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March 25, 2010

Coffee Snorters: Test Your Beer Fu Edition

Here.

Smile for the Day.

Thought for the Day:

The only way to influence the other fellow is to talk about what he wants and show him how to get it. If, for example, you don't want your son to smoke, don't preach at him, and don't talk about what you want; but show him that cigarette's may keep him from making the baseball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.

Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son one day tried to get a calf into the barn, but they made the common mistake of thinking only of what they wanted. Emerson pushed and his son pulled. But the calf did just what they did; he thought only of what he wanted; so he stiffened his legs and stubbornly refused to leave the pasture. The Irish housemaid saw their predicament. She thought of what the calf wanted; so she put her maternal finger in the calf's mouth, and let the calf suck her finger as she gently led him into the barn.

Andrew Carnegie's sister-in-law was worried sick over her two boys. They were at Yale, and they were so busy with their own affairs that they neglected to write home and paid no attention whatever to their mother's frantic letters. Carnegie offered to wager a hundred dollars that he could get an answer by return mail, without even asking for it! Someone called his bet; so he wrote his nephews a chatty letter, mentioning casually in a postscript that he was sending each one a five-dollar bill. He neglected, however, to enclose the money. That did the trick. Back came the replies by return mail thanking "Dear Uncle Andrew" for his kind note and ...you can finish the sentence yourself.

The next time you want to persuade someone to do something, before you speak, pause and ask, "How can I make him want to do it?" Get the other man's point of view and see things from his angle as well as from his own.

- Dale Carnegie



Confounding the conventional wisdom,
part 1:

While male victims sometimes experience behavior like groping and unwanted sexual advances, employment lawyers say increasingly "locker room" type behavior like vulgar talk and horseplay with sexual connotations have been the subject of claims.

Ron Chapman, an attorney with employment law firm Ogletree Deakins in Dallas, says in most cases the man suing is someone who has been fired or laid off.

...The EEOC doesn't track the sex of the alleged harasser, but Ms. Lisser says the EEOC has observed an increasing number of men alleging sexual harassment from other male co-workers—and not as many cases of men accusing female bosses or co-workers of sexual harassment. Employment attorneys have also seen an increase in man-on-man harassment complaints.

...Companies have educated employees about sexual harassment for years, but some are making their messages more male-focused to safeguard themselves from potential litigation. Freada Klein, a workplace bias expert in San Francisco, has been advising companies to add examples of sexual harassment levied against men to their training and education programs. She encourages clients to bring up scenarios like public humiliation, bullying and inappropriate banter. "More types of behaviors are put in the sexual harassment bucket when men are the victims," she says.

Question for the day: do you think it's harder for males who are sexually harassed to come forward when their harasser is male or female?

Confounding the conventional wisdom, part 2:

Young women and teenage girls often face efforts by male partners to sabotage birth control or coerce pregnancy — including damaging condoms and destroying contraceptives — and these efforts, defined as "reproductive coercion," frequently are associated with physical or sexual violence, a study by a team of researchers led by UC Davis has found.

Published online today in the January issue of the journal Contraception, the study, "Pregnancy Coercion, Intimate Partner Violence and Unintended Pregnancy," also found that among women who experienced both reproductive coercion and partner violence, the risk of unintended pregnancy doubled. The study is the first quantitative examination of the relationship between intimate partner violence, reproductive coercion and unintended pregnancy, the authors say.

Interesting counterpart to the last time this subject came up, and just another reason why I've always argued that responsibility is a two way street.

Perfect man lists:

... must-haves are not the shallow things a lot of women choose, like height, car choice and salary. Must-haves, to me, are things that have to do with someone's character, like spirituality, relationships with his family, or how he handled a previous breakup.

Too often, women create an image in their heads of what this man should look like, sound like and be like, and get so obsessed with it that when the person you need is standing there, he gets sidelined because of this insatiable desire to check items off the list.

If I ever had a perfect man list, I'm not aware of it. On the other hand, the guys I dated all had certain character traits in common. If I had to sum them all up, I think my primary requirement was that a man had to be able to pull his own weight in the relationship. Not more than his weight or all the weight: just his half.

Posted by Cassandra at March 25, 2010 07:16 AM

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Comments

I *drink* beer, I don't *read* it.

And the only beers I ever said "fu" to included the words "Light," "Lite," "Non-alcoholic," "Ice" or "Dry" on the label.

I don't drink beer for the *taste*, Madison Avenue...

Posted by: BillT at March 25, 2010 07:30 AM

Well I did not do very well on the beer quiz at all, but I thought you gentlemen would enjoy it!

Posted by: Cassandra at March 25, 2010 09:06 AM

...a man had to be able to pull his own weight in the relationship. Not more than his weight or all the weight: just his half.

Ah, sneaky lady! We know that the average man is 15% larger than the average woman, so if the standard is that he pull 'his own weight,' that'd be 57.5% of the weight in the relationship, to your mere 42.5%...

Posted by: Grim at March 25, 2010 09:25 AM

*rolling eyes* :)

I should never give you a straight line like that, Grim!

Clarification: I meant weight in a metaphorical sense, not a literal one :p

Posted by: Cassandra at March 25, 2010 09:30 AM

Metaphorically, speaking, the average man is 15% larger than

*whap*

Yes, dear.

Posted by: BillT at March 25, 2010 09:38 AM

I think that any relationship where either spouse carries only 50% of the relationship is doomed. Both spouses must be committed to giving 101% of the effort. Marriage is just too unlikely of an institution for a mere 50/50 split.

My observation of the week:

Those who compare love and war do not understand either. In war, the losers are carried off into captivity. In love, this is true of the winners.

Posted by: Geekasaurus at March 25, 2010 09:40 AM

I guess I've sorta got a list. Like the author says, it's not the shallow points like what he looks like, how much money he makes or what kind of car that he drives. It's more about shared values and good character, which are more the "must-haves". That's not to say I don't have a list of "like-to-haves" (non-smoker, not previously married/no kids already, military background). Do I think I'm going to get everything I want? Absolutely not. I think I'm realistic enough to know that isn't going to happen. Right now, I don't even have a specific someone I'm pining over (been there, done that, and it sucks, too). Lists - no matter what kind: must-haves or like-to-haves - don't do much good if you aren't meeting anyone.

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at March 25, 2010 11:44 AM

If he's got a deep conviction that he's responsible for his own behavior, everything else is negotiable.

Posted by: Texan99 at March 25, 2010 12:07 PM

I am happy with what I have. He is perfect.

On another note; I met the Blog Princess. Now, what does that have to do with coffee snorters?

Only this: Because of you, missy, I am walking twice a day and doing Wii fit.

Talk about yer unholy influences...

Posted by: Cricket at March 25, 2010 01:06 PM

Good for you Miss Cricket!

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at March 25, 2010 01:13 PM

Missed the one about Texas beer.

Posted by: spd rdr at March 25, 2010 01:32 PM

"We know that the average man is 15% larger than the average woman"

Well, depends on whether that 15% if fat or muscle/bone, now doesn't it.

Not that it would make things lighter if it was the latter.

"Clarification: I meant weight in a metaphorical sense, not a literal one"

Well, weight is metaphorical anyways. It's a metaphor constructed with the stipulation that a mass is something like a weight given gravity 1.0g, which is impossibly humanocentric as all metaphors seem to be. Maybe we should call it the Obunga (g) in praise of that universal whirl pool that is the center of the galaxy.

"Marriage is just too unlikely of an institution for a mere 50/50 split. "

Of course, marriage is supposed to be a union greater than the sum of its part. Human details, however, abounds with the work of the devil. Idle hands and what not.

"Those who compare love and war do not understand either. In war, the losers are carried off into captivity. In love, this is true of the winners."

The mentality is also different. When hunting humans or animal, total focus must be necessary as well as a complete disregard for certain what if scenarios. Since the objective is to kill, it doesn't matter as much what the prey feels. Dead is dead. It is a kind of do it yourself solution to all problems.

When courting mates, the objective is life. That requires longer term planning. It also means the total Zen focus of a hunter may not be the right solution, even if it would solve a problem in the short run. If in the long run the problem is as bad or worse, then the instincts of the hunter must Stand Down.

To a certain extent, the lizard brain that puts us in the survival moment of Now doesn't get along well with the monkey brain that tries to predict survival based upon social hierarchy.

"Talk about yer unholy influences..."

Unholy indeed. I prey to the [redacted] every night that I shall be given the strength to fight unholy influences.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at March 25, 2010 01:38 PM

"is something like a weight given gravity "

Is a weight. Not a simile.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at March 25, 2010 01:39 PM

Because of you, missy, I am walking twice a day and doing Wii fit.

Behold the awesome power of my thighs... They have applied for their own zip code :p They were going to apply to be the 51st state but incrementalism being all the rage these days they decided to get their nose under the tent first...

Heh :)

Seriously, good for you Cricket! I have been thinking of getting a Wii for when The Unit gets home. Should give us something to do.

/running like helk

Posted by: Cassandra at March 25, 2010 01:57 PM

re: 50/50 splits.

That's more of a principle than a hard and fast rule.

For me, balance is very important. Nothing in life is ever equal, and the balance can change over time. One partner may be more "in love" or may contribute more to the relationship at any given time but over the long haul I think it's a lot easier if there's a rough balance.

Men and women often want/need different things from a relationship. But for one partner to get most/all of their wants addressed and the other to get little or nothing doesn't strike me as healthy.

Posted by: Cassandra at March 25, 2010 02:02 PM

Whenever there is a power imbalanced, injustice happens automatically. Whenever injustice happens to one party and that one party cannot see their issues addressed, hatred is a normal reaction.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at March 25, 2010 02:18 PM

re: 50/50 splits.

Like the fifth time I got shot down.

I almost *was* one.

Thank the Lowered for shoulder harnesses with inertia reels.

Posted by: BillT at March 25, 2010 02:53 PM

Perfect man list: Admit it Cass, you are just crazy about my out-of-control muttonchop sideburns and McGyver mullet. Them is a two-fisted attack of sexual dynamism no southern gal can resist! I'm justa hunka hunka burnin' love. . . .:)

Posted by: a former european at March 25, 2010 03:05 PM

Well, it was a tangential Thought. Here I was, spouting off about being prepared, when I realized I had the stamina and shape of the Pillsbury Dough Persyn. If someone poked me, I would fall over.

So, after saying and realizing that, and Miss Ladybug gently prodding me, I have been walking in the morning and evening, and doing 10 minutes of Wii fit with the Princess.

It was one thing to work back to using my limbs; it is another to get fit first. This am, I walked all over Wally World. Not that that is a first for me, but it is the first time I did it without worrying about being out of breath.

Besides...there was another reason. It was the way your face lit up when you talked about your granson playing with Sausage.

I want to be around to see my grandchildren playing with their pets.

Posted by: Cricket at March 25, 2010 03:05 PM

Maybe if the two of us exercise enough, we will be worthy of the one-man, two fisted cornucopia of sexual dynamism that is afe! :)

Posted by: Cassandra at March 25, 2010 03:18 PM

Seriously, I will admit to feeling pretty old this weekend when I was out working in the yard. I was still able to work all day like I did when I was younger but boy! did I feel tired.

Years ago I used to do that sort of thing all the time. Getting older is not for sissies! :)

Posted by: Cassandra at March 25, 2010 03:19 PM

afe is such a mensch.

*thud*

Posted by: Cricket at March 25, 2010 04:00 PM

AFE - send pictures of your tailer (both residential and vehicular), bass boat and the cars in your yard to [redacted], South Skeeter Nip, LA. Then we'll talk. My virtue is not cheap, big boy.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at March 25, 2010 04:58 PM

OMG. That was classic :p

Posted by: Cassandra at March 25, 2010 05:03 PM

I have no interest in having a husband.
But I am 15% larger than an average man ;)

Posted by: tomg51 at March 25, 2010 05:05 PM

I only got the Miller questions right and solely because I went to the plant and the museum :o) I am a Guinness girl with may be an occasional dark Belgium ale...
I still can do the stuff at the same level when I was 20 but now I have to pop 2 ibuprofens every 3 hours while doing it :o)

Posted by: olga at March 25, 2010 05:29 PM

LittleRed...you are dangerous.

The Engineer had me working on polyester fabric.
'Brady Bunsh' The whole time I was saying 'ew ew ew ew ew...' and 'There is NOT enough chocolate on the planet' and other things under my breath.

As to aging, I have the hairs to prove it. Maturity, eh.

I really try, you know, for the sake of the children...

Posted by: Cricket at March 25, 2010 06:12 PM

And that is 'white' hairs. Harumph.

Posted by: Cricket at March 25, 2010 06:13 PM

I found my first gray hair at age 18 as a freshman in college. I've been told some female on my mom's side was completely gray in her 20s... Wasn't until into my 30s that I started to color my hair to hide the gray.

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at March 25, 2010 06:43 PM

My three sons-in-law (that should be reality show, no?) would not be surprised at my abysmal score on the beer test. The last time we had a family get-together, they said, "Next time we'll bring the beer OK?"

Posted by: Donna B. at March 25, 2010 11:34 PM

Yeah, I got about 50%. As for my mom, she saw a recipe for Guinness-braiser bratwurst last week. She got Guinness in a can, not Guinness in a bottle...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at March 26, 2010 01:18 AM

Let me display my ignorance for all things beer...

She got Guinness in a can, not Guinness in a bottle...

There's a DIFFERENCE?

Posted by: HomefrontSix at March 26, 2010 04:49 AM

There sure *is*!

A empty bottle will go clear over the bridge railing when you chunk the empty at 60-per, and an empty can will barely make it past the curb...

Posted by: BillT at March 26, 2010 05:43 AM

I'm not a beer drinker. I'd tasted a Guinness before, years ago. My brother had a six pack of bottles. REALLY didn't like it. Anyhow, I didn't know Guinness even came in a can until Mom got that 4-pack last week...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at March 26, 2010 10:04 AM

A *four* pack?

They've started marketing "Brat Recipe" portions?!?

Oh, the humanity...

Posted by: Bari-Bill at March 26, 2010 10:39 AM

Guinness in a can is good for you. But I'm not so sure about this.

Posted by: spd rdr at March 26, 2010 10:49 AM

I'm not a beer drinker. I'd tasted a Guinness before, years ago.

Years ago you could not have had a decent Guinness in the States. Unless the keg was flown in. Which one bar in Monterrey did.

Guinness never traveled well. Even the Irish said the closer you physically were to the brewery, the better the Guinness. Canning and bottling ruined it. It's only recently they've managed to figure out how to ship it in non-keg form. I'm not saying you'll like it any more now than you did then, but it definitely has lost the burnt taste you used to get out of a can or bottle.

Posted by: MikeD at March 26, 2010 11:03 AM

Yup, cold Guinness in a large (20oz?) black can. Had one on St. Patty's day, I was shocked. Excellent, better as it warmed. I had to drive home, so there was only the one, but there will be more of them.

Posted by: htom at March 26, 2010 01:02 PM

I have been thinking of getting a Wii for when The Unit gets home. Should give us something to do.

I knew Wii was working on reaching out to the adult market, but I don't think that's quite what I thought they had in mind... :D

Posted by: FbL at March 26, 2010 02:14 PM

I knew Wii was working on reaching out to the adult market, but I don't think that's quite what I thought they had in mind... :D

OMG ;p

That was priceless, FbL.

Posted by: Cassandra at March 26, 2010 02:19 PM

Yeah, I got about 50%. As for my mom, she saw a recipe for Guinness-braiser bratwurst last week. She got Guinness in a can, not Guinness in a bottle... Posted by: Miss Ladybug at March 26, 2010 01:18 AM

We used Guinness in preparing our corned beef recently and I've got to tell ya ... it was reeeeeeally gooooooooood.

Posted by: I Call BS at March 26, 2010 03:29 PM

I think I am going to make myself some corned beef and cabbage this weekend. Maybe colcannon, too.

Posted by: Cassandra at March 26, 2010 03:37 PM

(enters kitchen in dirty, wife-beater t-shirt which does not suffice to cover beer gut protuberance) Dang it Lurleen! Whar's mah cold Coonhunter beer? If'n mah big, muttonchop sideburns and state fair mullet-champion hair ain't nuff fer you, then you kin go on en git! Any woman in this here trayler park'l take yer place fer dang shore! Now go git me mah Outlaw Biker magazine!

-- Redneck Romeo and Juliet

Posted by: a former european at March 26, 2010 05:59 PM

That was priceless, FbL.

Apparently I've been spending too much time with an email group comprised almost entirely of smartasses. It rubbed off on me... :D

*Adjusts normally spotless Halo of Innocence*

Posted by: FbL at March 26, 2010 06:04 PM

It rubbed off on me...

Ah-HA! So, you *were* taking notes!

Posted by: Bari-Bill at March 26, 2010 07:33 PM

Sorry Bill, it was a different email group. ;)

Posted by: FbL at March 26, 2010 07:38 PM

Didn't stop you from taking notes, though, did it?

Posted by: BillT at March 26, 2010 09:04 PM

Totally off topic (sorry, afe, you need an accessory...what we in the Ozarks call a hillbilly woman-gitter: A club)...but the Engineer and I saw something that was wonderful and funny.

Kids at a stoplight doing a Chinese fire drill. The last kid on the left rear passenger side got locked out of the car. They were all laughing hysterically...and I am still chuckling over it.
They let him in. We were in the left turn lane and our light had us going first, so we passed them by. The driver, a cute young lady, had her hand over her mouth and she couldn't stop shaking.

I know, stuff like that is dangerous, and you shouldn't do it...but well, considering all the rotten news this week, it was somehow reassuring
that teens will be teens...no matter what.

We noticed other peopl around us who had seen it were laughing too.

Posted by: Cricket at March 26, 2010 10:48 PM

Cricket: The fire drill story was priceless. Last time the fam and I did this was when we lived in Italy 13 years ago. Kids were 17, 12, and 11. The Italians must have thought, "Those crazy Americans!"

Re: "Perfect man" comments. I'm amazed that for the "perfect man" none of the ladies mentioned the Edward character in TWILIGHT. All the gals in my fam (wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, nieces, etc.) seem ga-ga over this chump, both in the book and movie. How does one drive a stake into the heart of a fictional character?

Posted by: ziobuck at March 27, 2010 03:24 PM

My daughter, no joke, is a die-hard John Wayne fan. She has seen no less than 15 of his movies.
Her favorites are 'McClintock,' 'True Grit,' Rooster Cogburn and the Lady' as well as a few others.

She lost her heart though, to Clark Gable. First as the reporter in 'It Happened One Night' and then in 'Gone With The Wind.' Then, after she recovered from him, she swooned again over Errol Flynn in 'Robin Hood.'

The Engineer and I did a fire drill with his parents before we were married. I think his mom and dad nearly fainted that I even knew what one was, let alone participated!

Life is full of surprises.

Posted by: Cricket at March 27, 2010 05:52 PM

It was probably about 1993. I'd graduated college, was here in Austin with my parents prior to getting my first apartment, and my brother was living with us, as well. He'd recently gotten out of the Army after being stationed in Seoul. He had a 6-pack of Guinness in bottles. I don't think I'd like it any better now. I don't care for beer. Only beer I've tasted I wasn't completely disgusted by was a Weissen at a micro-brewery on Water Street in Milwaukee in December '96 - someone let me have a taste of theirs. I'm much more the dessert drink kinda gal: usually something with Bailey's, ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at March 28, 2010 02:05 AM

Edward from the Twilight series? Only reason I know who that is, is he's played by the same guy who had the part of Cedric in the Harry Potter movies. Haven't read the books, have seen the movies. Really don't care, one way or the other.

My favorite John Wayne movie? The Quiet Man Right now, there's not any Hollywood celebrity I'm swooning over. One man I think I might actually swoon over is a true American hero.

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at March 28, 2010 02:11 AM

How does one drive a stake into the heart of a fictional character?

Tell them a vampire's breath smells like a drunk's after he's kissed a squished possum.

Posted by: BillT at March 28, 2010 07:13 AM

*chuckle*

Posted by: ziobuck at April 1, 2010 03:53 PM

Gave you an idea, did it?

Posted by: BillT at April 1, 2010 07:05 PM

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