bearing on my specific case...).

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at December 23, 2009 11:39 PM

I hope you are cheered up now. If not read about Derek at this link: http://pryce-jones.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MTk0OTE2ODg4N2M3NDA4YTk0YzZhYjY2NDMxMTZmMGM=

Posted by: Jim Drake at December 24, 2009 06:02 PM