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December 04, 2009

Wrong Priorities

You know, I don't think I've made a single decision in my entire life that was predicated on what was good for feminism.

What was best for my children? Certainly.

What was best for my marriage? Absolutely.

Though I suppose if feminism is the most important thing in your life, it all makes a twisted kind of sense. But that makes me wonder why a woman like that got married and had kids in the first place? Proving a point strikes me as extremely poor motivation for major life decisions that involve other people.

Especially those you love. Whatever happened to striving to be the best person you can be? I don't understand this whole "I'm OK, I'm OK" bit. Few of us are that wonderful in our natural, unadulterated state. Something I read the other day comes to mind:

... natural isn't necessarily good. Think about earthquakes, tsunamis, gangrene or pneumonia. Nor is unnatural bad, or beyond human potential. Consider writing a poem, learning a second language or mastering a musical instrument. Few people would argue that learning to play the violin is natural; after all, it takes years of dedication and hard work. A case can be made, in fact, that people are being maximally human when they do things that contradict their biology. "Doing what comes naturally" is easy. It's what nonhuman animals do. Perhaps only human beings can will themselves to do things that go against their "nature."

Thinking only of yourself is natural. It's being an adult that's hard.

Posted by Cassandra at December 4, 2009 08:56 AM

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One of my pet peeves from commercials is "you know it's safe, because it's all natural."

No, I don't know it's safe. Arsenic is all natural. Nightshade is all natural. Bufotoxin is all natural. Salmonella is all natural. Not one of those is even SLIGHTLY safe for you. Dog doo is all natural, but I will be damned if I'm about to take dog doo pills for any reason, why should I trust your "herbal supplement"?

Off topic, I know, but it gets my (all natural) goat.

Posted by: MikeD at December 4, 2009 11:56 AM

Well, I can certainly understand. As you all are no doubt aware, my pet peeve is, "We can't help it. We're wired that way."

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. YOU CAN HELP IT. You may choose not to try, but we are not the sum of our wiring. I've spent most of my life "wired" to have PMS and cry to get my way, but somehow I resist the temptation.

I keep hoping there's something else in the mix there somewhere but there are days when I wonder.

Posted by: Cassandra at December 4, 2009 12:19 PM

I've said it before, and I'll say it again Cass, one of the (many) things I love about you is that you hold people to a higher standard, not out of some snobbish contempt, but because you respect them. Sometimes more than they respect themselves. I refer to this and the "boys will be boys" or "men are pigs" garbage that you reject. The "wired" crap is the same song, just a different verse.

Posted by: MikeD at December 4, 2009 12:32 PM

My experience has always been that people who dedicate their lives to a political ideology, no matter what it is, are people not to be trusted in personal relationships. Such people are not truly capable of loving anyone other than the god that they have appointed for themselves.

Posted by: Cousin Dave at December 4, 2009 12:38 PM

... but because you respect them....I refer to this and the "boys will be boys" or "men are pigs" garbage that you reject.

Mike, Mike, Mike. Everyone knows women who say those kind of things, do so because we are angrey with men, fat, ugly, and also hate sex.

Sheesh :) Get with the program!

Posted by: Cassandra at December 4, 2009 12:50 PM

Yeah, I agree Dave.

I have very passionate political beliefs. But if I ever get to the point where they eclipse my love for my family, I think I'll just run screaming off into the woods.

Posted by: Cassandra at December 4, 2009 12:52 PM

Make sure you put clothes on first.

Posted by: DL Sly at December 4, 2009 01:02 PM

Either that, or bring the egg salad.

Posted by: Cassandra at December 4, 2009 01:04 PM

At the very least the cream cheese danish bikini....

Posted by: DL Sly at December 4, 2009 01:10 PM

ui gotta look out for urself firs then help as many as ur heart desires

Posted by: debt relief at December 4, 2009 02:22 PM

Seriously. What a bunch of messed up women. I can't imagine going through life just as a series of appointments and not actually feel love for my own family. It's frightening and sad to even hear someone talk that way. Poor kids.

But then, I live in silicon valley and used to do the two-income kids-in-daycare thing... and realized it sucked and we were all unhappy and I love them all and I quit my job. Heck, I even homeschool them now. Do I take a trip to Hawaii every year and buy whatever bauble I want to keep up with the neighbors? Heck no. But I have a happy family and I get lots of snuggles. (And even kisses!)

Posted by: silvermine at December 4, 2009 11:29 PM

"We can't help it. We're wired that way."

I blame Starbucks.

Posted by: BillT at December 5, 2009 03:09 AM