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March 27, 2010

"Pennsylvania: a caring state"...

...so sayeth the Spousal Unit in response to this story:

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) - Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a long-dead opossum along a highway. State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36 in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.

The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance. He says another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Levier says the animal already had been dead a while.

Posted by Cassandra at March 27, 2010 01:00 PM

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Never drink on your first date with a dead possum. It will only turn out badly...

Posted by: BillT at March 27, 2010 01:14 PM

Maybe he was a democrat and thought it was ObamaCare?


anyone have a breath mint?

Posted by: vet66 at March 27, 2010 01:42 PM

Perhaps in his stupor he thought he was performing a true public service by saving an escaped/injured Punxsutawney Phill?

Or maybe he was hoping to resurrect P-P in hopes for a SHORTER winter prognostication?

Posted by: ziobuck at March 27, 2010 02:53 PM

Are we sure it wasn't an opossum playing William Shatner?

Posted by: Cricket at March 27, 2010 05:36 PM

Yup. The possum would have kissed back...

Posted by: BillT at March 27, 2010 07:04 PM

There's drunk. There's ground-hugging drunk. There's snot-slinging, hymn-singing, commode hugging drunk. But son, there ain't no such thing as possum-kissin' drunk . . . until now.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at March 27, 2010 10:15 PM

Since it was in Punxsutawney, "ziobuck" may be onto something. Otherwise, swapping spit with roadkill is about the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.

Of course, personally, I've no fondness for rodentia...

Posted by: camojack at March 28, 2010 12:37 AM

If you mistake roadkill possum for roadkill woodchuck -- you definitely are *not* a redneck.

If you take either of them home for supper, though, it's debatable.

If you put a liplock on either one, you're beyond redneck on the Devo side of the slide...

Posted by: BillT at March 28, 2010 07:01 AM

Roadkill's OK as long as it doesn't have the blue spray-paint on it.

Posted by: Texan99 at March 29, 2010 12:28 PM

You mean the orange spray paint that turns blue after ten days...?

Posted by: BillT at March 29, 2010 01:39 PM

The kind you spray on your way to work, so you'll know which ones are fresh enough to pick up for dinner on your way back.

Posted by: Texan99 at March 29, 2010 06:30 PM

It makes sense at some level.

Whenever I try to trap a live opossum, the first thing I catch is skunk. Therefore, just go for the dead opossum.

The level this makes sense at has a low bar, btw.

Posted by: tomg51 at March 30, 2010 02:02 PM

I'd suggest putting up a "Possums Only" sign on the trap, but skunks are notoriously illiterate.

Posted by: BillT at March 30, 2010 02:11 PM