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February 08, 2010

They Walk Among Us

Is there a full moon, or is there just an unannounced Blue Light special on stupid today? The Daily Mail (now *there's* a reputable source for you) goes public with a shocking story of... of... a parent abusing a small child.

Wow. Now there's something we've never heard before!

A soldier waterboarded his four-year-old daughter because she was unable to recite her alphabet.

Joshua Tabor admitted to police he had used the CIA torture technique because he was so angry.

As his daughter 'squirmed' to get away, Tabor said he submerged her face three or four times until the water was lapping around her forehead and jawline.

Tabor, 27, who had won custody of his daughter only four weeks earlier, admitted choosing the punishment because the girl was terrified of water.

Stipulated: this guy is sick - AND if it turns out he really did it - he should never be allowed near his daughter again. The more interesting question is: what does this disturbing incident tell us about The Lingering Evil That Survives The BushReich?

I know! Let's ask Andrew Sullivan!

Horrifying. No doubt Marc Thiessen will object that since she wasn't strapped to an actual board and only dunked three or four times, rather than 183, and her father wasn't in the CIA, she wasn't really "waterboarded" as the professionals do it. But do you notice how a foreign newspaper uses plain English to describe torturing victims by use of near-drowning: the "CIA torture technique."

Translation, if we arbitrarily redefine the definition of waterboarding, we can wax horrified over how CIA mind control rays are causing whack job parents to abuse their helpless children (something that never happened before George Bush made torture a household word). All it requires is a little flexibility with the facts! Never mind that:

1. She wasn't strapped to an actual board with her head lower than the rest of her body.

2. Her face wasn't covered with cloth or cellophane.

3. Water wasn't poured over her face, the expected result of which is that - unlike what happens when one's face is submerged in water - the gagging reflex is triggered.

Let's focus on the takeaway here. Other than the fact that what was done to this little girl has NONE of the distinguishing characteristics of waterboarding, a foreign newspaper called it waterboarding! Which, as we all know, trumps anything so pedestrian as facts that contradict the desired narrative. And if you refuse to call it waterboarding, you support the torture of 4 year old girls who refuse to recite the alphabet!

george-bush-eats-a-kitten.jpg But wait! There's more of this cogent analysis!

No US paper has yet to report the story. Why am I not surprised?

No U.S. paper? How does Andrew know that? How is it that British journalists were the first to learn of an incident that occurred in Tacoma, Washington, a place where - apparently - large bands of bored foreign correspondents roam in packs hoping for a juicy story that will allow them to editorialize about psychotic vets and the ravages of jackbooted American imperialism.

And don't even get me started on "crib notes" and "cheat sheets" that don't contain any answers. Truly, journalism is re-defining the English language.

Posted by Cassandra at February 8, 2010 08:17 AM

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Just reading this entry is giving me an uncontrollable urge to eat one of my own cats. I've had all my fillings removed, but it doesn't help.

Posted by: Texan99 at February 8, 2010 05:07 PM

And so a woman who throws her baby out the window did it because Bush is a Christian?

Posted by: Oh Brother. at February 8, 2010 05:44 PM


I've been listening to KOMO all morning, since Elf is on that side this week, and haven't heard anything about this....

*checks the KOMO main page*

*tries the soldier's name*
From the 3rd.
copied from original story:
The girl spoke to a Yelm officer, and he observed that she “had severe bruising on her entire back,” along with scratch marks and bruising on her neck, throat, chin, arms, legs and buttocks.

She “was asked how she got the bruises and she replied ‘Daddy did it.’ ”

... Um... that's unusual, since the boyfriend/girlfriend is generally the one that abuses children, not the biological parent...but it's not water boarding. (Not that calling any abuse that uses water "water boarding" is unusual, but hey)

Posted by: Foxfier at February 8, 2010 05:47 PM

Reading a bit further, about as much of her head as would be submerged for a salon hair-washing is claimed to have been done-- thing is, the little girl is terrified of water, and (sensible child) of her father.

Posted by: Foxfier at February 8, 2010 05:52 PM

Auuuugh....I have been waterboarded by my maker. I was in the back yard, reclining on my wooden deck chair when water started to fall from the sky trying to make me confess that I was not living the "green lifestyle" that would ensure a sustainable environment for unspecified future generations to come....

I will never forget the fear as the first drops hit....washing away the sunscreen....pushing me ever closer to the end of life as the water began to fill my lungs.....

*whew* I am glad I could confess....now where is my M4???

Posted by: kbob in katy at February 8, 2010 06:18 PM

When I read that article I wanted to protest the use of the term "waterboarded" according to the description of the act. Thank you for posting on the inaccuracy.

And no one was ever waterboarded 183 times. Water was poured 183 times. I wish people would get that through their tiny little minds.

Posted by: ShyAsrai at February 9, 2010 03:05 AM

Hey, what's happening to that der kitten?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at February 9, 2010 03:46 PM

Yelm? That explains it. Yelm is a vile place.
The father? That isn't a father. That is Grendel.

Posted by: Cricket at February 10, 2010 07:21 AM

Do those kittens come in any other flavour?

Posted by: Cosmic Navel Lint at February 11, 2010 11:42 AM

Grendel? Maybe, although I was thinking more along the lines of Cronos. Role model of a father for this fellow, eh what?

*Secures 3 meter pole to bulkhead so as to avoid commenting on eating...

Posted by: 007 at February 11, 2010 12:06 PM